Ariel
"This sucks..." I coughed, and Alex pulled my braid away from my face while rubbing my back as I threw up on the side of the road.
I could hardly remember anything after I had my seventh drink. The last memory was of Maria, one of our teammates, telling me I was being glared at by Sey and Kaidon. I had glanced back a little, and indeed the two of them had their eyes on my back, an eternal frown plastered on their faces.
Are you kidding me? I should have been the one angry with the two of you!
Alex chuckled as he fetched a water bottle from his car and helped me up to my feet.
"You have never really had great tolerance, have you?"
I broke the seal and chugged the water down. I panted as I struggled to catch my breath and then wiped my lips on the back of my forearm.
"I am really grateful to you for getting me out of there. I couldn't live with myself if I let Kaidon see me like this."
"Why is that? You got a thing for him?"
Alex was surprisingly very humble to me. It was a first. He had always been mean in the past, and his odd behaviour got me thinking if I was still too drunk and hallucinating or just daydreaming.
"Not in the least!" I was lying. If his father had been here, he'd have caught my lie. I knew I felt something for Kaidon. Something more than what I could ever feel for Sey. I didn't realise when it started, but I knew I was way past the turning point now.
"I just don't want to give him another reason to go all bonkers on me," I mumbled as I tilted the bottle on my head and let the water dribble down.
"Hey hey hey, what the hell!" Alex grabbed the bottle away and then peeled his jacket off his arms. He held it behind me and asked me to put my hands inside.
"Cut him some slack, Ariel." His voice had an edge of sympathy carved into it. I craned my neck to glance up at him as he eased the creases on the back of the jacket. "I'm sure he'll come around. If there's anyone who can mend his broken heart, it's you."
"Are you asking me to date him?" I gave him an incredulous look as I curved my head all the way back.
"What?" He snapped. "No! Absolutely not! That idiot doesn't deserve you! Nobody deserves you... but I think you can still save him. Put him in his place. Don't let his words get to you. I am- I am not even sure what point I am trying to get across. Perhaps I had too much to drink." He looked away, his arm rubbing the back of his neck. "If he makes you happy, just know I'll be there to help you, and if he hurts you in the slightest, I'll come and kick his ass if you haven't already done that. What I am trying to say is... don't leave his side, please..."
If I had learned anything about this kid in the last five years, it was that he hid his compassion behind a stoic mask. He didn't want to get hurt, so he pushed people away. He was rude, mean, and blunt, but that didn't stop him from running to the aid of the people he cared about.
"You are a good kid, Alex." I gave him a playful pat on the head which earned me his sharp glare as he yelled. "I am not a kid!"
A brief growl from my stomach broke the tender moment. I ran my hand down my face, embarrassed, while Alex chuckled. On the bright side, Kaidon was nowhere around to witness me at my worst.
Why the hell is it so essential for me to know what he thinks!
I had been too occupied with my hangover to notice the onset of dawn and the sound of the morning birds chirping. Alex had driven me to the river bank outside the city, and we threw pebbles onto the surface and watched the ripples diverge. I didn't remember much of what we talked about, but I recalled laughing, and I saw him smiling too. For a moment, I thought he was being nice to me because he needed a favour, but all he had done so far was look after me.
It's strange.
He turned his wrist over and read the time. "It's five already. Do you want to get some breakfast?"
"What healthy food outlet would be open right now?"
"My Dad's kitchen. I wouldn't call it food, but whatever he makes should be healthy. It sure isn't tasty."
"Is that where you learned your culinary arts?"
"Bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh." He made a silly, distorted face at me as he tapped his fingers together against his thumb in the air, making my gut wrench with the laughter that followed. I found tears collecting in the corner of my eyes as I gasped for air while he frowned. He reminded me so much of Griffin. "Do you want it or not? I would be super delighted to leave you behind."
"I am coming!" I hopped back into the car with him, and he took off.
Now that I had sobered up a little, I could enjoy the scenery on the way back. Something still throbbed in the back of my head, but the cool and fresh morning air was enough to make me ignore it. My thoughts wandered off to Kaidon, and as if on cue, my phone lit up with his face.
