14 May 2018
Dear My Beloved Wife,
How have you been on the other side? I hope you're not feeling as bad as I am. It has been around two years after you left. These two years...it took me these two years to stand up again after you left me. I know you will be angry at me when I took this long to rise again. But, please don't be too mad. It took a lot of me to face the reality that you'd passed away in my arms.
As you know, this is actually my first time writing a diary. I don't know what to write, so I'll just pen off here for now. I'll tell you another story next time. I love you my dear. I'll write to you again soon.
30 June 2018
My Ever Beautiful Wife,
Forgive me that it took me almost two months to write to you again. I'm sorry. I had realized how hard my life actually is without you. When you're here, I never really noticed it. Due to this, I felt extremely grateful and guilty as I left you with so much work to be done at home. Cooking, laundry, and all other things. I should have paid more attention to how hard you had worked yourself for me. Furthermore, you still took care of my wellbeing even though you were tired yourself.
I don't know if this is a good news or not, but I found another work which did not require much of my time. Instead, the pay would be less. However, I think it would be good...though I regret that it took me this long to change my job. If I take this kind of job earlier, we would have been able to spend more time together, just like how you always wish for....
Sorry, I made the mood worse right. Usually, you'd be here, raising the mood up just by smiling and commenting. But now, the lost of your presence really hit me hard...
I'm sorry to end this off with a gloomy atmosphere, but I don't think I'll be able to continue writing. I'll see you next time, my dear. I love you.
15 July 2018
My Dearly Beloved Wife,
How are you? This time, it did not take me long to write to you since I had an interesting story to tell you. Well, it might be awkward and strange but, I have a child. Adopted of course. If I had to explain it simply, there was this old orphanage which happened to be closing. All the other children had been adopted and only one was left. I happened to pass by and found someone begging a person to adopt the girl. Things happened and I adopted her.
Her name is Lylia. Since I adopted her, Her full name is now Lylia Harzak. She's 3 years old now. She can say something simple, though a bit garbled sometimes. It had been around 3 days since I took her in. Hectic and chaotic, you can say that it was like that. I had no experience taking care of a little child. Therefore, everything was a new experience to me.
Talking about children....
I remembered how you always wanted one, yet couldn't. I still vividly remembered how your eyes shine whenever you talked about having children while looking at them. In the end, we never managed to have one...
Ah, I did it again. Well, back to Lylia. She's not that hard to take care of actually. It was just me who was being hectic and all that.
Oh, she's crying. I'll go to her. Sorry my dear, I'll pen off here now. I'll see you again soon. Love you, as always.
31 August 2018
To My Dear Wife,
Can you believe me, Elysia? Lylia started calling me Father! She actually called me Father! I'm finally understanding why you wanted children so much. The feeling when you're being called Father couldn't be explained with words.
Lylia is very adorable. She begins to smile now, like any other child. I did not tell you before, but she never actually tell what she likes or hates. Only after slowly warming up to each other, she finally opens up to me, though I hope she be more selfish. Her birthday is coming near. I want to buy a present for her, but I don't know what will be good.
...if you're here, you probably be excited to choose one for her. If it's you then, I'm sure you'd be angry at me for not spending all my saved up money on her. I'm sorry my dear, but I'll save up some for her in case of emergency. I know how I should spend money on her welfare and all that. But, this time, trust me. I'll do better. She's pulling my trousers right now, so I'll be writing off here. Don't worry, I'll come back soon. Never have once my love lessened for you.
12 December 2018
I'm terribly sorry my dear! It was never my intention to stop writing to you for so long. I know I'm making excuses but I'll explain why. I had just recovered from an accident during October and couldn't write. In September, I lost this diary. Since I've left you for so long, I'll tell you what had been happening now.
Did you know that our daughter is a genius? I might be exaggerating but she is too smart for her own age in my opinion. Just a month ago, she couldn't even remember any alphabet or number. Then, when I started teaching her when I was at the hospital recovering, she remembered it in just a few days. Of course, even after so many days passed, she didn't forget.
I thought she would be bored to learn, yet she asked me for more. I'm so proud of her. She was curious of many things and asked me to know the answer. My dear, I'm sure you'll also come to adore this girl if you're here now.
Now, I'm teaching her many things. For example, how clouds and rains worked, numbers and language. If there is anything she's bad at, I'd say etiquette. Hahaha, it's not like she's rude or anything. She's just straightforward and honest. I'll make sure she at least get the basic enough not to offend most people.
You don't have to worry my dear, I won't be strict or harsh. In fact, I couldn't do so since she is just too lovely.
Well then my dear Elysia, we'll meet again in another page. I love you, I miss you.
