SLIGHTLY EDITED-
guys I was traveling back to my home town when we got a flat tire and a state trooper had to help us. Now I'm in a lobby of some rest stop and I'm literally shaking bc there's two ppl here I don't know. help.
FOR SOME REASON THE CHAPTER NAME WENT AWAY, I'LL FIX THAT LATER
Also feel free to point out any mistakes!! Vote and comment!
MAEVE CAMPBELL
Most of the time whenever you start high school they give you a big speech and somewhere in that speech they ask the question.
the question that half of us dread. "where do you see yourself in five or six years?"
Whenever Mr. H asked me that question my mind went blank. I didn't really see anything.
I don't know if I'm going anywhere in life. I mean all I do is read and hang out in my room 24/7, I haven't even thought of what I want to be after high school much less where I see myself in five years and it's the summer before my senior year.
the summer before my last year of high school and I don't know what I want to be.
I mean there's so many things you could be. You could be an author, artist, song writer, teacher, bus driver, taxi driver, or maybe you could start your own band.
There's just so many things to choose from.
If you asked my mom she'd say I've been indecisive my whole life, like that time when I was two and I couldn't choose what binky I wanted I just knew I didn't want the blue one or when I was five and I couldn't decide if I wanted princess or Dora underwear (I ended up getting Batman anyways). Then there's the time when I was seven and there was two different birthday party going on and I got invited to both which lead to me not knowing which one to go to because I "didn't want to be mean to the person who's party I didn't end up go to". I ended up not going to either.
Anyways you get the point. I don't really think I'm indecisive.
I mean if you asked me which book trope is my least favorite I would say the pregnancy trope.
It's not like I hate kids or anything it's just that in the books most of the time by the time they end up together they've only known each other for a couple of months, two years at the most and I personally wouldn't get pregnant after being together for two years. I like pretending I'm the girls in the books and it's hard to do that whenever the end up pregnant.
But then again if you asked which trope was my favorite I would probably have to think about it for a few days, maybe weeks.
Right now I can't decide if I should get new red converse or if I should get new black ones because my old black ones are all ripped up.
The pros to getting the red ones is
- MY FAVORITE COLOR IS RED
- I WOULD HAVE TWO RED PAIRS OF CONVERSE.
That's it. The pros for the black ones is:
- I need a new pair anyways.
- black goes with everything.
That's also it. That's why I'm stuck, and let's be honest there is no cons to red or black converse.
So I'm stuck as I've stated
"Maeve, what is taking so long? I told you to pick a pair of shoes not decide who deserves to die first." my mother, Josie, says while rolling her eyes as she starts walking towards me.
"I can't decide which converse I want." I admit still looking at the two pairs of converse. maybe I should just pick the cheaper ones.
"Come on honey it's not that hard to decide." she says, annoyance clear in her tone.
I look at the price on both of them.
the red ones are $82.50 and the black ones are $70.45.
damn, why do shoes cost so much? We should've went to Walmart. I bet we could've got these exact shoes fifty dollars cheaper.
The black ones it is I guess.
"I'll get the black ones." I say aloud while picking up the converse box, I turn toward my mom and see a pleased look on her face.
so I made the right choice, good.
We've been having money troubles a lot lately. Mom and dad don't think I know but I've heard them arguing about it a lot recently.
They try to act like everything's okay but everyone in the house can tell it's not.
my family and my parents relationship is going to complete shit and I can't do anything about it except sit there and watch.
At the register there is a blonde blowing gum bubbles, while staring at her phone.
We walk are way over and sit the converse and some nikes that I picked out early down on the counter. My mom has always said "2 pairs of shoes a year. I bet one pair will last three years." And she was right like always. The white pair of converse I have in right now I've had for 4 years.
Is it only me or like does it take forever to grow.
The lady looks up, she looks around 20-22 years old, she rolls her eyes and says "is this all" in an annoyed tone as she scans the two pairs of shoes.
"Yes." My mother answer as I stand beside her awkwardly.
"144 dollars and 88 cents." she says as she rolls her eyes. again.
I hope they get stuck back there.
and this is one of the many reasons why I hate blondes.
_______
"How are you feeling today?" My therapist, Sasha, asked while opening my file.
"Good. I got a new pair of shoes. They were black. I was going to get red ones but I already have a pair and the black ones were cheaper so I stuck with the black ones." I ramble as Sasha writes stuff down.
I look around the room trying not to think about all the things she could be writing.
"That's good but I asked how you are not what have you been up to." She says. Her voice didn't sound annoyed but then again it's also her job to be nice and fix others problems.
"I'm good." I state again as I avoid making eye contact with her.
"okay clearly you don't want to talk about yourself. Are you excited about going into your senior year after this summer? Did you have any mood swings this week?" she ask as she stops writing and finally looks up from her paper and at me.
we're calling them mood swings today?
"I'm anxious, nervous, and kinda scared not going to lie. It's my last year, but there's also no one I'm going to miss at that shit hole and as of right now no mood swings this week." I answer truthfully while looking at a painting on the wall. I've always loved art. Although I love it I'm not good at it. Well I don't think I'm good at it.
My ex boyfriend Aaron use to say that I could be an artist one day. I never believed him. I mean he was always lying so what was stopping him from lying about that?
"That is a normally feeling to feel when you're about to go in your last year of high school and that's good, I'm proud of you Maeve." She reassures and praises me as she starts writing again.
