Loosely inspired by Community S2E15: "Early 21st Century Romanticism." Most of this plot is original and based on common tropes.
Percy POV
They say you should know better than to make a deal with the devil, but some devils live among us in disguise.
One devil, in particular, goes by the alias Sherman Yang, and he never forgets the score, even when the first point was scored all the way back in August.
It's February now, and just when Percy least expects it, Sherman corners him in the men's bathroom and reminds him of this favor that Percy owes him.
"Remember my hot tub party?" he says.
Percy remembers the hot tub party. How could he forget? That night was magical.
And Percy supposes that it was nice of Sherman to end his hot tub party the way he did, so he hears him out.
A couple of days later, it's Super Bowl Sunday, and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are playing the Kansas City Chiefs. Percy's never really been into watching football games, but he appreciates the culture. There's this exhilarating feeling that comes with watching your favorite team score a touchdown alongside friends. Plus, the snacks are great, and Sherman says he'll provide plenty.
Is Percy actually going to watch the Super Bowl with friends? It's hard to say. He and Sherman aren't exactly close. Sherman's the event planner for the Mars coed fraternity, and Percy's always made a point to steer clear of Greek life because where there are frat boys, someone always gets hurt. God, he can't have some Title IX incident happening in his apartment. Hopefully, Sherman understands that this is for him and Percy only. Sherman's actually into football, so the best-case scenario is Sherman sitting and watching the game quietly on the 30-inch television Percy won in a raffle.
But that would be too easy. No, Sherman likes to make things difficult. Of course, he would invite someone to watch the game with him.
"Hey, Sherman," Percy greets. "Hey... Will..."
Since when did Will Solace get into football? Percy doesn't want to assume things about him just because he's into guys.
Percy assumes things about Will because Percy's into guys.
Surprised?
Percy thinks the idea of coming out is stupid, so he never did it. He just cracks a ton of jokes and enters every conversation like everyone knows he's bi, which is a lot easier than coming out to every single person he meets.
"Hey there, Jackson," says Sherman. "Hope you don't mind I brought Solace here along. I saw him wandering outside the fraternity house, just aching to go to a party. Weren't you, buddy?"
Will crinkles his nose to keep his mask from falling. "I, uh-"
"That's the spirit!" says Sherman. "You got the pregame set up, or should I log into my ESPN+ account?" Sherman barges in and sets his grocery bags down on Percy's folding table. Then, he picks the remote up off the coffee table and starts pushing buttons. "You don't mind if I sit here, do you?" he asks, taking a seat in Percy's favorite chair.
Percy's a good host. "Not at all."
"Where should I put the bean dip?" Will asks.
"Put the bean dip on the table so we can eat while we watch. You boys are gonna love my famous bean dip!" Sherman roars.
Will pulls a bag of tortilla chips out of one of the Safeway bags.
"Oh, wow, you guys got the kind shaped like little bowls," Percy comments. "You're not messing around."
"Do you have a bowl I can pour these into?" Will asks.
Maybe having Will around will be helpful. He seems to have some common sense.
Percy finds a bowl in his cabinet and passes it to Will.
"Thanks for letting me come," says Will. "There wasn't much going on tonight on campus, and the frat house isn't even having a Super Bowl party."
"Happy to fill your Sunday," says Percy.
There's another knock on Percy's door.
"I'll get it!" says Will.
Percy doesn't remember ordering a package or anything. "Wait, it's probably one of those Comcast people again-"
"Hey, guys!" Will says, but Sherman's fraternity brothers and sisters ignore him, pushing past to get a look at the big game.
Everyone's here now. How did this happen? It was supposed to be a small favor to Sherman, not a fraternity party!
Percy looks over to Sherman on the couch. As he's giving Mark a bro-hug, he makes eye contact with Percy. I don't know, man! he mouths.
Not sure if he trusts that or not, Percy takes everyone's coats to his bedroom because that's just what a nice host does.
When he comes out, Will Solace is using his oven. "I was hoping to learn more about how football works tonight, but I suppose heating Sherman's buffalo dip isn't so bad."
"Sherman made buffalo dip too?" Percy asks.
"He also made guacamole and fresh salsa."
"Do we have enough tortilla chips?"
Will gestures to the bags on the counter. "Dude, these are all tortilla chips."
Percy opens the bags for himself. "You mean he didn't even bring Doritos or regular potato chips?"
"Oh, wait!" says Will. He opens Percy's refrigerator. "Sherman made his famous Dunk-A-Roo dip for dessert, and he brought animal crackers and 'Nilla Wafers for it!"
"Sherman made his what?"
