The following months, after getting the news that I was pregnant, went by in a blur. It had been a time full of changes. I had decided to lean into the new chapter of my life that I was beginning by changing my look up a bit. I had been dying my hair blonde since the beginning of high school, and I decided to go back to my roots and revert back to being a brunette, cutting off about 5 inches, so that it fell just below my shoulders, in the process.
More monumental change occurred in that Teagan and Chris had made It official, and starting dating after four long years of crushing on each other, not long after that infamous night at Flex. Chris had admitted a little into the relationship that he too had had eyes for Teagan since he had gotten his first glance for her in Writing Seminar during our freshman year. They both made each other incredibly happy, and it warmed my heart to finally see the two of them together.
The school year finished up, and most of my peers seemed unaffected by my absence at the end of the year festivities. I'm sure most of them attributed it to lingering despair about my mother, but I let them think whatever they wanted. At that point, I wasn't ashamed of my pregnancy, but at the same time, I didn't have the energy to be confronted by the judgment of those who knew nothing about me or my situation. Before we knew it, classes had ended, as did the senior week events, with commencement just around the corner. It was so crazy to think about how fast time passes you by; it had seemed like just yesterday Teagan and I had met the week of orientation, and now college was coming to an end and we were walking across the stage and receiving our diplomas together.
After graduation, Teagan moved back in with her parents to save some money. Things were growing more serious between her and Chris, but she felt as though she was not ready to take the leap and move in with him just yet. With her lack of a rent payment, Teagan was able to allocate a decent amount of her earnings toward saving for a place of their own in the future. Following the few weeks that I spent in her family's spare bedroom, I was finally able to find an apartment in the city near our alma mater, which coincidentally happened to be in the same building as Chris's place. Between the occasional checkins from him and his roommates, Mikey and Tom, (as requested of them by Teagan), and Teagan's frequent appearances herself, I was never truly lonely despite the fact that I lived by myself.
I was so thankful for all of the support that Teagan, Chris, and company provided, and whether it was helping me with the grocery shopping, picking up around the house, or cooking meals, they were always eager to lend a helping hand. Tom and Mikey had been good friends with Chris all throughout college and I had known of them over the past four years, but it was nice to finally get a chance to know them now that we were neighbors. All of them helped to make my situation a little more bearable, and they too became some of my closest friends.
I remember that during this time I had kept myself fairly busy, mostly as a method to distract myself. Even though I was physically prepared with everything that I needed, my mental and emotional preparation was lacking. In an attempt to keep my mind off of things, to reduce stress for the sake of the baby, I spent most of my time focusing on adjusting to my new job as a marketing representative for a record label, while I spent the remainder of my time prepping the nursery for the arrival of my baby, which got closer by the day. Since I was nearing the end of my pregnancy, I was unable to paint and I couldn't really do a lot of the heavy lifting of the furniture, so I outsourced some assistance from Chris and Mikey. They were a big help and I was so relieved that they were able to aid me in completing the decorating of the nursery before I gave birth.
As each day went on, I grew more and more fatigued. I was still able to work, since my job had the flexibility of being online, and I was fairly fortunate that my company had good benefits for expectant parents and those who needed maternity leave once the baby actually arrived. I had just finished my workload, as my supervisor had reduced my hours to half days since my due date was in a week and a half, and I decided that I wanted to go out to treat myself to lunch. I was craving a sandwich from a shop a few blocks away from my apartment, so I closed my laptop and organized my paperwork as I got up from my desk chair. As I rose, I felt a contraction and it felt as though I had peed my pants.
I gasped.
My water broke.
I was in shock because after all the talk and preparation for this exact moment, the time had come and it was finally happening. Luckily, I had packed a bag, so it was not like I had to scramble to put everything together at the last second. I went into my bedroom and grabbed the bag from my closet and opened my phone to call Teagan. The phone kept ringing with no answer. I texted her saying that it was an emergency, and then tried calling Chris. No answer from him either. I changed my clothes and grabbed my stuff, heading for Chris's apartment. I really didn't want to have to call an ambulance for this, and I sure as hell wasn't going to drive to the hospital while I was in labor. I was praying that they were just preoccupied and their phones weren't in proximity, which is why they had neglected the multitude of notifications from my end.
