CHAPTER ELEVEN
•••
When Kie pulled her car up to Collins's house after they'd been caught up in a fist-fight with Topper, Rafe, and Kelce and they'd pretty much committed arson, Collins had totally forgotten to worry about Charlie and what he was going to think of all this.
So when she saw him in their front yard with a guitar in his hands, sitting next to a bonfire of all the wood they'd collected from their yard, a panicked, "oh shoot" had been uttered.
JJ, Pope, and Kie all turned to look at her for confirmation to get out of the car. It wasn't like she was going to deny them of medical care. She was going to have to face Charlie with the gash on her face eventually, and just suffer his wrath sooner than later. Except, she was going to try and get him to hold off on it until at least morning.
"It's alright, guys. Charlie's cool." He's just gonna be really upset at first.
Opening the doors and climbing out of the vehicle, Collins walked up first while everyone else followed behind her. She knew her brother, he was going to see her face and freak out, demand for answers, and lecture her about the same things he always did, but he was still going to be a safe space for them to come to. They just had to get through the rough parts first before they reached smoother waters.
"Hey, how was the movie?" Charlie was too busy looking at his guitar strings to look up at her at first, but once he did and she had approached closer, he turned his head and his eyes immediately landed on the red blood smeared across her face which was originating from the cut along the edge of her cheekbone.
Charlie's smile faded and he looked past her to examine everyone else's damage from where he sat in the dim lighting. Even from his chair he could see JJ's split lip, Pope's bloody teeth, and Kie's dirt and grass stained clothes. They all looked a mess.
"I promise, that there is a perfectly good explanation for all of this, which I will be happy to tell you after we get cleaned up." Collins told him, maintaining her composure because if she didn't, then Charlie wouldn't either, even though it was clear that he wasn't even trying.
"Well, you can start by telling me who the fuck did that to your face." Charlie's brows were knit tightly and his jaw was clenched angrily, standing up to inspect his sister's wound more closely, and realizing that it looked worse nearby. His hands were twitching murderously at his sides, no one would ever want to be responsible for committing an act as stupid as messing with Charlie Jacobson's little sister.
As Collins began to open her mouth to answer, JJ quickly stepped in and stopped her, shaking his head. "I don't think you wanna know that."
If Charlie found out that it was Rafe Cameron that caused the dark painting of blood on Collins's face, they'd probably become witnesses to a murder. JJ couldn't let that happen, especially not when those Kooks were after them because of something he and Pope did. Even if he did hate Rafe with a burning passion and would be more than happy for the guy to get a taste of his own medicine, he wasn't going to let it happen at the expense of Collins.
"Do your lip a favor, and stop talking, Maybank."
"Charlie," Collins scolded sharply, "it doesn't matter who did it, what matters is that it's over now." Turning to her friends behind her, Collins spoke more calmly. "There's a first aid kit inside, you guys can come in and I'll get everyone checked out."
Leading everyone into the house, Collins normally would've been more self-conscious about that fact that this was Kie and Pope's first time being in her home and she probably would've been more embarrassed about everything. But she had so many other things on her mind that it all felt so trivial, and had been promptly pushed to the back of her mind.
"I'm fine." Kie told her once they were in her room. She and Pope were sat on the edge of her bed while JJ was leaned up against her wall, fiddling with her frog figurine. "Topper barely even touched me, too busy choking Pope out." The aforementioned boy clutched his throat and swallowed thickly.
"I'll go grab some water for you guys. Feel free to dig through the first aid kit for whatever you need. Don't forget to disinfect."
She retreated from her bedroom to head towards the kitchen, grabbing a couple of glasses from the cabinet and started filling them up one by one. The screen door squeaked open and snapped close, alerting Collins that Charlie had come in.
She glanced over her shoulder and turned her gaze upwards to smile tightly at her brother, whose hard expression appeared to be set in stone, as it hadn't changed a single bit since he laid eyes on her.
"What happened out there tonight?" He demanded to know. "You asked me to trust you and I did, but you're coming home with your face covered in blood, looking like Carrie at the prom. You see where I'd be a little worried about you?"
Collins chuckled, although she knew that was probably inappropriate given the circumstances, but she just couldn't help herself. Charlie's comparison to her and Carrie White was impossible not to giggle at even just a little bit, at this point, all Collins could do was laugh over the whole situation.
"Charlie, it wasn't our fault, they jumped us. I had to do something. This," she motioned to her face with a shrug, "it's just collateral damage. I'm fine, seriously."
Moving closer to her to whisper lowly so that no one in the other room could hear, Charlie said, "This isn't normal for you Collins. Coming home late, getting into fights, you were never like this until you started hanging around them. I don't like it."
"Don't try to blame this on them, my friends weren't the ones that did this to me, Rafe did. They've always had my back, I had to do the same for them."