I honestly don't know how she does it. I'm horrible at multitasking. I can multitask when it's like a life or death situation but if I'm typing and someone is talking to me at the same time I have to finish typing before I start listening to them talk. It's a must because if I let them talk first then I forget what I was going to say and if I let them talk to me while I'm typing then I just end up typing what they're saying.
"yeah I guess."
"It's summer. Do you think you'll be able to get out your comfort zone a little bit? Interact with other people that are not in your family, wear bathing suits, maybe wear some shorts?" Sasha questions.
"I'll try." I say still staring at the painting.
And I will try. Tomorrow, I'll try tomorrow.
Thats probably a lie but I'm trying to manifest.
"Well are time is almost up so we can go ahead and end it here and I hope to see you next Wednesday, Maeve." Sasha says as she starts folding my file and clipping the pen to the folder.
"Your doing good Maeve. If you just continue taking the meds we prescribe then maybe that'll help. You're still taking them, right?"
"no," I answer, looking down in shame. "They make me tired and drained. I can't feel anything when I take them."
"But they will help you get better. You have to think about everything that comes after this. If you continue taking the meds you could have an amazing future and if you don't you'll probably end up in jail or a mental facility. And I'm sorry if that sounds mean or rude but it's the honest truth and sometimes the truth hurts like a — mind my language — like a bitch." She says while looking at me.
I wonder how she keeps her voice so sweet all the time. Does it ever get tiring being so sweet all the time?
"Okay I'll start taking them again." I lie. It shouldn't be that easy to lie but after lying to everyone for half of your life you kind of get use to it.
lying just comes easy to some people. Maybe it comes easy for to many people.
_________
XAVIER THOMPSON
Do you ever feel like you can't live with out someone? Like not just someone that you're romantically involved with but like a sibling or a friend?
that's how I've been feeling every since she's not here.
Raven has been gone for two months and three days. Raven's my other half, my twin sister.
I don't really think my parents really care that she's gone. They're the ones that sent her away so why would they care?
The night they sent her away they told her "I don't want one of my children tarnishing our name. If you want to act out and act like a little delinquent then you can do it somewhere else but you will not be doing it in my house. Do you understand me young lady."
I understand they didn't want all the trouble my sister was getting in to go public and mess up there good reputation but did they ever think about how I would feel? What I wanted?
but it doesn't matter anymore. She's gone but she's not dead.
and plus she'd want her twin brother to have a happy summer.
When we were kids she'd always say "no matter if I'm dead or if I'm off in the multiverse I'll always want you to be happy, even if that's without me."
plus Maddox is still here which means I have to protect him.
Maddox Thompson is my little brother he's 15 turning 16 in a few months. Me and him have never been close. That made my father happy. He always said "don't keep people close and don't tell them your secrets and they won't be able to hurt you or your reputation"
of course with my family it's always about reputation. My mother was a model from the age 15 to the age 23 which is when she had me and raven. I'm pretty sure she blames us for "ruining her career."
Though I think it's her fault. I mean she didn't have to have unprotected sex and if it was protected sex then she could've gotten plan b the next day. Or she could have gotten an abortion. She could've even given us up for adoption.
But she didn't and that was a choice she made not me or Raven
"bro, are you listening?" Ezra, one of my friends since I was in third grade and he was in fifth grade, ask snapping me out of the little daze I was in.
"no," I say truthfully "if it's worth repeating then please do."
"Josh is throwing a party for the start of summer or some shit. He wants us to come." he says while dribbling the basketball he stole from his little brother around an hour ago. Ezra has always partied a lot. More than most people do but no body says anything. If he's not partying then he's probably in his room drawling.
Or there's days like today were he gets random burst of energy and does random stuff.
He had this other friend from before we were even friends. The only thing I know is that they meet when they were really young, like in preschool, and they stayed friends up until she left. He doesn't really like talking about her and I don't try to talk about her because I don't want to be responsible if he starts crying or some shit.
"Why so that way other people will show up?" I say as I look up at the sky from my spot in the grass, trying not to zone out again.
"I guess so. I don't know I didn't ask. I thought you'd want to go get shit face drunk or some shit. Heard you had a pretty rough few months. I mean with your sister —" I cut him off before he even gets the chance to finish whatever he was going to say about my sister.
"Don't you fucking dare talk about my sister." I snap, turning to glare at him before going back to look up at the sky.
"Alright, damn didn't mean to make you mad." he says putting his hands up for a second before quickly going back to dribbling the ball. "So are you in or not?"
"sure" I say fully zoning out as he goes on about how his regular hook up Rachel has been way to clingy so he ended it with her and how he's going to take a break from hook ups.
2547 words
Okay, WOW! I cannot believe I didn't get a writers block while writing this.
I usually get one at least have way through the chapter but this one just came easy...
I took this book down for a little bc I decided to rearrange something's but the only difference with this chapter is that I added Xavier's part to this chapter instead of the next one!!
What do you guys think is wrong with Maeve? Why do y'all think she goes to therapy??
I hate all the chapters I right but oh well the book I write after this will probably be so much better...
anyways I'm posting this tonight instead of tomorrow because tomorrow I have a dentist appointments:) also gonna try to read at least 3 books before I publish the next chapter. (yes, its already written.)
Follow my other social media
Instagram: gene.library
TikTok: genereads