Chapter Twelve: Free, They Are
"Nanami-san... You really are a good person..."
"But I am alright... This is nothing but motivation to grow stronger and..." you grinned, before muttering softly to yourself, "Thank you for telling me that it's okay for me to express my feelings..."
The two of them, Yuuji and the Grade 1 sorcerer, only stared at you wordlessly; one with an obvious worried look expressed on his face while the older man had an almost unreadable blank expression.
"Alright then," Nanami said, turning to face the door.
You flashed a bright and unbothered smile, "Let's head out then!"
And with that, the three of you left the room, leaving the stale air and the negative thoughts behind.
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Arriving at an office room, Yuuji and you followed Nanami and met up with Ijichi.
"I've organised the reports from our intel on recent residuals, unnatural deaths, and disappearances," Nanami said, holding his hand out towards the map that was pinned onto the chalkboard, "This should help us narrow down the culprit's hideout to some extent."
Excitement filled in Yuuji as he held his fists up, "Oh yeah! Are we storming in?" he exclaimed.
You crossed your arms and shook your head, "No no no, we gotta jump them; like when they're going out to buy their groceries or something... We can hide in an aisle that has their favourite snacks, then boom– we jump out and tackle them onto the ground! Then, ding ding! It's a victory for us!" you explained, childishly, with your pointer sticking out as if you were explaining the plans of a grand heist.
"Y/N..."
"You're an actual genius! Why didn't I think of that?" Yuuji praised, glitters forming in his eyes as he looked at you with awe.
Nanami only brought his hand to the bridge of his glasses/sunglasses and sighed. Just when he thought that you were the better Gojo, you turned around and said something extremely dumb that proved that you were indeed that idiot's sister.
The assistant pursed his lips together to stifle a laugh; the similarities between you and Gojo Satoru was almost laughable. Something must've been in your bloods to have invoked such unhinged and stupid ideas from such intelligent individuals.
"Wait a second. Do Curses even eat?" you asked dumbly, muttering to yourself as you placed a finger onto your chin and stared at the ground intensely, pondering upon your very own question.
Nanami crossed his arms and ignored your question, "We will not be storming in," he said, dully.
You immediately turned your head to the side and grinned smugly at Yuuji as he furrowed his brow jokingly at your cocky look of victory.
"Ah ha! See, even Nanami-san agrees that we should jump them!" you laughed.
He cleared his throat as he glanced at you, "No, I don't," he shot, "And we won't be jumping them at a grocery store for your amusement, Y/N-kun"
And in that moment, it was as if you turned into dried poop and withered away. Sounds familiar? That's because this exact scene had played out before, the last time, Satoru was your victim, but this time, you're the victim.
"Aw shucks..." you complained to Yuuji, as you slumped downwards and sniffled comically before straightening your posture while your usual sly expression returned to your face. "So where are we heading now?"
Silence hung in the air for a brief moment.
"We don't have enough information about the Curse at hand so while I investigate this matter, I'd like the both of you to handle a different task," Nanami spoke calmly as he pulled out a picture of a darked haired boy and pinned it onto the chalkboard, "This is the boy who was at the theatre, Yoshino Junpei."
"Apparently, he goes to the same school as the victims."
The blond haired man then grabbed the remote control and switched on the television screen that was beside the chalkboard, "Based on the surveillance footage and how he carried himself, I believe it was unlikely he could be a curse user. However, if he's related to the victims, that changes things."
You glanced at the air aimlessly, as your expression hardened.
"Curse user?" Yuuji raised a brow.
Nanami placed his hand on his hip while leaning slightly to the side, "An evil Jujutsu Sorcerer."
He then continued to speak and explain his instructions, "I've entrusted this process to Ijichi-kun, so I'd like the both of you to investigate Yoshino Junpei."
You held up a salute along with Ijichi and Yuuji, a stupid and playful smirk staining your face.
"Roger that!" both you and Yuuji exclaimed.
Yuuji then turned to face Ijichi with widened eyes that had a childlike curiosity ringing from them, "Speaking of which, I don't think I know any assistants other than you..." he said, rhetorically.
Ijichi then smiled awkwardly and replied to the pink haired boy, "Well, I'm the only one who knows you're still alive and well, Y/N-kun is temporarily suspended from school so technically, she isn't even supposed to be training or going on jobs."
"Oh-" Yuuji opened his mouth to speak.
"Wait wait wait!"
"I'M WHAT?! SUSPENDED FROM SCHOOL?! SINCE WHEN?!" you interrupted your friend with a yell, "I thought I was only not allowed to join the Goodwill Event and that I had to transfer to Kyoto if our branch loses!"
Ijichi's eyes widened, "Did your brother not tell you?" he asked, "You were suspended ever since that meeting he had with the higher ups because the decision of your transfer is still up in the air and because they think you're a threat to safety."