"Woo!" shouts Clarisse. "Touchdown Bucks!"
"Let's go, Brady!" Ellis Wakefield chimes in.
That's it. "Let me see if I can get some of my friends from my study group to come over," says Percy. "That way, we won't feel so outnumbered. Go ahead and text Nico if you want."
Will tugs his mask back over his nose and takes the buffalo dip out of the oven. "I don't think so... but you can text your friends."
Percy raises an eyebrow but chooses not to press. College relationships are a lot harder than he thought they'd be, and it sounds like things might not be any easier for Will.
Having a little Super Bowl party at my place. Wanna come over? Percy texts Hazel.
The texting bubble appears and disappears a few times. At last, a text from Hazel comes in: no. i'm still mad.
Percy groans in exasperation. "Hazel's still mad at me because I said the Barenaked Ladies were just okay. I didn't even say I hated them! I don't hate them. I just think their music is okay."
Will taste-tests the buffalo dip. "They're really good, Percy. You shouldn't have said that." Then, he smirks. "Couldn't help myself."
"You're funny."
"Am I? Or am I just bi?"
Percy shrugs. "Speaking from personal experience, I think those traits might be mutually exclusive."
Will chuckles. "Are you going to teach me football now or what?"
"Yeah, why don't you tell me what you know so far, and we can go from there."
"OH, YEAH!" CRASH!
"Shit, La Rue, look what you did!" Mark yells.
"What I did? This is all your fault, dumbass!" Clarisse shouts back.
On the floor in pieces lies Percy's lamp. It's not the best lamp; he bought it at the Salvation Army and managed to fix it up with a few new electrical parts from the Home Depot and some help from Leo. It still shocks him on occasion, but it works.
Well, not anymore.
"Tell Percy you're sorry!" Ellis yells.
"I said I didn't do it!"
Ellis turns to Percy. "How about some pizza and beer? On us."
"Oh, you don't have to," says Percy. "I don't drink."
"I do!" says Will.
"Good thing I have Dominos in my contacts!" Ellis picks up his phone. "Yeah, can I get like, eight large pizzas... half with cheese, two with pepperoni, one with bacon, and one vegan... uh-huh..."
"How is he going to pay for all of this?" Percy asks Sherman.
Sherman, who hasn't moved from the recliner this entire time, says, "Ellis is our fraternity chapter's treasurer. He has access to our budget."
"Is the budget that big?" Will asks.
"Our budget is bigger than the men's and women's basketball team's budgets combined."
"That explains why they never make it to playoffs," Percy notes.
"Yeah, why don't you throw in some garlic parm wings, hot wings, barbecue wings... Oh, what the hell? Let's do the crazy bread. Oh, cheesy bread. My bad. Yeah, that's it. Hang on." Ellis hands the phone to Percy. "Can you tell them the address?"
Percy figures that since the Mars fraternity budget is buying him dinner, the least he can do is provide the address.
"Let's go! Another touchdown!" Clarisse yells.
"Hell yeah, Brady!" says Mark.
Will leans in close so Percy can hear his question over the commotion. "I thought the touchdown was seven points!"
"It's six!" Percy yells back. "The Bucks can go for a field goal now to score the seventh point."
Will nods. "That makes sense!"
Sherman holds a bowl out to Percy and Will. "Guacamole?" His mask shifts up and down as he chews. You know, this had the potential to turn into a super-spreader event. Percy's genuinely impressed that everyone's being a good sport about wearing their masks in his apartment... even if they do put their feet on his coffee table and break his lamp.
There's a hard knock on the door.
"Pizza or beer?" Mark shouts. "Guys, call it! Pizza or beer?"
Nobody left. Who could have possibly made a beer run?
"Beer!" Clarisse calls.
"Pizza!" says Will. "God, I hope it's pizza."
Clarisse opens the door. "It's both! Oh, hell yeah! It's not a party without Magnus!"
"Who the hell is Magnus?" Percy asks.
In comes a shaggy-haired guy whom Percy's never seen before, carrying a case of Natural Light in each hand. "Pop! Pop!" he yells.
"We intercepted the Domino's guy on the way here," says a redhead girl who Percy almost mistakes for Rachel Elizabeth Dare, the girl he thought he dated, but turned out to be aro-ace.
"Hope you don't mind—I ate a couple of wings!" a person with green hair and a matching sweater vest says. "Alex Fierro. He/him for the time being. Lovely place you've got." He holds out his hand for a fist bump. Percy and Will oblige.
