Hades awoke an hour before his alarm was set to go off.
This was nothing new most part. It seemed he always woke up before his alarm, the result of either Jason or his accursed mother-in-paw slamming the kitchen door shut on their way outside to tend to the never ending tasks that needed to be done to keep the small farm running. Some days the god-turned-mortal could simply lie there and exist in that state between sleep and consciousness, while other days he was forced to get out of bed by the rumble of a tractor. His mood was definitely better on the days where the former occurred, but he could always improve his mood by making his practically-guaranteed-son-in-law, Jackson, do some meaningless task for his amusement.
But today, he was not awoken by Jason or Demeter, nor was he awoken by any of the boys have an early morning nightmare. No, today he awoke of his own volition. His own excitement.
For today was his new family's first vacation.
The former king glanced down and smiled at the mass of tangled tan limbs and messy hair that was his beloved wife. A thin, black sheet was the only thing preserving her decency and a thin layer of sweat made her body glisten, and for once he was glad their room didn't have AC. And although he loathed the fact she had been cursed to a mortal state just like him, he couldn't deny the sense of peace he felt when he watched her breathe.
Hades wrapped his right arm around her shoulders and tilted his head forward to kiss his love's hair. "Good morning, my queen."
Persephone inhaled sharply and nuzzled her head against his chest. "No," she whined, squeezing her eyes shut tighter. "One to eight more hours..."
He chuckled and ran his fingers down her spine, stopping at the her waist. "As much as I wish I could give you that, we have to be on the road soon if we want to make it to Great America at a reasonable time."
The former goddess moaned in annoyance. "Hades, I will blow-" Persephone's head snapped up and looked at him with wide eyes. "That's today? Today is roller coaster day?!"
Hades smiled at his wife's sudden change from sleepy young adult to bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed. Persephone was always the thrill-seeker of the two of them, but it seemed having the body of a twenty-five-year-old had only enhanced that trait. "Yup," he answered, popping the 'p'. "Today is the first Hades family vacation. Hopefully, the first of many to come."
Persephone crawled on top of him, her smile beaming like a Spring day sun. "Oh, this is going to be great," she said before catching his lips in a gentle kiss. "It will be just like taking Maria and the kids to Coney Island!"
He froze at the mention of the New York theme park. Apparently, Persephone remembered that trip very differently. Constantly rushing to either child to figure out why they were crying. Practically vomiting out copious amounts of money to every little booth or shop that caught Maria, Persephone, or the kids' eyes. Splitting up the group so that Bianca and Persephone could ride the bigger rides Nico was too afraid of, only to get separated when the exit was somehow on the other side of the park. Carrying or dragging Bianca and Nico when they got too tired to walk, but were too stubborn to want to go home. He had used that day as a standard for new tortures in the Fields of Punishment.
"Ha, yeah," he gulped. "I'm sure it will be exactly like that..."
-----
Thirty minutes.
Of the hour he had scheduled to wake the boys up, get them moving, and into the SUV, it had only taken thirty minutes.
And Hades was going to take that as a sign that the day was going to be good.
Jason had already been up with Demeter, discussing things that needed to be done while he was away; which all seemed to revolve around his pet pig Leo. Nico and Percy didn't need much coaxing to get out of their shared bed, the son of Poseidon literally jumping out of bed at the mention of their trip. Percy then dragged a sleepy Nico to the bathroom for a shower, and amazingly they were done in ten minutes instead of their usual hour long session; the boys actually just showering for once. Percy dried the two of them with a single touch, they got dressed quickly (so quickly the older teen had his shirt on backwards) and they were out the door.
"Everyone got everything?" Hades asked as he buckled his seat belt. "Wallets, phones, that kind of stuff?"
A chorus of sleepy 'yeahs' echoed from the rear of the car, and a quick glance in the rear view mirror told him his plan was working. Jason sat on the passenger side of the vehicle with his sticker covered laptop on his lap and headphones laying on the edge of the keyboard. The son of Jupiter would entertain himself the drive up to Gurnee with games and music. Next to the blond sat his own son, who was currently resting his head with his eyes closed on the son of Poseidon's shoulder. Nico would probably sleep for another hour and then sit there in relative silence until they reached their destination.
