Manhattan was dark.
Not the peaceful kind of darkness.
Nor the lively kind.
It was the kind of dark that curdles your stomach and sets you on edge. It was the kind of dark that twists shadows and hides criminals. It was the kind of dark that sends rats scurrying away in terror.
It was the kind of dark where everyone can tell that something's wrong.
Even if no one's around to sense it.
.........
Two boys were running through Manhattan's dark streets, splashing through puddles as they bolted through side streets and back alleys. Eventually, they stopped on the doorstep of a dirty building. The shorter of the two knocked with authority, while his companion shifted anxiously.
The door was opened by a tired looking boy in a blue shirt.
"Spot." Jack said solemnly. "Thanks for comin'."
Spot Conlon nodded curtly, lips pressed together in a firm frown.
Jack turned to the boy behind Spot and nodded gratefully. "Lantern. Good ta see ya."
"Where's Charlie?" The messenger prompted, ignoring the greeting.
Jack jutted his chin towards a doorway. "Kitchen."
And Lantern disappeared.
"What happened?" Spot asked gruffly.
Jack sighed. "That's a long story. Sit down?"
"I don't care, Kelly." The Brooklyn leader snarled. "Just tell me what happened."
Jack adjusted his hat. "Crutch and Al know more than I do."
"Take me to 'em then." Spot said impatiently.
Jack jerked a head towards a doorway, and the two entered the kitchen/dining room.
Most of the Newsies were compressed to one end of the table. Crutchie was next to Romeo, Lantern standing by his side. Specs sat between Romeo and Elmer, a comforting arm around the latter while the former glanced around nervously. Finch was on Elmer's other side, eyes bloodshot as he stared at the wall opposite. And Albert sat beside Finch, away from everyone else.
Jack cleared his throat quietly. "Crutchie, you mind tellin' Spot what happened?"
Crutchie spoke hoarsely. "How much does 'e know?"
"Not mu-"
"Nothing!" Spot slammed a fist on the table, causing Elmer to flinch. "All I know is something's happened ta Race, but no one's tellin' me what!"
It was Albert who spoke up, dull eyes fixed on the table.
"He's dead."
Spot froze. "Who's what?"
Albert lifted his head to meet Spot's fiery eyes, his own gaze coldly calm in an unnerving way.
"Racetrack's dead."
.........
'No. Not real. Stop it. It can't- You aren't-... Why- Stop it. Stop it. Stop it stop it stop it stopitstopitstopitstopitstopitstopitstopitstop-'
"How?" Spot bit out from under his muddled thoughts.
Crutchie sighed. "It's... a long story-"
"He got took ta the Refuge, and he killed himself." Albert stated flatly.
'Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.'
.........
Lantern was listening to the conversation unfold when he felt gentle fingers on his hand.
He looked down at Crutchie's sweet face, big eyes shining with unshed tears. It was beautiful in a sad way. "Lantern, are you okay?"
"This ain't about me." Lantern brushed off the question, kneeling in front of the boy and taking his hand. "Are you okay?"
"Lantern." Crutchie repeated, with just enough force to get him to answer.
Lantern harshly swallowed down the lump in his throat. "I didn't know 'im that well."
"But you knew him." Crutchie's voice broke. "And with Race... that's enough."
Lantern pulled him into a hug. "Charlie..."
Crutchie clutched him tightly, fisting his hands in the back of Lantern's shirt. "I just don't know where this came from."
Albert let out a harsh bark of laughter, drawing all eyes to him.
"Oh don't act like this is 'unexpected' or whatever bullshit you're tryin' ta spread!" He snarled.
Jack spoke up from his spot against the wall. "Al, we couldn't have known-"
"YES, WE COULD'VE!" He yelled over Jack.
Elmer let out a sob and ran up the stairs, Romeo close behind.
"We could've seen this coming," Albert continued, eyes on Crutchie, voice low and harsh, "and we should've."
Crutchie looked down at the floor shamefully, Lantern next to him with his eyes still on Albert.
"We all knew something was wrong. We knew he was lying! And we did nothing." The redhead kept going, tone vicious and aimed at Jack. "We knew those cuts weren't accidents." He glared at Jack with a grieving fury. "And you told us it was fine. You told us he was fine."
Jack pressed himself further into the wall, arms around his middle protectively and eyes stinging with tears.
"This is your fault." Albert spat just as Jack let out a sob. Finch put a hand on Albert's elbow, trying to get him to stop, but Albert just directed his words at Finch instead. "You remember the first time he tried? On the roof?" He wasn't glaring at Finch, just staring intensely, but that might have been worse. "And what did we do once we stopped him from jumping?"
Finch dropped his gaze.
"Nothing." He hissed viciously, finally turning his gaze to the last boy in the room. "We. Did. Nothing."
But Spot Conlon was too lost in his own memories to respond.
'"Alright," Race said, cocky smirk firmly in place, "find the queen."
Spot studied each card carefully, then grabbed Race's wrist, pulling a card from his sleeve.
"Found it."
He couldn't help but smirk at the dumbfounded look on Race's face.