All this was just so the Jujutsu Elders would have things in their favour; just so they'd hinder your growth in strength... So they'd be able to train you to become their little unquestioning slave.
Your jaw only dropped as you stared at the overworked assistant wordlessly, you could not even begin to string together words of insults to throw at your dear brother.
Yuuji turned to look at you with innocent eyes, "Dang Y/N, what happened? I didn't take you to be a delinquent," he said before laughing, "I bet you broke the rules in a cool way though."
You only turned your heads towards him slowly as your expression remained the same; frozen in shock and with your mouth open.
"Yuuji, that's not the point... I'm literally just finding out that I've been suspended...And for such a stupid reason..." you said before you paused.
Your face then, in a split second, turned into one that showed much annoyance and frustration, "THAT STUPID BROTHER OF MINE! HOW COULD HE NOT TELL ME?! I'M GONNA POUR SALT ALL OVER HIS SWEETS AND SHOVE THEM DOWN HIS THROAT!!" you yelled, "I SWEAR!"
Nanami glanced at your expressive and sudden outburst; his eyes, slightly widened at your choice of words, it seems you had not completely rejected Satoru as a brother.
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He may think that you had long abandoned the idea of being siblings, but somewhere in you, you wanted to accept him despite your lack of trust in him and despite his seemingly lack of care towards you.
To you, all you could hear from his words were his playful words of affirmation where he joked about you being his favourite, where he joked about the little things that you secretly wanted to be approved of.
To you, all you could hear were his insincerities.
You felt like you held no importance to him despite being his sister.
And there was hypocrisy in your words. You were a hypocrite.
You said that you'd never want to be his family, or to ever see him as a brother, but you wanted acknowledgement. You wanted to at least have someone to call family and to have someone love you endlessly in a familial manner. But of course, you never knew that you felt this way...
How contradicting, but that's the truth isn't it? Feelings were a pain and they were confusing.
One could say one thing but mean another.
Though you had not realised, you were already beginning to warm up to Satoru and you were slowly getting closer with him.
Now it just depended on him; if he was going to keep up with his effort in getting to know his sister that had been robbed from his life.
"I'm really busy y'know, I can't say I'll be around to take care of their mental growth,"
"Are you really going to leave your sister in the care of someone else again and not be a part of her life?"
"But Nanami~ I'm the strongest y'know, I don't have time for this~"
However, those were the words he uttered. Every sign of care he held for you, he had always hid them behind his playful words, and whether or not he was sincere or not, you would never know and he would never let the truth show.
The Strongest didn't know how to be a brother, so he treated you just like how he treats all his other students, but despite all that, he really wanted you to be his sister.
You were not just another one of his students; you were a gemstone that was stolen from him and he allowed it to happen. Satoru couldn't help but think that his life would've been very different if you had been in it this whole time.
In him, there was an untold emotion that he did not know how to express. That emotion was formed by the ghost of you that haunted him at the back of his mind and it was called guilt.
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Nanami cleared his throat, catching both your attentions, "Itadori-kun, Y/N-kun, the both of you should best be on your way now," he said, in a dull yet strict tone.
"Roger that! Let's go, Y/N!" Yuuji exclaimed, brightly, swinging his arm upwards as he marched out of the room .
You trailed behind him while you held a fist to your face as you muttered inaudible curses that were aimed at your rather responsible and thoughtful brother.
But as you were caught up in your little creative insult session at your brother, you paused when Yuuji turned to head back towards the room where Nanami was.
You stared at him with, doe eyed, while turning to follow him and hearing the soft exchanges between the two adults.
"I simply chose the former, they're both still children, after all."
Nanami's voice was calm yet adamant on his beliefs. He believed that as an adult he was responsible for both your safety and he could not allow the both of you to be within death's reach, if he could avoid the circumstance, that is.
Your lips wobbled a little after hearing his words.
His sense of responsibility over children, such as yourself, reached into you and gently hugged that inner kid in you that was cowering in darkness, fighting against the fear that told you to hide every little weakness you had; this included your messed up emotions.
The pink haired boy jumped behind Ijichi and pushed him into the room while grinning brightly, "Nanami-sensei!"
"Itadori-kun?"
That frown that was growing on your face, flipped upwards into a smile almost immediately the moment you heard Yuuji's voice. Deciding to not think too much about what you were feeling and just try to live in the moment, you stuck your head next to Yuuji's.
"We forgot to say this but," Yuuji began.
"Be careful, okay?" the both of you spoke together, in unison, with bright smiles planted on your faces.
The both of you leaned towards the side, heads popping out from the door frame as you held bright and playful grins on your face. You scrunched your face up a little, out of confusion as you moved your head back slightly, "Wait, Yuuji, Nanami-san isn't a teacher," you noted.
