"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved." George MacDonald
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XII.
Jem still could not quite believe that Cressie had agreed to accompany him on this most foolish outing. No matter the fun, or the hope it gave him, she was still a lady and she was with a man unchaperoned.
That was where the hope was coming from. She had come with him. Surely Jem could not be imagining the way her brown eyes were looking at him. Did she feel what he did? Could she sense this burgeoning attachment between them? It felt like a string that was hardening with every passing moment, turning from cotton to an unbreakable steel.
The carriage had brought them to Bushy Park, near Hampton Court Palace, namely to visit the remarkable fountain that was situated in the gardens. Being new to London himself, Jem had not known about this place until he had made some subtle inquiries.
By the look on Cressie's face, it was well worth the risk.
Jem jumped down from the hackney first, before helping Cressie out into the beautiful afternoon sun. He once again paid the driver to wait for them as Cressie took his offered arm to venture further into the park.
They were some ten or so miles from the centre of London. The park was certainly populated on a beautiful day like this, but not by the folk frequenting London for the Season. They rarely ventured beyond Mayfair. There were plenty of couples walking, as well as families with their children, and Jem felt as though he and Cressie were one of them.
Nobody knew them, and so nobody looked at them.
The park was a wide expanse of lawns and mature trees, sheltering the masses in shade with their full summer canopies. The gravel path crackled underfoot as they walked.
"I much prefer this park to Hyde Park," Cressie confessed. "Hyde Park is beautiful, but the eyes ..."
"I know exactly what you mean," Jem replied. Of course, he had not been subject to the stares, but his sister had, and he had seen how uneasy it had made her. He couldn't imagine what the stares and gossip would be like for a debutante like Cressie.
The moment Jem heard a drop in Cressie's tone, he knew that he needed to do something. It had been his idea already, but now was the time. He dropped Cressie arm only for a moment before collecting her hand in his. This surprised her, and she looked up at him with confusion and anticipating in her eyes, a small smile of excitement teasing at the corner of her lips.
"We do not promenade, remember?" Jem flashed her a devilish grin before he took off in another run, pulling Cressie along behind him. Jem ran as quickly as he could, feeling his boots kicking up the gravel behind him.
Cressie sprinted alongside him, using her free hand to hold onto her bonnet and their entwined hands swung in between them. For someone so considerably shorter than he was, she was a remarkable runner, and she kept up with a gleeful smile on her face.
Jem had spied it when he heard her laugh with delight. Looking to her, he saw her brown eyes were wide with delight, her smile so big it touched her eyes, and those beautiful dimples were nestled deeply in her cheeks. She was beauty's definition.
Returning his focus forward, Jem continued to run as the Diana Fountain came into full focus. Situated in the very centre of a great expanse of lawn, the enormous fountain was a serene and hypnotising finish line. The golden nymph that stood in the centre almost beckoned them. Jem slowed down as they approached the edge of the water, and Cressie nearly stumbled herself. Jem instinctively caught her, his hands releasing hers to grab a hold of her waist before he realised that holding her hand was scandalous enough.
But Cressie didn't seem to mind, and the very fact that she did not appear affronted by the contact only encouraged Jem's hope that he was not alone in his feelings.
The sounds of the fountain were so peaceful, and Cressie looked over it with awe, her cheeks red from the run. Jem was certain his own appeared the same.
"It is not the seaside, I know."
Cressie suddenly looked up at him, her brows furrowed. "What?"
"You told me that you always longed to swim in the sea," Jem recalled. "The Diana Fountain is not the seaside, but it is better than the Thames."
Had Jem wanted to give them both cholera, then he would have taken her on a swimming trip in the Thames, but that did not seem very romantic.
Cressie still looked utterly confused, and it only increased the thrill that Jem felt travelling down his spine. He grinned. Perhaps it was mad. Perhaps she wouldn't like it. But something inside of him was telling him that this was the right thing to do. This was fun. This was silly. And Cressie was someone who longed for fun.
They would certainly be looked at now, but they were still lucky that nobody knew them.
"Won't you swim with me, Cressie?" he asked in an almost taunting tone, abandoning her side so that he could step into the fountain. The moment he did, he felt the water fill his boots and soak his socks and the bottoms of his breeches. It would have been horrid had the look on Cressie's face not been so amusing.
She was staring at him in utter shock as he waded into the fountain, more and more of his ensemble becoming saturated by the second.
"What are you doing?" Cressie hissed yet yelled. "Have you gone mad?"
Jem let out a laugh as he held his arms out to her. "We've all got to make a little time for madness."
Cressie's smile was one of disbelief and wonder. And it was beautiful. "Your spirit is something else entirely, Jem Denham," she remarked, before she shook her head and bent over to lift up her petticoats to her calves.
With first her left, and then her right foot, Cressie stepped into the fountain, her mouth forming an 'o' shape when the cold water began to soak through her stockings and shoes.
And then she laughed as she released her skirts, letting them drop down into the water with a shrug of her shoulders.
Over Cressie's shoulders, for the briefest of moments, Jem could see that passers-by had begun to stop and stare and question as to what these two fools were doing. But Jem could not convince himself to care at all. His vision quickly refocused to Cressie, and Cressie only.