Spot flushed imperceptibly and looked down, where he was still holding Race's wrist, palm up. He was just about to drop it when he noticed several thin scars in neat lines, running from his wrists up past the cuff of his sleeve.
"Race, who did that." The laughter was gone from his voice.
"No one, Spotty," Race said in a very un-Race-like tone, "s'okay."
He ran a thumb gently over the thin scars, feeling Race shiver in his hold. He couldn't see where the scars stopped — if they stopped — so he gently began pushing his sleeve back, revealing another scar. And another. Then another. Then anoth-
"Spot," Race repeated, still in that odd tone, "don't."
Spot's hands were still on Race's arm, holding it almost protectively as his eyes refused to focus on anything other than those thin, little scars.
"Who did that, Racer?"
"Sean," Race tilted Spot's chin up to meet his eyes, "leave it alone. Please."
He never could tell the boy no.
So he left it alone.
He shouldn't have.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop.
When he tuned back into his surroundings, Jack and Albert were yelling.
"JUST SHUT UP, DASILVA! SHUT UP!"
"FUCK YOU, YOU DID THIS!"
Crutchie spoke up gently. "Alb-"
"Shut up!" Albert snapped at him.
The room went silent for approximately too long.
"GET OUT!" Jack bellowed, pointing at the door. "GET THE FUCK OUT AND DON'T YOU EVER COME BACK!"
Albert stumbled backwards, stunned, but his shock was quickly replaced with anger. "FUCK YOU, KELLY, IF YOU THINK THIS MAKES UP FOR WHAT A TERRIBLE FUCKING LEADER YOU'VE BEEN!"
And he bolted.
.........
Finch sat there long enough to realize that no one else was going to go after him — except maybe Crutchie, but Lantern wouldn't allow that on his leg — before he stood up himself and ran for the door, calling Albert's name as he went.
He ran out into the street, turning randomly and hoping, praying he would find him before he did something stupid and-
He couldn't think about things like that. Not now.
"Al! Albert!" He ran straight past Specs, who was leading a confused and worried looking Davey presumably to the lodging house. "DASILVA WHERE ARE YOU?!"
He ran past a couple of alleyways, glancing in each one. Albert couldn't have gotten too far, right? He finally stopped at the mouth of an alley, at the sounds of fists hitting brick.
He entered slowly, on the off chance that it wasn't his friend, but once he got closer, it was clear who it was.
"Al, please come back."
The redhead faltered, then took another swing at the wall.
"Al, please... please... I need you there." He could barely breathe through tears, but he kept talking. "I can't lose you too."
Albert was looking down at his hands, bloody and bruised. "It hurts, Fin... it fucking hurts."
"I know." Finch exhaled shakily and reached for the redhead, pulling them almost against each other. "But please come home."
Albert finally looked at him, fear in his eyes. "Jack's mad."
"He loves you." Finch countered, wrapping his arms around him. "And he doesn't want to lose you either."
Albert finally relaxed, practically melting into Finch's embrace. "I don't wanna lose anyone."
"I know." Finch murmured, running a hand through the boy's hair.
"He's gone." Albert said finally. "Fin... he's really-... he's gone."
Finch tightened his grip on his friend. "I know."
Albert's breath hitched. "I hate this."
Finch looked up, praying to whoever would listen, for something. Anything. "I know."
.........
Jack was not happy when Specs showed up at the lodging house with Davey in tow. Although, no one could actually tell what he was feeling because he had his patented Jack Kelly mask on.
Still, he stared at David for a good ten seconds before turning to Specs.
"Why is he here?"
"Jack-"
"No," Jack pointed at him shakily, "why is he here?"
Specs spoke calmly. "You need him, Jack."
"No," Jack crossed to stand in front of the two, simultaneously lowering his voice, "no, he don't need to be near any of this."
Specs tried again. "Jack-"
"No."
"Jackie, please." Davey said in a calm voice. "It's okay."
Jack looked from Specs to Davey and back again, then he leaned into Davey, wrapping his arms around his torso. Davey held him closely, rubbing his back gently.
"What's going on?" Davey asked, and Jack almost laughed at how politely he'd asked. "What happened?"
No one spoke. Jack just shook his head from where it was buried in Davey's shoulder. Crutchie opened his mouth, closed it, then looked at the floor. Spot had his arms crossed threateningly and was staring pointedly at a spot on the wall. And Specs had already left.
It was Lantern who spoke up, still kneeling beside Crutchie, holding his hand. "Race is dead."
David didn't ask anything else. Didn't say anything else. Just held his friend tightly.
.........
Spot couldn't stand it.
He just couldn't stand there and think anymore.
He had to go.
He had to go.
But... Lantern. His little brother.
He had to say goodbye first.
Spot crossed the room silently, to where Lantern was kneeling next to Crutchie. He really loved that kid. Spot gently tapped the top of Lantern's head, and the boy looked up at him. "You gonna be okay, kid?"
Lantern nodded. Didn't say anything.
"Good." Spot nodded. "I'm gonna go."
He turned to the door.
"Where?" Lantern asked, voice just a little broken. "Brooklyn?"
Had to go.
Spot just kept walking.
"Spot?"
Had to go.
Had to go.