"That's right, I'm not a teacher, so please don't call me that," Nanami spoke shortly.
Turning to face each other with your bright and innocent-looking eyes, the both of you seemed to have thought of the same thing at the same time as an overjoyed grin grew on both your lips, "Then Nanamin!"
You swung your arm over Yuuji's shoulder as he swung his arm over yours while you held a thumbs up next to your face. The both of you beamed at the Grade 1 sorcerer like little kids, awaiting for their praises from their favourite teacher.
Nanami's brow twitched in annoyance as he stared blankly at both of your enthusiasm, "I will slap the both of you."
Yuuji and you let out a small sigh as the both of you narrowed your eyes at the older man and stuck your bottom lips out, pouting like petty children.
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Fast forward to late afternoon, Ijichi, Yuuji and you, found Yoshino Junpei. The three of you trailed behind him in the car as Ijichi drove slowly, "There he is," he spoke calmly.
"Huh? Casual clothes?" Yuuji thought out loud.
Your eyebrows jumped upwards a little in acknowledgement of his remark as you scanned the boy that the two of you were tasked with, "He probably hasn't been going to school lately, or, he overslept this morning and decided not to go to school," you said, "The latter seems the most possible!"
At the same time, Ijichi began to explain, "It seems this boy has not been going to school lately."
"Eh?"
The three of you let out the same sound, as you stared at each other dumbly. Ijichi let out a choke as he stumbled upon his words, "I-I mean, yes, he definitely overslept this morning and did not go to school."
Almost out of habit, he changed his answer to suit yours, and that was because he was too used to playing along with Satoru's jokes and too used to hearing his empty threats whenever he disagreed with him.
You raised a brow, "Why'd you change your words to fit mine?" you asked, in a plain and childlike manner.
"O-Oh no, I..." Ijichi stuttered.
Yuuji and you stared at the assistant, doe eyed. For some reasons, although the look on both your faces were very innocent-looking, he couldn't help but feel pressured.
The pink haired boy then broke out in laughter, "Pffttt! Y/N's not the type to get angry over stuff like this! She hates getting looked down on, sure, but she'd never throw a tantrum over being wrong about little stuff like this!" he laughed.
Ijichi let out a relieved sigh as his shoulders slumped down, "Oh thank god you're not like your brother when it comes to this," he muttered.
Your gaze immediately snapped towards him as your head jerked back almost immediately in an offended manner, "Of course I'm not like him! In fact, I'm nothing like him!" you declared, crossing your arms together and holding your head up high like a prideful child.
Yuuji and Ijichi exchanged wordless glances as they pressed their lips together in silence, "Yeah..."
You were most definitely like your brother, other than a few differences in personality.
That was what they both thought, but they could not say it out loud or you'd start sulking like a child, which was... Exactly like Gojo Satoru.
"Oh yeah, Y/N, I forgot to ask you earlier but, how are they doing? Kugisaki and Fushiguro, I mean," Yuuji asked, switching the topic of this conversation.
You glanced at your friend, "Oh, they're doing well, in fact, I think they're having the time of their lives with the second-years," you said, "But I think your death definitely had a rather big impact on them. They may not show it but it definitely affected them."
"They're gonna be so happy when they find out you're alive though! They'll start crying and stuff, and then global warming will be solved! Man, I can't wait for them to find out!"
Yuuji's eyes widened at you in wonder as he grinned excitedly, "Y/N, you really are a genius!"
Ijichi sweatdropped at your words then returned his gaze towards the road and followed the boy the two of you were tasked with. Unable to follow Yoshino Junpei any further by car, Ijichi parked the car by the roadside, "We'll get out of the car now," he said, as he got off the car and glanced around, "Let's go."
Yuuji and you followed his actions and nodded to his words; a serious look drawn upon both your faces.
The three of you then blended into the streets and covertly followed the boy. Yuuji held onto the cage of fly heads while you had your eyes glued on Yoshino Junpei. You turned your head slightly to glance at the fly heads when they shrieked softly to themselves while they grabbed onto the bars of the cage.
They look so ugly, was what you thought, but I guess they have some sort of adorable charm to them as well.
You nodded at them as you thought about how these low level Cursed Spirits were so ugly yet cute.
"Yuuji, these look like you," you said as you stuck your finger out towards the Fly Heads, grinning mischievously.
The pink haired boy tilted his head to the side to look through the cage, "It does?" he asked.
You stifled a laugh, pressing your lips together into a fine line, "Mhmm," you hummed, trying to hold back your laugh.
Yuuji raised his eyebrows and nodded to himself as he took in the sight of the low-level Cursed Spirits, "I guess they do," he added, "Especially the eyes."