Hades adjusted the mirror slightly to see a pair of sea green eyes staring back at him.
Then there was the wildcard. Percy.
His raven-haired nephew would be silent until Nico awoke, because if there was one good thing he could say about Jackson, it was he would never do something to hurt or upset Nico. If his son needed a pillow, the older teen would do his damnedest to be the best pillow he could be. What he would be like once Nico awoke though was anyone's guess.
So as a safety precaution, Hades packed a bag full of non-sugary snacks, several road trip games, and loaded his own phone up with every popular game he could fit. He had considered drugging the snacks with sleep pills, but Persephone would probably eat some as well.
"Let's get this show on the road," Percy said, slapping the back of Hades' seat. "I want to take Nico on every ride before we leave the park."
"Good look with that," Jason chuckled, adjusting his headphones. "I looked it up and it said that it takes two days to ride everything."
"Only if you're a rookie, Grace," the son of Poseidon said, before sticking out his tongue at the blond.
"I'm going to agree with Percy on this one," Persephone smiled, placing her bare feet on the dash. "I once rode every attraction at Disney World in a single day, and Six Flags is nowhere near as big."
"You were a goddess though," the son of Jupiter shot back. "You were probably riding multiple things at once."
"Irrelevant," his wife pouted, reaching down between her legs and grabbing a pack of trail-mix.
"Oh, I think it's pretty relevant," Percy chuckled quietly. "But how about we see who can ride the most rides by the end of the day? Losers have to do the winners chores for a week."
"You're on!" Persephone cried, tossing a handful of nuts and raisins in her mouth.
Hades rolled his eyes and started the SUV, and backed out of the drive. Today's shaping up to be quite interesting...
-----
They hit their first snag in Mendota, only fifteen minutes away from the farm.
"We should stop at McDonald's," Percy said from the backseat, almost the instant the golden arches came into view. "Grab some breakfast."
"We are not stopping at that greasy deathtrap," he replied as they drive passed the local greasy spoon, Ziggie's. "I packed some granola bars for us to eat on the road. Besides, we'll be eating fast food all day in the park, we don't need McDonald's."
There was a snort from the back followed by his son's tired voice. "Did somebody say McDonald's?"
Fuck...
"Yeah, Neeks!" Jackson said with what could only be a smirk. "Your dad's going to stop and get us some breakfast."
"I am doing no such thing," he growled, slowing down to accommodate the massive tractor in front of them. "If you're hungry, there's-"
"I could actually go for some McDonald's myself," his wife said, tapping one foot against the dash. "A hashbrown sounds amazing."
"Didn't you just eat an entire bag of trail-mix?"
"And yet I'm still hungry," she shrugged. "Funny how that works."
Hades frowned and tapped one finger on the wheel. They were ahead of schedule, the drive-thru was pretty fast, and he could really used a cup of coffee... "Fine," he sighed, turning on the blinker. "Just please figure out what you want before we order."
"McDonald's! McDonald's! McDonald's!" the three chanted in celebration, making the son of Jupiter look up from his computer with a confused look on his face.
He pulled into the parking lot and got into the small queue, while the three teenagers and Persephone rattled off their (thankfully simple) orders. And by the time he pulled up to the speaker box he had compiled the list in such a way that it would be easy for the teenager at the other end to understand.
"Welcome to McDonald's!" an overly friendly voice laced with static chirped from the metal box. "What can I get you started this morning?"
"Yeah, can I get four hasbrowns-"
"Oh, I'm sorry ma'am, we're out of hashbrowns..."
Hades looked around the vehicle and was met with shrugs at the news, and Persephone mouthing "parfait" to update her order. "Okay, then we need two sausage and egg Mcmuffins, and-"
"Oooo," the voice hissed. "We're out of Mcmuffins too..."
slightly miffed, he once again turned to Percy and Nico, who mouthed "pancakes". "That's fine," he said, turning back to the speaker. "Then how about two orders of pancakes?"
"Yeah..."
"You're kidding, right?" he asked in disbelief. "How about a breakfast burrito?"
"Also out."
"Let me ask you this: do you have any food?"
"Oh yes, ma'am!" the speaker chirped happily.
"Sir," he corrected. "Okay, then let's try a parfait," he said, already knowing the answer.