I knocked on the door to Chris's apartment repeatedly, and after what I assumed to be the twelfth knock, the door swung open, almost sending me toppling to the floor of their entryway. Mikey's hands flew out to brace me so that I didn't fall.
"Hey Celine, everything alright?" Mikey asked, confused by my presence and rather frantic disposition.
"Is Teagan here? Or Chris? I couldn't get ahold of either of them." I said, breathless.
"Uh no. They left this morning, saying something about a day trip maybe? I'm not entirely sure, they're both off from work today, though. Why? Is something wrong?" He asked, seemingly concerned.
"Well, my water just broke and I kind of need a ride to the hospital." I confessed, hoping that he would be able to help.
"What?! Celine, why didn't you lead with that?" Mikey exclaimed as his eyes widened. "Here, Tom isn't home but he left his car here, I can drive you." He offered, running to grab Tom's keys that resided on the kitchen counter.
He hurried back to the door and took my duffel bag from my shoulder. We made our way to the stairwell and as Mikey guided me down I cursed the building for not having an elevator which would be especially helpful for a time like this. We got to Tom's car, and Mikey rushed to the passenger side to open my door for me. As he did so, I got a flashback to when Josh had done the same the night I went home with him.
Josh.
With how busy I had been in the past nine months I hadn't really thought of him. I had tried to move on with my life after that night, and at first, it had been difficult, given the constant reminder that grew in my uterus each day, but in recent months I hadn't paid the memories of that night with him much mind.
"Celine, are you okay?" Mikey asked, which took me out of my thoughts. Concern riddled his expression.
"Uh, yeah... all good sorry." I replied, shaking off the memory as I made my way into the car.
The ride to the hospital was quiet, but I didn't mind. The music from the radio played softly in the background and every once in a while Mikey would check in to make sure that I was okay. I appreciated his concern, but I didn't give him more than a brief confirmation because my attention was focused elsewhere.
Ever since I had gotten the flashback, Josh flooded through my mind. I wondered what he was doing right now, or where he was. I wondered how he would have reacted to the news of my pregnancy, and if it would have scared him away, or made him stay. I wondered whether or not, if circumstances were different, he'd be elated that I was about to give birth, and excited to have been a dad. In that moment I grew sad, because I wished that things were different, and for a second, I romanticized an imaginary life where we were in love and I would be about to experience one of the happiest days of my life with my person by my side.
However, much to my dismay, this was not the case, and luckily I didn't have to ruminate with the day dream much longer, as Mikey pulled up to the entrance of the hospital. I quickly wiped a tear from my eye as he made his way over and escorted me out of the car and up to the front desk of the hospital, where they got me checked in and brought me to my room.
The next few hours were hectic and exhausting as I labored and nurses filtered in and out of my room. Mikey and I thankfully managed to get a hold of Chris and Teagan, who abandoned their previous plans and headed straight to the hospital as soon as they heard the news. Mikey had been a tremendous support throughout the entire process, guiding me through contractions and keeping me occupied in the mean time— I honestly didn't know he had it in him, although selfishly I wished that it was Josh by my side instead.
When Teagan arrived she replaced Mikey as my aid, and I eventually delivered after six hours of being in the hospital. It was such an emotional moment. Teagan and I both cried tears of joy as I welcomed the most precious baby girl into this world. Throughout the process of picking a baby name, Evangeline was always one that had stuck out to me, and I would call her Lina for short. Meaning bearer of good news, I decided that it would be fitting as she was my good news—the pleasant weather after the storm I had endured. For her middle name, I settled on May, not only because it was Teagan's middle name, and she was to be the godmother to Evangeline, but also because it was the month that my little Lina had come into existence.
Despite all of the uncertainty and unrest I had experienced, being with her, I was finally at peace, and I stared at her little face as she slept in my arms, I knew that everything would be okay, and I promised to give her the best life that I could.