PREVIOUSLY
And his heart leapt in his throat, a cold sweat coating his back as he felt himself become pale.
Something wasn't right. He felt like he was supposed to do something.. stop something..
He shook his head, getting rid of the feeling before he engaged in conversation with James and Remus.
__________________
Y/n's POV:
"Sirius is probably studying for his NEWTS right now.." I whispered softly, combing through Regulus' long hair.
After five months here, Regulus finally agreed to let me cut his hair.
"Yeah.." he whispered back.
Silence surrounded us in the huge tent, the only sound being the scissors cutting through Regulus' hair. It had grown to his elbows because he kept putting it off. He wanted it just above his shoulders, like Sirius.
"But knowing him, he'll probably leave it for last minute. Like always." He chuckled.
I laughed,"Yeah."
I snipped away at his hair, the black locks falling to the ground.
"Y/n?" Regulus called out, breaking the silence.
"Yeah?"
"Do you.. do you regret choosing to become a death eater?" He whispered.
"Not really. I mean, it was for you-"
"But what if you got the mark first and I chickened out last minute.."
"That's not like you. You obey every command that mother says."
"So do you."
"You know mother didn't want you to become a death eater. She was so shocked when you barged in, demanding to join." He muttered.
"I know."
"She wanted you to marry as soon as you turned eighteen, to some stuck up guy."
"I knew about that too. I guess that also gave me a reason to become a death eater. I could use the excuse that I was too busy serving the Dark Lord to worry about a husband." I smirked cockily.
I put the scissors and comb down, dusting the few hairs on his shoulders off before I handed him a silver mirror.
He moved his head from side to side, smiling.
He looked at me through the mirror,"Good job, sissy."
I hummed,"Thank you."
He got off the wooden stool, wiping his hands on his black dress pants before he turned to me.
"Tomorrow." He smiled.
I nodded,"Tomorrow."
(Later that evening)
Y/n's POV:
I stared up at the ceiling from the bed I was laying in, Regulus a few feet away in his own bed, passed out.
I thought about my life. About my parents. About Sirius and what he was doing at the moment. Was he laughing with the marauders? Was he worried that his siblings seemed to vanish from the wizarding world into thin air?
I picked up the brass locket I shoved under my pillow and opened it.
Inside was a moving picture of me, Regulus and Sirius. I was seated on a comfortable velvet chair while both my brothers stood on either side of me. This was one of the rare pictures where all three of us were carefree, happy and relaxed.
The photo was taken by Kreacher in our basement. That night after mother and father had fallen asleep, the three of us threw on clothes we felt most comfortable in and raced quietly down into the basement.
It was Sirius' idea and I still don't know how he managed to convince me and Regulus to go along with it.
I traced my finger over Sirius' face - he was laughing, a hand on my shoulder and his other in Regulus' hair, ruffling it -, smiling sadly as I felt close to tears.
I missed my other brother dearly, and though Regulus never spoke much about him, I knew he missed him just as much as I did. There were nights I'd hear him scream Sirius' name, hands outstretched as he jolted up. But there was no Sirius. Only me and Kreacher.
I tried to remember what Sirius sounded like; how he laughed. But I couldn't. I couldn't remember much about him at all.
Some days I'd find myself convinced that his eyes were blue, not silver. Weren't they blue once?
I picked up the envelope from under my pillow and slipped the locket inside, sealing the envelope shut with a muggle sticker and sprayed it with my perfume.
I furrowed my eyebrows, contemplating if I did the right thing by doing so.
Did Sirius even like my perfume? Or did he say it smelled too fruity and sweet? The damage had been done.
I stood up, my bare feet meeting the soft floors beneath as I walked into the part of the tent where the 'dining room' was. I smiled as I saw Kreacher sitting at the table, a cup of coffee infront of him.
He looked up,"Mistress Y/n, what are you doing up this late?"
I sat down opposite the house elf,"Couldn't sleep."
"Would you like some coffee, Mistress?" He questioned.
I shook my head,"No, thank you. I actually have a request."
He straightened up, watching me intently.
I looked over my shoulder, making sure Regulus was asleep, before looking back at Kreacher.
I held the letter up, showing it to him before I slid it to him and he caught it. He looked down at who it was addressed to before he looked up at me.
"Kreacher, Regulus and I aren't going to make it back home. We never were." I gently spoke.
"Mistress-"
"So, when you get back, I want you to promise me that you will not tell anybody about what happened during these past five months. And before you go back," I motioned to the letter,"Please make sure that letter is the first thing you deliver."
His eyebrows furrowed.
"Does Master Regulus know of this?" He croaked out.
"No, and I would prefer if he doesn't."
He nodded his head, gently and delicately sliding the letter into a pocket in his tunic.
"Promise me, Kreacher," I held his hand,"Promise me Sirius will get that letter. Not my mother nor my father."
"I promise, Mistress Y/n."
I smiled, standing up and bid Kreacher goodnight before I fell into a dreamless sleep.
(Two Days Later)
Narrator's POV:
There's a sort of calmness that welcomes you when you know you're dying. That's how it felt for Y/n at least.