Ijichi sweatdropped at the conversation that the both of you were having, 'how could a conversation lack so much brain cells', he wondered.
The assistant cleared his throat, "Alright, there he is," he informed as the both of you came to a halt in your actions, placing a pause in your conversation, "Here we go...!"
He took the cage from Yuuji but as he was about to open it up to set the Fly Heads free, Yuuji and you glanced to the side to see some passer-bys, "Wait, time out! There are people coming!" the two of you exclaimed.
But the moment the words had left your mouth, the Fly Heads were already set free.
"Oh no!"
"Ah poop!"
The both of you exclaimed at the same time and dashed off towards the direction the Fly Heads flew. You chased after the low level curses and ended up getting separated from Yuuji. He went in the direction of Yoshino Junpei, you noted before refocusing on the curse you were chasing.
All you had to do was focus on using your Curse Technique and at a snap of your fingers the Fly Head would be exorcised.
And that was exactly what happened, all you did was snap your fingers and they Fly Head was gone.
You straightened your posture and let out a short huff, closing your eyes briefly to reorganise your thoughts for a bit. The day had been a little stressful for you. Your beliefs of not showing any signs of weakness and any signs of immaturity was countered by a certain Grade 1 sorcerer, but not only that, your whole sense of morality had been shaken to the core.
Knowing the fact that what you had 'exorcised' today was a human, you felt bile go up your throat. The whole scene had been haunting you; the feeling of your fist digging into human flesh and the sight of blood pouring endlessly out of the cavity you had formed.
You shook your head and slapped your face with both your palms, this wasn't the time for you to be worrying about your miniscule guilt and problems, you thought. Yuuji and you were tasked with a job, and because you held a great amount of respect towards Nanami, you wanted to do your job well.
Nanami: 1 Satoru: 0
The Grade 1 sorcerer gained more respect from you in a day than Satoru had in the past few weeks.
You rushed back in search of Ijichi and you found him sitting in his car worriedly, "Um... Ijichi-san?" you called out.
The assistant immediately snapped out of his thoughts and glanced at you, "Oh, Y/N-kun, you're back! Have you come in contact with Yoshino Junpei?" he asked.
"Nope, but Yuuji should be with him right now," you noted, "His Fly Head went in the direction of him."
Ijichi pressed his lips into a fine line, "I haven't heard news from him yet," he told you.
A reassuring smile was plastered on your face as you waved your hand around, "Don't worry about him, he probably forgot that's all," you said, "I'll go check on him and let you know, would that be okay?"
"If it isn't too tiring for you," he replied, lowering his head a little.
You grinned brightly, "Alrigthy! I'll be on my way then!" you exclaimed.
But before you left, you glanced back to look at the assistant, "Also, Ijichi-san, you don't have to be so proper and polite with us, we should be the ones to treat you with respect anyway! You're the assistant here and we're only students," you added quickly, with a familiar childish smile before dashing off.
Dumbstruck, Ijichi could only stare at the blank air where your figure was less than a second ago. You may appear to be mischievous, tough, and somehow cold at times, you were in fact, a good kid deep down.
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While searching for Yuuji in the direction that he had gone, the sun was already beginning to set. You glanced at the side before pulling out your phone to check the time but as you were doing so your stomach growled. Realising how late it was already, you clicked your tongue and shoved your phone into your school uniform's pocket.
Yes, your top for your school uniform was a little different than the others, you had a pocket on the right side of your shirt and that was because Satoru thought that it'd be a little impractical if you did not have a pocket on you. So why did he choose a short skirt for you as part of your uniform? Only God knows.
You broke into a slow jog as you searched high and low for your best friend, but as you were doing so, you felt the ground shake a little which caused you to pause in your actions to observe your surroundings. However, thanks to that sudden vibration, you managed to spot Yuuji and the boy, Yoshino Junpei, sitting alongside the river.
A bright grin immediately grew onto your face as you began to skip towards the staircase that led to the riverside. Your steps however paused when you noticed a figure in dark clothes observing Yuuji and the boy from above, where you were at.
You were about 15 metres away from the person in dark clothes and you observed them in an inconspicuous manner. But your eyes only widened when the person turned their head to the side, making eye contact with you.
You immediately played it cool and lightly jogged towards the person, who you now identified as a man with dark hair and stitch marks on his forehead. "Hello mister! I'm so sorry for bothering you but I was wondering if you could tell me the direction of the nearest convenient store, I seem to have lost my way," you lied, maintaining a friendly smile and unsuspecting expression.
He glanced down upon you with an unreadable expression before smiling a close eyed smile, "Are you not from around here?" he asked, his voice friendly, but his eyes could not hide his scheming gaze.
"Oh no, I'm from the countryside, I recently moved here because my parents enrolled me into a religious school," you added in a playful tone so he wouldn't ask more and so you could decide if this man was a threat or not.
