I took a second to collect myself and made my way back to the heart of the function. Everyone around me was so happy and celebrating the love of our favorite couple, so I decided it would be best to put Mikey's antics behind me and enjoy the rest of the night.
As I approached the table where it had all occurred, I slowed down as I watched what was going on with the boys. I stood back and gazed with admiration as Sam, Josh, and Danny all fawned over Lina. She practically had them wrapped around her finger as they were all vying for her attention. It was so cute to see Josh interact with her; each day I was surprised at how good he was with kids. Lina had not stopped smiling for a second as he talked to her, she was truly mesmerized.
Obviously, it was still early in terms of my relationship with Josh, but I felt like we had a truly strong connection with one another. I had never felt the way I felt when I was with him, ever, and it was even the same feeling I had gotten when I first met him nearly a year and a half ago. I'm optimistic and I really feel like this could work out between us. I wanted us to be a family—Lina would have a dad, her real dad, and I couldn't help but picture him there for the future milestones of her life.
I was awoken from my daydream, rather suddenly, by the sound of Jake's voice.
"Hey," He said cooly, taking a place beside me.
"Oh, hi Jake, what's up?" I said, trying not to appear startled.
"I just wanted to talk to you."
"Okay... what about?" I asked skeptically.
"About before, I just wanted to clear some things up." He stated.
"Okay... yeah, I'm willing to hear you out." I said assuming the reasoning for this conversation was for him to explain why he had antagonized Mikey. Although Mikey had definitely been in the wrong with his outburst, Jake definitely wasn't innocent either. He shot me a puzzled look at my statement.
"So, Celine, how long did you say you've lived here?" He asked.
"Oh, um, I think this makes it going on six years now. I moved here for school and then I stuck around after I graduated." I replied hesitantly with a smile, which quickly faded as the gesture was not returned. He simply gave a nod in acknowledgement.
Why was he so on edge tonight? I thought this was going to be about what happened over dinner.
"You know, we've been here a few times over the years," he began, giving me a quizzical look. The expression had taken me aback but I dismissed it, attributing it to his rather reserved disposition.
"Oh really? That's great... I, uh, really like it here." I said growing more unsure where the direction of the conversation was headed.
"Seems like Mikey is pretty fond of you." He stated simply.
"I guess," I replied timorously.
"Is there any reason for that?" He pressed.
"Jake, what are you getting at?" I asked in annoyance.
"Have you and Mikey ever hooked up?" He asked, directly.
"Oh my gosh, Jake, No! He just has a stupid crush. We were friends and college and since graduating he was hoping it would turn into more, but I've never been interested in him like that." I exclaimed. I was growing more annoyed with Mikey by the second as his words and actions suggested there was more going on between us than there actually was.
"I'm just trying to make sure your intentions with my brother are pure." He clarified.
"Of course they are! I care about Josh a lot and I would never do anything to jeopardize that." I insisted.
Well, almost anything...
"Sorry, I just know he cares about you deeply and I would hate to see him get hurt."
"As would I." I echoed his concern.
We stood there for a second in silence, surveying the party as he sipped his drink.
"Have you always had brown hair?" He asked abruptly, eying me suspiciously, like my hair color was the key to my deepest darkest secrets.
"Well that took a turn." I laughed, but his expression remained humorless. I thought it was a rather odd question, but I answered nonetheless, "To answer your question, no, believe it or not I used to be a blonde in college." I replied. "My natural hair color was brown, and I decided to go back to it once I had Lina. I cut off a decent amount too. Having long hair with a little one who likes to grab onto things isn't ideal."
This conversation was beginning to feel more like an interrogation and it was making me uneasy.
What could he possibly be getting at?
"You know, Celine, you look awfully familiar. Are you sure we haven't met before?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow.
A fleeting wave of panic passed over me. There's no way he could know that Josh and I had slept together.
I hadn't even met Jake the night that I had met Josh... I thought to myself.
Suddenly, the run-in Jake and I had in the lobby when my phone shattered flashed though my mind.
I needed to relax, he couldn't possibly know.
"No, Jake, the first time I met you was after your concert when I was with Mikey, Teagan, and Chris. I don't recall meeting you prior." I said, nervously tucking my hair behind my ear. It wasn't fully a lie, when we had bumped into each other the morning after that night we hadn't introduced ourselves.
His eyes trailed down to my neck, following the movement of my hand as I moved my hair. "Oh my God, I knew it." He remarked as his eyes widened.
"What?" I asked my tone laced with confusion. I had told the truth, despite the fact that I omitted that I had been previously acquainted with Josh.
What was it now?
"I knew I recognized you. You're the girl Josh met at Flex, like two years ago." Jake said confidently.
"What?" I said in complete disbelief.
How could he possibly have known that from this simple yet strange conversation?
