SEAFORD MALL COURTYARD
The boys are standing outside of the bed bath & go-cart store, There's a bright red go kart in the window up for sale.
"Six and a half horsepower engine." Jack Says
"Aluminum rims with independent suspension." Eddie Says
"Four-wheel servo-drive disc brakes." Milton Says
"It's... Red." Jerry Says
Abigail and Kim walks around the corner, their hair is different and has makeup all over them.
"Hey, guys." Kim Says
"Whoa." They Say
"Snap." Eddie Says
"Kim..Abigail, wow! You guys look... different..so hot dates tonight?" Milton Asks
"With a clown?" Jack Asks
"Hahah very funny." Abigail Says
"Go ahead and laugh, but we just got us twenty bucks closer to buying that go-cart." Kim Say
"Oh." They Say
"Yeah Wilford beauty college is paying people to be their practice dummy." Abigail Says
"My cousin chewie goes there, you know for his final, he trimmed my grandmother's mustache. He went through three pairs of scissors, but he got most of it." Jerry Says
"Man, I can't wait till we get that go-cart." Milton Says
"Oh, it's gonna be awesome." Abigail Says
"I cannot either." Jack Says
"I know, it's so awesome. - Vroom vroom vroom!" Eddie Says
They all enter the dojo, putting their bags away getting ready for practice.
"All right, time to kick in, I made forty bucks by visiting my great aunt betty. Every time I g she thinks it's my birday and gives me money, I went four times yesterday." Milton Says
"And I went twice." Jack Says
"Cindy connors gave me ten bucks to stop asking her out in front of her boyfriend." Eddie Says
"Someone put an I.O.U. In here. "Took five bucks to buy a foot-long at captain corndog's. It's dope, yo. Whoo!" Milton Says
"Who would do something like that?" Jerry Says While eating a corn dog
"Dude, come on, Jerry you're the only one who hasn't contributed to the go-cart fund." Jack Says
"I don't have the talent to make money, I even tried selling doors door-to-door. You know how hard it is to find a house without a door?" Jerry Says As Rudy Enters with a weird hair cut
"You guys are never gonna guess how I just made $10." Rudy Says
"Uh, practice dummy at the wilford beauty college?" Kim Asks
"No, I sold my old golf shoes. What's this about a beauty college?" Rudy Says
WASABI DOJO
Two days, Jack and Milton are training together with Rudy looking over then Eddie enters.
"Hey, Rudy, can I talk to you for a sec?" Eddie Says
"Yeah, absolutely, What's going on, Eddie?" Rudy Asks
"Anything I say is between you and me, right?" Eddie Asks
"I'm your sensei, whatever you told me stays between us." Rudy Says
"I got a pretzel food court the other day, I'm not sure I paid for it." Eddie Says
"Well, I can tell you right now that you didn't." Rudy Says
"I didn't?" Eddie Says
"No you obviously have a guilty conscience, It's eating you up! Eddie, we've gotta fix this. Sorry, guys, I gotta go. Gotta save Eddie from a lifetime of crime and incarceration. Dead man walking!" Rudy Says As He and Eddie leaves
Abigail enters with dirt all over her shirt, carrying her bag. Jack and Milton laughs a little.
"Uh Abigail don't you think you're a little to old to be playing in the dirt." Milton Says
"Coming from the dude who Larp's in the park with others in tights...that means nothing, besides I'm coming from my abuela's house." Abigail Says
"Oh why?" Jack Asks
"Because my grandmother asked all her grand children who wanted to help her out fixing her garden..no one did but I agreed to it, and since I'm such a sweet granddaughter she paid me $20." Abigail Says
"Nice." Milton & Jack Says
"Oh And I got another $10, from babysitting my brother and sister...so you guys are welcome." Abigail Says As Kim enters
"Ahhhh!" Jack Says
"Another ten bucks towards the go-cart, Has Jerry put any money in yet?" Kim Asks
"I haven't seen Jerry in two days." Milton Says
"Guys, we were pretty rough on him he's probably embarrassed he can't kick in enough for the go-cart." Jack Says
Outside the dojo they hear tires screeching, The walk out the dojo and see someone riding in the go-cart they've been saving up for. The person takes of their helmet and it's Jerry.
