21. I thought you were better than this
"It's been a week.. you should go home, I'll be fine..." Eevi mumbled from the couch where she was laying down, wrapped in a blanket.
I walked from the kitchen, drying my hands to my jeans. I was making some food for us, boys has been on festivals, they have interviews and much stuff to do. So, after Eevi left the hospital, I've stayed here in her's and Olli's apartment, taking care of her and.. maybe because I wouldn't feel so lonely.
I was standing in front of her, crossing my arms against my chest. She stared the tv with tired eyes, nothing interesting came from there. She looked like a zombie.
"They come back tonight, only few hours so I'll stay." I said determinedly. Eevi looked at me with her side-eye, not being impressed of what I just told her.
I sat down on the couch, further away from her.
"You want me to leave..? It's totally fine." I continued, she sighed quietly and rubbed her head.
"I just.. Olli has been different. Yes, he sents me a good night text every night and asks if I'm okay. He hasn't called.. I miss his voice and..." She struggled with her words, being frustrated. I frowned worried.
She turned her head fully to look at me.
"He's not okay, I know it. I have asked him about it, but he doesn't answer to that question." Her voice shaked a bit.
"Tonight you'll know. I will stay until he walks in from that door." I pointed towards the hallway, she tried to smile.
She tilted her head a little bit, studying me.
"You've been different too, in a good way. You seem to be happier." She smiled, I smiled and looked to my feet.
"I don't want to talk about my things when -" I tried to talk, but she stopped my words before I finished.
"Don't. You have all the rights to tell why you're happier. Don't think about my problems, they're just mine and.. Olli's. So, tell me." She sat up, then putting her hair on a messy bun while I stared at her smiling shyly, not knowing where to start.
"Well.. we kissed with Joonas." And when I said that, Eevi gasped shocked, but she started smiling.
"We were drunk, remember that." I chuckled and tried to calm her down. She shook her head smiling.
"I knew that you and Joonas have chemistry, I'm never wrong with these things. And you dared to say that you two have nothing!" She smirked frowning, I sighed but still smiled.
I shrugged my shoulders.
"He told me so sweet things in the next morning.. I thought that those things happen only in movies." I daydreamed while watching the black walls, but my eyes catched one picture. There was Eevi and Olli, they were walking and clearly laughing, looking at each other and holding hands.
They looked so happy in there.
We were silent for a minute, I think Eevi saw me watching that picture of them.
"I think we have been planning the weddings so much with Olli that we've forgotten to take care of ourselves more. He was very happy at spring when they were on America and Europe, touring and living his dream life.. a life he has always wanted. I remember when we were young, he talked how he wants to tour the world and play bass on a cool band." Eevi broke the silence, her eyes were on that picture too when I looked at her.
"And I'm so happy and proud of him. I love seeing him on stage, doing what he loves the most. And of course seeing my brother on the same stage." She smiled.
"What about you? What is your dream?" I questioned, making her silence.
Slowly her gaze landed on me, then she looked at her engagement ring and touched it.
"I've always wanted to be a wife one day, to a man who I love the most. And, your dream?" She looked at me under her eyebrows.
I opened my mouth a bit, trying to answer.
But I didn't get a word out. I swallowed loudly.
"Don't you have any other dream? Or a thing you want to experience?" I throwed her a question, not answering to the one she asked.
But, she didn't want to ask more about my dreams, she didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable.
She must know that I don't have any.
"Maybe I want to make my own music some day.. don't know." She shurgged her shoulders nervous.
"Then you should make it come true." I said and stood up, walking back to the kitchen to finish the food I was making.
We were sitting around the kitchen table, drinking tea and looking outside of the window. It was a bit rainy night, and a hot one. Maybe thunderstrom was coming.
Eevi looked at her phone nervous, but she put it back down on the table and let out a long sigh.
"No messages?" I asked, she shook her head disappointed.
Boys are late, or Olli is. None of them has texted anything, and it seems to be a bit weird. Not even Santeri, their tour manager. Eevi told me that if none of the boys texts that they're late, usually it's Santeri. I hope everything is fine.
"Olli was supposed to be here almost two hours ago." She mumbled, keeping her hand under her chin, leaning on it. I quickly texted to Joonas that where they are, I was getting nervous too when I saw how my friend was worrying.
Minutes passed, Eevi tried to call to Niko, Olli, Tommi and Santeri.
"Fuck..." She said pissed when even Aleksi didn't answer.
But then, just before she was going to call to Joel, the front door got opened.
We both kinda flinched and stared at each other suprised, but still relieved. We both stood up and walked closer to the hallway.
Olli and Aleksi were here, and they acted weird.
And when Olli almost fell while taking off the shoes, we both knew with Eevi that they're drunk. We quickly changed looks with her, she didn't look happy.
"Why you're drunk? Were you all drinking?" Eevi crossed her arms against her chest, but they didn't answer.
Olli was walking towards us, his balance was not good anymore. He stopped right in front of Eevi, I took a step aside. He smelt like strong alcohol.
"I'm.. sorry.. love..." His tone was unclear. Eevi shook her head, pissed and confused at the same time.
"If this is how you're processing my miscarriage.. you're just stupid. I thought you were better than this." Her tone was strong, she was very serious.
It seemed like her eyes were on fire, it made me nervous. Like, why am I here? I feel like I'm not supposed to be here now.
