The thing Lucy feared most in the world wasn't tangible, like her fear of insects. She didn't talk about it often, if at all. The only way she would mention it, is likely if you had a deep, long conversation with her and she brought it up. But the thought scared her so much, she daren't say it out loud, for what if this made it come true?
The thought of Narnia, Aslan, God, everything she believed in not being real, was the scariest thing in the world for Lucy Pevensie.
Ever since Lucy was a little girl she had been a huge believer. She believed in magic, and fairies, and love, and the goodness of people. She believed that every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings. She believed in faith trust and pixie dust, and angels, and that never growing up is the much better option. She believed in everything, and everyone.
So when she found a magical land called Narnia in the back of the old wardrobe at the professors house, she had no trouble believing it was real. Because Lucy had always believed that the impossible was possible. Narnia was just like a dream come true for her.
It tore her heart in half when her family dismissed her, and called her a liar. And she just couldn't understand why the wardrobe was empty when she tried to show them. She knew it was real, she knew she had been there. But they made her doubt it slightly, and this scared her.
Lucy was so excited to take them to Narnia, and introduce them to Mr. Tumnus. She made a new friend, and he saved her. She wanted them to see the lamppost she found in the snowy wood, because it gave her a feeling she just couldn't explain. And Lucy wanted her family to feel it too.
But it was gone, and she didn't know why. Though her siblings made her have doubts, Lucy knew it was real, and she needed to go back. And her siblings needed to come with her.
So, late that night, she found her way back to the wardrobe, with a burning candle in her hands. Young Lucy hesitated before opening the wardrobe door. Had it all been real? Did she just have an overactive imagination? What if she opened the door to disappointment once again? No. She told herself, she knew it was real and it happened. It would be worse if she never opened the door again, never knowing what could have been; than if she opened the door and found out it was all a dream.
Lucy opened the wardrobe door, and the flame atop the candle in her hands, was blown out by the wind from the wardrobe. Narnia was real, just like she knew. Lucy smiled widely, and stepped into the wardrobe, ready to see her friend Mr. Tumnus again.
Eventually, all the children found Narnia, proving that Lucy had been right all along. They apologized, and she forgave them. And Lucy thought, if this ever happened again, her family would believe her. Because she had been right about Narnia.
Unfortunately, Lucy was proved wrong on her second trip to Narnia. She saw Aslan, saying to follow him, but nobody else saw him. So, once again...they didn't believe her.
Peter was convinced it was an ordinary lion that Lucy mistook for Aslan. Susan never found it easy to believe in the unseen. Edmund was the only one who believed her, because last time he didn't, he was proven wrong. So it only seemed logical to believe her this time. But Peter and Susan didn't see it this way.
In the end, she had been right once again. Just like the time before, her family apologized for not believing her. But she struggled with all of this more than she let on.
Lucy always believed in things strongly, she always had a steady and unwavering faith. But, the things she believed in the most, so much so that she knew they were right in her bones, were the same things her family always thought to be untrue. And this made her doubt herself. She still had a strong faith, but this made it harder for her, and it hurt her. Lucy's belief and faith was the very foundation of who she was, and when people doubted this-especially her family- it killed her.
From the moment Lucy laid eyes on Aslan, she felt safe, warm and protected. She knew she was in the presence of powerful glory. She knew he was good, and that he loved her, and she trusted him. She had faith in Aslan to help the moment she met him.
She was proved right when he saved Edmund, and died so that he could live. But then, through a power so great humans can hardly comprehend it, He rose again. He defeated death itself, giving it no power or victory.
It was in this moment that Lucy truly understood just how powerful Aslan was. He died, because he loved Edmund, and wanted him to live. Even after all the mistakes he made, and would make in the future; because nobody is perfect. Lucy had never known a love so unconditional, forgiving, strong, and great. And she knew Aslan loved her just as much as he loved Edmund. Lucy decided then and there that she would always trust Aslan, and have faith in him, no matter what anyone said.
And, she did. Even when she returned to a Narnia filled with people who doubted Aslan even existed, Lucy still believed in him. Though Narnia had been taken over by Telmaraines and the Narnians had to hide in the woods to survive, Lucy never lost her faith. She didn't understand why it was happening, but she still trusted Aslan.