"Oh hey, you guys you like my new ride?" Jerry Says
"You bought our go-cart?" Abigail Says
"Yeah. I, uh, I decided to go solo." Jerry Says
He tosses his helmet to Abigail and she catches it, looking annoyed at him.
"Two days ago you couldn't go solo on a gumball." Milton Says
"That was before I got a job delivering meatballs for the meatball king." His Phone Rings "Gotta take this. Hello? Oh yeah yeah, I told you three times. I delivered the thing to the guy at the place." Jerry Says
They all circle around the go-cart admiring it, Jerry hangs up and looks Kim up and down.
"Okay okay. You know what, doll? Why don't you go get yourself fixed up." Jerry Says Handing her a 20
"That's it." Kim Says
Kim lunges at Jerry but Jack Holds her back from attacking Jerry.
"No no no!" Jack Says
Jerry gets back inside the go-cart, He whistle's for Abigail to give him back the helmet. She tosses it back to him, he puts the helmet on and drives off.
"I really want to be mad at him, but he looks so cool." Milton Says
"And cute." Abigail Says As They look at her
"Huh?" Kim Says
"I didn't say anything." Abigail Says
Meanwhile, Eddie and Rudy are walking around the mall but stops near the pretzel cart.
"Eddie, you're doing the right thing by telling the truth, you're learning the lesson that crime doesn't pay." Rudy Says
"Okay. Mr. Nelson, I took a pretzel yesteay and I don't think I paid for it." Eddie Says
"You sweet sweet brave boy, Here's five dollars." Mr.Nelson Says
"What? No no, what are you doing? I'm trying to teach him the lesson that crime doesn't pay and you are literally paying him!" Rudy Says
"Well, I'm trying to teach him that if you're honest and tell the truth, you should be rewarded." Mr.Nelson Says
"Not after stealing." Rudy Says
"The truth conquers all, little man." Mr.Nelson Says
"Oh. Oh okay, I guess if we're telling the truth here then I think maybe you would like to know that everyone in the mall thinks your pretzels are harder than your little wooden shoes." Rudy Says
"How dare you! You heissenphasser!" Mr.Nelson Says
He tosses the pretzel at Rudy and it hits him right on the nose.
"He just sucker-pretzeled me!" Rudy Says
"It's okay, Rudy. Let it go." Eddie Says
FALAFEL PHIL'S
Jack, Kim and Abigail are at a Phil's eating some lunch.
"I still cannot believe that Jerry bought our go-cart. This goes way beyond the go-cart." Jack Says
"I know right, all that hard work so we can buy it was for nothing." Abigail Says
"Yeah Ever since he started working for the meatball king he's been a whole different person, If he calls me doll one more time, I'm gonna pummel him!" Kim Says
"Okay, three falafel for—Oh! Holy ganoush." Phil Says
"I know, Phil My hair looks hideous." Kim Says
"I can fix this, I've seen worse." He Pulls down his apron, which has hair products "Do you mind if my hands dance with your "Harr"?" Phil Says
"Phil, do you even know anything about "Harr"?" Jack Asks
"Don't you worry, baby. I know what I'm doing. I'm frosting Tootsie's tips as we speak." Tootsie walks out from the back "No, Tootsie, you're not ready yet! Five more minutes, Back under the lamps Go. Go go go go." Phil Says
Tootsie walks in the back, a bald man dressed in all black walks in.
"Hey Phil, you've got a customer." Abigail Says
"Uh, hello, Mr.Dirk what bring you around to the town?" Phil Asks
"It's time to pay your bill." Dirk Says
"Please, I need more time." Phil Says
"You're outta time and I ain't playin' games." Dirk Says
"Games? I love playing games, Let's play hiding and the seeking. I'm going to hide—" Phil Says
"All right, that's it." Dirk Says
Dirk goes to punch Phil in the face but Jack stops his fist.
"You probably shouldn't have done that." Jack Says
Jack and Dirk rumble for a bit, He twist Dirk's arm and kicks him out the restaurant.
"Phil, who was that guy?" Jack Asks
"He collect the money for the meatballs that I do not need but I am forced to buy." Phil Says
"From who?" Kim Asks
"The meatball king." Phil Says
"The meatball king?" Jack Says
"That's Jerry's boss!" Abigail Says
Tootsie is back and she's eating the aluminum foil on back.
