The rest of the day I fought down painful lumps that grew larger and more persistent, nearly asphyxiating me.
I muster smiles and stare right at the person speaking, acting all engrossed and connected to them, but my head was tossing and turning around the one sole person that was giving me the hardest time here.
I can't fit my head into knowing what he's thinking.
At first, he doubted I was even Mark Kent's real daughter, and then he was scientifically proven wrong, although he knew it from the beginning that I was real, because of how much my dad spoke of me in front of him, which only made him grow up hating me day by day, thinking I refused seeing my father and I unloved him for leaving my mother and I, which was a whole different story that I myself haven't figured out yet!
I sigh and rub my forehead in distress.
And then what happened?
I felt him start to loosen up, and we started to get along, he took me to that piano concert, well not literally but, he attended it and that was what mattered...
He approved of me as a sister in front of my father's employees in our company.
We went jogging together one morning!
He even took me into his room for a movie for crying out loud!
What could've possibly transpired?!
He said I was still the reason, and then he drew his words back and said it was his fault, not mine...
That takes me into considering a bunch of other stuff. Like the why was it his fault, and that wasn't something I could easily figure out myself.
A couple of days later...
Luke left, Travis left, and even Alex left, who turned out to be a really great guy! He gave us a good bunch of laughs and his company was purely gleeful.
But now the house was dull, vacant, and suffocating.
Waking up early to the hot summer days was pure torment...
I leave the house at 10 in the morning and head to where Luke took me for a jog before.
I've been doing this every morning for the past couple of days.
On recalling Travis leaving us, how he apologized to me and pulled me into a really long comforting hug. I felt lonely afterwards.
Yes, he isn't the last man for me on planet earth, and yes it's good I didn't fall in love with him already. But those don't eliminate the fact that it is distressing.
You like a guy, you think he likes you, and maybe he does, and then you get bummed. Not because he has a girlfriend or there is someone else, but because of things greater than you. Things he thought you wouldn't understand.
I don't blame him, but I really wanted to know why things didn't work out.
I reach the walking route and start walking at a moderate pace.
My thoughts switch to Luke, who only came home really late every night, and left really early every morning, just before dawn.
I was thankful for his absence however...
As much as the thought of him drinking to an excess and trashing himself on daily basis disturbed me, I could care less, because that is what he asked for and that is because I couldn't do anything about it.
Well, besides counting the bottles that he had every other night. The wine cellar was getting emptier and emptier. The bottles were significantly disappearing.
One thing that still had me linked to him was his recent music playlist on Spotify.
It was called Sundown Vibes...
A few that I really like were; From Eden by Hozier, Somebody to love by Kyrill & Redford, Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch, and Kiss me by Ed Sheeran.
This specific playlist was all about love, lost love, tough love, and even the sought for love...
Love! Love! Love!
I exasperatingly pull the earphones away from my ears and stuff them into my jacket's pocket.
And I start to jog...
~~~~~~~~~~
700! I have finally been able to jog throughout 700 meters and still had breath in me!
That meant I had to go for 800 tomorrow morning, which wasn't something I looked forward to.
I pick up an energy shake from a juice-it shop on my way home feeling flushed back to life, my blood warming me up and my body moving actively.
I step into the house and turn to shut the door behind me.
"Where have you been?" I stir.
"Jogging..." I tuck a hair strand behind my ear.
He's missed...
Luke sat on the third step of the stairs, in one of his usual suits, his tie loosened and his shirt parted.
I instantly look away and keep the promise I've made.
I start walking to the stairs and when I reach it, I surpass him and head upstairs, devoting my eyes to my footsteps.
I step into my room and let a deep breath free when I shut the door behind me.
I shimmy out of my sportswear and head to the bathroom for a warm shower and some peace of mind.
~~~~~~~~~~
I continue to direct the hot air between my wet tangles of hair drying them and watch as they fan all around my face.
I feel a familiar pinch in my lower abdomen and that distresses me.
I hear my ringtone distantly and then shut the hair dryer.
"Hello?" I pick up.
"Emma, where were you? We woke up and you were away." Stacey speaks on the other side of the line.
"Yes, I was jogging. I've been doing that for the past few days too if you haven't noticed." I note.
"Oh, Luke worried us..." She lowers her tone.
"What?" I ask.
"He thought you left, as in left the house." She says and I frown.
"Did he care to check my room, and see that I haven't packed anything with me?" I scoff, feeling bizarre.
"I know right! Anyway, we're coming home; we just dropped Andrea back to her house. Her parents called her, lectured her about staying out all the time..." She informs me.
"We're also going for sushi, so get dressed; we'll honk when we're outside alright?" She says.
"Wait-" I speak before she hangs up, feeling my tummy-aches grow more painful.
"You guys go, I just came back and it feels like it's my time of the month. I won't feel well if I went out." I tell her.
"Are you sure?" She asks.
"Yes, I better hang up and take some of your pills, it's getting worse." I tell her.
"Okay, get yourself warmed up well and get some sleep!" She instructs and I smile before hanging up.
I turn to my closet and pick up a heavy hoodie and slide it on.
Walking out of my room to Erik's room where Stacey technically moved in...
I look for Stacey's cramps-comfort pills in one of her cosmetics bag and pinch out two pills into my palm then head downstairs.
Before I reach the end of the stairs I find Luke by the kitchen counter having a phone call and when he turns to acknowledge my presence I turn around and start heading back upstairs.
I'll just have to swallow the pills up and probably choke and die, and it'll all be his fault...
"Wait..." I hear him say and for a second I doubt he's even talking to me.
But when I look back he gestures for me to come over. I nearly double over the stairs but then my feet keep up.
I walk again towards him as he finishes up his phone call.
I hope it's a work matter...
Because I'm having no more fights tonight! Now is certainly not the time.
I'm a hormonal mess, and my cramps are developing fuller by the second.
He hangs up and I reach for a cup of water and swallow up the pills.
When I'm done, I turn to face him.
He's wearing his prominent frown and he's being his ambiguous self.
"I'm all ears." I eye him blankly.
He blinks repeatedly, his eyes narrowing as he inspects me for a moment, his scrutiny stresses me.
I can feel my heart painfully beating at the lower part of my abdomen. My overall temperature increasing...
"I'm going somewhere, will you come with?" He articulates.
"With you?" I frown at him.
He nods and guards me.
"Whatever happened to leaving you the hell alone?" I ask.
He worries his jaw.
"Not tonight..." He replies.
My expression shifts and I nod once.
Is he going to cease fire?
I walk past him and start at the stairs.
I stop midway and turn to look at him.
"Dress code?" I ask keeping my chin high.
"Anything comfy." He instantly replies with a faint smile.
I turn around and chew on the insides of my cheeks.
Although I should probably dive right into my bed and continue to restlessly shift upon my bed until my cramps minimize, here I was stressing about what I was going to wear and where Luke was going to take me.
I hope the pills kick-in soon...