After the doctor is done and excuses himself, Ren leaves quickly after him too. Austin does not acknowledge either man's exit, choosing to rather stare Holi down. She would be lying if she said his stare did not give her butterflies, she is practically giddy. He is leaning with his elbow on the table, his hand draped over his mouth - it makes his eyes stand out more. The air feels electric.
Her skin prickles as he continues to watch her. She tries to break the tension by offering him a small smile but he does not react the way she hoped. Rather, all it does is makes his stare intensify and now she feels like an ant trying to dodge a sunbeam under a magnifying glass. She is not sure what to do. She can't stay seated on the bed so she breaks eye contact and stands but then is not sure of her next move. Her eyes shoot back to his. He has not moved but fucking hell, his stare is galvanizing and she feels frozen in place.
Eventually, he stands, places his hands in his pockets, and walks toward her with lethargic nonchalance. His every step pulls the coil in her chest tighter and when he reaches her, he does not stop. Her reaction is to walk backward until she slams into the wall with her back. Austin crowds against her then slowly pulls his hands out of his pockets and leans them on the wall, either side of her head. Holi holds her breath.
He leans down so he is eye level with her, "you got games, Holiday," he says, well it's more of a mumble, and his breath fans over her lips making her knees feel a little weak. She shakes her head, not trusting her voice right now. Austin cocks his head and raises one eyebrow in question to her denial. "No? How about you click your tongue at me again then... let's see what happens," he challenges her, his voice is low and husky - Holi wants to fucking melt. All her nerve endings feel like they are on fire.
She should not goad him. He has had a rough few weeks and he has had to accept her stance on marriage of late. She should just give him a break, let him be. She should pull him in and apologize for doing something he asked her specifically not to do as it clearly irritates him and he had given her fair warning. She lets out a defeated sigh and opens her mouth to apologize.
Austin catches the defeat in her stance so he lets a small satisfied smile form on his lips even before she gets her words out. Little premature, Holi thinks. A little too smug. Then there's a clicking sound. A distinctive tongue clicking sound. She knows she is done for when Austin's eyes widen and he pulls back slightly in shock. She really should have more control over her body. Shameful. She sucks her cheeks in as she tries to hold her laugh in.
Austin is also having a tough time holding back his smile. Eventually, he loses the battle and a shit-eating appears on his face, "she does have games," he says then grabs her waist and flings her onto the bed. She lands with a thud, a little disorientated. By the time she rights herself Austin is already crawling over the bed toward her, "and I would expect nothing less," he says then grabs her ankles and pulls her to him.
She slams into him with a squeak and then lets out a squawking laugh as his thumbs dig into the sensitive spots on the sides of her hips. She knows he is not going to stop until she promises never to click her tongue at him again. Holi knows she does not have the willpower not to click her tongue at him just to rile him again up in the future - especially if this is her punishment. She refuses to promise him that. She has no choice but to play dirty.
"Stop, stop - you are hurting me," she shouts between her squawking. Austin immediately lets her go and when she looks at his face she fully regrets her words. He is looking at her like he just kicked a puppy. "Shit, baby. I am sorry - I never meant to hurt you," he worries his bottom lip as he talks. Guilt creeps up on her, Austin has never hurt her. He is always very careful with how he touches her.
Holi is quick to scramble into a straddle on his lap, pressing her palms to his cheeks. He hesitantly wraps his arms around her and Holi does not like that. She belongs to him and she never wants him to feel hesitant to touch her. "You did not hurt me. I was just saying that to get you to stop tickling me," she says quickly. Austin leans back and frowns, he is really mad. "Holiday!" he punches her name out in annoyance, "I thought I had hurt you. Don't do that again. I mean it."
Holi feels guilty, he was really worried and now very annoyed. "I promise. I am sorry," she says. He still looks angry so she slides her hands down to his neck and then slowly over his chest, running her thumbs over his nipples. She does not miss the slight hitch in his breathing. She watches her hands continue their slow descent down to his abdomen and then she lets them rest on his prominent love handles.
She can feel the taut muscles under her hands, begging to be squeezed. She loves the way her hands look on him and she selfishly wants to have him tattoo their outline onto his skin. She lets her eyes trace up his abdomen again until they reach the center of his pecks then she leans forward and places a gentle kiss there. Austin's breath hitches again. She slowly kisses a trail up his chest until she gets to his jugular.