But whether he felt dangerous or not, you were going to inform Ijichi about this so he could inform either Nanami or Satoru about this.
The man glanced at your school insignia before returning his gaze towards you, there was definitely a sense of familiarity in your features but he could not place his finger on it, after all, he had never met a person with E/C eyes and H/C hair.
"I see," he smiled, "Is that your school's insignia? It's very pretty."
Wrong move, mister.
You were now quite sure that this man could hold a threat upon the Jujutsu Society.
Should you play dumb and lie? Or should you place some truths in your words?
You chose the latter.
"Oh yeah, it is! I just got this uniform today so I didn't notice it, but you've got a keen eye, sir! It really is quite pretty!" you said, chuckling to yourself.
The man only smiled and you only returned the gesture. He then turned to leave but as he turned his back towards you, it was almost as if you felt a gust of Cursed Energy, "Wait!" you called out, immediately.
"Mister, you never told me where the nearest convenience store is!"
He only glanced back at you with an unreadable and somehow blank expression, "I don't know either, I'm not from around here," he said shortly before leaving.
You watched as his figure moved further and further away, why did you notice so late? This man was overflowing with Cursed Energy, why did it take so long for you to realise?
The answer for that was that you were still not used to using your Six Eyes and when you're caught off guard, your first instinct was to just improvise instead of relying on your ocular Jujutsu.
It was new to you after all and you weren't used to trying to see the world filled with Cursed Energy. The on-off switch that you created for your Six Eyes had such a great downfall upon you. You had to get used to using it instinctively, you had to.
Watching the man's figure slowly disappear, you immediately took out your phone and called Ijichi. The call did not go through the first time for some reasons, but on the second call, the assistant accepted the call, "Y/N-kun? Is everything alright?" his voice came through your cell phone.
"Oh um, yes, but I just need to let you know that I just encountered a man that was really suspicious and, I noticed this a little too late, but he had a lot of Cursed Energy, like– a lot! Should I go after him?" you asked, speaking quicker than usual so you could catch up to the man in question if Ijichi gave you the green light to go after him.
"Y/N-kun, if what you're saying is true, you most definitely SHOULD NOT go after him!" Ijichi scolded worriedly, "Meeting someone with an abundant amount of Cursed Energy and thinking that their suspicious is definitely not a good sign in any way! I'll inform Nanami-san immediately, but in the meantime, please meet up with Yuuji and inform me about his plans. I tried calling him just now, but there was no answer."
You nodded once to his words before glancing down at the riverside at Yuuji, "Alright, I'll let you know as soon as possible."
Putting your phone away, you walked towards the flight of stairs that led to the riverside and slid down on the railing, "Yuuujiiiiii!" you called out.
The two boys watched as you raced towards them with the help of gravity, eyes wide and speechless, they could only watch as you came to a stop.
You then hopped off the cool metal and skidded to a stop comically.
"Y/N!" Yuuji exclaimed, in shock but also in happiness; almost like he was so glad to see you.
You spun around to face him, holding two peace signs next to your face as you beamed at him, "Yahoo, partner!"
The boy, Yoshino Junpei, only glanced at you with his eyes wide; that was certainly quite an entrance.
"Y/N! Where were you?" Yuuji asked.
You shrugged lightly, "Oh just here and there, I got rid of the Fly Head then met up with Ijichi, then we both decided that I should come find you, so here I am," you said, in a carefree and slightly childish tone.
"Anyway," you continued, as you made your way towards him, "CHECK YOUR PHONE NEXT TIME!"
You smacked Yuuji right on the top of his head with the side of your palm.
The pink haired boy clutched onto his head as he crouched down, "Oww!" he whined, comical tears spilling from his eyes.
An imaginary fire seemed to rage from behind you and Yuuji only pouted childishly while glancing to the side, "Okay... I'm sorry," he apologised.
He then hopped up when he noticed the look of confusion on Junpei's face, "Oh right! This is Y/N! She's my childhood friend! But she's also a bit of a gorilla so try not to get on her bad side!" he laughed.
"What?!" you snapped.
Yuuji only ignored your antics and grinned proudly at the dark haired boy, almost as if he was waiting to be praised for being friends with you.
Yoshino Junpei lowered his head a little as he bowed slightly whilst in his sitting position, "Hello," he greeted, in a soft voice.
"Hello!" you smiled charismatically, gloss gleaming off your Gojo™ lips.
The look on your face seemed to have rendered the boy speechless as he just remained silent and glanced away. (a/n: c'mon guys, i know y'all are all hotties ;))
"So what were you guys talking about?" you asked, trying to make conversation.
Yuuji then replied in Junpei's stead, the boy was on the quiet side after all, "Oh not much, just about movies and stuff."