She looked down at the gash on her side, staining her grey linen dress before looking down at the creatures that clawed at her and Regulus, both Black siblings standing back to back.
Kreacher had disapparated a while ago, though it took a while to convince him.
Regulus watched as the water rose higher and higher, his wand light shining over the faces of the creatures that would eventually kill him and his sister.
Y/n pushed her s/c hand to her stomach, wincing and dropping her wand to her feet. Regulus spun, his face aghast as they met her blood stained hands and dress.
She stumbled back, nearly falling into the dark waters when Regulus grabbed her dress and lurched her into his arms. His wand shone over the wound and he flinched, seeing that one of the damned creatures had bit a good part of her stomach.
"R..reggie.." she choked out, blood dripping from the corner of her lips.
She smiled warmly,"W--we did it, right? We defeated.. the horcrox?"
He nodded, pushing her sopping wet hair out of her face, tears spilling down his pale cheeks and onto her face.
"Y-yeah. We did." He spoke, his voice cracking.
She brought her blood stained hand up and held his, squeezing reassuringly.
"W--we're," she gulped,"y-you're gonna be here when I wake up, right?"
He froze, his silver eyes watching as her e/c ones drooped slowly. He looked around, seeing that the water was flooding onto the rock they were on.
Regulus looked down at his sister and forced a sincere smile, nodding.
"Y-yes. I'm not going anywhere." He choked out, feeling a sob crawl up his throat.
She smiled, nodding slowly against his chest.
"Good.. good..." She muttered.
"I'm glad-- we were born together. I just wish we didn't have to die together too." Y/n whispered.
Regulus rocked her back and forth, slowly, and kissed her forehead every now and then, saying he didn't wish for them to die together in any life.
Her body and his legs were covered in water, her hair swarming around her head angelically, like a halo.
"I love you-- Regulus.." she choked out before her head tilted back onto his forearm and her eyes fluttered shut. Forever.
Regulus sobbed, resting his head against her neck.
"I..love you too, Y/n. And Sirius." He sobbed out.
The water had covered both siblings, one dead and one slowly suffocating because he refused to let go, knowing that there was no point in swimming up for air. He couldn't swim after all.
A few moments later, the water had filled Regulus' lungs and the last things he saw was the oxygen bubbles that escaped his lips float up and Y/n's h/c hair and contented face.
(Back At Hogwarts)
Sirius' POV:
I laughed along with my fellow marauders, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas and Mary.
"And then I kicked him in the face and he crashed into a poison ivy bush!" Remus laughed out.
"You should've seen how swollen his face was!" James added, laughing just as loudly.
"It wasn't that bad!" I defended, blushing in embarrassment.
Peter quirked an eyebrow,"Not that bad?"
"Mate, you couldn't open your eyes or move your lips! That's how swollen your fucking face was!"
The girls all laughed, imagining my swollen face must've been some sort of entertainment.
I looked into the fireplace, their laughter fading as I thought about my siblings. Regulus and Y/n. That same uneasiness and guilt washed over me. Whenever I thought about them these days, that's all I felt.
I heard a rumour amongst the Slytherin's four months ago, that Regulus and Y/n had run away on a serious mission for He Who Will Not Be Named. Another Slytherin said that the they had killed themselves by drowning in the Black Lake but I knew that wouldn't happen. Y/n was an excellent swimmer and Regulus was not and the squid in the lake would've thrown them out.
I didn't know what to believe but I did know my siblings vanished. Mother and father have been searching for them. I heard McGonagall tell Dumbledore that my siblings lied to my parents, saying they were staying with Lucius and Narcissa Christmas break but that was a lie. Narcissa hadn't even invited the two and was clueless of the whole ordeal.
"Pads?"
"Hm?" I looked up, seeing James staring at me in concern.
"You okay, mate?" He questioned softly.
I nodded, rubbing the bridge of my nose as I shut my eyes,"Yeah.. just been thinking again.."
James and Remus nodded, understanding that I was thinking of Regulus and Y/n.
I heard a cracking sound and I spun around, only to see.. Kreacher?!
His tunic was splattered with blood and the sight made my face pale, the same uneasy feeling washing over me.
I hopped to my feet and ran to the elf, kneeling down infront of him.
"Kreacher! What are you doing?! B-blood-" I sputtered out.
He pulled out a letter, his face pale and hand shaking.
"M-mistress Y/n asked me to give this to you. M-master Regulus snuck in a few words this morning." He croaked out.
I took the letter from his hands and he relaxed before he vanished again.
I got up to my feet, staring down at the letter and that's when I noticed crimson splatters and a smudged bloody fingerprint on it. It was not Regulus'..
"Sirius? What's that?" Lily questioned, coming to my side and looking at the letter.
"Y--y/n and Regulus sent it.." I whispered.
"Do you want to be alo-"
"No." I looked at my friend's,"Stay. Please."
James walked up to me, squeezing my shoulder,"Of course."
I peeled open the sticker and I scrunched my nose as Y/n's (favorite perfume scent) perfume and Regulus' cologne flooded my nostrils.
