Alex
The music rang loud in the packed hall, and the air was heavy with the smell of booze and smoke. Sweaty bodies were grinding against each other, swinging along to the rhythm on the dance floor, high on their hormones and alcohol. At the far end corner was Grace's tattoo parlour. All the agents went there for their 'christening' ceremony right after graduating. I also got my tattoo three years ago.
It was an exclusive bar for The Order, with the entry restricted to only our agents. There were no rules, no limits- just plain entertainment for all agents to let out steam after their missions.
My booth had three other guys with me, my old classmates. I could barely recall their names because we hardly talked after graduation, but regardless, whenever we met, we always acted like old buddies. Because even if we wanted to, we could never have ordinary relationships and friendships with the normies outside the organisation.
One guy had his tongue stuck down a girl's throat, probably another one of our old classmates, while the other two were enjoying their drinks with the ladies they had managed to land in for the night. Almost every person out here was seeking just a fling. We could not commit, and nobody here expected that. We were merciless assassins trained to kill in cold blood; commitment wasn't even the last thing on our list.
A girl was rolled up on my side as well, her fingers inching against the buttons of my shirt. I couldn't care less. She made me feel nothing. My eyes kept peering at my phone screen that had two missed calls from Rihanna and a text message.
While the woman on my side could not make me even glance at her with all her touching, this girl on the other side of my phone made my skin tingle with just her name appearing on the screen. What could I possibly do to make myself immune to her?
I tugged my hand away from the grasp of that woman, took a long sip of the scotch in my glass and then walked out. I wasn't a big fan of drinking and driving, but I wasn't drunk. I had an extremely high tolerance, probably something I inherited from my father. The only thing that could ever get me drunk to the point of madness was this girl, this girl that had my heart in the palm of her hand right from day one.
It nearly killed me that day when I learned she had a close encounter with Gilaan. I hadn't wanted to ever include her in any of my missions, but she insisted on the trip. It seemed like a harmless task, and I agreed. Never could I have imagined in my wildest dreams that she would get caught up in the middle of this. What if Gilaan had decided otherwise? What if he had hurt her? Kidnapped her? Tortured her? Or killed her? How could I have ever survived that blow?
I tossed my jacket on the passenger seat and then drove to the one place I always sought for guidance.
"Alex, it's a pleasant surprise!" A young woman barely a few years older than me opened the door and then pulled me in, and placed a soft kiss on my lips. I gagged instantly, making a disgusted face.
"That is gross on so many different levels!" I growled and wiped my lips with my forearm.
"You were a lot more compliant when I was teaching you how to touch a woman in the classroom." She waggled her eyebrows at me with a playful look in her eyes, and I dragged a hand down my face, trying to hide my embarrassment.
In my defence, it was a compulsory course in our curriculum. We had a seduction class where we were taught how to please a woman or a man, and yes, we were all taught for both genders because we could never be too sure about our target's preferences. Most of the students enjoyed it because it involved a lot of... ahem... fooling around... and I would be lying if I said my raging hormones weren't interested, but what intrigued me more was this couple that instructed us.
My eyes flickered up to notice the old man descend down the stairs. He was probably closing on to his eighties, but he had made it a point to maintain his physique strictly. His greying hair was tied behind into a ponytail, and his eyes showed a few signs of wrinkling on the sides. A pair of glasses sat on his nose as he gave me a long stare through them.
"Oh, it's Smock. I rarely see you around these days."
I almost rolled my eyes when he called me that. Why was it so hard for people to call me by my complete code name? Scarlet Mockingjay! How hard is that?
I glanced back at the pair again. Archon Cross and Selena Ford. They were the team that trained us in martial arts and seduction. Archon was recently promoted to the post of Principal, while Selena retired altogether.
I wonder who takes their classes now.
He came around to stand beside her, and she gently leaned against his frame, her arms crossed over her chest. That was when I noticed the enormous rock on her finger. I flashed a grin at my former mentor. "Finally gathered the courage to ask her?"
He shrugged as he wrapped a hand around her waist, pulling her closer.
"Do your powers still work on her?" I asked, curious.
He shook his head. "I can't believe I was the first one to throw the towel in."
Miss Selena chuckled beside him, her eyes sparkling in delight.
"And what about you, miss Selena?" I asked, turning my face to her. The twinkle in her eyes faded as she took a small step away from her fiance. Then she snapped her fingers, and I watched the magic happen. The greying hair gradually turned dark, the wrinkles smoothened out; Archon Cross was back to the way he looked decades ago- younger, brighter, more muscular.
"I honestly don't mind that." He smirked, looking like a young man in his prime again. It was a fascinating power to have. Miss Selena could rejuvenate life into cells and make people look younger. It was partially the reason why they had been teaching that class for all these years. She was barely a few years younger than Archon, but none of us had ever seen her look beyond twenty.