"Oh great, Tootsie. Now why would such a good little goat eat her tips?" A Timer goes off "And her timer?" Phil Says
MALL JAIL
Rudy decided to take Eddie to go speak with Joan.
"So do you think you can help teach Eddie a lesson?"
Rudy Asks
"You know, I'm not even 100% sure I actually—" Eddie Says
"Shut it, punk! Don't you worry, Rudy. The next time you see this one, he'll be what we call scared straight!" Joan Says
The workout equipment she was working out with flings out her hand and hits Rudy on his already swollen nose and he falls to the ground.
MEATBALL KING WAREHOUSE
"So, Jerry, tell the meatball king everything you know about Falafel Phil." Meatball King Says
"Okay, let's see. Phil-- Really weird accent, I think he's from minnesota. Uh, he loves Tootsie Oh,. And on his left foot , it's all big toes." Jerry Says
"Whoa, go back. Who's this "Tootsie"?" Meatball King Asks
"Oh, his goat. They're tight, yo. Whoo." Jerry Says
"You hear that, Dirk? Phil loves his goat. Heh heh heh." Meatball King Says
"Hearing about phil gives me the courage to confess my dirty little secret. My left foot... Is a hand." Dirk Says Then cries
WASABI DOJO
Rudy walks our from his office, there's an ice pack to his face while Milton is punching the bag.
"The twitching stoped, I think the swelling is finally starting to go down. How's it look?" Rudy Says Showing Milton his nose, he grimaces an gags
"Yeah. Maybe a couple more minutes." Milton Says
"Hey guys is Jerry in here?" Abigail Asks
"Yeah, he's in the locker room." Milton Says As Jerry enters wearing a new Gi
"Um, what are you wearing?" Kim Asks
"A custom-made gi, My new boss got it for me. Check it." He presses a button and his Gi roars "Whoo." Jerry Says
"That is the tackiest gi I've ever seen. I mean, where would one even go to buy such a thing? In a medium?" Rudy Says
"Jerry, your new boss is forcing people to buy mtballs. He's a criminal." Jack Says
"Huh. Sure he is. You know what? You guys are just jealous cause I've got—" Jerry Says As Phil enters
"The meatball king stole Tootsie!" Phil Says
"What?" They Say
"Give me my money or the goat gets it. The meatball king." That doesn't prove anything you know how many meatball kings there are in the world?" Jerry Says
"He took Tootsie!" Jack Says
"You know how many Tootsies there are—" Jerry Says
"Jerry!" Abigail Says
"I get it. I'm working for a criminal!" Jerry Says
He walks back to the locker room to change, on the back of his Gi there's a tiger tail and it spins.
"Ohhh, I gotta get one of those gis." Rudy Says
Moments later, Rudy is on the phone with the police reporting that tootsie is stolen.
"That's right officer, Tootsie is a goat Oh Okay then, thanks take care." He hangs up "Yeah, they're not going to help us." Rudy Says
"I'll never see my Tootsie ever again." Phil Says
"It's okay, Phil, let's look at her photo album again."Kim Says
"Yeah? Okay." He Flips open the album "Oh, this is my favorite. It's from her baaa-mitzvah." Phil Says
"This is all my fault, I just saw an opportunity to make some really good money, I didn't realize what I was doing." Jerry Says
"Okay I must figure out a way to pay this ransom." Phil Says
"And then what? You'll be back to overpaying for meatballs that you don't need. Guys, we have to stop him." Jack Says
"But how?" Phil Asks
"Yeah.It's not like I can just stick my phone onto my chest, go into the meatball king's office, record his confession, then take the evidence to the police department." Jerry Says
"Jerry that's it!" Abigail Says
"What is?" Jerry Says
"What you just said, that's the plan." Milton Says
"But where are we going to put the phone?" Kim Asks
"Um Jerry take your shirt off." Abigail Says
"Whoa Whoa Abigail, my body's a temple." Jerry Says
"Just take the shirt off!." Abigail Says
"Okay Fine." He takes off his Gi, Milton takes His phone and tapes it to his chest "You guys really think this'll work?" Jerry Says
"Absolutely." Abigail Says
"We'll record the whole confession here at the dojo." Milton Says
"Got it." His Phone Rings "Oh ho ho! Cindy meyers. Gotta take this." He rips it off "Ahhhh! Yo ho ho, what it do, girl?" Jerry Says
MALL JAIL
"Step inside, my friend take a look around." Joan Says
Eddie steps inside the cell, Joan joins him and they look around.