You leaned your head back a little and nodded slowly, "Ohhh, cool cool," you said, "I didn't know you were a fan of movies; if I did I would've brought you to watch the rerun of one of my favourite movies."
The pink haired boy opened his mouth to give you a reply but he was only cut off by the sudden excitement in Junpei's voice, "You mean the [FAV MOVIE NAME] rerun?! This was their first rerun since their airing date 20 years ago!" he exclaimed, with a burst of confidence.
"You actually managed to get a ticket for that?!"
With widened eyes, Yuuji and you stared at the boy in slight shock before your usual bright and playful grin returned to your face, "Yup! I bought the tickets for it the moment the ticket booth started selling them! I would've bought some for you if I had known you earlier!" you laughed.
Yuuji glanced back and forth at the both of you as the two of you dove into a full on conversation about [FAV GENRE] films. Now this was a side he never anticipated.
Though he had known you for years, he did not know that you held such passions for movies. Maybe he just wasn't paying enough attention to you, he thought.
Well, he knew of your favourite film but he had never seen you with such excitement in your eyes while talking about films before. This was most likely due to the fact that you did not have someone who held the same interests as you to talk to.
Yuuji was more of a companion to you. The two of you enjoyed each other's company even though you did not share much similarities with him besides your child-like thoughts and enthusiasm.
The pink haired boy placed his hands on his hips as he smiled at the sight of you. He liked it when you had that look on your face; when you seemed carefree and just engrossed in a topic that you take interest in, it made you look more like someone his age.
This side of you only came out whenever you had a bad idea planted in your head that you really wanted to execute; or when Yuuji bought you your favourite desserts.
"-ji! Yuuji!" you called out, waving your hand in front of the pink haired boy as he held the same gentle smile on his face. He blinked twice, jerking his head back by a little and refocused his gaze towards you, "Oh um! Sorry 'bout that!" he laughed.
You raised a brow and let out a short huff, "That's okay," you smiled, "What was on your mind to get you so caught up in a daze?"
"It's nothing," he laughed, awkwardly, "The both of you are getting along well!"
"More importantly," you interrupted, "I didn't even know you were interested in movies! What's your favourite movie?"
There were glitters glimmering off your bright eyes as you stared at Yuuji excitedly, but for him, he felt some sort of pressure from your question. It was almost as if your whole friendship was at stake if he answered wrongly.
"Umm...." Yuuji mumbled, as he glanced to the side, attempting to dodge your question due to his fear of your whole friendship with him collapsing if he answered with an answer that went completely against your taste in movies.
You raised your brow again, and this time, Junpei stared at Yuuji too with the same confused look.
Sweat seemed to collect on his forehead in less than a second, "Ummm..." he continued.
Junpei turned to look at you and you did the same before the both of you returned your gazes towards the pink haired boy, "Um?" the both of you repeated.
He couldn't take the pressure. Screw it, he thought.
"I really like X-Men because Jennifer Lawrence was in it!" he screamed, forcing his opinion out as he scrunched his eyes tight.
You let out a loud laugh, "As I thought!" you grinned, turning to face Junpei, "Yuuji really likes Jennifer Lawrence, so I was waiting for him to name one of the movies that she was in!"
Junpei chuckled softly to himself, "It does fit his character," he remarked.
"Right?"
Yuuji then watched the both of you with wide eyes, "Eh?" he muttered. This was not what he had expected. "You guys are not gonna say 'that's lame?'" he asked, voicing his inner thoughts and slight fear.
"Pfftt!" you stifled a laugh, "Of course not! The X-Men saga was pretty good! Only the first few though, in my opinion."
Junpei closed his eyes in agreement as he crossed his arms and nodded to your words, "I agree," he added.
"Oh yeah, the latest few felt a little lacklustre," Yuuji agreed.
You beamed, "See! We're all on the same boat! There's nothing to be afraid about!"
Yuuji only glanced at the side as he pressed his lips into a fine line, "Nah, there was once you spent the whole afternoon explaining to me about how ASIAN KUNG FU GENERATION was one of the greatest bands of all time when I only said their songs were a little depressing..." he mumbled to himself while you laughed with Junpei.
"Oh yeah, we should totally exchange numbers so I can help you grab movie tickets if you're too busy to stop by the ticket booth before they're all sold out," you suggested as you pulled out your phone to hand it to the dark haired boy.
"Yeah! We should go to the movies together some time! Y'all can take me to one you guys would recommend!" Yuuji exclaimed, joining the conversation at last.
Junpei's eyes widened a little as he glanced at your phone then back to you and Yuuji, "Is that... really okay?" he muttered to himself. You tilted your head to the side, eyes still focused on the boy,
Both Yuuji and you only kept your eyes trained on him, awaiting his reply. But as he was about to speak, the voice of an older woman rang softly from a distance, "Oh, Junpei?"
