✨You can be so cruel sometimes.
Most of the time.
All the time.✨
I mostly daydreamed about Nick. About our future. I started doing that recently. It is not the future of marriage, more of the future of moving in together in a small apartment on the nicer side of the city.
I could see Chloe and Jade moving in together soon for some reason in Chloe's penthouse. So if I had the apartment to myself, I'd ask Nick to move in. I don't care if I had to make the first move. I'd do it.
I decided on making dinner for us tonight. Nick had been stressed and Micheal... he's mostly out partying 'like an American' as he said.
Letting myself in the loft with no problem at all, I get started on dinner for us. Honestly, the dinner had a purpose too. I wanted to tell him the three big words that I never said to him. Call me a tween but it was a big deal for me. Saying it out loud to Nick. I was nervous.
I spread a white cloth on the round table and set all the fancy dishes I got from my place. Wine glasses sat on the table while the expensive wine I bought chilled in the freezer for a while.
I made creamy pasta with shrimp and garlic bread for dinner. Chocolate soufflé for dessert. I even wore this white lace lingerie that I bought recently under my red dress. Every thing looked perfect and I was waiting for everything to go in perfectly too.
I had made sure from Micheal before I saw him that if he'd become early and he knew why I asked him that, that he assured he'd be crashing off with some girl he met last night.
Please let all this go smoothly, Lord. Don't make me embarrass myself. Don't make me wish that I could transport to another room in an instant.
I prayed and the door opens. Nick looks rather gloomy tonight.
He doesn't even look up, just walks to the stairs lost in his thoughts. He doesn't say anything until I call out his name.
"Huh?" He looks at me and then at the set-up table with the candles lighted. His gaze goes to the red dress I wore with the deep neck that gave a lot of definition to my breasts and my hips. He smiles, taking off his bag "What's all this?" He kisses my cheek and looks back at the table "Is this a date? You're making me feel all special right now." I smile "I just wanted to do something nice. You've been stressed."
"When I look at you, all I feel is at peace."
"Cheesy."
"You love it."
He gently pulls me in for a soft kiss "How about we skip dinner and skip to the night we've both been waiting for?" When his kisses trail to my neck, I'm so tempted to just let him do it. Tempted to not talk but scream when he's in me. But I had to remind myself what I had to do.
I don't even know when he unzipped the dress from the side and pulled the strap down my shoulder. I tell him "Wait. Just let me say something and then we can skip dinner." He moans deepening his kisses on my neck I gasp. He gently bites "You can talk while I do this." I smile and push him gently "No, you need to listen to me."
When he backs up, it's all lust in his eyes.
I say "I need to tell you something." His lips pressed into a thin line "You're not pregnant, right?" I burst out laughing "No! Not pregnant. Not at all. Not yet." He whispers "Thank god."
For some reason that pinched my heart a little. I could see a future with him. A happy future.
He watches me struggling to get the words out. I put my hands on his shoulder and push him down to sit on the chair. He huffs "So we're gonna be doing on the chair instead of the bed? I dig it. Come here." He pulls me in by grabbing my waist but I smile "Not yet. Listen to me first." He looked up with a smile while his hands rubbed up and down my hip "What's up, Curvy?"
That comfort touch- I wanted that forever.
I get on my knees between his legs and his brows knit together most adorably. I look up at him and he leans closer enough till I can feel him breathing on my skin "Nick- I..." I bite my bottom lip because this was hard. Even though I practiced it twice since I started making dinner and it shouldn't be this hard. I mean the guy saw me naked and had sex with me multiple times. Why are three simple words much harder than sex? This is bizarre.
I went for it. I said, "I love you." I smile when I finally say it out loud and wait for him to kiss me hard till my lungs burn with no air in them.
He just rests his back against the chair and huffs in anger "Fuck."
Okay, not the reaction I was expecting.
"You shouldn't love me."
Not the answer I was expecting either.
He shakes his head "Why would you do that? Weren't you happy with what we had? Wasn't that enough that you had to go saying those words to ruin it all completely?"
What did I do?
How did I ruin this?
I ask "Is this only one-sided? Is my love for you only one-sided? You don't love me?" He sighs "Of course, I love you. But not in the way you think." This got me confused and he could read it all over my face. He grabs my face and leans closer "You're amazing. You're a great girl. The best I've ever had in my life. You're the type that I want in my life forever. The good in my life. But if you think I'll say it back- please don't keep your hopes up. I won't. I will never say it back to you." Tears falling down my cheek and he cursed again under his breath "Lana, I'm sorry."
"You don't love me? Was all the time we spent together mean nothing?"
"Of course, it means everything to me. You mean everything to me. Just not enough to spend my life with you. Have you forgotten? I'll be going back to Italy in a month, Lana. And I won't come back."
Oh yeah. He was here for six months.
I cry "So you came back into my life, telling me how amazing I am. How much you couldn't stop thinking about me only to leave me again? Do I not matter?
"Lana, you're getting this all wrong!" He wipes my tears "First, stop crying so you can understand this."
"Understand what? That you played with me? Told me lies?"
He says strictly, using my whole name "I never lied to you, Alana." I ask "So what is this? What we have between us, what is this? A joke? A way to pass your time before you go? A way to push away the boredom?" I stood up and sniffed "If you didn't say it back, I would've understood. I wouldn't have forced you to say it back. But the fact you're not accepting this, is... hurting me, Nicklaus." He stands up to his height and looks down at me "Lana, I- I never wanted you to be in love with me. I just wanted us to make a memory together. That's it. I just wanna be your good memory, not your future. You can't make me your future and I will not make you mine." He grabs my arms softly "I'm not the type you can have forever."
I ask as my voice breaks at the thought "So you want a future with someone else?" He shakes his head "No. I don't want a future with anyone." He holds my face and presses a kiss to my quivering lips "You can't make me your future. You shouldn't." That made me cry even more. I cry even harder "Please don't leave me." Resting my forehead against his chest, crying loud in sadness that he will leave me and I will be alone in a month or early. He did everything to comfort me. He kissed my head. Kissed my hands. Rubbed up and down my back in soothing motions. He did everything but say it back or told me that he won't leave.
He did everything but say it back.
I sniff "I need some air." And I pull away. Grabbing my jacket and went out the door. He followed but I did not care.
I went down the stairs, putting my jacket on. And as soon as I'm out the door, I'm pulled into a hug. I knew that touch all too well.
I look up at him and sniff. He wipes off my tears "I'm sorry." And puts his hand on my cheek. When I lean against his touch, he's pulled away from me by Nick. And the next thing I know they're punching each other. At first, it was Nick pinning Harvey down but the next it was Harvey pinning him down. Throwing punches at each other and shouting curses and yelling at each other that it was the other's fault. I cried so much that I couldn't even tell them to stop.
Their noses bleed and their lips busted open. Their shirts filled with each others blood and the next thing I know, the cops are here. Pulling them away. It all happened in an instant that I couldn't grasp any of it. I was just too much trying to stop myself from crying that I didn't say anything. And I felt bad.
This is all because of me. I'm the crook.
This is my fault
•••••
They next time you see updates to this story, it'll be the end of it. So be a little patient with me, my loves, I want you guys to have the best ending.
I hope you liked the new chapters and comment down who you think Lana should end up with. I'll see you guys soon.
Love, Hope
♥️♥️