"Your tattoo, the zodiac signs. I know it's you. Josh took you home from the bar that night. Then for months he wouldn't shut up about the girl he had met with the big three zodiac tattoo behind her ear. He was enamored by you," he said, "You have to remember that night. I'm certain you do." He accused.
"Why did you skip out on him? Is that why you haven't told us that you know him, because you're embarrassed by that?" Jake continued with a newfound energy, now that his suspicions had been confirmed.
I was about to defend myself when I overheard Sam talking to Danny and Josh from the table nearby.
"Hey, Josh! Lina kind of looks like she could be your daughter! You two look so much alike." Sam laughed.
Jake and I whipped our heads in the direction of Sam as my jaw dropped.
"Yeah, you do have similar eyes." Danny remarked with a laugh.
"Well, she is adorable but I'm pretty sure I would know if I had a kid of my own running around, guys." Josh said in mock defense, holding Lina up next to his face with a smile.
I had always noticed the resemblance between Lina and Josh, but it wasn't glaringly obvious to those who were unbeknownst to the identity of her father. However, now it was staring anyone who may have had suspicions right in the face, due to their proximity at this moment; I silently prayed that they were all still none the wiser.
Jake returned his focus to me as his eyes widened.
"He's right isn't he?" Jake asked his voice barely climbing above a whisper attributed to his state of disbelief. I didn't even have to answer him, because the truth was already written all over my face. "This is what Mikey meant when he made that comment. I get it now." He stated plainly, the volume in his voice beginning to rise.
"You got knocked up by my brother and then once you realized he who he was, and what that could mean for you, you ended your relationship with Mikey and come crawling back to Josh," Jake spat. I looked nervously between him and Sam, Josh, and Danny to make sure they weren't aware of this conversation. Thankfully, they remained with their undivided attention on Lina.
"And now you're using him for your own benefit— having him perform at your friends engagement party, yet you don't have the decency to tell him about his own daughter! Do you expect a check now that you know he's famous?" He said with disgust dripping from his tone.
"Jake, please" I begged, "I can explain. Please let me speak to you... in private. I promise, I'll answer any questions you have. Just don't make a scene" I pleaded, grabbing his arm.
He tore his arm out of my grasp and took a step away from me. Thankfully, his eyes began to search mine, and he conceded once he determined I was being genuine.
"Hey guys?" I said, getting the attention of Sam, Danny, and Josh. "Do you think you could keep an eye on Lina for me for a bit longer? I'm going to show Jake where the bathroom is." I asked, making up an excuse on the spot.
"Of course!" Josh replied with enthusiasm. "She's in good hands."
"Yeah, and she loves us!" Sam reassured.
"Thanks guys, you're the best" I said with a fake smile plastered on my face. The grin fell as soon as I turned to follow Jake into the house.
We made our way across the backyard, and I followed close behind Jake as he kept a brisk pace, making his way toward the back door. At least he was allowing me the privacy I asked for, while also supporting the lie I had thrown out, in doing so. He stormed through the door leaving us both in the kitchen and he turned to face me expectantly. I closed the door behind me and cleared my throat.
"Okay, listen. I know this all seems really bad—"
"You think?" He deadpanned.
"Yes, I do think. Listen, please, just hear me out before you jump to any conclusions." I began.
"Isn't that why we're here?" He asked in annoyance.
"Yeah, I guess it is. Thank you for being willing to listen." I was stalling and he knew it. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Yes, Josh and I had met before, about two years ago at Flex. I remember it like it was yesterday, and it was definitely not a night that I'll ever forget if I'm being honest."
"You don't seem to be one for honesty, Celine." He rolled his eyes.
"Jake, I swear to you, I had, and still have, every intention of telling the truth. I was just waiting for the right time. Will you please just listen to the story?" I pleaded. He gave a slight nod in response and I took his silence as permission to continue.
"I had never even intended on going out that night. It was my mom's birthday, and It had been a month since she had passed away. I had been really upset for the days leading up to it. Teagan dragged me out to Flex because she wanted to cheer me up. She saw someone who she had a crush on, on the dance floor, so she left me at the bar, and that's when I ended up meeting Josh. We talked and danced and I had such a great night, and then one thing led to another and I went home with him." I looked toward the ceiling in an attempt to clear my teary eyes.
"Casual hookups have never been my thing, and when I woke up the next morning I was kind of embarrassed, so I ran out. I had no idea who he was, and I wasn't really sure what to do because I wasn't the one night stand type, so I panicked. I wanted to avoid any potential awkwardness, so I thought it would be best to just leave." I confessed, feeling my cheeks heat up.
I felt so vulnerable spilling my guts to someone who was practically a stranger, but I knew I had to be completely honest if I wanted even the slightest chance of continuing things with Josh.