"Rafe Cameron was the one who hit you?"
Collins rolled her eyes and softly groaned. "Let me know when you decide whether you want to discuss who I choose to be friends with or who the fist that smashed my face belonged to, because I'm getting whiplash from this conversation."
Brushing past him with the cups of water in her hands, Collins carefully carried them back to her room where her friends were waiting. Everyone seemed to have changed positions, because suddenly, Kie was nestled in her little reading nook and flipping through the months of her nature calendar, Pope was studying her first place science fair trophy with a subdued look on his face, and JJ was lying on her bed with his ball cap over his face like he was trying to take a nap.
Collins handed Kie and Pope each a glass of water, before walking up to JJ, who was last. Pinching the bridge of his cap between two fingers, Collins slightly lifted it up to peek at him underneath. JJ's eyes had been closed, but he opened them as he sensed movement.
"Did you even wash your face?" She asked him with a sigh, although the answer was clear from the splotches of blood still evident around his jaw.
"You're one to talk." JJ shot back, pointing at the dried blood on her own. She reacted by rolling her eyes and pointedly taking an antiseptic wipe and cleaning away the blood. Once she was pretty sure she'd gotten most of it off, she tossed the wipe in the trash and sat down beside him.
"He refused medical treatment, claimed DNR. Said he only wanted 'Dr. Collins'." Pope shook his head from his place in the room. He himself had a simple bandaid on his forehead from reopening the wound that had already been inflicted.
Collins just chuckled, sitting next to JJ on her bed before pulling her first aid kit in her lap and digging through its contents for the right materials.
"How's Charlie taking everything?" Kie questioned from the corner, looking up from over the calendar with raised brows.
Collins shrugged, keeping her eyes down on getting the package of gauze open. "Could be worse. I promise that he's not usually this hotheaded, he just cares a lot."
"Maybe we can try and explain a little bit, not too much, but just enough so that he doesn't feel so frustrated about being in the dark. Need to know only, but we can talk him down." Collins was thankful for Kie's suggestion. It wasn't a terrible idea. Charlie might benefit from hearing the story from another source. It was like when she was the one trying to ease his mind, suddenly she's too naive to know any better.
"That would be really helpful. Thanks."
Kie stood up and motioned for Pope to follow, the two briskly clearing out of the room, leaving Collins and JJ to themselves. They hadn't left without casting suggestive glances to the unofficial couple, which had been poorly concealed.
"Alone at last." JJ announced, a playful smile tugging at his hurt lip, he winced and wrinkled his nose in a manner that Collins thought was sort of cute. Even when his attempts to act all cool and smooth were spoiled, Collins still found herself under his influence.
"Be quiet and sit up for me, will you?" She leaned over to the cup on her nightstand in order to draw some water into a syringe.
"Yes, ma'am."
Once she had her syringe prepped and a towel in hand, Collins scooted closer to JJ and held the tip of the syringe at his lip and the towel under his chin. "I'm just gonna wash it out quick before I disinfect it."
While she began ejecting water directly onto his cut, JJ made sure to hold still as she worked. He watched her carefully under his gaze, observing the concentration in her facial expression that was trained on taking care of him. She would make the best doctor that anyone would be lucky to have. There was just something so comforting about her, it was her aura, the energy that she seemed to emit in strong waves. It was hypnotic almost; JJ was too mesmerized by her to think about his own injuries.
"Remember when I brought up the idea that we play hospital? This is pretty much exactly what I was imagining it going like. With the omission of some." Collins grinned in amusement, bringing JJ's attention back to the tear in the skin on her cheekbone. That just went to show how distractingly beautiful she was, even the bloody cut on her face could be ignored because JJ was pretty sure that nothing on earth could make Collins look unattractive. "Is it bad that I find this cut on your face kind of hot?"
"JJ." Collins started, rolling her eyes. There was no way that he could think that a cut on her face was charming. If he did, then she would probably have to start rethinking what men found attractive because injury couldn't be it.
But JJ wasn't finished. "I mean like, the story behind it is hot. You got it going after Rafe to stop him from beating me up. No one's ever done that for me before. Not gonna lie though, I don't know how my manhood will recover from an embarrassment like this. I should be saving you."
Collins raised her brow dubiously at him. "You're telling me that John B, after all your years of friendship, has never fought someone for you? Topper, at the Boneyard?"
"Okay, well, no girl has ever beaten someone up for me."
"I'd hardly call what I did, 'beating someone up.' It was more of a tussle if I had to give it a word. Very mild. Kie?"
JJ shook his head. "Nope. At least not that I can think of. Never physically. Just you."
Collins didn't say anything, she wasn't really sure what to. She'd never thrown a punch at someone in her life until she started hanging out with the Pogues. What do you usually say when someone tells you that they've never had someone punch another person for them before? You're welcome?