The three of you immediately snapped your head towards the owner of the voice.
"Mom," Junpei called out.
Yoshino Junpei's mother was a beautiful woman with short dark hair that was slightly wavy. She sported a sweater that loosely hung around her frame, coloured in a plum shade. Her overall look was laid back, but in a good way.
The way she held herself made her look as though she was someone fun to be around with but at the same time, she seemed like a very caring person.
"It's unusual to see you out here," Junpei's mom remarked, "Are these your friends?"
Her gaze then switched towards Yuuji and you. The moment she turned to look at the both of you, a thumbs-up was immediately shot up to the side of your face as you grinned childishly.
"We just met, actually," Junpei replied.
Yuuji then held his hand out and added his own reply to Junpei's mom, "We may have just met, but I think we can be friends!" he exclaimed, "Right, Y/N?"
You nodded quickly to his words, "Yep!" you called out, "Your son is very knowledgeable about movies and he's really nice to talk to!"
The older woman smiled at your words, feeling glad that her son had found someone to talk to, "Really? I hope the three of you get along well, then," she said, holding her cigarette out.
However, at the side of that cigarette stick, Junpei immediately frowned, "Mom!" he yelled, then muttering the latter part, "I asked you to... quit smoking."
You glanced at the boy, thoughts flowing into your head as you formed your theories regarding his distress. Something must have happened to him for him to feel so strongly about the sight of that cancer stick.
Yuuji, too, only silently observed the situation. Though he did not put as much thought as you did into discerning the problem, he definitely knew that there was something about cigarettes that Yoshino Junpei hated.
"Oh, right, sorry," Junpei's mom apologised, "I did promise not to smoke in front of you anymore."
You only continued to switch your gaze between the two of them, as did Yuuji.
The woman dressed in purple then made her way down the flight of stairs, a bag of groceries dangling around her arm, "What are your friend's name?" she asked.
"Itadori Yuuji!" Yuuji hopped up excitedly as he held his hand straight up.
You followed in pursuit, "Go–"
Wait, wait, wait, what am I saying?
But before you could correct yourself, you've already reached your name, "--jo Y/N..."
There was seemingly a great amount of enthusiasm in your actions but when it came to your introduction, you were a deflated balloon. Your voice lost its glow half way and your expression immediately dropped the moment you finished speaking.
You stared off into the blank air, brows stitched together. You were confused about how you felt, about your hatred, and about your whole identity. Why Gojo? Why not Shimori, like how it's always been?
What you failed to notice was how Yuuji looked at you with concern too.
He knows.
He knows about how much you wanted to reject your family, so why did you introduce yourself as so? He didn't know the answer to that, but he knows that you're extremely bothered by your own words.
"Um..." Yuuji mumbled to himself, thinking of a way to lift the dense air surrounding you and the awkwardness that befell the Yoshino's, "T-The green onion doesn't suit your look!" he joked, pointing at Junpei's mom.
You snapped out of your little trance and glanced up at the three of them. Junpei glanced at you briefly with a confused look but only returned his gaze towards his mother and Yuuji.
"Oh, you can tell?" the older woman said, holding the bag of green onions up, "I'm trying to be a woman who doesn't look good with green onions."
Junpei only sweatdropped and glanced at his mother with a deadpan, "What are you even talking about?" he muttered, softly.
You only smiled awkwardly and forced out a gentle chuckle, after all, you did not want to ruin the mood with your... confusion.
"So, Yuuji-kun, Y/N-kun, would the both of you care to join us for dinner?" Junpei's mom asked.
Junpei then jumped at the suggestion, "H-Hey! W-We'll just be bothering them!" he exclaimed.
"Huh? Are you saying my cooking is a nuisance?!"
And right on cue, both Yuuji's and your stomach grumbled. You grew bright red from the sound of your tummy and you immediately glanced away but Yuuji only stared shamelessly forward.
The woman dressed in purple only chuckled lightly, "Are there anything the both of you dislike? Any allergies?"
"Nope for the both of us!" Yuuji replied, in your stead as well
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.
Orange painted the sky as the sun slowly drowned in the echoes of the river. It has been a long day for you, but it was yet to end.
A dinner that would've usually felt fast, felt like years.
Leaving Junpei's house early, when you would've usually stayed to have fun, this was so unlike you.
You were absorbed into your thoughts, thinking about how you felt, and about everything that had transpired that could be the reason why you started accepting the name.
You didn't want this. Or did you?
You hate the Gojo Clan? Or do you?
WHO ARE YOU?
I'm Y/N.
GOJO Y/N?
No, that's not me. I refuse to allow that to be me.
THEN ARE YOU SHIMORI Y/N?