1 January 2019
......Lylia had grown a little bit taller. She started eating more. She began asking who's the woman in the picture with me. I answered that you're my wife, her mother. Then, she nodded and asked where are you? I—
4 March 2019
... Lylia was mad at me. She asked why she didn't have a mother like other people. It was the first time I yelled at her. I didn't mean to. I....I was just.... I'm sorry my dear, I know you're mad at me for being getting angry at such a pitiful child. I regret it the moment I raised my voice—
19 December 2019
....we played snow together. I know you're worried of her catching a cold but she's just too excited and I could not hold myself back when she looked at me with shining eyes. Did you know—
4 January 2021
....Lylia started going to school. I hope she fits in just fine—
5 May 2021
...Can you believe me if I say our daughter won a contest of knowledge!? As I thought, our daughter is very smart. It was good to teach her many things before. Her early exams grades were off chart. The teachers were absolutely surprised to how fast she was learning all these things. And—
16 July 2022
....She didn't show me her report card, but I knew that the grades weren't that good. She fell from the first place to fifth. No, I'm not actually mad at her my dear. In fact, I'm glad to see her failing for once. You might feel surprised to why, but I assure your that its good to let her taste failure once. If someone has only lived at the top, they won't know how it feels to climb from the bottom. You won't have to worry my dear, I won't scold her. I'll just encourage her. Let's see, will a teddy bear be a good way to start a conversation—
30 December 2024
....I think our Lylia is maturing faster than her peers. I don't know since when, but she asked me to teach her the knowledge of someone near my age. Of course, at first she couldn't get it. Therefore, I taught her something a one or two years beyond her current level. It's hard, but she's slowly getting it. Did you know dear, even after all these years passed, I never feel like my love for you lessened, but I had begun accepting that you're not here. Of course, that doesn't mean I'll be marrying again—
4 April 2027
... tonight, I drank a little wine while having your picture in front of me. I poured you a glass too. Lylia had gone to sleep, probably tired after playing too much at the funfair today. My dear, I began missing your presence again. I want to look at your face. I want to feel your touch. I want to hold you, hug you, kiss you. There was a time recently when I imagine you're in front of me. I tried to hug you, only for you to disappear. Lylia was worried about me. She—
27 March 2032
....Lylia got into a fight with some boys in school. Good thing I taught her a little self-defense technique. Lylia won't say why and I don't want to force her to tell me the reason she fought. Only after the teacher told me, I knew. For some reasons, the boys knew that she is adopted by me and they were making fun of her. However, the teacher told me that that was not the reason why she hit those boys. It was when you and I were made fun of that she lost it.... I'm felt happy to know that she cares about me and even you, who she did not been meet. She got suspended but I don't mind. It seems that she feels like she did something wrong, so I'm thinking of bringing her to sightsee at —
5 August 2036
....Lylia graduated early with the highest possible mark and grades. She even won many awards and competitions along the way. I felt proud to see how she succeeded in many things. Furthermore, when she got to give a speech, she spoke of how supportive I am, how I've been taking care of her....how she always feels grateful to me....sorry my dear, it seems my tears fell as I write this. I wish I can describe what I feel right now to you. I'm so happy... I wish you're here to share this happiness with you—
4 May 3037
...Our daughter got a good work and managed to achieve some great things. I'm proud of her. She didn't forget to share with me—
12 February 2038
... somebody proposed to Lylia. From how Lylia reacted, it seems that she's happy even though she's surprised. Nevertheless, how bold of him to propose to our daughter in front of me. I told him to return a week later. I thought that I should talk to you first. I know you want the best for Lylia too, just like how I want. Am I being too protective of her if I thought that it's too early? Lylia... I wonder what she feels—
4 March 2038
....in the end, I will allow them to get married. Of course, the marriage will take place next year. I did propose a few conditions to make sure our beloved Lylia will never suffer. I know my dear, my conditions are not that overboard. He just needs to have enough money, a house to live in, safe income and will take care of Lylia good enough. Nevertheless, if he ever f*cking hurt our Lylia even once, I'll take her back to us—
7 March 2038
....our Lylia was safely married this afternoon. She had a happy smile as she waved her hand at me. I didn't forget to smile even if my tears did fall. Last night, she came to my room and asked me, whether it's truly all right for her to get married. It seemed that she was worried about me being alone. She's old enough to know my life. I ha told her everything about us, about how I love you, how I lose you, how I suffered after you go.... nevertheless, I wished for her happiness. I told her, I want her to chase after her happiness and not end up like me. My dear, when she smiled, I saw another mirage of yours beside her—
9 July 2042