She began pouring some alcohol onto a cotton ball and carefully touching it to JJ's wound to shut him up for a bit. His face twisted at the sting, but he held still and took the pain and savored it, because he liked Collins's delicate touch. Collins blotted his lip with the gauze one last time and then she was finally finished.
"Can you lift up your shirt for me?" She requested politely.
JJ stared at her, dumbfounded for a second before glancing over to the open entryway into her room. "Okay," he drawled, so this was happening now. He had to admit, he thought it would take more than a simple thank you for defending his honor to seduce Collins Jacobson but he supposed he'd gathered that she was a girl who appreciated the simple things in life. Raising his brows at her, still in awe of what was going on, JJ asked, "Do you wanna maybe close the door first?"
Collins cast him a blank look. "I need you to lift up your shirt so I can check for any broken ribs, you goof."
JJ frowned upon the sudden turn of events he had hoped they were on, much to his disappointment. He shifted his body position on the bed so that he was now laying down with his head on her pillow, and lifted his shirt up for her with a big sigh. "Collins Jacobson, you're killing me here."
There was entertained expression on her face, then as she turned her attention to JJ's exposed abdomen, Collins felt her mouth go dry. It wasn't just because JJ Maybank was fit and carved like a stone cut marble statue, his tan skin reflecting contours that had an undeniable allure to them. Part of the reason why Collins felt like she was holding her breath without even realizing it was because she was suddenly putting her hands on his body in a completely personal, yet unintentionally intimate manner. Her fingertips hovered over his skin for only a split second, but in those fleeting moments, it was as though the boy and girl had become frozen with anticipation, and at first touch, millions of nerve endings were going haywire at the sensation.
Collins examined the red marks on JJ's stomach with a grimace on her face, knowing that there must've been pain to her touch as she felt the splotches littered across his body. She carefully applied some pressure with two fingers, and watched JJ's expression observantly.
"Does that hurt?" She asked him quietly, the silence in the room was deafening. JJ shook his head, wordless, but his eyes were still trained on her every move. Moving her hands to a different area on his torso, Collins performed the same actions. "What about that?"
"Didn't even feel it." JJ murmured. He did, it hurt like a bitch, but how on earth could he have felt anything remotely resembling pain when Collins Jacobson was touching him? His brain couldn't receive any signals of trauma because it was too preoccupied with the tingles of Collins's gentle touch. Being touched by her was like being graced by an angel, which explained why he felt like he'd just been blessed just being at the tips of her fingers. "Not in a bad way either like it's numb or anything. Just doesn't hurt much."
There was a small tug at the corners of Collins's lips. "That's good. That means no broken ribs."
"Lucky me." JJ cheered softly.
Collins began to move to take her hands away, but at the loss of skin on skin contact, JJ swiftly grabbed her by the hands, and gently placed them back on his body. "JJ--" Collins felt her cheeks heat up, like all the warmth she was feeling under her palms was transferring directly to her face. She felt like she could practically feel JJ's blood rushing under his skin, that was how close they were- well, as close as one could get to already touching, but it was more than Collins had ever experienced.
Touching. What a weird thing to feel and do as she thought harder about it. Collins surprised herself by how little she had ever pondered about the sensation of her skin on another person's.
She thought about how in Chemistry they learned about how atoms were the building blocks of matter. Everything in the room around them, including JJ and Collins themselves, were made up of atoms. And she recalled the knowledge that she'd retained for the test which she'd passed with flying colors, that atoms never really touched because they didn't have hard boundaries in the way that humans conceptualized touch to require. If you were to narrow in on the space between Collins Jacobson's hand and JJ Maybank's chest at the atomic level, you would see that they were not in fact, "touching". This revelation was enough to make Collins want to pull her hair out of anguish because she wanted to close that space. She wanted to defy the chemical boundaries that separated her from this boy in front of her.
It was the second time in that sitting in which she had spoken his name. Each time had given him heart palpitations. "I'm just making sure you're being thorough." His palms encapsulated hers, suddenly highlighting the difference in size that she'd never noticed before. They were warm and rough like she remembered them, and they guided her hands around his chest so that she could feel his skin and also so he could feel her touch for a little while longer.
His breath fanned across her face and sent shivers up her spine. Collins couldn't muster the courage to look him in the eyes, her gaze was pointed downwards at his chest. Even though his shirt had fallen back down, her hands were still under the fabric, moving achingly slow around his body like they were roaming uncharted land and studying every indentation and marking that they came across. He had a small hypertrophic scar on his right side in between his second and third true ribs, she could feel the raised skin under her fingertips. She imagined what it looked like in her mind.