"It's a little cramped." Eddie Says
"Oh, you think it's cramped now? Wait till you meet your cellmate." She takes off her uniform and reveals her orange jumpsuit "What's up, fresh meat? I'm Norma. Let me give you a little survival tip, huh? When we get down to the mess hall, if gert asks for your oyster crackers, take it from me-- give 'em up." Joan Says
"Um, Joan?" Eddie Says
"Joan ain't here." She Says
"Well, when you see her, tell her she tossed the keys out with her uniform." Eddie Says
"Oh, when I see her, I certainly-- Holy hanna!" Joan Says
MEATBALL KING WAREHOUSE
Jerry is outside the office of the meatball king, pacing back and forth.
"It's gonna be a few minutes, The meatball king's on the phone with the big boss, The Schnoz." Dirk Says
He Laughs "Schnoz-- that's a funny name, man hey, how come I've never seen the Schnoz?" Jerry Says
"Cause no one's ever seen him all we know is he's got a big nose that covers half his mustache, and the only time he shows up is when it's your time to go." Dirk Says
"Go where?" Jerry Asks
"You know--go." Dirk Says
"Oh ho ho. I'm sorry, I still don't know where anyone's going." Jerry Says
The phone rings and Dirk answers it. "Okay, boss. He'll see you now."
"Okay, I'm going in." Jerry Says
Back At the dojo, Everyone is listening in on the meatball king & Jerry'a conversation through a radio connected through Jerry's phone.
"Okay what do you want to see me about, Jerry? I'm busy." Meatball King Says
"Uh, well, you know, I was-- I was just in the neighborhood and I was wondering what your thoughts are on crime and all the other stuff, particularly vis-a-vis, you know, goat stealing. And before you answer, can you please state your full name?" Jerry Says
"Jerry, I don't have a lot of time for this. Is there a reason why you're here?" Meatball King Asks
"Yeah, there is, king. I know you goatnapped Tootsie and I was the one who told you about her, I want a piece of the action!" Jerry Taps his chest ending the call
"Oh no!" Milton Says
"What just happened?" Kim Asks
"We got disconnected." Milton Says
"What we should do?" Jack Asks
"Um Call him back?" Abigail Says
"Yeah yeah, Call him back, call him back." They Say
As Abigail calls Jerry's phone
"She's so smart!" Phil Says
"So there ya have it-- every detail of my life of crime." Jerry's Phone Vibrates "Something wrong, Jerry?" Meatball King Asks
"Huh? Oh no no, everything's fine." Jerry pats his chest and his ringtone plays
"Where's that coming from?" Meatball King Asks
"My-- my-- my soul, Is it just me or is it getting a little hot in here, right?" He pours himself a glass of water, tosses it all over himself "Whoo!" Jerry Says As he starts getting electrocuted
"You okay, Jerry?" Meatball King Asks
"Huh? Oh no yeah. Sometimes a man's just gotta... ...Dance! Oh whoo. I think I need to go to a... ...C-c-club! So I can get-- you know, get my groove... ...On! You know what? Great talk. I gotta go, man. Whoo!" Jerry Says Then jumps out the window
"Good kid, but he's got a lot of issues." Meatball King Says
MALL JAIL
"Check your pockets and see if there's anything I can eat." Joan Says
"I don't have anything but this receipt-- from the pretzel kiosk!" Eddie Says
"Okay, I'll take it. I'll take it." Joan eats it
"You know what this means? I'm an innocent man!" Eddie Says
"Oh yeah yeah, we're all innocent we gotta bust out of here, Eddie. You know what? I'm gonna do something I saw in a cartoon once. I'm going to pick that lock with my tongue." Joan Says
"Joan, the air vent!" Eddie Says
"Oh-- oh, the air vent. Yeah well, that might work. I don't know. I'll take a look-see here. Freedom-mmm!" Joan Says Crawling in the vent
WASABI DOJO
Jerry meets up with them, he's burned and covered with soap.