She bites down on it at the same time as she grinds down onto Austin with her hips and squeezes his love handles. He lets out a grunt and bucks up his hips to increase the friction between them. Holi hears his phone beep with the indication of a message, but they are too busy for her to worry about shit like that so she ignores it. Austin on the other hand does not.
He pushes Holi away gently and coos at her annoyed whimper, "sorry, love. Any other time I would have ignored it. But..." he lets his explanation trail off as he leans over and grabs his phone from the bedside table. He opens the message but hides it from Holi's view, "excuse me. A little privacy would be nice," he says with a playful tone. Holi does not appreciate his tone.
She gets off his lap and then off the bed, making sure to keep her glare on him. Once off the bed, she stamps off the bathroom, "no one wants to see your stupid messages anyway," she throws over her shoulder as she gets to the bathroom door slamming it shut when she hears Austins chuckle.
She uses the toilet and then comes back out to see Austin now sprawled out on the bed like he is on a summer holiday. He is still grinning. He pats the open side of the bed and gestures for her to climb on. She does, but only with the intention to lay down with a large gap between them - to prove her point of course. She does not know what point she is proving but nonetheless it will be proven.
She does not get far in her plan though because as she goes to lie down Austin grabs her arm and pulls her toward him till she is draped over his body. "Do you want to see the message, baby?" he asks, she can hear he is trying to hide how endearing he finds her silly tantrum. He is doing a shit job of it because the endearment pops out in every word.
She wants to read the message and she wants to know who it's from, and why they sent it to him. She wants to know everything about it. But she also will never, never let him know that. She will spite herself and never, never read that message. Not ever.
"No," she bites out and pouts into his chest, "I would sooner become friends with Liza than read your stupid message," she adds for good measure. Austin's Chest vibrates as he laughs at Holi's words. She can't help the smile that slips onto her lips at the sound of his laughter - it's contagious.
They lie like that for at least an hour and if it was not for that dull thumping calling for her, she would have fallen asleep. She tries her best to keep her eyes closed and concentrate on how Austin is softly running the tips of his fingers up and down her back. Eventually, she resigns to the fact that it's not working so she jumps off the bed.
Austin sits up and looks at her with confusion. "Sorry. I just can't lie down anymore. Can we do something?" she asks. Austin looks at his watch and then back at her, "it's pretty late in the afternoon, baby. I think-" the stamp of Holi's foot cuts him off. "No, you don't understand. I need to do something...please," she begs. Austin frowns but then raises his eyebrows when he suddenly realizes what she means. She needs to do something. Keep herself busy.
Austin gets off the bed and looks around the room, either looking for something for her to do or considering his options. Holi is not sure. He checks his watch again then turns to her, "want to go for a walk on the beach?" He finally asks. Holi does not answer him, because she is already walking out the patio door. Austin speedwalks to catch up to her and tangles her fingers with his, pulling her to a stop.
"Stop, baby," he says and makes her look at him, "are you ok?" Holi nods, "I am fine, I just need to keep myself busy. Keep myself on top of it," she says and starts walking again. Austin keeps his hand in hers and walks down to the beach with her.
The beach is nice. It's been a hot day and even though it's late in the afternoon it's still pretty hot. The sea breeze is strong and even though they have a pretty good view it's obscured by what could be mistaken as a light mist in the air - a result of hot air and sea spray. After walking away from the house for about ten minutes Austin grows a little antsy and insists on turning back to the house.
"I just want to go a little further," Holi tries to reason, "please." She can tell Austin wants to say no, but he relents and agrees to five more minutes. Quite a few families are enjoying the late afternoon, it's a secluded beach so Holi assumes they are from the local houses just like her and Austin. The misty air makes the families look like ghosts in the distance until they get closer. She also takes solace in the odd shrill of laughter escaping from a happy kid as they run about with their families.
She hears a kid shouting for his mom off in the distance and it pulls on her heartstrings. Any doubts she had this morning about relapsing or not being ready to speak to Mac and Bell have completely vanished. She needs them and craves them. Her mind is made up - when they get back to the house she is going to insist that Austin take her home. She has been gone for too long. It's time. She can not wait any longer.
She hears the kid shouting for his mother again and it sounds like it's coming from behind her. Out of curiosity she stops walking and looks over her shoulder. She sees a young boy in the distance, still a ghost-like figure in the mist. She can see though, that he is running at full speed. He is running so fast that his arms are jotting back and forth, his legs are almost blurry as they kick up the sand behind him and the wind is whipping his hair like a horse's mane.