The speaker hissed. "No parfaits either I'm afraid..."
"What the fuck?!" Persephone cried.
Hades tapped his fingers against the wheel as he reached peak annoyance. "Let's go about this another way. You tell me what you do have, and I'll make my order based on that."
"Coffee," the voice whispered.
"Coffee and what?" Percy asked, poking his head into the front.
"Just coffee, ma'am," the speaker answered. "The coolers went down last night..."
His four passengers groaned in disbelief, with one of the boys in the back facepalming. "Okay then, one large, black coffee," he ordered.
"That'll be a dollar-twenty-two," the speaker chirped happily.
"What the fuck!" Jackson cried, followed by a chorus of similar outbursts from the other three.
"What? I'm going to go without because you didn't what you wanted?" he snickered as he fished out his wallet.
-----
If there is one thing Illinois is notorious for (other than its political corruption and violence in Chicago) was the terrible states of its roads. From May to late October it was impossible to travel more than ten miles without encountering some form of road construction. And the more traveled a road was, the more tore up it was.
A fact Hades was slowly becoming aware of.
I-294 was one such road, and of course its length made up nearly fifty percent of their route. It hadn't been too bad at first, as outside Elmhurst the flow of traffic had dropped around five-miles-per-hour from one lane being closed, but that still put them doing the speed limit. However, by Rosemont they had practically come to a halt, moving maybe a mile every ten minutes.
"Well this sucks," The son of Poseidon repeated for the tenth time in under twelve minutes.
"You don't say..." Hades said, his head resting against the steering wheel. "I hadn't noticed..."
Persephone snorted into her fist as she pretended to thumb through her gardening magazine. "Just find a way to entertain yourself," she chuckled. "We'll be on the move soon enough."
"I wish I was as optimistic as you," he mumbled. If I ever become a god again, being in a traffic jam with three teenagers is being added to divine punishments...
Even with the unscheduled stop at McDonald's they had still been twenty minutes ahead of schedule. That was supposed to be twenty more minutes of fun at Great America. But now they were an hour behind schedule, and it looked more-and-more like they were only to fall further behind schedule.
And there's not even a damn worker in sight! They close miles of road for a small section a block long! No wonder this state is going bankrupt!
A horn sounded behind him, alerting him that is was time to scoot up another ten feet. Without looking up, he removed his foot from the brake and let the car coast forward for a second, before replacing his foot on the brake.
"Happy, asshole?" he mumbled to himself. Hades family vacation! Yay! The former god looked up and peered out the windshield, only to promptly groan at the sea of red taillights before him.
A groan that was echoed from the backseat.
"P-Percy," Nico moaned.
"Eh?" Hades lifted his head off the wheel and looked into the back. "WHOA! NO! NOT OKAY!" he cried.
Hades knew that his son and Percy were a couple. A sexually active couple at that, a drunk Nico having told him that when they picked the boys up from their prom, and having heard their late night escapades at the farm. And he was okay with that, really he was. They were young and in love, and all they had was each other. But that didn't mean he wanted to see Jackson and Nico making out in the back of the car with the older teen's hand under his son's shirt.
"Oh my," Persephone chuckled, looking back to see what her husband was upset about. "That's one way to entertain yourself..."
"Break it up!" he snapped, grabbing the two teens by their shoulders and prying them apart. Still in a state of lust, the two boys tried to fight his grip, craning their necks to try and reach the other. He released his son, only to immediately flick his forehead with his index finger, breaking Nico free of his stupor. He did the same to his nephew, but several additional times to vent his frustrations.
Hades never claimed to be a fair parent.
"Ow! Fuck!" the son of Poseidon hissed, grasping at his forehead. "What was that for?!"
"When Persephone said entertain yourself, she didn't mean dry humping my son," he growled, as horns started to blare behind them.
"Father!" Nico cried, his entire body flushing; seemingly taking the color his nephew was losing.
He ignored his son and continued to glare at the oldest teen. "Take a nap, play a game, count the telephone pulls, I don't care," he growled. "But I will not be stuck in traffic listening to my son and his boyfriend make out. Got it?!"
"Uh, honey?" his queen said, repeatedly tapping him on the back.