No, that's not me either. That is the proof of my abandonment.
WHO ARE YOU, Y/N?
I... I don't know anymore....
WHAT
what
IS
is
IT
it
EXACTLY
exactly
DO YOU FEEL, Y/N?
do i feel?
I'm scared... I'm confused, someone please tell me how to feel. I need help, I want help. Someone please hold my hand and tell me that it's okay to be confused and scared. Someone please hold my hand and guide me through all of this. I don't want to think this all through by myself anymore. I have you, Yuuji, please help me...
YOU'RE NOT SCARED, YOU'RE NOT CONFUSED. STOP BEING DRAMATIC, STOP BEING A BABY. YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE, THEY'LL LEAVE YOU ANYWAY. DON'T BURDEN YUUJI, HE'LL WALK AWAY IF YOU KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR LIFE. YOU HAVE EVERYTHING, START BEING GRATEFUL, YOU SPOILED BRAT.
NO ONE WILL HOLD YOUR HAND AND GUIDE YOU OUT OF THIS. NO ONE HELD YOUR HAND SO NO ONE WILL EVER HOLD YOUR HAND.
But Nanami-san said... He said that it was okay for me to express whatever I'm feeling and that it was okay for me to be a kid. I can do this, I just need to try to reach out...
NANAMI-SAN? YOU JUST MET THAT MAN, Y/N. LISTEN TO ME INSTEAD, YOU'VE KNOWN ME YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
AFTER ALL, I AM YOU.
PATHETIC, AREN'T YOU? YOU LET SUCH A SIMPLE THING RUIN YOU.
YOU ARE WEAK, Y/N. YOU ARE STILL A WORTHLESS CHILD.
Everyone has these voices in their head; the type that hurls painful words at you. But yours... they're a little louder than others. The fear in you is loud.
You are in your fear's control.
You are listening to your fear.
If only someone was there to tell you to stop listening to your fear. Yuuji, too, had a lot on his plate, you could never blame him.
Palm to your head, you kept listening to your fear as it tightened its grip around your neck and as it poisoned you. The grass on the hill felt sharp against your skin, but you could care less.
This was the spot you chose to be at.
The hill where you spoke to Yuuji the night before he died.
STOP DISTRACTING YOURSELF, Y/N. YOU HAVE TO GET STRONGER TO PROTECT YUUJI FROM EVER DYING AGAIN.
Okay...
Then a sudden voice invaded your cacophonous thoughts, "Y/N, what are you doing out here in the dark all alone?" the pink haired boy called out, a look of worry etched onto his features.
A flash of that image shot through your mind; the sight of his blood on your hands and the feeling of his weight on you as you felt his body lose its warmth.
YOU SEE THAT? HE'S GOING TO DIE IF YOU CAN'T STAY FOCUSED AND IF YOU'RE GOING TO REMAIN SO WEAK. GET YOURSELF TOGETHER Y/N.
Okay.
Your face was frozen in fear.
Fear was in control.
"Y/N, are you okay?" Yuuji asked, his voice desperate.
YOU'RE FINE Y/N. TELL HIM YOU'RE FINE.
"I–"
'It is okay for you to be a kid'
For once, I just want the strength to reach out. I just want someone to grab hold of my hand and hold onto it.
"I'm not–"
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, Y/N?! HE'LL JUST LEAVE YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO MUCH!
He's not like that...
THEY'RE ALL LIKE THAT! NO ONE ELSE IS HERE, NOT YOUR FAMILY, NOT EVEN MR PRETTY EYES WHO YOU LOVED WITH ALL YOUR HEART. YOU WEREN'T STRONG ENOUGH FOR HIM, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU'RE STRONG ENOUGH FOR YUUJI? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH, HUH?!
NO, I HAVE TO TRY! I TRUST YUUJI! HE PROMISED NOT TO EVER LEAVE ME! SO LET ME TRY TO DO THIS!
you don't know what you're doing Y/N. you have to trust me!
stop it, y/n. don't say it–
"I-I'm not okay at all...!"
Free they are, those tears, those emotions; that inner child you hid.
Fear was no longer in control, you were in control.
a/n: hello, i am back, this isn't proof read and it's um kinda shitty but i hope it isn't too bad. i missed writing lol and i love reading all the comments that you guys have left while i was gone, some were really sweet and some were... a little questionable but it's okay, freedom of speech, am i right?
also i got a bone to pick with all y'all who thought gojo was y'alls dad. if y'all are 15/16 how is he gonna be your dad when he's only like 12/13 years older than y'all T^T
i literally doubted my whole story for a split second bc of the amount of comments i read that thought that gojo was y'alls dad T^T
but either ways, i'm really grateful for all the support that you guys have given! it's a miracle that there are even reads on this book so, thank you so so much! <3