"Maybe I am learning how to love me more"
Millie sighed and skipped the song. She was sick of all these cringey words.
"I'm a disappointment, I stay up, take drugs, I miss appointments"
The fact that Millie related to those lyrics made her even more pissed, but she liked the tune and kept it playing. She looked at the clock on her bedside table, displaying that it was 2:16 am. Her stomach grumbled as she had not eaten for 13 hours, but she had lost her appetite so she stayed in her bed.
"Go to sleep," her inner voice admonished, "you have school in 6 hours, and work straight after that."
Millie groaned and hit her head with a pillow. It was nice to know her brain was against her, too. Insecurities circled around in her head.
You're going to run out of money for your hormones soon.
Your belly isn't flat enough.
You're going to fail university.
You're going to end up homeless and depressed on a footpath.
Finally, fatigue won and she fell into a light, restless sleep.
"Now everyone, that concludes our lecture for today. Take a look at the revision I have assigned you all tonight, and contact me if you have any questions" Mr Owens flicked his ponytail back over his shoulder as he picked up his briefcase.
Millie gathered her notes and placed them in her folder. She got up from her seat; ready to follow the rest of the students filing out of the lecture theatre, but Mr Owens called her over.
"Hey, Millie!" Mr Owens was a young teacher, in his early thirties, and he was one of the only teachers in Otago University that called her by her proper name, not her dead name. "You seem really tired and haven't been paying attention in my classes for a while. What's going on?" He looked at Millie with such a genuine and caring stare that made Millie want to tell him everything.
"I've just got a lot on my mind, that's all."
His eyes flashed, showing that he didn't believe her, but he let her go anyway.
"See you later, then," said Millie, awkwardly shuffling away and then running towards the door.
Outside, she took a deep breath.
"Sup, M!" Her friend Mickey called. Millie looked up to see her friend walking towards her. Mick was in their gold skirt and oversized hoodie, with some fluffy brown hair sticking out of the hood.
"Hey Mick," replied Millie.
"Wanna come party with the gang tonight?"
"I'll see if I can finish work early."
"You're always working," complained Mick.
"Yes, because I need money, now shoo!"
"Bleghh" mumbled Mick.
Millie chuckled to herself as Mick walked off, shoulders slouching. Her friend always cheered her up.
She got in her car, put some music on and started driving.