I got that picture with him on an earlier mission together where I had pretended to be a pregnant woman. I took pictures with him on my phone while we tried to keep an eye on Iredov. Kaidon seemed to have forgotten everything about it, but I kept one of them. It was the only picture he was smiling in. His face was turned to me while I posed to the camera with a victory sign. His lips didn't exactly curl up into a smile, but the gaze he held was a happy one. His eyes were devoid of any scowl, and his face looked relaxed.
Perhaps that was how he had looked at Alice before. Perhaps she was who he saw when looking at me back then.
I still cherished that picture for some reason and added it to his contact name on my phone. I stared at his face for a moment, absentmindedly hearing my ringtone.
"You're not gonna pick it up?" Only when he opened his mouth did I realise I was together with Alex. Kaidon and I hadn't talked since that day- since Sey broke up with me. Even though I moved into his place, we avoided each other. Perhaps I was just feeding myself a lie, but I still believed I was important enough for him to avoid me. That's the thing about being significant in someone's life, for the better or worse. When you don't matter to someone, they won't acknowledge your presence. But when you become a part of someone's life, they'll make every effort to either come to you or run away from you.
We seemed to be doing the latter earlier, but something about this phone call seemed unusual. If I decided to pick up, I couldn't avoid him any longer. The dynamic of our relationship would shift.
I slid my finger on the screen to receive the call and put it to my ear. Neither did he greet me, nor did I open my mouth. The world passed me by, but everything seemed to be blurring. All I could hear was the soft sound of his breathing. I craved listening to his voice. I wanted him to apologise to me. I yearned for him to look in my way again like that.
I needed him. I needed him to take the first step. So I continued my protest in silence.
After a long pause that seemed to stretch out forever, I finally heard him sigh on the line, and I waited.
"Where are you?"
It was five in the morning. The party disbanded like two hours ago. We had the day off later. He'd had as many drinks as I had the night before. There was no reason for him to be awake. Yet, here he was, eyes wide open, asking me about my whereabouts.
"With Alex."
It wasn't an apology. So, I didn't give him more than he asked for.
"When will you be coming back?"
"In a while."
"Ariel."
Even though his tone contained a flicker of warning, it also seemed to be laced with guilt, as if he was pleading with me to meet him half the way while he took the first step.
"He's taking me to his home for breakfast. I'll be back later."
"I see."
Silence hung between us again like a shadow, and when I thought the conversation was done, I decided to hang up. "I guess I'll see you lat-"
"I was worried... about you." He almost blurted those words out, and my tongue froze. Words lost me as I processed what he said. My heart sank at the confession. I wanted him to think about me, comfort me, speak to me. The last five years had been challenging for me. It was like filling up a pot with water that had leaked. I had to start from scratch again. I had no stories to share and no friends to turn to. I relied on Sey like a lifeline, and last week when he let me go, I felt like I was alone all over again.
"I am sorry I have been a shitty friend." It only took those few words to get the tears rolling down my eyes. It must have taken a lot for him to admit that, and it meant the world to me. I knew he cared. He cared about everyone. I knew he wore his heart on his sleeve. I knew it the moment I first laid my eyes upon him. That night, I saw the pain and burden he carried, the fierce way he loved and protected those he cherished.
I wanted to be one of them.
I hated that girl. I hated for her to have the same face as me. I hated for her to have received all his loyalty. I hated that she had died.
I wanted him in whatever form I could get. Even if it meant I was just a replacement.
"Take care, Ariel. Come back whenever you are ready."
As soon as I heard the line go off, I cried. The tears flowed out as his words repeatedly rang in my head. I was being punished for something I had no control over. For having the same face as her. I fought him back tooth and nail when all I ever wanted was for him to see me. He had finally started doing that, and I couldn't help letting the bottled up feelings out.
Over the sound of my sniffles, I heard Alex as he received a call on his earbuds.
"Well, thanks for giving me a crying passenger, douchebag! You deserve a shoe up your ass for making a girl cry!"
It was Kaidon. I couldn't hear what he said, but it must have been something tame because his voice softened as he replied. "I will. You don't need to tell me that."
It felt like I was finally a part of it. I always felt like an outsider among them. They had so much history, so many memories, but they finally accepted me, and the happiness melted my sorrow and seeped out of my eyes.
"You guys are up early. Isn't it the time you usually head to sleep, Alex?"