They invited me inside for dinner, but I instead just stuck to a glass of cold water because it was late at night, and I was sure they were already done with their meals.
Archon sat across from me on the couch, his eyes intently reading me. He had often told me how much I resembled my father, which made me look up to this man. He was my father's teacher. He had been a part of my father's life way before I was even born. He knew things about him that I could probably never understand.
Miss Selena walked out of the kitchen a few minutes later with a plate of sliced apples in her hand. She still remembered the stuff I liked.
"Help yourself."
I picked up one and slowly took a bite out of it, but my thoughts made it difficult for me to savour the taste. I absentmindedly looked at the centre table, unsure how to start the conversation.
"How's Rihanna?" Archon began instead.
Lonely. Miserable. Pitiful. That was all she was because I made her feel like that always.
"She's starting a new semester," I whispered.
"I hope that's not the only thing you came here to discuss." Archon's raspy voice rippled through the living room.
I shook my head, unable to process my emotions. I had been asking them the same question over and over again, and no matter how much they guided me, I couldn't seem to bring myself to do it the right way.
"How do you guys do it?" My voice came out softer than I intended. It was the sound of defeat mixed with hope. They knew what I was talking about. I had only ever asked them that question. I wanted to give myself to Rihanna. She had every right to get all of me, yet I couldn't do it for her sake. For my sake. The moment I give in, the moment I completely fall in love with her, I wouldn't be able to protect her with my powers anymore.
I looked up at them, that power couple, the duo that made me believe in a very different kind of unconditional love. Archon leaned his back against the couch while Miss Selena was seated on the armrest beside him. I respected them. I admired them. They were a pair in love, yet they could somehow use their powers on each other.
Archon's stare never gave away his thoughts, but Miss Selena had a soft look in her eyes. She had always asked me to give up on the idea. That it was too cruel a path for me to walk on.
"Please..." I begged.
Archon sighed and then opened his mouth, "I couldn't do it anymore. I accepted my feelings. My powers don't work on her anymore."
"But I still struggle with it." Miss Selena added. "I have tortured myself and him for the last five decades."
"Does it work?"
"Alex... No. Not you." Archon whispered.
I looked away, unable to mask the frustration on my face.
"Alex... What does it mean to you to love someone?" Miss Selena's soft voice broke the tension in the air.
Love... You care about that person. You give them your faith, commitment, and time... To love is to hold your heart outside your body and hope they won't break it.
I couldn't bring myself to voice out those feelings. The instant I do that, I wouldn't be able to keep Rihanna's face off my mind.
When I didn't reply for a long time, she continued, "I am sure you have your definition of love, and trust me when I say, whatever you have thought about, Archon and I have broken every single thing on that list."
My eyes shot up to them at those words, looking for an explanation.
Archon pinched the bridge between his nose and then explained, "The two of us... we have had a relationship based on trust and mutual understanding. Our desire to protect each other far outweighed our need for commitment. So... we made a pact."
Miss Selena continued after that, "Ever since then, we have betrayed each other, cheated on each other, hurt each other to the point of no return. We have scarred our hearts beyond redemption. We did all of that intentionally, despite knowing how we felt about each other. Under normal circumstances, we should have been sworn enemies. I am not sure how after all this time, Archon still managed to look past it and finally accept his love for me." Her eyes carried gratitude in them when she gazed at Archon, gently rubbing the side of his shoulder.
"Regardless, it worked for us. Because we trusted each other. We were like opposite ends of a magnet. No matter how far apart we were, at the end of the day, we would wound up back together."
Their words were like a fairytale. A twisted one indeed. Their love was far beyond my understanding. I wasn't even sure if I could call it love. They never married until now. They didn't have any children. We used to see them hooking up with a different person every single time, yet at the end of the day, they would go home together. They were apart, and yet they were together. It was like tender words and affection were never needed between them. The kind of connection they shared was out of the ordinary. It was sick, it was hurtful, tragic, agonising...yet... so pure and beautiful.
"It isn't something you should do to that innocent child, Alex." Miss Selena's voice was filled with pity and sympathy. "There are other ways to protect the person you love."
It was easier said than done. My sister's death had left me half empty. The other half belonged to Rihanna. My powers were more than just a shield from other powers. My powers were also like a smokescreen. It could hide people's existence. If she were ever in a hostage situation, with my powers protecting her, she'd be the last person to be picked by a perpetrator to threaten. My powers practically made her invisible. Nobody noticed her. I had the perfect thing to hide her, to keep her away from harm. I had the power to protect her; all I had to do was sacrifice my love for her.
We had a little more small talk before I left their compound and went back to Seydon's place. He was to be released from the hospital the following day.