"One moment. Having a talk with Jackson," the former god said without taking his dark eyes off Percy. "Got it?" he repeated.
"Yes sir," Percy gulped, leaning as far back from him as possible; the seat taking on a Jackson-esque imprint. "Nico and I will count cows or something."
"Good boy," Hades nodded before turning to his other nephew. "Jason," he cried, tapping the blond's knee while the horns became louder and more frequent. "Jason!"
The son of Jupiter looked up from his laptop and removed his headphones. "What's up?"
"What's up," he grumbled to himself. Demigods would have never dared to talk to me so casually when I was a god... He shook his head. "Please make sure Jackson doesn't feel up my son."
"Father!"
"Uh, Hades?" Persephone said, still tapping his back.
Jason turned to his cousins and then back to him. "Sure thing."
"Thank you," he sighed, turning back around-
And seeing that the road had cleared before them.
That explains the honking...
-----
"You drive safe now," the mustached state trooper smiled (mostly at Persephone), knocking on the hood of the SUV with his knuckles. "And remember: no feet on the dash."
"I'll remember," his wife said with a flirty laugh, tossing her hair over her shoulder, and fluttering her eyelashes like a schoolgirl. "Thank you so much for letting us off with a warning."
"I couldn't give a ticket to your father over a pretty lil' thang like you," the trooper practically drooled. He then tipped his hat and returned to the flashing squad car behind them.
Hades slowly turned to the smiling former goddess and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you feel proud of yourself?"
"I got us out of a ticket, didn't I?" she grinned.
"A ticket that was your fault..."
"Details, details," she chuckled, waving the question off.
Percy snorted from the back seat with Jason quickly following suit. The snorting then turned into full-blown laughter.
"Guys...," Nico groaned, burying his face in his hands.
"He- He- He thought Persephone was your sister!" Percy howled with laughter.
Persephone frowned and turned to face the howling teens as Hades pulled the SUV back onto the highway. "That just means I'm a trophy wife," she said, sticking her tongue out at the son of Poseidon. "Maybe I'll start wearing booty shorts around the house. How's that sound?"
Jason and Percy blanched while the shadows around Nico began to flicker; his son on the verge of shadow traveling out of the embarrassing situation.
"Eh, just wear your panties," Hades shrugged.
His nephews had to grab Nico to stop him from disappearing into the shadows.
-----
"Come on Neeks! Batman awaits!" Percy cried as he dragged his son by the hand behind him; Jason jogging behind the two to keep up.
"Kind of thought we would spend the day as a family," Persephone sighed as the boys disappeared into the crowd; though Jackson's voice could be heard well after they were out of sight.
"We will," he answered, wrapping his arm around his wife's shoulders and kissing the top of her head. "They'll run around for a while, and they'll be back."
"You sure about that?" she asked, resting her head on his shoulder.
"Positive," Hades nodded. "The boys left their wallets in the car," he smiled, patting the three wallets he squeezed into his back pocket. "If they want to eat they'll have to come and find us." he placed another kiss on Persephone's head. "But, we need to let them have some fun without us," he sighed.
"That means leaving Nico alone with Percy," she pointed out.
"That's not necessarily a bad thing," he shrugged. "Jackson may be something of a moron at times, but he is a good man."
"Says the man who just tried to make him crap himself not two hours ago," Persephone giggled.
"It's all about balance," he chuckled. "A trip to Great America is equivalent to me scaring him."
"You owe him a lot of trips then," she smirked. "But do you think it will last?"
"Will what last?"
"Percy and Nico," the younger woman hummed, running one slender finger across his chest.
Hades narrowed his eyes and frowned.
Both Nico and Percy had lost so much in the last few months. Nico had lost the son of Apollo and his sister. Percy had lost the daughter of Athena and his entire family. And all three of them had lost all their friends and the world they called their own, becoming three of the four last surviving demigods; the daughter of Aphrodite being the fourth and currently living in the barn (she scared the Tartarus out of him). But somehow despite the all their losses, his son and nephew had come together and built something beautiful. The two understood one another in a way no one else ever could, and he had never seen two people more devoted to one another. Except for...
"They'll last as long as we do," He finally answered with a content smile. "Now come on, we have to defend our honor as immortals by riding more attractions than them."