His right hand left hers and came up to touch the ends of her hair, twisting a curl around his index finger before letting it unravel itself and fall back into place. Could he hear how fast her heart was beating? How hard it pumped against her chest? He had to have with how close they were. He moved upwards and tucked the hair behind her ear, showing more of her face for him to examine further. The tip of his pointer finger brushed against the helix of her ear, a sensation which Collins never knew could be so nerve inducing. The mere touch left her yearning for more, tilting her head a bit without her even realizing it, to lean into his palm for more contact.
Her eyelashes fluttered with the meeting of his calloused palm to her soft jawline. As he cradled her face in his hand, Collins was finally able to look JJ in the eyes, a melted warm chocolate melded with a glassy ice blue, and they shared the moment together in the comforting confines of her room.
"What's your diagnosis, doc?" JJ asked, cocking his head to one side while he peered at Collins intently.
"I give you a clean bill of health, but with a hint of hypochondriasis. I'm not too worried about it, though." Collins smiled, then felt her breath hitch at the feeling of JJ's thumb rubbing against her bottom lip.
It was only them. No one else was in the room, no other sounds could be heard except each other's breaths, although Collins felt like she could hear her own heart beating. It wasn't the most romantic setting, but it felt perfect and it felt like it was the right moment. Collins didn't know if there even was a such thing as a perfect kiss; she'd heard about it, listened to music, watched movies, read books that talked about a groundbreaking first kiss. But those were all just words, ideas, stories. No one talks about fantastically ordinary kisses; the ones that don't involve rose petals and candlelit settings or extravagant backgrounds. Yet, there's still the metaphorical fireworks that alight inside the bodies of intimate individuals, there's a sureness that there is love, there is affection without the need of all the fancy details.
Maybe if people talked about the magic in what is mundane more often, then Collins would feel less afraid of the things she might feel, or more so of the things she may not.
What if there were no fireworks? No sparks of electricity, or tingles up her spine that made her whole body shiver? What did that mean then?
And to think that a little over an hour ago, she had been disappointed that JJ hadn't attempted to kiss her, and while he still had yet to, the big moment felt like it was soon to approach. Only now, Collins was second guessing everything that she had once thought or desired. Was she just going to be one of those shiny new toys that JJ liked to play with for a while before she became tarnished and he lost interest? She didn't want to put herself in the position to be hurt, she knew that JJ was much more experienced than her, and she didn't want to be naive enough to think that she was any different than the girls he'd been with before.
He had to know that she was new to all of this. Was he prepared to be her first? Was her purity just an attraction for him? Was he only seeking a prize from her? Something to boast to others about and hold around his neck like a gold medal for deflowering Collins Jacobson?
With all of these thoughts running through her head, Collins stopped feeling all of the tingles of electricity where her skin met JJ's and all she felt was a burn, so she pulled away to break all contact. JJ felt her slip through his fingers and was left in astonishment. He peered at her in a dazed wonder. One moment, he'd been lost in her eyes, then the next, he was trying to read her expression to figure out where the hell things went wrong. He'd been so close to closing the distance between them, if she'd just given him a second more, he could've shown her what words couldn't convey.
"I'm- I should go see how things are going with Charlie." She moved out of reach before JJ could pull her back to him. She began to pick up whatever wrappers from the gauze or other waste and tossed them into the trash can in a rushed manner that was almost too dizzying for JJ to watch.
"But- Collins, can you just wait for one minute?" JJ still remained in the same spot he'd been sat at, feeling like he'd just time traveled a few minutes into the future because he couldn't discern at what point things had taken a complete 180. It was like he'd blacked out for a measly few moments before Collins had decided to flip the switch on him, and now he was scrambling to catch up and pull back the reins.
"Seriously, I have to make sure Charlie isn't currently planning a murder." She feigned a chuckle and hid any resemblance of affliction in her expression with a mask of a smile.
JJ stared at her in dumbfounded bewilderment. How could she just ignore what had just happened between them— or more specifically, what could've happened? Did she not want to kiss him? Was the thought of doing so just so incredibly repelling that she had to make up feeble excuses to avoid it?
"Collins." The sound of his voice calling her name, stopped her in her tracks as she was about to leave, her hand catching the door to bring her to an abrupt halt before she waited for him to say more. "Can we at least agree that something just happened a few minutes ago? Just so I have confirmation that I didn't just make it up in my head?"
Partially hiding her body behind the wall next to the doorway, Collins looked at JJ from under her lashes timidly. His search for validation had resolved some of her own confusions, offering a bit of solace to the otherwise jumbled mess in her mind. It was nice to know that she hadn't completely made it up either, but now that meant there were larger issues which needed to be sorted out before she could even consider giving away her first kiss.
"You haven't gone crazy yet, JJ." She told him with a tight lipped smile before she tapped the door frame with her finger and disappeared down the short and narrow hall outside of her room.