In the end, Aslan returned, and set the Narnians free, putting the rightful King on the throne. Lucy knew he would come back and everything would be put right. She had faith in Aslan all along.
Lucy faced the entire army, with Aslan at her side. At first, she was filled with fear, but seeing Aslan next to her, washed the fear away. She had courage to face the whole army with nothing but her dagger. After all she had Aslan on her side, and Lucy knew she couldn't lose with him. In this moment, she truly felt like Queen Lucy the Valiant; all because of Aslan.
During her final trip to Narnia, Aslan once again was not physically there with her. But, Lucy knew he was watching out for her, and all of Narnia. In the moments she was filled with fear, she called out to him, like she always had. But this time, Aslan whispered in her ear "Courage Dear Heart." And Lucy immediately felt brave again. Just like she had, when he stood next to her as she faced the Telmaraines.
Lucy never needed to see Aslan to know he was there with her. "He'll always be coming and going." She learned this when she first became a queen of Narnia. But that never meant he wasn't there, Lucy knew Aslan was always there. Whether she could see him or not. She never needed to see to believe, even as a child she believed in the impossible. This made believing in Narnia and Aslan much easier for her.
Trusting Aslan was easy for Lucy too, most of the time anyway. Sometimes it was difficult, even if she knew he was right. Like when she had to leave Narnia, and say goodbye to him forever.
Lucy knew that Aslan knew exactly what he was doing, but it was hard for her to understand why she couldn't come back to Narnia. After all Narnia was her home, Aslan was her home. Now she had to leave and never come back? How could this be Aslan's plan for her? For her family? Leaving was painful, and difficult, and the hardest thing Lucy ever had to do. But she trusted Aslan, even when she couldn't see the reason why, Lucy still trusted him.
With time, she found Aslan's name in our world, just like he told her to. His name was Jesus. And learning this, filled Lucy with joy, and brought her great comfort. Now she had an entire book to read all about Jesus! She was so excited to learn everything she could about Him.
So, Lucy read the bible. She studied it, and she prayed. Her curious little mind had so many questions, because the Bible isn't always easy to understand, not even for people who have studied it their whole lives. Peter and Edmund answered some of her questions, and she answered some of theirs. But some questions they all had, but never found the answer. So they prayed, and God answered.
Lucy's faith was stronger than ever after some time. She read her bible and prayed each morning. She took morning walks, talking to Jesus as if he stood right next to her. She went to church every Sunday, and even sang in the choir. Lucy found God, and her purpose, and herself, and she was thriving.
But, it wasn't always perfect, not even the strongest of Christians have it all together. Nobody is perfect after all. Even Lucy, the believer, had her doubts.
She knew God was real, and that the Bible was true. But sometimes, it was hard to keep her faith. Lucy was ashamed of herself when she found herself having doubts. It happened many times after a talk with Susan, or sometimes a fight; which the sisters seemed to have more often then not these days.
Lucy told Susan how God and the bible had changed her life, and she meant every word, and she believed every word. But sometimes Lucy wondered, why God would let Susan drift so far away from Him? And from Narnia. She knew it was up to Susan to make her own choices, that's why God gave everyone free will. But it just broke Lucy's heart when Susan said Narnia was a game, and it hurt her very soul when she said God wasn't real.
She knew God was real, better than most people on earth probably did. But sometimes, after a very difficult fight with Susan, normally one that ended with Lucy crying; she had her doubts. The smallest, tiniest part of her, would wonder if she was wrong and Susan was right. What if her faith was all for nothing? What if everything Lucy built her life on, believed in, was prepared to die for, was nothing but a lie? What if Narnia actually never happened, and it was all a dream in Lucy's mind? What if Aslan wasn't real? What if everything Lucy believed was a lie?
When these thoughts raced through her mind, Lucy felt like her entire world was falling apart. Nothing was more scary than God not existing.
If there's no God, then there is really no point. No hope. Without her faith, without her belief in God, belief in a future without pain and sin, belief that it gets better, belief that defines morality, belief that gives her a way to define who she is. Without her belief in a much greater story, and an eternal life of joy with Jesus, Lucy had nothing.
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A/N: Thus concludes my Pevensies Worst Fears one shots!!!! I hope y'all liked them!!! Which one was your favorite? I think my favorite is Edmund's but Lucy's is the most personal and meaningful to me. I loved Susan's too though❤️