"And you." Eevi looked at Aleksi who stood further away at the hallway. Both of the men looked at their feet, like they were ashamed, as they should be.
"What the fuck is this? Fucking no one is answering to my calls or texts.. did you all drink like this?" She asked more angrier. No one answered.
"Aleksi!" She raised her voice, making us all flinch.
The black haired man clearly swallowed before taking one step forward.
"We.. well.. yes." Aleksi admitted. It made Eevi even more frustrated.
I was observing everyone, I even hold my breath a bit. The tension between those three was huge.
Olli looked like he was going to fall asleep.
Eevi shooked her head once more before placing her hand on Olli's shoulder. She started to lead him towards their bedroom, clearly annoyed.
So, now it was just me and Aleksi. I slowly looked at him, he stared the floor.
But we didn't talk, what we should have talked about?
We waited for a moment before Eevi came back to us, she crossed her arms once again against her chest. Aleksi looked at her under his eyebrows, he looked so innocent, but still, he was part of them.
He has drank too, maybe not so much. But he was still drunk.
"Aleksi.. why? We were so worried. Olli has acted weird anyway." Eevi sighed and talked with quieter tone, I think the bass player fell asleep right away.
Aleksi was playing with his fingers, he was nervous.
"I don't know.. literally. It was Niko's idea to go drinking. But.. he said that we wouldn't drink that much." He tried to explain. Eevi closed her eyes for a second and bit her teeth together.
"Niko was swimming in his self-pity. He was talking how he would became an uncle while we were drinking. He said many times how he was supposed to be a good big brother and take care of you." Aleksi continued. His words made Eevi chuckle and rub her forehead.
"What about Olli? Did he say anything?" Eevi asked.
Aleksi shook his head.
"He didn't talk at all.. he was with me and Tommi for the whole night. I saw him being annoyed about Niko." He answered.
Eevi nodded as an answer. She looked around, then pointed the couch.
"Aleksi, you should sleep here. You're too drunk to go home, you live too far away to go alone." She suggested. And it wasn't even an suggestion, she decided that. Aleksi only nodded while Eevi went to get him some blanket and pillow.
Now it was the two of us again.
Our gazes met accidentally, he only gave me a small and sweet smile, according to this situation.
I had to ask him one question.
"Where did Joonas go? To home, safely?"
Aleksi was clearly thinking.
"I don't know, maybe. I left with Olli, Tommi was going to help Niko go home because he would sleep there too. Santeri left with Joel..." He shrugged his shoulders. I bit my teeth together.
"Joonas.. left too. Don't know if he went with Santeri and Joel or alone.. or..." He continued, not being sure.
I felt some sharp feeling inside of me. Or..? Or what?
With a woman? No.. he wouldn't...
But.. he's drunk.. no...
Eevi went straight to the living room, making a bed to Aleksi in the couch. He gave me an apologizing look, walking past me. I stood there, completely unsure where Joonas could be. And if he's safe.
Eevi came up to me, sighing. And when she saw me staring the wall in front of me, she was probably confused.
"Hey.. you okay? I heard you were talking with Aleksi." She asked worried. I looked at her.
"He doesn't know where Joonas is.. and with who." I said without any emotion, then making my way to my shoes, putting them on.
"I'm sure he's fine, don't you worry. I could drive you home if you want." She suggested, but I shook my head.
"No.. I walk." I smiled to her while taking my backbag. She nodded and gave me a hug before I went to the door.
I placed my hand on the door handle, I quickly looked at her.
"I'm sure that everything will be alright again." I told her quietly, she only smiled and nodded.
I was walking down the small roads, making my way towards home. I was worried, anxious and nervous.
Like always, but now it felt bad. Like.. someone was clearly choking me. Sitting on my chest. A few people walked past me, others were drunk, someone was walking with a dog and one was jogging.
My phone was buzzing in my leather jacket's pocket, maybe it was Eevi, if I've had forgot something.
I took it out, and when I saw Joonas' name on the screen, my heart almost jumped out of my chest.
I felt my pulse getting higher. With my shaking hand I answered, placing the phone against my right ear.
"Joonas..?" I asked confused, but still unsure.
"No, it's Margaret, if you remember me." A woman's voice answered, I stopped walking.
Well, now I was freaking confused and scared.
"Where's Joonas?" I asked nervous, but still I tried to sound confident.
Maybe it was too hard mission for me.
She let out a small chuckle.
"Well, he's at my apartment, sleeping on my couch." She responded, she sounded pissed. I let out a sigh of relief, at least he's safe. Well, how safe he can be with that woman.
"He said he was behind your door, ringing a doorbell and no one came to open. He called to me and asked if he could sleep here, because my apartment is closer than his. Let me just give you one advice.. if you can't be his one night stand, then just tell him and he will change you to a better one like he always does." She continued, and her tone was mean.
I think she enjoyed this.
I frowned confused. I had so many words in my head, but I didn't say anything. Stupid me.
"I'm not a -" But when I was just about to tell her, she hung up.
What the fuck? I stood there confused and annoyed.
And I was disappointed to myself, he really was behind my door..? Fuck.
Oh.. so many things happened. What do you guys think?
4k reads! Wow, thank you <3 Thank you for all the comments and votes too, you're guys so important to me.
Next chapter coming probably on friday!
Stay safe and strong🖤