JJ was left to his own devices, forced to ruminate on the most recent events between him and Collins Jacobson that wracked his brain alone. His head fell back and he collapsed on the bed with a deep sigh, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars pasted on her ceiling like the answer to all of his problems were written amongst them. Did she like him or did she not?
If he hadn't lost his mind already, then Collins Jacobson was soon to make sure he did.
•••
Charlie Jacobson had always had a lot of responsibilities.
For as long as he could remember, there were things in which he knew he was in charge of, otherwise it would never get done. At the age of six, his informally appointed job was to feed the stray cat that roamed around the neighborhood. At eight, it was to change Collins's diapers because their mom was always taking naps that lasted the whole day and wouldn't wake up to the crying wails of her daughter's discomfort. Thirteen, he had to wake up before the rest of the house to clear away the beer cans and pill bottles that littered the house before Collins used them as toys and something terrible happened.
Protecting Collins became his first and foremost priority, and that meant doing whatever he could to make sure her life wasn't ruined by everything shitty that surrounded it. It meant that he had to do everything in his power so that her life turned out better than anyone's in their family. And it meant your typical protective disposition, that he would never let anything in this world ever hurt his little sister if he could help it.
That's why when Collins came home bleeding and injured, his initial reaction was one of anger; anger over the fact that someone had thought it was okay to hurt her, to inflict damage on the person he'd tried her whole life to keep safe. And Rafe Cameron of all people, it shouldn't have surprised him. Charlie's blood boiled thinking about Rafe even laying a finger on Collins and he considered the idea that he could've possibly done it to spite Charlie.
But beyond all of his hotheaded fury, there was another sentiment that Charlie couldn't suppress hard enough to forget; disappointment. Not in Collins like he would think he'd be, although it had crossed his mind. Instead, Charlie was more disappointed in himself.
He'd thought about it after Kie and Pope had explained the whole situation to him. He'd had a joint between two fingers and was blowing out a steady stream of smoke from his mouth while he sat on the porch a ways away from the two, who were perched next to each other by the bonfire. They relayed all of the information that he needed, they told him about Pope getting jumped at the golf course and how seeing them at the movie showing had set them off. Charlie was reminded of Collins's mentioning about a run in she'd had with Topper at the shelter, and he was even more annoyed. With every smoke-filled breath that he took, he thought about what he'd been doing that night while Collins was gone.
After work, he came home at the same time Collins was flying out the door. They'd nearly gotten into a head on collision, if not for Charlie's quick reflexes that sidestepped himself out of the way before Collins could knock him down. "Hey, I'm going to Movies Under the Moon with JJ, Kie, and Pope." She was almost breathless, like she'd been rushing.
"No John B?" Charlie asked inquisitively. It seemed odd that he not be present.
"He's... not feeling well today." She awkwardly responded, but Charlie didn't look too far into it. "Do you wanna come with? I can't even remember the last time we watched a movie together, or watched a movie at all for that matter. It'll be fun."
Charlie considered her offer for a split second, but quickly dismissed it. "Nah, that's alright. I'll probably just kick back and enjoy the place to myself for a while. I grabbed some hot dogs that I can roast over a bonfire if you're interested when you get back."
Collins hummed. "Sounds good, I'll see you later, then."
He watched her leave to head over to Kie's car which awaited outside, catching a glimpse of Kie and JJ in the front seat as they cast her a wave in greeting. There was something so strange about the scene. Here Collins was, racing through the house to meet up with her friends, and spending her summer doing all the things that high-school kids do to have fun and make every second count. And then there was him; peeking through the screen door of their house to make sure his sister got picked up by the right people and realizing that he had become the dad that would not get a wink of sleep until he knew his kid was home safely. It was just a little out of the ordinary.
He'd spent that whole night basking in the peculiarity of it all. As he sat outside in front of the blazing fire that he'd ignited, he tried to enjoy the evening at home in rare solitude. The thing was, Charlie barely knew what to do with himself. There was no power to play any of the CDs on their speaker, no light strong enough to crack open one of Collins's many books. He thought about texting Ricky and seeing if he wanted to come over and hang out, but decided against it. He was going to enjoy every minute to himself that he had available, even if he didn't know how to use it.
That brought Charlie to their old guitar that he plucked at every once in a while. It was out of tune, in desperate need of a new coat of varnish, and was a horrible reminder of their dad, but mostly just for Charlie. He remembered listening to his father strumming away on the very same instrument when he was sober, before he drank his daily beer. The number from two a day slowly started ascending to three, then four, and you know the rest from there. Their dad was pretty good at playing, too. He knew all the good songs and even made some of his own.
