Mia turned on stove's fan, trying to disperse the smoke that had accumulated in her small apartment kitchen. Despite its darkening skin, the chicken she was cooking didn't appear burnt. In fact, when she cut into it, it was still pink.
"This is why I couldn't be a cook," Mia mumbled to herself as she turned the stove's heat down.
As the chicken continued to sizzle, Mia walked over to the patio. As she opened the patio door to let the smoke disperse, her eyes fell suddenly on the spot she and Leila had stood on Thanksgiving evening. Mia's cheeks burned at the thought. She'd felt so happy in the moment that all reason had left her. She remembered wanting to feel close to Leila in the moment, to feel her body warmth against hers. Mia hadn't expected Leila to wrap an arm around her and hold her close like that. That tender moment shared between the two hadn't been spoken of since. Mia surely didn't feel like bringing it up, and Leila obviously hadn't either.
Cool air slowly flooded into the living room. Mia shivered slightly and returned to the kitchen. December had arrived, and soon enough, Mia would become familiar with Maine winters once more. For now, she savored the lack of snow outside, though the temperature certainly had dropped in the last few days.
As Mia continued cooking her chicken dish, Fuji began circling around her feet, meowing at her.
"You want dinner, I presume?" she asked.
His vibrant meows in response could only mean yes. As Mia got him settled with his own dinner, she heard the front door to her apartment unlock. Glancing up, Mia locked eyes with Leila as she stepped in the door. Her cheeks and nose were reddened from the cold, and a scarf was tied tightly around her neck.
"Brr, it's chilly out there," Leila said. Her attention immediately was drawn to the stove. "Are you cooking something?" she asked.
"Oh, I was trying out this new chicken dish," Mia said.
"Oh," Leila said, seeming surprised.
"Sorry, did you want something else for dinner?" Mia asked.
"No—I mean—no as in I didn't want anything else. You usually keep it simple, so I was surprised, that's all," Leila said.
"I figured I'd try something new," Mia said. For so many months she'd felt like an inadequate roommate. Leila had done so much for her, and Mia was struggling to find ways to return that selflessness. She supposed she could start by trying to cook nicer meals for the two of them.
"Well, I'm excited to try it," Leila said.
As Leila set her things down, Mia plated their dinner for the evening. She took a seat at the table and grabbed her fork, ready to dig in, but she felt it rude to do so without Leila. Leila emerged from her bedroom a few minutes later, and for a moment, Mia felt speechless. Leila was wearing a maroon sweater and her normal work pants. Mia had seen her in the outfit countless times before, and yet, she looked particularly beautiful tonight. Her throat grew dry as Leila approached.
"Oh, you didn't have to wait for me!" Leila exclaimed.
"That's okay. I don't mind," Mia said. She averted her gaze from Leila, unsure why. As she dug into her piece of chicken, she suddenly grew disappointed.
"Damn. It's dry," Mia murmured.
"It's fine," Leila said.
As they both ate quietly together, Mia began to speak. "You know, now that it's getting colder, it's finally starting to feel like Christmastime."
"I think so too," Leila said. "The beachfront was all lit up with lights as I was driving home."
"Maybe we could get a tree for the apartment?" Mia suggested. "My family and I used to get a live one every year. I miss going to the tree lots."
In New York, she'd had a fake 3 foot tree she would oftentimes place on her desk. There had been no space in her apartment to accommodate a real tree, not to mention it would take an eternity to get all the pine needles out of the rug.
"That sounds like a great idea! Let's do that!" Leila agreed.
As they ate, Mia felt like Leila was avoiding something. Mia herself had been hesitant to bring up the topic, but as she thought more of decorating the apartment together and getting a tree, she was reminded once more that this may be her last month living with Leila.
"Did you hear back at all?" Mia wondered.
Leila was quiet as she cut into her chicken. "Um yes. I heard back today actually," Leila said. "They want me to fly to Connecticut for an interview."
"Leila, that's great!" Mia exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me as soon as you got home?"
Leila shrugged. "I don't know. I'm still working out my availability, but I would probably fly out next week. Would you mind taking care of Fuji while I'm gone?"
Mia shook her head. "I don't mind. As long as he behaves himself," she said, making direct eye contact with Fuji who suddenly had climbed up on the counter.
"Hey, get down from there!" Leila shouted at the cat.
Fuji quickly leapt down and returned to his normal dozing spot on the couch.
"When would the job start?" Mia asked.
"Shortly into the new year," Leila said. "But I'll definitely be here the whole Christmas season. Speaking of which...what are you doing for Christmas?"
"Oh. Nothing, I don't think. I normally went home to visit my dad and his family, but..." Mia wasn't sure why, but she felt herself getting choked up all of the sudden. It seemed the reality had finally hit her that her father was gone, that even that small tradition they had shared of seeing each other over the holidays had faded as well.
"Oh. This is your first Christmas without him," Leila suddenly realized. She reached forward and squeezed Mia's hand with her own. "My parents would love to have you over, you know."
Mia wiped away a few spare tears. For months she had rarely cried over her father. She wondered why she was suddenly growing emotional over him this evening.
"Are you sure?" Mia asked. "I don't want to intrude. I already barged into your Thanksgiving."
"I don't want you being alone," Leila said.
"Okay then," Mia said.