....it seems that I've been forgetful lately. The age have finally caught up to me. I feel guilty that I sometimes forgot your face. Due to that, I always had your picture with me. My body isn't even the same anymore. If you see me right now I wonder what you would say. Hahaha, you'd probably say 'I love you no matter how old you are'. It is as if I could hear you saying that. Lylia came regularly to check me out. She wanted me to come love with her but I don't want to disturb her married life. Well, it seems that that guy treat her well as Lylia had come looking more beautiful like you after getting living with him. Well —
10 March 2045
.... Elisya, I can't even see much now. The things I could eat lessened and I can't move too much. Lylia decided to take me in even after me refusing her. I couldn't stop her when she asked with tears. Good grief, I really have a soft spot for her. I feel sorry to bother her. Oh, did I tell you that we have a grandson now? He's cute. I think he's one years old this year. He always climb up to me—
30 August 2049
....Elisya, I think this might be my last entry. Things seemed to get harder. Even as I write this, I couldn't see what I am writing. My wife, my dear wife. Life got very hard after you passed, but I managed to get up after so long. In my life, I haven't even once forgotten about you. I did sometimes forget your face, but never your existence. I never have come to love any other woman like how I love you. I regret not spending time with you. I did not remember how much I regret it in my life. Nevertheless, all my memories with you were filled with joy. Your smile, your laugh, your touch. I miss them so much to the point even now, I'm seeing your face as I'm writing. Lylia helped me cope with your loss, yet never could she replace your existence. Nevertheless, I love her too. I'll give her this diary as my last gift to her. I don't know if she'll appreciate it or not, but I hope she'll read it at least once.
Elysia, my dear. I love you, I miss you so much. My wife.... I'm not afraid of death, but I'm afraid of not meeting you after this. I hope you'll wait for me over there. I don't have much time left and I know that. I just hope that there's enough time for me to leave everything I have to our Lylia.
And to my dearly beloved daughter, Lylia.
If you're reading this, I hope you've come to accept that I've left for your mother. You've never met her before but know that she loves you just as much as I love you, if not more. I left a will, where everything I owned will be left to you and only you. Your husband cannot touch what I left for you and I have paid several men to help you in case you're having a fight with your husband.
I know you're feeling guilty for not doing enough to repay me for adopting you. However, please know my dear. Adopting you, is the second best decision I had ever made in my life. The first is marrying your mother. Ever since you entered my life, I have not even an ounce of regret. Your existence helped me overcome my sadness and grief over your mother's leave. From the moment you're a child, you've never cause me any sorrow. You made me proud my daughter. I may not remember what you've achieve, but I do remember that you've excelled in anything you've done. Though, your etiquette might need help a little bit. Seeing you achieve many things, I actually hope that your mother would be here, to see what you had achieved beside me. I'm sure Elisya would be far more excited and glad to see you on the stage, receiving many awards.
My dear Lylia, you are Elysia's and mine beloved . The apple of our eyes.... I love you... Thank you my daughter, for being the second sun in my life, after I lost my first.
3 October 2049
To my forever beloved Father and Mother,
Father, you left me too early. I hope you can at least live long enough to see me getting old with you. However, I know. Your time has come. At least, you passed away with a smile on your face. Did you know, I cried quite a lot after you're gone. I even tried reviving you a few times. Haha, crazy ain't I? But, that's just how much you mean to me, Father. There are still a lot of things I want to give, talk, and express to you but you only left me two pages left and I've filled the first one for you. Therefore, let me filled up this first page with only my love. My Father, I love you so much. Thank you for adopting me, taking care of me, loving me, spoiling me, teaching me so many things, being proud of me, protecting me.... I'm sorry I couldn't repay you enough...but, please do know. I never have any regrets having you as my Father.
To my dear Mother whom I never met,
Um, nice to meet you. My name is Lylia Harzak, but went by Lylia Garson now. Mother may know me from what Father had written before, but I'll introduce myself properly. Mother, I am your daughter. Adopted as I am, I truly think and love Father as a family. Of course, I do love you too. Even though I've never met you before, I've seen your picture many times. Everytime Father looks at your picture, he always either had a smile or a sad look. He truly loves you. Whenever Father got drunk, he would always tell me stories of you, how beautiful you look, how kind you are, and how you would spoil me rotten if you're alive.
I wish I could have the chance to meet you even once...
However, although we have never met before, please know that I love you too. Maybe not as much as I love Father or how much Father loves you (Father just loves you too much to the point he would ignore me when he write this diary), but I do love you.
Therefore....both of you, please rest in peace. Father, the one who brought me up into this world. And Mother, the invisible supporter of mine.
To you, the stars of my life, I bid you my farewell and goodbye. I love you.
Sincerely,
Your beloved daughter,
Lylia Harzak