Rihanna had asked me to accompany her for her registration day, and even though I hadn't explicitly agreed to it, I still found myself following after her. It was like I was her guard dog, and she carried my leash. If she told me to sit, I'd sit; if she told me to shake, I'd shake. The only command that I couldn't return was her demand for love.
"Wha's this?" I asked Ariel when my curious gaze landed on her pills.
"Oh, that's something Sey got me for my anxiety. It's a very mild dose. The doctor asked me to take them regularly after my accident."
The alarms in my head always rang at the mention of Seydon. Anything remotely related to him made me suspicious. Even though I spent very little time with Kaidon, I trusted him because he was an idiot. Idiots are more often than not honest. Sure, he was smart when it came to missions and studies, but emotionally he was retarded. Which meant whatever came out of his mouth was genuine. But with Seydon, you could only trust half of what he said, and there was no way to guess which half was trustworthy. He had no trouble lying, even to people who believed in him. I wouldn't call him evil, but it wasn't beyond him to betray you if he believed that would be the best course of action in the given situation.
My hands moved of their own volition. As soon as Ariel slipped the pills back into her bag, I stealthily dug my hand in, popped one pill out and placed the bottle back where it belonged. Then I walked out of the cafe to greet Kaidon.
"I know you are just pretending to be on the phone so you can drop the act."
He looked at me and then scoffed. He slipped the phone back into his jeans and then leaned his body against the glass of the window.
"Is it that hard to be in the same room as her?" I asked.
He shrugged, evading my gaze. "She is technically still your sister, but she is not my woman." The emotion was unmistakable in his voice. This was precisely what I meant when I called him an idiot.
Even if a few of her hobbies and personality traits were different, she was still a constant reminder of my sister. Even if it wasn't her, her existence was still a happy moment for me. I could love her like a sister, but it was far more complicated for Kaidon. She belonged to his cousin, and seeing her in someone else's arms would only be a torture for him. In the last few days since Seydon had returned, Kaidon had noticeably become distant from her.
"I have news for you, Alex. It might give you some closure." He pulled out his phone again and then tossed it into my hands. I caught it and turned the screen to read a text.
"The sample is not a match. I have attached a detailed report in the e-mail."
I gave him a questioning look which was when he explained, "I got a DNA test conducted on Ariel. It doesn't match Alice's."
"Kaidon, DNA reports can always be fabricated. Hell, I can get it done in five minutes!" I blurted out instantly.
"And who would go to those lengths?" he asked me incredulously.
"Uh... Your lying cousin?"
"Alex." His voice had an underlying tone of warning to it. "I don't like you incriminating him when we have no concrete proof. He is a brother to me. He may be rowdy and rough around the edges, but I still want to trust him. He is my only ally in the family."
Ally, my ass!
Even if he had some fucked up noble reason to do it, I still wouldn't put it past him to blatantly lie to his family. Seydon was lonely, I agreed. As much as I wanted to sympathise with him, it actually made him dangerous. Because he had no one, his loyalties didn't lie with anyone either.
"Send me that report. I am going to get another test."
The lab he got the test done at was an affiliate of The Order. Seydon surely had influence at that place. It wouldn't have been a challenging task for him to get the original sample replaced. I needed to trick their system. I decided to send in my sample instead to check for a sibling test.
"Are you sure you don't want to spend the night here?" Rihanna asked me with a tinge of hope in her voice.
This girl...
I glanced near the house entrance, where Dad was having a casual chat with Ariel and Griffin. The sadness in his eyes didn't escape my notice when he saw Ariel. Call me paranoid, but I had a feeling something was wrong. Father knew much more than he was letting on. He had a track record to prove that. I would never trust that man again, not until he comes clean.
I turned back to Rihanna as I pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, "I can't believe you are openly inviting a man over to your home."
She swatted my hand playfully and narrowed her eyes at me, "When my boyfriend refuses to make a move, I need to take the reins in my hand!"
"I need your help with something, Rin." Even calling her by the nickname I gave her felt so intimate. I could already feel myself losing my restraint.
"Is everything okay?" Her concern laced voice only made the guilt worse.
I pulled out the pill I had taken from Ariel earlier. "You guys study medicine too, right? Do you think you can get this pill checked for me? The contents and the use?"
She chuckled as she pushed her palm forward to me, asking me to give it to her. "You really have no clue what I am studying, right?"
I shrugged, and she giggled again. She took a step closer to me, her eyes intently staring up at my face. "I'll get it done, but I need a small payment?"
I raised an eyebrow at that, curious what she would ask me. When I didn't protest, she replied, "Kiss me like you mean it."
My eyes instantly fluttered to her soft, rosy lips. Every time I had kissed her in the past, I felt my resolve breaking. She was like a drug that just made me want more of her the more I had her. I had practically shut her out of my life for the past few weeks, making her miserable. I rejected her advances all the time. I wasn't sure what made her want to throw away her pride to still be with me. It made me happy and dismal at the same time. If we ever managed to get out of this mess, I'd make up to her for all the lost time and affection.