They were relatively quiet with each other as Leila helped Mia with the dishes. Mia stole glances at Leila as they did so. She was lost in thought, thinking of the possibility that their time together may be ending soon. It pained Mia's heart to think it, but she didn't have the courage to share these thoughts with Leila.
"Something wrong?" Leila asked, noticing her stare.
Mia shook her head and returned to cleaning the dishes.
"Hey, I know it's cold out, but I've been craving icecream from the parlor down by the beach," Leila said. "Maybe we could get some and look at the lights?"
"Sure," Mia agreed.
Even if we'll be distant soon, I want to savor as much time as I can with her now, Mia thought.
After a short drive down to the beachfront, they were sitting indoors in the icecream parlor, looking out the window at passerbys. Leila was trying out the newest Christmas flavor – gingerbread -- while Mia had stuck with a simple caramel icecream.
As Mia watched pedestrians with bags in hand, she realized that the Christmas deals had already begun. She'd need to shop soon if she wanted to get any gifts to her friends to New York in time for the holidays.
"How was yours?" Leila asked when their cups of icecream were empty.
"Really good," Mia replied.
"I was surprised you didn't get a weirder flavor," Leila said as she opened up the door.
Mia braced herself as the breeze brushed against her. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.
"You used to get like, cotton candy and bubblegum when we were kids. Weird stuff like that. Caramel is a pretty mild choice for you," Leila teased.
"My icecream choices have matured as an adult, okay?" Mia complained.
"Aw, don't pout," Leila said, laughing some. "Are you still down to look at lights?"
"For a bit. It's pretty cold out here," Mia admitted.
"Okay! We don't have to walk around long. Personally, my hands are freezing," Leila said.
Mia wasn't sure what compelled her to do so, but she took ahold of Leila's hand.
"You're right. Your fingers are like icicles," Mia said. She squeezed tighter onto Leila's hand and walked down the street with her, staring at the various multicolored lights hanging from shop balconies. Beside her, Leila had gone quiet. Her gaze was turned in the distance, away from Mia.
"I-I think the Christmas tree is further down this way," Leila stammered.
She suddenly pulled Mia forward. The motion surprised Mia, but their hands remained interlaced. Mia was quiet as Leila led her down the sidewalk, and for a moment, time felt infinite to Mia. She thought of how months before, the nostalgia of walking down these streets made her heart ache in sorrow, but now, walking hand-in-hand with Leila eased her pain. The memories she had made since the spring had mainly been joyful, and Mia knew she owed a lot of that to Leila. Once again, Mia became saddened at the thought of Leila leaving her behind.
I can't be selfish though, Mia thought. Leila's done enough for me. The least I can do is continue to be a good friend until she moves.
At the end of the block was a tall Christmas tree, strewn with blinking white lights and a glittering star. Mia's eyes dazzled like she was a child again. She had forgotten how festive the town became this time of year. It made her miss Christmas as a child when she and her mother would go Christmas shopping together and enjoy warm beverages by the Christmas tree.
Leila slowly came to a halt by the Christmas tree, and Mia reluctantly released her grasp from Leila's hand.
There's probably no need for us to hold hands anymore, Mia thought.
"We should get a tree this weekend," Leila said, staring up at the tall tree, "before I fly to Connecticut. That way we can decorate it before I go."
"Sure. I'd like that," Mia said.
The wind picked up, causing Mia to shiver.
"Are you sure you're not cold?" Leila asked. "We can head back—"
"Just a little, but I'm okay, really!" Mia assured her. "I don't want to have to cut our outing short."
Leila reached for the scarf around her neck and slowly unwrapped it. Mia was confused, then stiffened as Leila began wrapping it around Mia's own neck. Mia stood still, staring up into Leila's eyes as she finished wrapping her scarf around Mia.
"You were stupid not to bring your own scarf," Leila said.
"I know," Mia murmured quietly. It was true the scarf felt warm against her neck, but Mia suddenly felt like she was burning up with Leila in such close proximity to her. "I enjoyed tonight. Thank you," Mia said.
"What? What did I do?" Leila asked.
So much, Mia thought. More than you know.
When Mia was silent, Leila sighed. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter. Just make sure you dress more warmly next time."
"I will," Mia said.
Once again, their gazes had locked. Mia grew quiet as her gaze diverted downward from Leila's eyes to her lips. Quickly, she glanced back up at Leila, hoping she hadn't noticed, but with the way that Leila's eyes had widened, Mia was sure she had.
"Mia," Leila said.
Mia's heart felt ready to pound out of her chest. The distance between them seemed to be shrinking, and though Mia wanted it to continue to, she knew whatever happened next would harm her if Leila were to truly leave in a few weeks.
But I don't care, Mia thought. I think I want—
Unfortunately, the sound of a car honking its horn quickly broke them apart, and they once again put distance between each other. Mia adjusted Leila's scarf on her neck and turned her gaze back to the tree, hoping her blush didn't reflect in the Christmas lights.
"Um, we should probably head back," Mia said. "I mean, we both have work tomorrow."
Leila nodded. "You're right." She reached her hand out, and for a moment, Mia stared at it before realizing what Leila was doing. Cautiously, Mia took ahold of her hand.
"Shall we?" Leila asked.
Mia nodded, and together, they walked back down the festive streets.