As he gets closer he shouts out for his mother again, at the top of his voice. That voice. Holi suddenly drops Austin's hand, turns, and sprints forward. Her chest burns as she gulps in the salty sea breeze, but she does not care. She does not slow down, rather, she pushes herself to go faster, ignoring how her thighs burn as she hears the boy shout, "mom!" again.
She sees nothing else but the young boy coming at full speed toward her while he continues to shout, "mom!" It's Mac and she needs to get to him as soon as she possibly can. Her chest continues to burn, her legs scream and she can feel her cheeks are wet with tears, but she pushes on.
When Mac is a meter away from her he leaps, sails through the air, and slams into Holi. The force practically propels Holi backward as his arms and legs wrap tightly around her. She grabs onto him just as tightly as she falls on the sand with Mac. His little body shakes with his sobs and Holi is no better. She is a wreck.
"I will never let them take you again. I am sorry. I love you," Holi repeats into the top of Mac's head as he hiccups, "ok, ok, ok," he says into Holi's chest. He fists her shirt in his hands and clings on even tighter as if he is expecting a wave to crash over them and drag her away. Holi pulls him in even tighter as she continues her words and buries her face in his hair. She will never let go. Never.
She does not know how long they stay in their little bubble. It's just her and Mac, she can't stop clinging to him and repeating her words every time his little, "ok," drifts up to her ears. Then she feels little hands on the back of her neck and when she looks to her side she sees Bell standing next to her with a big bright smile.
"Hello, Mommy. I miss you," she says in a happy voice. Then she pushes her way in between Holi and Mac. Mac loosens his grip only just enough to let Bell squeeze in, ignoring her annoyed whine when he tightens the hug again. "Mac, too much squished," she complains. Both Holi and Mac let out watery laughs.
"I love you both so much," Holi says to Mac and Bell. Bell looks up at Holi from her little cave and flashes Holi another big smile, "I love Mommy," she says. "I love you too, mom," Mac answers. Her eyes scan over them. They look good, healthy, and well taken care of. They are ok. "We will never be apart again. I promise," Holi needs them to understand that.
Mac grins and nods, "I know. We are like a real family now, mom," he answers easily. Bell is quite so Holi looks down at her. Bell is looking up at her with a little frown on her face. She then points a chubby little finger at Holi. "You don't go away again," she says sternly. Holi giggles at her and shakes her head, "never again my Bell," she says. "Ok good because I cry for you."
Holi pulls them in closer and hugs them. When she looks over the top of Mac's head she can see Austin standing near them with his hands in his pockets, a soft smile, and icy blue eyes. She knows what was on that message now and why he kept checking his watch. "Come here," she mouths to him. He comes closer and crouches down near the three of them. Holi reaches out and wipes his cheeks, "thank you," she whispers to him.
"Austy, safe me. I am squished," Bell's muffled voice seeps out between Holi and Mac. Austin chuckles then sticks his hand between Holi and Mac and pulls Bell out. Wrapping her in his arms, "wow," she says and wipes fake sweat from her brow, "that was too much hug." She has all three of them laughing at her genuine relief of surviving that hug.
Austin stands then puts out his hand to help Holi up who in turn pulls Mac up with her. Mac keeps his hand firmly in hers and Bell leans over, wanting Holi to hold her. Austin hesitates, not knowing if she can manage but Holi holds out her free arm to take Bell. They walk back to the house in silence, needing the moment to just calm their emotions down. Holi can feel Bell's little body grow heavy as she falls asleep.
She nudges Austin who takes Bell carefully and cradles her in his arms while Mac moves even closer to Holi. As the beach house comes into view nerves stab at Holi's chest and she stops walking. Mac and Austin stop alongside her with curious faces.
"I assume your parents are in there," she says. Austin nods, "yes. They left us on the beach - felt we needed a moment to ourselves." Holi doesn't know how to process what is going through her mind right now. She wants to meet them, but she is not sure she can. What if...what if she is just not good enough.
Austin knows her fears, he understands her worry. He steps in closer, kisses her, and looks at her, "trust me," he says softly. Mac squeezes her hand, "you will love them, mom. Austin's dad is like a magician, he does magic tricks and has even taught me how to do some. Austin's mom is amazing she likes to hug everyone and if you ask politely she will make you a sandwich with whatever you want on it. I also told them all about you and they told me that they really want to meet you. They think you are very special."