I stared down at her hand, which still had the bracelet I got her years back. It was more than just a gift. It was my protection extended to her. Over the last few years, I had realised I could project my powers into objects, so she was safe even if I wasn't there. I forbade her to ever remove that bracelet, and she always complied.
I grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer to me.
"Everyone is watching," I whispered.
Her eyes gleamed in anticipation. "I don't care."
I slowly lifted her wrist to my mouth and then placed a soft kiss on her bracelet, a playful smile stretching across my lips. It also allowed me to restore my powers to the ornament.
"You didn't say which part of your body you wanted the kiss on." I stepped away from her, unable to hide my smirk at her annoyed expression.
She pouted and turned around, stomping her feet to get away from me. I reached out my hand to grab her wrist. It was an impulsive act. I didn't want her face gone from my sight.
"I'll get it done, Alex." She whispered without looking back at me. "You know I'd do anything for you. You have me wrapped around your finger, and sometimes I feel you just take advantage of that power."
She couldn't be more wrong. She was the one with all the power. She could reject me, stop loving me, or date someone else, but I would still look after her.
Two years ago, there was an attempted kidnapping of her. She is a direct descendant of the Cross family with extraordinary powers. She wasn't even aware of how valuable an asset she was considered in the underworld. Despite being a beginner, I had requested Seydon to let me lead that mission, and I made sure to slaughter any person who ever laid eyes on her. That was when I realised how much she needed my protection. I felt like I was blessed with these powers only for her, to keep her safe. I got injured in the process, and she cried for me, but she couldn't heal me. That was her confession to me. But I couldn't return her love. I agreed to date her to be close to her all the time, but I could never open my heart to her.
She yanked her hand away, then turned around and smiled at me, forgiving me like she always did, and then walked back inside the house.
Dad lowered the volume of the radio that I had turned on. He then gave me a sideways glance while keeping his grip on the wheel. "You know there are other ways to fill the silence."
I turned up the volume again and stared outside the passenger seat window. I brought him his car that morning because I knew he would want to drive it. Of the few things I knew about him, one was his love for driving. I despised him for keeping me out of the loop all the time, and I wasn't sure what made me want to do these little things for him.
His sigh was audible over the sound of the traffic on the road. "How are things with Rihanna?"
"I don't appreciate the small talk." I barked out without looking at him.
"Alex, how will I know what pissed you off if you don't talk to me about it?"
Seriously? Is he just pretending to be a fool, or really is one?
"Well, for starters, you ran off on your own after Seydon without a word."
"I needed to protect him. There was no time."
"Well, I think we have had enough time since mom's accident! You didn't tell me anything. I had to learn all the stuff from Seydon!"
"Alex, what do you want me to say? That I am Red Phoenix? That your father was a ruthless assassin, who killed people in cold blood?" He parked the car on the side road and then turned his attention to me. "That's the last thing any father wants to tell his child. I didn't want you to become like me. I wanted to protect you."
"Well, you did a fairly good job at that!" My sarcasm wasn't intentional, but I didn't plan on apologising either. His daughter was dead, and his son now worked in the same line as he did years back. What was there to hide now?
He ignored the jab and continued, "I thought I would have more time, but my past caught up to me quicker than I anticipated."
"What happened to mom?"
He looked away and ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes closed in thought. I was confident he knew everything and chose to withhold the information.
"The Order killed her."
I wouldn't stop until I found her killer. That was the main reason I joined.
"Why?"
"I cannot say."
My fury overtook my ability to reason. I jumped out of the car and then shut the door behind me with a loud thud. I kicked the front wheel out of bitterness and then yelled, "Every time! Every single fucking time you do that! You never share anything! There are always secrets with you! I have the right to know, alright! I need to know why my mother was taken away from me!"
My outburst didn't provoke him. He slowly stepped out of the car and maintained his calm. He looked at me with a sombre expression on his face, holding my gaze for a few minutes. Men don't cry. They hold their tears so that the people they care about can use their shoulders to cry on. But at times like these, when I was alone with the one man I had respected most in my life, I found myself crying and looking for his shoulder.
A tear rolled down my eyes. He didn't comfort me; he didn't console me; he just stared at me, passing on that gaze of support, assuring me that I wasn't alone.
"Nobody could have cornered your mother. It was a choice she made. I am sorry you had to go through all that."
I had faint visions. I was barely five back then, but I was there with her when she died. My mind blocked that memory out. I was powerless to do anything to save her, and I lost my sister next. I wasn't going to let that happen again. Even if that meant letting go of my happiness. I steeled my resolve. These were the last tears I would ever let out due to my helplessness.