"Okay What I don't understand is why you're covered in suds." Abigail Says
"Well, just before I almost burst into flames, I ran through the car wash, where I realized two things: One, you know that blow-dryer at the end? It can literally blow your freckles off. And two, the meatball king was talking to his boss on the phone today And he was scared to death of him." Jerry Says
"How does that help us?" Jack Says
"He's never seen the guy! They call him the Schnoz." Jerry Says
"Why do they call him that?" Milton Asks
"Because he's got one gnarly-looking honker." Jerry Says
Jerry smiles and looks at Rudy, they all look at Rudy nodding their heads.
"What?" Rudy Says
SEAFORD MALL COURTYARD
It's night and Phil's all alone carrying a briefcase, the meatball king and his goons show up with tootsie.
"Glad to see you came to your senses, you got my money?" Meatball King Asks
"You got my goat?" Phil Asks
"Can't you can see she's right there?" Jerry Approaches "Jerry? Shouldn't you be making a delivery." Meatball King Says
"I'm done with deliveries, when I took a job with you, I didn't know what kind of person you were but I do now." Jerry Says
"What are you doing here with goat boy?" Meatball King Asks
"Goat boy's a friend of mine. In fact, he's got lots of friends. Some you might even know." Jerry Says
"Oh yeah? Like who?" Meatball King Asks
Rudy, Jack, Kim, Abigail and Milton appears through the fog wearing colored track suits, Rudy has a mustache covering his swollen nose.
"The Schnoz I would have been here earlier, but I got lost in all this fog." Rudy Says
"I swear on my mama's meatballs, If I knew phil was a friend of yours, I would have never disrespected him. Dirk, give 'em the goat." Meatball King Says
Dirk gives Phil back Tootsie, Rudy kneels down in front of her.
"Tootsie, welcome back to the family Let's go, Tootsie. You don't know how lucky you are That not a hair on Tootsie's-- The goat ate my fake mustache, didn't it?" Rudy Says
One of meatball king's hench men attacks them but Jack stops him, they all spread out and began fighting them.
Rudy kicks Dirk in the stomach then punched him, Jerry throws some kicks at one them and kicks him down. Milton dodges some attack from a man, Jack and his opponent is equally skilled at fighting.
Abigail blocks every punch her opponent aims at her, she catches his arm and kicks him in the stomach then the face and flips him on a table.
Kim kicks her opponent then flips him onto his back as well, Jack's opponent flips him and he lands on his feet and sweeps the leg taking him down.
Milton elbows the man and twists his arm, flipping him onto his back.
"Rudy! Meatball bazooka." Milton Says
The meatball king takes out his bazooka meatball gun and aims it at Rudy, Jerry sees this and jumps in front of Rudy getting hit with meatballs. Rudy runs after the meatball king but Dirk gets in the way and he kicks him down, the meatball king loads the bazooka again.
"You wouldn't-- okay." Rudy Says
"Freedom-mmm!" Joan Says landing on top of the meatball king
"This is where we go our separate ways good luck, kid." Joan Says
"Bye, Norma!" Eddie Says
"I can't believe you did this to me, Jerry! I treated you like a son. You were like family." Meatball King Says
"You're not my family, These people are my family" Jerry Says putting his arm over Abigail
"All I know is your family's crazy! Let's get out of here, guys." Meatball King Says then leaves
"Oh, Rudy, I found my receipt I did pay for that pretzel." Eddie Says
"Oh, really? Let's see it." Rudy Says
"I don't have it. Joan ate it." Eddie Says
"Here we go. First you steal and now you're lying. I've got a guy that deals with liars." Rudy Says, He and Eddie walks away
"I just want to say how sorry I am. I let the whole job thing get to my head and money should never be more important than friendship." Jerry Says
"You're right. But in the end, you were the one who came up with the plan to get Tootsie back and it all worked out and on top of that you got yourself a go-cart." Jack Says
"No, we got a go-cart." Jerry Says
"No way, dude!" Jack Says
"Yes." They Say
They hear tires screeching in the distance, Joan is in the go-cart.
"Whoo-hoo! Two hours to mexico, losers!" Joan Says
HIGHWAY
Joan got pulled over by an officer.
Oh oh, hello, officer. You're probably wondering why I was speeding, wearing a prison jumpsuit and driving a tiny stolen car. Ahem. I should tell you that I left my drivers' license on the floor just outside the jail cell I broke out of. whoa whoa, easy there, big fella. Hey-- is that your motorcycle back there? I think you have a flat tire." She Drives again but it dies "Should have gassed up." Joan Says