"Have you got nothing to do early morning besides embarrassing your son before other people?" Alex pushed past his father into the cosy little place they owned a few blocks away from Kaidon's home. It was a two-storey house with a little garden in the backyard. I instantly liked the place.
My head turned back to Uncle Leander, and my eyes inspected the little bunny picture on his apron.
"Ah... that..." I pointed at it, unsure what I was going to say.
"Oh, this, yeah," he mumbled as he pinched down at the fabric, which looked old and worn out. "My kids thought it was funny to have me wear that around the house. They gifted it to me on my birthday."
I could see the bridled sorrow in his eyes as he stole a glance at me, probably reliving the memories of his daughter. I heard that he woke up after a coma, and to have received the news of his daughter's death immediately must have broken the man apart. I held his arm, hoping to use my powers to share some of his pain.
Nothing. I didn't feel anything.
Am I still drunk? I shook my head and stepped away from him, and he smiled.
"It looks... charming," I spoke to fill in the awkward silence.
A throaty laugh escaped his chest as he opened the door wider for me to enter. "You don't have to be diplomatic about it, dear. I know it's ridiculous."
"Dad, you seriously had just one job!" We heard Alex growl inside the house from where I assumed was the kitchen.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Uncle Leander stomped back inside.
That's one for the swear jar.
Hmm? What was that?
It was my first time inside the house. My eyes surveyed the living room and fell upon a picture on the coffee table. I bent down to get a closer look. It was a beautiful woman with chestnut-coloured hair and eyes the colour of sapphires. I figured she was aunt Lilian. I could see the similarities she shared with my father. He never talked about her, but mom did. She didn't belong to our world. She was an orphan, and Dad rescued her in one of his missions when he worked as an independent agent for The Order. It was love at first sight for them. Grandfather had been against it, but aunt Lillian took her brother's side. She said she foresaw a happy future for the Fords, which was how they ended up together without a hitch. Mom really loved her like a sister.
It made me remember the last thing she told me about her, that she fell in love with a Cross.
I wonder what happened?
I walked to the kitchen and noticed father and son bickering near the breakfast island.
"How can you struggle to make green tea, Dad? Just how?"
"You think you could have done a better job?"
"You just had to put the fucking tea bag in a cup and pour hot water into it! Not tear it off and empty the contents!"
Uncle waved him off as he beckoned me to his side to take a seat. The table was laid with different kinds of spreads, sauces, a bowl of hard-boiled eggs and a plate full of toasts, and I picked up one and nibbled on it.
"Dad tried making you some green tea for the hangover." Alex placed a sizzling cup of tea on my side. I noticed the tea leaves settled on the bottom and chuckled.
As I sipped my beverage, I watched Alex from behind the rim of the cup. He stood tall, almost matching his father's height. While their daughter had been the mother's spitting image, Alex inherited most of his father's features. They both carried the same size and frame, the same black hair colour and eyes as dark as night. They even shared a mole at the same place on their faces, right under their left eyes.
Alex applied some butter to his toast and poured some sauce into it. I had to do a double-take when I saw him open the lid to the peanut butter container and unwrap a slice of cheese. He plastered them both onto his toast and then spread some jam and squeezed some mayonnaise on top of it, and I felt my insides gagging because I could already feel the taste of that shit on my mouth.
He finally covered it with another toast, and I couldn't help asking, "Please tell me you are not going to eat that!"
He froze in the middle of taking a bite of his sandwich and shot me a questioning look. Uncle Leander peeked back and then slammed his hand at the back of Alex's head, making him jerk forward, his sandwich falling on his plate.
"What the hell, Dad!"
"Can't you eat like a normal person?"
"What's the harm in eating like that? I get all the nutrition in a single bite!"
"And it makes all the other people in the room vomit!"
"Well, it's still better than this crazy woman here who downed drinks past her limit and then puked on the side of the road!" He pointed at me, making me blink twice. Uncle Leander tilted his face in my direction, his eyebrow raised as if asking for confirmation.
"Woah woah woah, hold on! Could you not turn this around on me? I thought this was about him and his disgusting dining habits!"
"Well, young lady, did you?"
What the fuck, you little snitch! Did he just bring me in here to make himself look better before his dad?
I shot a menacing look in Alex's direction, who already had a smug smile spread across his lips. He stuck his tongue out at me as he picked up his sandwich, and I snapped, "He drank with us even though he isn't twenty-one yet! And he drove his car after that!"