Anyhow, that's what Charlie had been doing while Collins was getting into class war brawls. He'd been oblivious to everything that had been going on with her, because he'd spent the night worrying about himself.
If he were there, he could've stopped it. There was a likely chance that it may not have even happened. It was easy for Topper, Rafe, and Kelce to go after JJ and Pope when it was the three of them against two, and Collins and Kie don't exactly come off as a threat. If Charlie were there, he would've made sure that Collins was no where near in range of getting hurt, he would've taken that hit, that's how it was supposed to be.
While Kie had been explaining the whole night's events to him in their front yard, her words had nearly gone in one ear and out the other. Only a few words in groups and pairs seemed to make it through to him; Kie jumped Topper, Collins grabbed Rafe, Kelce choked JJ.
He wasn't stupid. Charlie had never been all that smart in school, in fact, he'd hated it for the most part and couldn't wait to get out. But if he had been good at Science, or Math, or English, basically any class, he probably would've liked it and kept going. That's why when Collins turned out to be a little genius, he made it his life's mission to push her all the way. You don't get a gift like that when you're from the cut and not take full advantage of it. And Charlie knew that Collins's intelligence was what was going to give her a better life. He could work all the 12 hour shifts he wanted, but he wouldn't be able to provide for her the life that she deserved- that was something she was going to have to do for herself.
With that being said, Charlie has always been street smart, common sense smart. It didn't take a scholar or a magnifying glass to put two and two together and see that JJ Maybank was into his little sister. And his little sister was quite obviously into JJ if she was going after bullies for him. Not to mention, these were people that scared her shitless. Collins had a lot of good qualities to her; her kindness, her intellect, her drive. But her greatest downfall was her timidness, her easy submission to bigger personalities. He'd tried helping her with it by inviting her out with him to parties and such, but it was never her thing.
Of course, the one night that he takes her out, she attracts JJ's keen interest. Hook, line, and sinker. He always thought she might have that affect on people. Their dad had always raved drunkenly about how beautiful their mother was; there was no one who could compare. And Collins had definitely taken more after their mother's looks than their fathers, unlike Charlie, so it was no question that she would hold the same magnetic effect on people.
JJ was the guy who always found those exceptionally pretty girls. He had a new one glued to his side at every party he went to. He mostly favored Tourons, as that meant that he'd never had to commit to any one of them. He'd man the keg with John B because it acted as the perfect bait for all his potential options for the night. He'd survey them carefully and pick the one that stood out to him the most and work his Maybank charm like magic.
"I'm not really looking for anything serious." He'd say from the get-go. It was better for avoiding confusion. "Long distance isn't my thing."
And Charlie didn't blame him. He didn't judge him for it either, at least not until it was suddenly Collins he was talking to at the Boneyard. Charlie had only left her alone for ten minutes-- maybe 15 or 20, but that's not the point.
The point was that Charlie knew how JJ operated, he'd witnessed it on many accounts and had nothing to say in criticism for it. But things were different now.
What kind of protector would Charlie be if he didn't keep his sister from getting her heart broken by the island heart breaker? He had a better gauge for these kinds of things- seeing deception where it may lie. And JJ was a disaster waiting to happen. He was reckless, impulsive, and a player. Collins didn't see that; she didn't think the worst about anyone. She still thought the best of people, no matter what. She didn't know how to protect herself from the potential dangers that could be ahead, but Charlie could.
He realized that Kie and Pope had been acting as somewhat of a distraction, maybe not totally by intent though. However, while he was out there with them, that meant that Collins was inside with JJ— alone. He knew damn well what kind of shit goes down if JJ Maybank is left alone with a girl in a bedroom. Collins wasn't going to be one of those girls.
Charlie was just about to storm into the house when his sister joined them outside. There was a subtle sigh in relief that Charlie expressed at the sight of her, but his nerves hadn't totally been eased. Who knows what kind of ground JJ can cover in 20 minutes?
He observed her behavior and noticed that she seemed a bit closed off. Her right hand was holding her left arm and hugging it to her side like she was only half-cold. Her face didn't show much emotion, it was neither happy nor sad.
JJ soon came in after her and it was only when he did that Charlie was finally able to get a good sense of understanding their relationship-- or lack thereof. Because JJ didn't appear to be in any sort of upbeat mood like he probably would've if he had just been macking on Collins.
Charlie sort of half expected JJ to be fighting a smug smile off of his face or walking with a bounce in his step, but he didn't do either of those things. He was quiet, uncharacteristically so. It was blatantly obvious that nothing intimate had gone down between the two, based on the distance separating them like repelling magnetic forces. It was almost like they were afraid to be near each other.
Charlie tried not to show how pleased he was by this.