The eight pizzas magically float over to the kitchen counter—oh, wait—the pizzas are just stacked so high that Percy couldn't see the girl underneath them. She adjusts her hijab and cracks open a can of Coke. "Have at it. I'll wait in the car."
"Ugh! You're no fun, Samirah!" groans a massive dude with a beard. He's wearing a t-shirt that says 'VALHALLA FOOTBALL.' Oh, so these people are from Valhalla, the local private college. It's not that far from New Rome Community College, but Percy rarely ever hears anything about their school, except that it's known for its massive blowout parties.
Sherman stands up at last. "Normally, I'd beat the shit out of another quarterback, but you Einherjar aren't in our division this year. Consider yourself lucky, Gunderson."
The Vahalla student—whom Percy guesses is Gunderson—lets out a low chuckle and eats a hot wing.
"Pop! Pop!" says Magnus. Gross, he's eating Sherman's guacamole out of the bowl with a spoon.
The size of Percy's Super Bowl party has only doubled, but it might as well have tripled because now everyone's drinking and acting completely stupid.
"Oh, Percy—hic!—I thought I lost you!" Will says, wrapping Percy in a hug. He's soft. He's so soft and fuzzy-
"Is that my robe?" Percy asks.
Will shakes his head out, hair still wet from the shower. "So super comfy."
"Will, you're drunk."
"You're not drunk enough!"
"I don't drink!"
"Woo!" shouts Ellis. "Another touchdown!" he waves his pizza slice around.
"Pop! Pop!" Magnus shouts. Does he say anything else? Oh, shoot. Was he drunk when he got here? Because he's drinking now...
"Your hair is so soft..." Will says, picking at Percy's hair like some sort of parrot.
"Will, we have to slow this party down. People are going to get hurt!"
"Shh..." Will presses a soft finger to Percy's masked mouth. "I still don't know what a 'down' is."
Percy sighs. "C'mon." He helps Will to the couch where Magnus is locking lips with Alex.
"Hey!" Alex shouts.
"C'mon, man, none of that in here."
Alex and Magnus go back to Percy's kitchen.
Will and Percy take their spot on the couch and eat pepperoni pizza while they wait for the game to come back on.
"Ha!" Will laughs shortly. "I had no idea commercials could be so funny!"
"Yeah," says Percy. "That's how Super Bowl commercials are."
"You mean they're funnier during the game?"
"Will, have you never watched a Super Bowl game before?"
"No."
Ah. That makes a lot of sense. "Some of the commercials have multiple parts," Percy adds.
"What? That's crazy... oops!" Will's cell phone falls out of Percy's robe pocket, so Percy picks it up for him.
He can't help but notice all of the text messages he's ignoring.
"You should probably follow up with Nico," Percy says. "You've got a lot of texts from him."
"He's been trying to ask me on another date since Chuck E. Cheese on Friday," Will says. "I didn't even realize it was supposed to be a date..."
"Oh," says Percy because he doesn't really know how to react to that sort of thing. "Do you want to go on another date with Nico?"
"I've never been on a date before," Will says.
"But you were just on one with Nico. At Chuck E. Cheese."
"That's different."
Percy guesses Will might be right about that. After all, he didn't have the pressure of knowing that it was supposed to be a date.
So that's what Percy tells him. "Just be the same way you were at Chuck E. Cheese."
Will groans. "But I've never done the relationship thing before! Am I supposed to hold his hand or something? God, what if he tries to kiss me? Percy, how do I kiss a boy?"
Percy's only ever dated girls before. He doesn't know the answer to that question, but for Will's sake, he bluffs. "Just be yourself. I mean, he thought Chuck E. Cheese was a date, so you guys must have good chemistry."
"You know what? You're right." Will unlocks his phone and starts typing.
"Woo! Bucks win!" one of the Valhalla guys shouts.
"T.J.! Watch what you're doing!" But the redheaded Valhalla girl's efforts are useless. T.J. pumps his fist in the air and spills his Natural Light all over Percy's robe.
Will wipes his sticky hands on the dry parts of the robe. "I guess I'd better clean up..." he slurs.
"Do you need help?" Percy asks because when your friends are drunk, you can't let them be entirely responsible for themselves.
Percy wants to follow after Will despite his refusal, but the commotion from the end of the game is just intense. Strangers are hugging him. Magnus is running around the room shouting "Pop! Pop!" Sherman finishes off his famous fresh salsa. It's absolutely chaotic. If Percy had a chandelier, there's no doubt in his mind that people would be swinging from it.
Mark hooks his phone up to Percy's BlueTooth speaker and starts playing "Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd.
"Will?" Percy shouts. "Where'd you go, buddy?"