Holi bends down and pulls Mac into a hug, "thank you, Mac. let's go inside," she says and stands up again. She nods to Austin and lets him lead the way. Ren is waiting by the front door and Holi can see he looks nervous as they walk up, his eyes are trained on Holi. "You ok?" he asks when they reach him. Holi gives him a warm smile and nods. She is still nervous so she hugs Ren and lets the hug ground her a little, and soothe her. "They will love you, girl. But I will be right behind you," he whispers in her ear.
"Baby, what do you want me to do with Bell? I can take her to our room for now if you like," Austin asks. Holi is shaking her head before he even finishes. "No. Please. I would like to keep her with me," she just can't bring herself to lose sight of Bell. Austin smiles and gives her a wink, "sure thing. Ok, come on let's go."
Holi follows Austin into the house, Mac still holding on to her hand tightly. She is thankful Austin is so big because she can't see past him so he is acting like a buffer zone for her right now. Eventually, he stops in the archway Holi knows leads into the den. She should step out from behind Austin but her nerves freeze her joints and she can't move.
It's annoying. She has never given a shit about what anyone thought of her. Expecting the judgment and shaking it off as not her problem. But this is different and she finds herself desperate for Austin's parent's approval. Austin has not moved and she is grateful that he is a patient man and prepared to put up with her shit.
She looks at Mac who is not looking at her but suddenly has a smile break out on his face. She follows his eye line and sees a man peeping over Austin's shoulder at her. He has kind eyes and a soft smile - they ease some of her nerves. "hi," he says softly. Holi grips the back of Austin's shirt, "hi," she says back. The man steps around Austin and leans down a little, "I am Rich Post. Austin's father and Mac's best friend," he says. Mac nods and fist pumps him.
Holi puts her hand out, and Rich takes it and starts shaking it. "I am Holi. Thank you for looking after my children," Holi says. Rich's grin splits his face, "Well Holi it's a pleasure to finally meet you. And I must say you have got some pretty amazing kids. I enjoyed spending time with them and I hope to spend more time with them in the future," he says. He is so nice and Holi feels herself relaxing as she nods in agreement with Rich spending time with Bell and Mac.
She looks over her shoulder to Ren who shoots her a grin and a thumbs up.
"Dad, take Bell please," Austin says handing Bell over to Rich who happily obliges and cuddles Bell to his chest. Austin then takes Holi's hand and flicks his head in the direction behind his father. Rich moves aside and a woman comes into view across the room. She is beautiful. Suddenly all the confidence she had a second ago has drained away.
Austin's mom not only looks kind and friendly but she has an elegance about her that Holi had only ever seen in those movie perfect moms. Are those pearls around her neck? Holi is fucked. There is no possible way she stands a chance with this woman. Holi suspects she will be polite, shake Holi's hand then exit in a hurry and demand Austin cut all ties with her.
Austin pulls her gently closer and with every step, Holi feels like she is a lamb being led to the slaughter. Mac is still clinging to her other hand so Holi has no choice but to face her fate. Once she is standing right in front of her Holi realizes it is worse than she expected. Austin's mother is flawless.
Their eyes connect for a second then suddenly she is wrapping her arms around Holi and bringing her close. Holi's head slips into the crook of her neck. Her perfume is a soft floral scent and it calms Holi immediately. Her jumper is soft and fluffy, the fibers cushioning Holi's cheek and she finds herself sighing into the hug, while Austin's mom rubs her back softly.
She lets go of Austin and Mac's hands then wraps her arms around Austin's mother. This...nothing compares to this. The hug is warm and safe, it feels like Holi's problems and fears are a million miles away. Nothing can hurt her when she is in here.
Her emotions get the better of her and she sniffles into Austin's mom's neck. She pulls Holi in even tighter and whispers into her ear, "oh Holi. I am so pleased you are ok. I was so worried. I am so proud of you. You have done such an amazing job...with everything. Surviving that horrid man, raising Mac and Bell. I think you are truly amazing," her voice is soft and smooth like silk, it soothes even that dull thumping in the pit of her stomach. She pulls out of the hug but clasps Holi's face in the palms of her hands. "But most of all, Holi, I am so proud that you faced insurmountable obstacles and chose to never give up. You always fought back. You did it, Holi. This is your family...forever. You belong here."