When everyone had left and it was just family, Charlie decided not to bombard Collins with all of his questions right away. He would get to them eventually, but in that moment, it was peaceful and you don't get a lot of moments like that and just pass them up. Plus, the weed in his system had mellowed out his temper quite a bit, so that was also another factor to acknowledge. They sat together for a while, basking in the quiet and the night sounds surrounding them. The fire crackled, though it wasn't as strong as it was before when Charlie was feeding it wood on a continuous loop. It had lost some of its flame, but it was very much still ablaze.
"Was it worth it?" Charlie finally asked, breaking the silence. He had his arms crossed over his chest as he peered over at Collins curiously. Ease into it. He told himself.
Moving to sit next to him on the steps, Collins squatted down and hugged her knees to her chest, looking out into the darkness while she breathed in the fresh air and the smell of the bonfire. She didn't need to think too hard about her answer, so it didn't take long for her to respond. "If it were me that you had to defend, wouldn't you say so?"
Charlie chewed the inside of his cheek and shrugged. "I guess." She had a point. It wouldn't take much to provoke him into a fight if someone were to mess with Collins. He paused, before speaking again. "I'm just so fucking mad."
"Promise me that you won't do anything, Charlie. I don't care how mad you are, you can't get back at them for this."
"You're sounding a bit hypocritical, Collins." Charlie scoffed.
"It doesn't count if they hurt me while going after my friends. You don't get to beat them up for that. You don't get to beat anyone up for anything just because you're my big brother." Collins held a stern look on her face as she spoke to Charlie, because she needed to make sure she got through to him. She wasn't going to let him retaliate because she knew that more likely than not, anyone at the brunt of Charlie Jacobson's beating wouldn't walk away without crutches, or something related to that.
"I'm always gonna be your big brother, Colls. Protecting you is in the job description."
She shook her head. "At some point you're gonna have to start letting me fight my own battles."
"Yeah, your battles. Not JJ's."
Collins pursed her lips at Charlie's remark. She hadn't expected him to say something like that. But then again, she sort of did. Which was he more mad about, the fight or whatever was going on between her and JJ?
"I'm not talking about this with you. Not just because I don't need you telling me what's best, but because there is quite literally, nothing to talk about. A week ago, he didn't even know my name." As the words were leaving her mouth, Collins found herself contemplating over them. Saying it out loud had seemed to bring some clarity to her that she hadn't had before.
What did JJ really even know about her? What did she know about him? They didn't know each other at all. Apparently she'd been a ghost the whole time she sat in front of him in Economics class because he'd never once acknowledged her existence until summer break began. And yet, she knew his name, who his friends were, and his reputation. Was that kind of pathetic?
She thought so, because she didn't feel good thinking about it. How could JJ like her when he'd never even asked her what her favorite color was? Orange. Or what her favorite animal was in the whole entire world? Frogs. He didn't know either or those those things, and it didn't seem like the kind of thing he would even care about, because he was always too busy making her flustered with his shameless flirts.
Charlie could tell that there was a lot going through his sister's mind that she wasn't confiding in him about. Before he could utter a question to prompt her to share, she swiftly stood up and strode back into the house and into her room, shutting the door.
Closed doors meant total privacy. It was law in the Jacobson household.
So Charlie respected the rule. He had to. But that didn't mean that his feelings about JJ had gone away. He knew that there was something going on that he wasn't aware of and he wasn't going to let it keep tearing Collins apart and distracting her from what was important. If he couldn't protect her from the harm guys like Rafe Cameron imposed, then he was just going to have to go to the source; JJ. As long as JJ was around, Collins was never going to be safe. Not physically, or emotionally.
He worked a shift at Heyward's that next morning. He hadn't expected them to be there, but given that Pope was always working at least one shift in the day, JJ and Kiara were around to keep him company.
He tried his best to keep his focus down on his work but found it difficult to block out the conversation across from him. They were discussing the night before; Pope was pretty discouraged about the whole thing, seeing as they weren't able to inflict as much damage on the Kook brigade as he would've wanted to.
But JJ wasn't going to admit loss quite so soon. "Don't let it get in your head, bro, there was three of them and two of us. That's some typical Kook shit, right there." Charlie had to agree, although he would've liked it better if his sister hadn't felt so inclined to make up for those numbers. "What was your thought process, using your head?" JJ quipped with an amused smile, referring to Pope's head butt which had pretty much initiated the whole fight.
Shaking his head, Pope scoffed. "I don't know, man, I just kind of acted off of instinct. I was a cornered animal."
While the three friends laughed at his response, Charlie found himself unable to stand by any longer without pulling JJ aside and finally having the talk that had been long awaited. Shoving the bag of jigs in his hand back onto the rack, Charlie navigated through the small shack and came up to JJ so that they were face to face.
"Can I talk to you for minute?" He said it in a manner that didn't come off as menacing right away. He was working on controlling his temper, and that started with maintaining his composure.