"Sin City's cold and empty!" The Mars frat starts to sing.
"C'mon Percy!" Clarisse grabs Percy's wrists and spins him around. She must be super drunk because no way under normal circumstances would she be caught dancing with him.
Percy shrugs. Will's probably fine. If anyone knows anything about responsible drinking, it's gotta be the fraternity brothers and sisters, right?
"No, I can't sleep until I feel your touch!" Percy sings along with Clarisse.
"Percy!" Sherman says. "Percy, you've got to listen to what, uh, what's your name again sweetheart?"
"That's Samirah to you, Frat Boy," the Valhalla girl with the green hijab says.
"Cool. Hi, Samirah. Thanks for being a designated driver," Percy says. He certainly admires someone else who avoids alcohol. It's rare to see.
Samirah twists Sherman's wrist when he tries to snake it around her waist. He cries out in pain and Percy wonders if she just broke his bone. She looks like someone who probably could do that.
"Listen to me!" Samirah says. "The cops are pulling up outside! I think one of your neighbors filed a noise complaint. We've got to shut down this party. Now."
Percy's seen enough college movies to know how to shut down a blowout party. He pulls out a chair and stands on top of it. "There are cops outside!" he yells with his hands cupped around his mouth. Quickly, he pulls his mask back up over his face and opens the front door so that the party animals can make their grand escape.
"Everyone," Sherman commands, "down the trash chute!"
Dozens of fraternity brothers and sisters take turns nose-diving down the trash chute across the hall from Percy's apartment. It must be stinky, but it's better than being caught by the police.
Sherman gathers up his bowls: the glass one that used to contain buffalo dip, the plastic guacamole bowl that Magnus polished off, the bean dip bowl, and the salsa bowl. "Keep the leftover tortilla chips," he says. "Great party, Jackson."
"You know you owe me, right?" Percy asks.
"Anytime, brother."
"I'm not-"
Sherman balances the bowls on one arm and pats Percy's shoulder with his other hand. "Normally, you'd have to go through an initiation that involves sticking someone's head in a toilet and catching a pig... and of course, there's the part where we kidnap you out of your apartment and make you say the pledge with your head in a toilet... but what the hell? You're an honorary brother, Percy."
"You owe me more than that," Percy says.
"Oh, sure." Sherman helps Samirah usher the drunk Valhalla students out of Percy's apartment and down the trash chute.
"Good night!" Percy calls before closing his door.
Normally, he wouldn't lock the door so soon after sending off company; you can hear it from outside and it's sort of... well... rude, he supposes, but after everything that went down tonight, he decides it's better to ensure nothing else remotely crazy happens.
Percy turns around and faces his apartment. It's like a tornado ran through it, but nothing he'll have to pay the landlord for is damaged, so that's good at least.
He'll deal with this tomorrow. For now, Percy just wants to take a seat in his favorite recliner and watch the new episode of WandaVision-
"Sherman forgot his famous Dunk-A-Roo dip," Will Solace says from the recliner. He seems to be making somewhat of a recovery; he's more lethargic now, and he's wearing his own clothes again, so at least he'll be easier to deal with.
Percy sits down on the couch across from him, deciding if it's worth calling him an Uber, or if he should just let him crash tonight.
Will doesn't seem to notice the scrutiny he's under. "It's really good. You should try some." He dips an animal cracker into the Cool-Whip container and scoops up so much of Sherman's sugary concoction that he might as well be using a spoon.
That means it must be good, right?
Percy grabs an animal cracker—really? They make owl animal crackers?—and dips it into the bowl.
"It's good," he notes. "How about you, man? Are you going home?"
"I should call a ride." Will gets up and goes to the kitchen. He opens Percy's dishwasher and retrieves his phone.
A soapy smell takes over the room. "Woah!" Percy shouts. "Did you run my dishwasher with your phone in it?"
"I was washing your robe, and I guess I left my phone in the pocket. Oh, it doesn't work." Will looks up at Percy with bloodshot eyes.
Percy sighs. Sometimes, being the sober friend sucks. "Use mine." He unlocks his phone and passes it to Will.
Will takes the phone and goes into the bathroom. Percy can't help but eavesdrop when he hears, "Nico? It's me. Listen, I'm so sorry I ghosted you, and we can talk about that later, but right now I'm in a bit of a pickle..."
Of course, Will Solace is the kind of guy who would say he's in a pickle.
Percy just chuckles to himself and dips another owl-shaped cracker in the Dunk-A-Roo dip.
Its sugary sweetness is almost overpowering, but that's okay because the animal cracker balances it out.