She pulls Holi back into a hug and Holi goes easily. Holi would hug her for a lifetime. She feels Mac snake his hands around her waist and Austin's mom chuckles a little as she ruffles his hair. Eventually, they break the hug and Austin pulls her back to his side, "you ok?" he asks. Holi kisses his cheek and nods. She has never been better actually.
Mac takes her hand again and Holi suspects that Mac will be her shadow for a long while still, but she does not mind. This had been the longest time they have been apart, it will take time to sew up the tear they both still feel. Austin's mother looks at their hands and smiles, "you know, Holi. These kids of yours are quiet something. They had us falling in love with them within seconds. Such pure and sweet souls."
Holi smiles and she feels like her chest is going to burst. She is very proud of them, they are amazing. "I agree. They are the best kids in the world," Holi says. Ren announces that he took the liberty of ordering dinner that has now just arrived and suggested they eat at the large dining room table.
Austin takes Bell back from his father as they all start walking to the dining room. "I am just going to put her in the room while we eat," he whispers to Holi. Holi stops walking and shakes her head, "no, I want her with me. Put her on my lap and I will eat with her on me just fine."
Austin shakes his head, "no, you will battle and I need you to eat. You can get her as soon as we are done. Promise." Holi wants to so no, even stamp her foot but she does not want to make a fuss in front of Austin's parents so she relents and nods her head. There is a sound of disapproval behind them and when both her and Austin look behind them Austin's mother is looking at Austin with a raised brow.
Austin takes a deep breath in and lets out a heavy sigh, "say your piece mother," he says. She holds up her hands, "no, no. I should not interfere," she says. Holi bites back her grin. She can see his mother is desperate to say something but is trying to respect boundaries. It seems this life is an adjustment for them all.
Austin watches his mother for a beat, "this is your only chance," he says. His mother hesitates but then opens her mouth, "mothers know best. Maybe you should trust Bell's mother," she says then disappears, leaving Austin and Holi alone with Mac still holding Holi's hand. Holi smiles at Austin, "I would like her on my lap please," she says then turns to walk into the dining room.
She can hear Austin grumbling behind her but he obliges and places Bell down gently in Holi's lap, kissing the top of her head before he takes a seat next to her. Mac is on the other side of her. Well, one could even say on top of her as he has pulled his chair so close to Holi he is pressed against her whole left side.
Luckily Ren had ordered pizza so she does not need to try and eat with a knife and fork but she battels given that Mac is pressed up against her and Bell is a dead weight in her lap. But she would not have it any other way. She hears Austin sigh softly next to her then lean over and help her eat.
Halfway through dinner, Holi sees Austin give Ren a little nod then Ren bangs on the table till he gets everyone's attention and stands. "I have an announcement," he starts, "Trevor has been fired," everyone at the table cheers, "I am now Austins manager," again everyone cheers, "Austin has been accepted and drafted into the Dallas Cowboys so we are all moving to Texas," Austin, Holi, and Mac cheer while Austin's parents get emotional.
"You are moving home?" his mother asks. Austin nods and flashes her a smile, "yeah...we all are." She can't hide her tears or her excitement and chats for the rest of the dinner about what everyone needs to do to get sorted and ready for their impending move.
It's pretty late by the time they all head to bed. Holi does not even ask Mac about the sleeping arrangement knowing full well that he will be sleeping in the bed with her. He takes his overnight bag from the kitchen and scurries off to shower then climbs into bed while Holi and Austin prepare for bed after Austin puts Bell in the center of the bed.
Holi climbs into bed, Mac plastered to her back and Bell to her front. Austin turns the light off then climbs into bed and cuddles in close to Holi, draping his arm over all three of them. Holi lies still in the dark and lets her eyes get used to the darkness. Once they are used to it she can see Austin is watching her.
She smiles softly and Austin mirrors her. He watches her for ages then moves his face closer to hers, "you are my supernova, Holiday," he whispers into her lips. Holi frowns a little, "supernova?" Austin nods, "yes, supernova...a powerful, luminous explosion in space. It only happens once in a lifetime and while you need a telescope to see things in space, a supernova explosion is so massive you can see it from the earth with the naked eye. It's life-changing - you will never be the same once you have experienced it."
Holi smiles and leans in even closer, "shooting stars and supernovas...sounds like we are made for each other," she whispers. Austin smiles and connects their lips then pulls back a bit, "sounds perfectly logical to me, baby."