Our debut was, like our company expected, really successful and our group got nominated for the rookie award. We were even invited to perform our title song.
My friends from BTS, still didn't ask me about the new group that debuted, so I guessed that they didn't see it yet. I'm still really recognizable, so it can't be that they saw it, but didn't recognize me.
Tae and me barely texted after I debuted, because we were both busy, also my other friends from his group. But today was going to be the day, where we finally reunite.
My members and I were getting ready for the award show in the backstage styling area. The only other group that was getting ready in the same room as well, was a girlgroup called Itzy. They're a five member group under JYP entertainment. One of them always stared at us through the mirrory I even overheard her talking to the staff, asking them if she could talk to us. I'm not sure why, but she wasn't allowed to.
Is it because we're rookies? Or because we're from SM entertainment? That wouldn't make any sense though.
As if she could read my mind, Ji explained to me, that the whole not being allowed to talk to us thing, was because our entertainment wants us to not be distracted during our first few appearances on Shows and to take it seriously, to keep it professional.
Our Stylists finally finished our looks and told us to search for a staff member to show us the way to our seats.
On the way to our seats, I searched for my friends in the crowd, but I only saw an empty table which had a card that said BTS, on it. So I guessed that they were still getting ready. My group's seats were not that close to their table, which was a shame. But they should recognize me as soon as I walk on stage.
I saw Jaehyun and his members sitting close to us and he noticed me too, because he started smiling as soon as he saw me walking past them.
Hikaru told me to not look at other Idols too much, to avoid dating scandals.
That's when I realized, that my plan of surprising them might not have been the smartest, since they will probably have a really surprised reaction as soon as they see me on stage.
I'm so stupid
„Our senior Idols are already experts in not looking at Idols from different groups or giving any suspicious reactions to their performances. That's why we have to do the same and not ruin their career by creating a scandal or weird rumors." Hikaru added and now I hoped for them to not show any reaction. „Netizens see everything"
I then remembered, that exactly all of these informations stand in the papers, they gave us at the beginning of our debut.
The show started and Itzy were the first to perform. I was mesmerized by them. They were all so talented and professional.
I'm going to stan them
After some more performances, it was finally our turn. We already changed into our performance outfits and got ready to walk on stage.
The stage was dark when we walked to our positions. Then the song started to play and the whole stage lighted up.
I tried to not think about the fact that my boyfriend was in the crowd watching me and just focus on my performance, being professional like any other time.
During the middle of our performance I accidentally made eyecontact with Yoongi. But it showed me that they in fact, did not have any reaction to me literally being on the stage performing in front of them. Because his face didn't look surprised or anything.
I then shifted my eyes towards the person next to him. Which was a huge mistake.
My well trained muscle memories of this dance saved me from making any wrong steps and I was able to continue performing perfectly. I was also finished with all my rap parts, so there was only dancing and facial expression left.
But I was now having a literal staring contest with Tae, who looked insanely beautiful.
He did not blink once while looking at me. He seemed rather annoyed than neutral, but I didn't let it affect me. It was also not an obvious him being annoyed face, so still safe for the netizens, but I knew that face well enough.
He was definitely mad at me, for not telling him that I had my debut a while ago.
Which was understandable, but I did not care.
Because at the end of the day, he would be more proud than anything else.
At some point I looked away and we did the last part of our dance.
After finishing everyone cheered loudly.
„Our newest rookie group everybody" the MC yelled and everyone cheered even louder.
When I looked back at BTS their table, I noticed that Tae wasn't sitting there anymore. But I also saw how the other Boys cheered for our group.
Maybe I'll see him backstage was what I was hoping for. I'd have to somehow sneak away without staff knowing though.
When we entered the hallways in backstage I looked around if there would be any sign of Tae. Instead I saw Jaehyun walking into my direction, smiling brightly. „You and your group did amazing." he complimented us and I thanked him. The staff who were watching already knew that Jaehyun and me have been friends before I even became a trainee so they stopped caring about me talking to him and walked away to the styling room. Now there were only him and I in the hallways, no staff.
„Did you perhaps see Tae somewhere?" I asked him in a quiet tone and I started grinning. „Yes and I'm mainly here to have staff leaving you alone, so you can say hi to your lover." was the last thing he said and then he walked away without saying anything else. Suddenly Tae appeared and his face was still the same as during my performance.
„Hey" I said and laughed awkwardly. „Hey?" he scoffed and then raised his eyebrows. „when on earth did you debut and why the hell did you not tell me?" he asked in a quiet but angry tone.
„I wanted to surprise you?"
„well this sure was a surprise. But I thought I'd be the first person to know about it." now he just sounded hurt.
„Well-„ I started to say, but he interrupted me by grabbing my hand and basically dragging me to a dark room without any people in it. He closed the door behind us and even locked it somehow. „What exactly are you doing?" I asked him confused.
„I don't want staff to see us" he said and now I was even more confused. „Are you going to beat me up now that we're alone?" I jokingly said. „no. I just realized that you often do stuff without thinking, so I decided to not be mad at you anymore. Because I assume that you thought your idea was brilliant, but it was just stupid and you didn't mean anything bad by it."
This guy knows me too well.
But excuse me? Rude.
„So you're not mad at me anymore?" I asked and the next thing that happened, was him pulling me into a tight hug. „How could I be mad at you? I'm so proud of you my love"
I also know him too well.
I know that he can't stay mad at me for too long and he knows that I make stupid decisions without thinking.
I returned the hug and felt like crying. „I missed you so much." I could smell his familiar cologne. „I missed you even more and you look like an angel tonight"
He broke our hug and examined my face for a few seconds, looking deeply into my eyes, before planting his warm and soft lips gently on mine. My heart pounded in my chest as my knees started to get weak. Our lips moved in sync. I threw my arms around his neck to pull him even closer to me, so there'd be barely any space between us. One of his hands traveled through my hair and the other was around my waist. It went on like this for quite some time, until we were both out of breath. We didn't say anything and were still catching for breath, so there was a comforting silence in the room.
„Now that you debuted and I'm not that busy right now, we could meet up sometime. My apartment in Gangnam district shouldn't be that far away from your dorm. Also Jimin's been having sleepovers at my place for the last few days, so he'd be happy as well." he smiled widely, showing his box smile. „Yes of course, I'd spend every second with you if I could."
Someone knocked at the door and asked who's in there. Our eyes widened and we both started paniking.
„What should we do?" I whispered. „I have no idea." He answered, but then an idea popped into his mind. „I'm changing in here, can I please have some privacy?" he yelled and the person who asked, who I assumed was staff, immediately apologized after hearing Tae. We did not hear him walk away though.
„I'd also be glad if no one would wait in front of the door like a creep until I'm finished" he added and then we heard the staff member finally walk away.
„I still have to change my outfit" I suddenly realized. „I have to be on stage when they show the group who wins the rookie award."
„Let's leave quickly then" he looked if the hallway was clear and motioned me to come outside, to walk to my room. I kissed him goodbye quickly and went back to my room, my members were still in there and now looking at me confused. „I was on the toilet, because I suddenly got a stomach ache" I said and all of them, like always, didn't question anything.