I cleared my throat again, willing my voice not to break as I went on with the story. "So, um, after a bit... I, uh started to realize something. I hadn't, uh, really been taking care of myself as best I should leading up to that night because I wasn't in the best mental state. So, um a few weeks later my period was late, and I was terribly sick and I took a pregnancy test, and well, it was positive. I deliberated for a long time about what I should do, and I ultimately decided to go through with it. Keeping the baby was the best decision I've ever made and I don't regret it for a second. And nine months later I had Lina, well, her full name is Evangeline, but yeah."
I could feel myself getting emotional but I knew Jake probably wouldn't care, and there was still more that I had to say, so I pushed on with the story as I felt hot tears begin to stream down my face.
"I had no way to reach out to Josh, so I didn't. I figured he wouldn't want any part in raising her anyway since we didn't even know each other, so I just did what I had to do. I made the decision to go through with the pregnancy and raising her alone. I was fine, and I had some help. Not like any of that matters to you." His expression changed, but it was one I couldn't interpret. He kept quiet as he could sense that I had more to say.
"Chris, Teagan's fiancé, had two extra tickets to your concert. They invited me to go on a 'double date' with the two of them and Mikey. I had never even heard of the band that was performing, but I ultimately decided to go since I hadn't really gone out since Lina was born, and I insisted that if I was to go, it would be strictly platonic and not a date. When we got to the concert and you guys were the ones who came out on stage, I froze. I didn't know what to do because the last person that I would have expected to be standing in front of me performing was the man who I had a drunken hookup with, who also happened to be the father of my child. I had to act as normal as possible because no one, not even Teagan, knew what was going on. I held my composure until Josh handed me one of those roses that he gives out. It was all so overwhelming for me."
"Then after the show, I was surprised he showed interest in me. Things got worse when I began working with you guys because Josh kept saying that us running into each other was fate, and he insisted on taking me out to dinner, and that's kind of what happened in terms of the two of us getting together." I was rambling in an attempt to include all the details I could in as little time possible.
"I wanted to try out a relationship with him because I felt like we had a connection and I wanted to see where it could take us, regardless of the fact that he was Lina's father. I didn't want the idea of that to scare him away, and I didn't expect him to just assume responsibility for a child he had known nothing about for almost two years.
"Who he was had nothing to do with it. I didn't even know how famous you guys were when we first met after the show. I don't care about any of that at all, and if you think I'm just a gold digger looking for money, tell Josh and he can decide. I have nothing to lose except a shot at being happy with him. I've made it this far on my own, so if it isn't meant to work out, I'll be okay." I said that last bit trying to sound sure of myself, but I was positive my delivery lacked the conviction I so desperately hoped for.
Who was I kidding? I was terrified.
What happened next caught me by surprise. Jake pulled me in tightly for a hug. It was the emotional release I needed, and I began sobbing in his arms.
"Listen," Jake began, speaking softly. "You need to tell him, Celine. It's not fair to keep this a secret from him, and the longer you wait, the harder it will be for the both of you, and the more hurt Josh will be." He said breaking the embrace and putting his hands on his shoulders so we were face to face.
"I know, Jake. I'm just so scared. I know it hasn't been long, but I'm starting to develop real feelings for Josh. I haven't felt like this about anyone before, and I just don't want to mess things up." I sighed.
"Yeah, I get that. But, hey, you said it yourself, that it'll work out if it's meant to be." I wiped my eyes and nodded even though his words hadn't worked to console me in the slightest, which I think he recognized and continued, "Look, I know Josh better than anyone. He's a genuine guy and he goes to great lengths for those that he cares about. I can't speak to how he'll react when he finds out, but I'm sure that he'll end up doing the right thing whether you two stay together or not."
"I should probably head back before they start to worry," I said turning to head out the door. Jake stopped me and gave me one last quick hug before I made my way back to the boys and Lina.
Composure. I had to remain composed for the rest of the night.
"Hey pretty mama," Josh smiled as soon as he saw me. "look at me, I'm the baby whisperer." he gestured to Lina sleeping peacefully in his arms.
I am the worst person ever. The guilt was torturing me.
I sat down beside him and took Lina from his arms, putting her in her bucket seat. It was then that he got a closer look at me and noticed my tear-stained face, "Hey, are you okay, Celine?"
"Yeah, totally fine. Teagan's mom was showing me pictures from the engagement," I lied. "you know me with the waterworks." I laughed it off.
"Okay, darling." He said with a smile, rubbing my arm. "Hey, I had the greatest idea," He continued, slight intoxication peeking through in his tone.
"And what might that be?" I asked, locking eyes with him. He had such an effect on me, that even in the most tense moments I was a sucker for his charm.
"I was thinking, you and me should go away together. Just us, somewhere relaxing, romantic, and private." He said, emphasizing each of his words in an attempt to convince me. "We'll arrange for a sitter for and we can enjoy some well deserved alone time. Say yes, will ya?" He asked, his big brown eyes doing wonders to melt away my worries.
"Yes," I breathed, wanting nothing more than to just spend my time with him. I was so enamored by Josh that I made me forget about the storm that was about to come, only for a second.