"Godric, I hate her perfume." I grumbled.
"I like it. It suits her." Remus chimed.
I rolled my silver eyes and pulled out a single letter, delicately folded.
I shoved the envelope in my pocket and unfolded the letter, immediately being met with Y/n's curly and untidy handwriting. She was in a hurry to write it seems.
"There's at the back too." Mary said.
I flipped the letter around and was met with Regulus' neat and tidy cursive handwriting.
I flipped it back to Y/n's side and looking up at them before looking back down, began to read aloud.
To my dearest brother, Sirius,
You're probably wondering where me and Regulus went. Or why we left. We left for a number of reasons but I know Regulus will find this and write at the back. I do regret not saying goodbye. I wanted to, but I didn't have time. We didn't have time.
Sirius, do you remember the day you found out I became a death eater? You asked me why I became one when mother and father didn't want me to. I did it for him; for Regulus. When you left, it was like you took a huge part of Regulus with you. He wasn't the same. He hardly spoke or moved around much. The only thing that reassured me he was alive was the way his chest heaved whenever he'd inhale. Even though I was there, Regulus never felt more alone-- I never felt more alone either.
I became a death eater so he wouldn't have to face the rest of his life alone, worrying about how you and I would react or treat him. I wanted him to be assured that at least one of his siblings wouldn't care. I don't care.
You're probably raging right now but Regulus didn't 'rope' me into it. I chose to become a death eater. He pleaded and cried; he didn't want me to follow in his footsteps, but I wanted to walk with him through every storm.
I'm running out of space so I better say what I wanted to.
Sirius, I'm going to die. Regulus is going to die too. But, we'll be together. You were right; we can't face even death alone it seems.
By the time you read this, I'll be gone.
Please know that my death and Regulus' death wasn't in vain. We died to put an end to Voldemort. I just hope we were successful..
I love you Sirius. Even when you hurt me, you didn't mean to, I still love my brother. I love you so much and if I'd known that day would've been the last time I saw you, I would've hugged you and kissed your cheek the way you hate it.
Your sister,
Y/n
P.S. Are your eyes silver, Sirius? I can't seem to remember if they were silver or blue?
Tears streamed down my face, landing on the parchment in my shaking hands.
I looked up, seeing Lily and the girls with their hands over their mouths, eyes wide in shock as tears glazed their eyes. Remus and James were pale, along with Peter.
"S--she..." I blubbered, realizing that the blood was hers.
I collapsed onto my knees, cradling the letter to my chest as I screamed out in agony. My little sister, my baby sister, was dead. I should've stayed, and coaxed them to tell me. I should've payed closer attention.
Of course there was no way they'd go through with this without having this in mind.
James picked me up, bringing me against his chest, the letter falling into Remus' lap.
He wrapped his arms around me, cradling me against his chest as I sobbed and cried.
"Shh, shh, it's alright, Sirius. It's gonna be alright. You couldn't have known, mate." He soothed, rocking us gently.
Remus picked up the letter and turned it over to Regulus side.
"Should.."
I nodded; I wanted to know what Regulus thought of while he was writing to me.
Remus cleared his throat.
Sirius,
I should've known Y/n would write you a letter. I just wish she'd let me know, but I see why. She knew we were going to die. I didn't want her to know, I thought we'd come back after three months but it became clear a week ago that we'd never come back.
We left to destroy one of Voldemort's seven horcroxs. We found out about them shortly before we joined the death eaters. Ever since, we plotted and planned to destroy as many as we could. But, it's clear now that we'll only get one.
There are many things I wish I'd said to you before I left. There are many things I wanted to do. But I was clouded with anger and rage after what you did to Y/n. I don't understand how you could lay your hands on our sister, the sister you swore to love and cherish until the end of time, like she wasn't a human.
The worst part is, how easily she forgave you. She was always better at forgiving than us.
I don't know why you hurt her and almost killed her, whether it was rage or something, but I didn't recognize you. You called us monsters and traitors but I wasn't the one trying to kill the only ray of hope we were blessed with in this world.
But, after all this and reflecting, I've forgiven you too. I've forgiven you for leaving the house; for leaving us without looking back; for hurting us with your words and actions; for everything bad you did towards us because the bad could never weigh the same as the good.
You were a good, an amazing, older brother to me. And I would like to thank you for everything you did while we lived together. Even though most of it, like you letting me sit where I want to and giving me your last biscuit, seemed useless, it meant a lot to me.
Y/n was right. We are going to die but we do die having no regrets or sorrows. And we are together.
But we do share one regret. We regret not talking things out or trying to see pass our house colors and names. Hopefully, future generations won't be as stupid as us three.
Farewell,
R.A.B
P.S. Sirius' eyes are grey Y/n, like fog.
Remus looked up at me, a few tears trailing down his scarred face.
I broke down all over again. My throat hurt from screaming and my head felt like it was going to explode but I couldn't stop crying.
I should've stayed. It would've been me dead. I wish I could give up my meaningless life, just to see them again.