Alex lowered his sandwich and made a run for the stairs before I could complete my statement. Multiple emotions flashed across uncle Leander's face before they contorted into a furious one. I heard a door on the floor above bang close as uncle yelled, "Alexander Leander Reed! You are due for an ass whooping session!"
I heard the retreating sound of his footsteps as he hurried over the stairs while I laughed, content with having turned it on him. I took another bite of my toast and heard an alarm on my phone. I picked it up and looked closer, and my eyes widened in horror. I sprinted out the door as I yelled over my shoulder. "I gotta go, Uncle Leander! Our house is on fire!"
I didn't wait for an answer as I ran out on the street towards Kaidon's place. He got me to install an app on my phone that would send us a notification if a fire was detected in the house. I had talked to him about an hour ago, so I was hoping it wasn't anything serious, but I couldn't take a risk. I couldn't live with it if something happened to him while I waited. If there was anything I learned over the last few years about my powers, it was that regret was the strongest and the most painful emotion of all. Worse than even fear and anger, and I didn't want it to become a part of me for the rest of my life.
I panted as I pulled up his number from my contact list and called. When he didn't answer, my mind wandered into the dark as I imagined the worst. I pulled up the emergency services contact as I huffed and turned the corner, expecting to see the house up in flames and a frightened crowd around, but the street ahead was empty, and the building looked normal. My feet sprang to the entrance, and I used my key to unlock it, my hands trembling. I barged inside as soon as it opened, only to be greeted by a heavy smokey smell. I coughed and waved the air away from my nose.
"It's nothing. It's under control." I followed his voice to the kitchen and noticed him cleaning the stove's edge.
"What the hell, Kaidon?" I yelled, barely catching my breath, my eyes almost glistening with tears.
"I kind of thought I'd make us breakfast today."
"So you decided to burn the house down for firewood!?" I couldn't keep the sarcasm off my voice. My fingers gripped the roots of my hair in disbelief.
"I figured you probably wouldn't get anything edible at Alex's place."
"And you thought you could do a better job?!"
That made him shrug. "Fair point."
When the adrenaline finally wore off, I felt my knees weaken, and I sank down to the floor. Kaidon jumped to my aid, dropping some utensils on his way and held my hand.
"You okay?"
"You just scared the hell out of me!"
He looked away, and I noticed the tiny dark circles under his eyes. He probably didn't sleep a wink last night.
"Don't you dare step back inside my kitchen again." I glared at him to get my point across.
"Your kitchen...?"
"Yes! Mine! You renounced the rights to call it yours when you tried to cook in here unsupervised."
"Yes, ma'am." He crouched before me, a smile tugging on his lips, but his eyes filled with grief. "Can we be friends again?"
Friendship was an understatement to what I had started feeling for him already. I wanted more. I wanted to be his one person. I wanted to heal that heart. I wanted to make him forget about her, even if it started with him living his memory with me. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. Friendship would be my first.
"Yes."
Or so I thought. I woke up the next day, hoping to make a dent into his armour but instead, I found one in mine, quite literally.
I watched the reflection of the red dot of laser light on his back as the subway sped past me at high speed. I didn't have time to think or alarm the team. My heart raced as I jerked my body ahead on instinct, hoping to push myself into the line of that light before the bullet was fired. It would happen any moment, and I braced myself for it.
The bullet pierced my back, sending a shudder down my spine. A deafening scream fell on my ears, and I watched Kaidon turn around, his eyes wide with horror. He lunged forward just in time to grab me. I felt the soft fabric of his shirt as my face met with his chest, and the distinct scent he carried entered my nose. I wanted to feel it for a few more minutes, to engrave it into my memory, but my mind wasn't cooperating. It didn't hurt anymore, and I felt the urge to sleep. Relief surged through me; I was glad he was safe. I didn't care what happened to me. I didn't care if I was just a substitute to him. I wouldn't mind turning into foam if, for just one moment, he would look at me, only me.
This was my moment of realisation, my act of true love. When you are on the precipice of death, you see the face of the people who matter the most, you see the truth. I saw him. I loved him.
I wanted to tell him that, before I never got a chance to, but my voice failed me.
I closed my eyes as darkness covered my vision.
"Ariel! Ariel, wake up!"