Cressie's laugh was musical and joyous as she began to wade through the fountain towards him. Jem could visibly see her shoulders relax and a considerable weight lift off of them. In looking upon her now, Jem did not think that he had ever seen her without that unknown burden. She looked young and happy and free.
Just as Cressie reached him, as she took her final step before she would be before him, her foot caught in the water laden hems of her dress. Her laugh vanished momentarily as she lost her footing, and she stumbled forwards. In a panic, she reached out for whatever was nearest her, and that happened to be Jem. Jem could not do anything but be pulled down into the shallow water of the fountain with Cressie, and before either of them knew it, they were soaked up to their necks in the cold water of the fountain.
They both held onto each other, staring at one another in surprise at what had just happened, and quite in shock at the fact that they were soaking wet.
Jem felt Cressie's fingers tightening on his forearm as they both managed to stand up on their knees in the fountain, his eyes unwittingly dropping to follow a stray water droplet as it travelled across her collarbone. When he met her gaze once more, Cressie's pursed lips were smirking, and she cracked. What erupted from her was the most amusing snort of laughter, and it made him break, too.
Jem managed to climb back to his feet, and he helped Cressie to stand as well. She soon reached for the ribbon underneath her chin, and she pulled at it to remove her bonnet. The water had dampened the curls at the nape of her neck. Her dress was soaked through, but she was wearing layers enough that she did not appear indecent, only slightly ridiculous.
But no more ridiculous than he.
As her arms dropped to her sides, Cressie remarked, "This is the best birthday I have ever had. Thank you."
Jem beamed a triumphant grin as he saw the truth of Cressie's words in her eyes. And in that moment, he wanted nothing more than to take her to the seaside to experience the ocean for real. What he would give to see that look of pure and utter joy on her face once more.
This precious being in front of him deserved to feel true happiness every day.
After departing the fountain, they both found a sunny yet slightly secluded spot on the lawns in the park to sit and dry. They had a tranquil view of the gardens, a perfect spot to watch the world go by.
"This is the greatest day of my life, I think." Cressie's voice was soft and decided beside him. She then stretched out her legs in front of her and fanned her skirt as much as she could to allow the sun to dry her, as though she was suddenly trying to avoid her confession.
Jem sensed a sudden sadness in her, and it seemed peculiar owing to her positive confession. "What is it?" he prompted gently.
Cressie's hands paused on her skirt as she took a breath. "I haven't had many days like this. Any days like this," she corrected herself. "My ... my father's actions made many things impossible for my mother and me. There was never any money and we never could ... I never could ... oh, that sounds terrible." Her final comment sounded as though she were chastising herself for thinking something.
Jem leaned closer. "Cressie, tell me," he urged.
Cressie pursed her lips together guiltily as her brown eyes flicked to his. "I feel like my childhood was stolen from me."
The moment the words escaped her mouth, Jem could see how Cressie felt terrible for thinking them. But she needn't. "You seem to punish yourself for having self-regarding feelings," Jem observed sympathetically. "It is not a sin to care about yourself and the weep for the wrongs that have been done to you. Or to mourn for what you have lost."
Cressie sat with his words for several minutes. She breathed evenly as she thought, and what Jem would have done to have known those thoughts. "I do mourn," she whispered. "I mourn for the years I should still have in the shorter dresses of youth. I hate that my father's choices have taken away my own. I hate that I have to be taken away." Cressie's voice shook. "I am terrified of being taken away from my mama to a place belonging to a keeper I do not even remotely like."
There it was. There was Cressie's reason for being in London. Or rather, there was Mrs Martin's reason for being in London. Though, her reason was not so different from the dozens and dozens of other debutantes around. They had indeed fallen upon hard times through no fault of their own, and Mrs Martin needed Cressie to be married to alleviate that burden.
It was as clear as anything that Cressie felt trapped. She had no say in the matter. She was a victim of both her parents.
Her blackguard debaucher of a father had abandoned his responsibility of a wife and child, and her mother was using her to solve their problems stemming from this fiasco of a union.
Jem's mind was racing, but he forced himself to focus on one key point that Cressie had expressed. She was terrified of being taken away by a man she didn't like. If marriage were inevitable, would it be possible to quell some of her fears if she managed to find a man that she did, in fact, like?
Jem wanted to save her, to take her away from the pressure and burden of both Mr and Mrs Martin. He wanted to take her to the seaside and run through gardens and make her laugh and show her the fun that he had had in his own unburdened youth.
Jem felt the words coming up his throat before he knew what was happening. But he caught them before it escaped his mouth again this time. He would not panic propose again, not unless he was certain that she would accept.
Instead, he managed to say, "I would have you find a partner, and not a keeper."
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My boy really wanted to panic propose again but I managed to stop him before he wrecked the moment. Jem really needs to thank me for giving him some semblance of game hahahaha
I hope you enjoyed it!
Prepare for sh*t to hit the fan in 3 ..... 2 ..... 1 ;)
Sorry for the random time - I don't normally upload on Sunday nights, but I'd half written this when I woke up and I've finished it now. I'd better get to sleep as I've got kiddos to coherently educate tomorrow lol
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