JJ looked at him warily, but nodded in agreement nonetheless. "Yeah, sure. You got it, CJ."
The two swiftly walked out of the shack so that they could speak more privately. JJ glanced back at his friends, who furrowed their brows in confusion, and he just shrugged cluelessly in correspondence.
As Charlie and JJ found themselves alone on the dock, it was clear that there was hesitancy between both of them. Charlie was hesitant to say what he was about to say, and JJ was hesitant to continue standing there and listen in anticipation for what Charlie wished to speak to him about. All JJ knew was that he had a bad feeling about everything.
"I'm just gonna come right out and say it." Charlie began. "I need you to stay away from my sister."
It took a couple of seconds for JJ to fully comprehend what it was that Charlie had just said. He felt like he might've heard him wrong at first, but who was he kidding? Collins's older brother, Charlie, was forbidding him from seeing her. There was nothing to be confused about there. And he shouldn't be surprised.
"Look, Charlie,"
"No, listen to me, JJ." Charlie cut him off. "She's never done half the stuff you have somehow gotten her to do in the week that you've actually acknowledged her existence. She never left the house every single day to ditch studying, she never stayed out past curfew and forgot to tell me where she was, and she sure as hell didn't get into fights that she has no chance of winning. Explain to me how that happened-- how a girl on the track to become a freaking doctor, is somehow this close to ruining her chances by hanging around you and your band of Pogues."
"I don't know." JJ mumbled. He had his hands shoved in his pockets and a slouch in his posture as he absorbed everything that Charlie was telling him with disdain.
Charlie was right. Although he didn't know just how drastic of a change this was, everything that Collins had done was because she'd started hanging out with JJ and their friends. He'd never thought of them as bad influences; with Pope, their golden child, they'd always managed to keep him with one foot in trouble and one foot out. He'd never considered how Collins could've been different, and that her association with them would lead to a path of self-destruction that JJ would never have wished on her.
He wanted her to be successful, that's why he'd vouched for her to have a share in the gold. He would've never done that for just anyone. He knew how much she needed the money, and he thought that he was investing in her future. JJ had never considered the thought that the way they were to get that money, could've done more harm to her than good.
"She doesn't need this kind of distraction in her life." Charlie said more calmly, though his words still stung. What he was actually saying, was "she doesn't need you, JJ." Because he wasn't good enough for her; doctors and bottom feeders don't go together.
JJ stared down at the ground almost shamefully. What was he supposed to do? Refuse? He knew how much Collins loved her brother, how could he possibly disrespect his wishes? And if it ever came down to it, he would never ask her to choose between him and her own family-- Charlie was all that she had left and vice versa. They needed each other. It was crazy for him to even think that it would ever be up for debate.
Collins was a smart girl, and it didn't take much to see that he didn't deserve her. He wasn't worth fighting for, and he shouldn't let her. JJ needed to let her go, let her be better so that she could have better; that just wasn't him. Maybe in another life it was, but not this one.
JJ should've known that this was how it would go. He'd never be the model boyfriend that you could take home to the parents, he didn't fit the part and he didn't look it either. What happened last night between him and Collins seemed to prove that maybe she knew that, too. He was only going to hold her back.
It wasn't until Pope was being escorted out of the fish shack in handcuffs by Deputy Shoupe did Charlie and JJ abandon their conversation. All thoughts of Collins immediately dissipated as confusion and anger bubbled in its place.
"What the fuck is going on?" JJ demanded as he quickly approached. His question became jumbled in Kie and Pope's dad's own protests, while they followed the officer outside. It was obvious what was going on, JJ knew exactly why Pope was being arrested. Money and power, two things they didn't have, but the Thorntons did.
There was a scared look on Pope's face as he was led to the backseat of a police car; it was uncharted territory which he'd never thought he'd ever venture to. He was going to lose everything. He could kiss his scholarship goodbye and any chance of him getting into college along with it. He wondered if he'd have to serve jail time and what the punishment would be. The color of his skin made him think that his fate may depend on whatever judge sat in front of him. He was going to be sick.
JJ watched everything play out in slow motion.
All thoughts of everyone telling him what a deadbeat he was destined to be ran through his mind. Pope's dad thought it, Charlie knew it, and Collins probably did, too. His dad is a deadbeat, why should JJ be any different? Why fight what clearly was expected of him?
"It wasn't him!" JJ suddenly exclaimed, and everything seemed to come to a halt. All heads turned to look at him. Everyone was stunned. "He tried to talk me out of it, but I was mad because he'd just been beaten up. I was so sick of those assholes from Figure 8 that I lost my shit."
"JJ, what are you doing?" Pope asked him with a pained look on his face. He didn't understand why JJ would do this to himself. They both knew that he was the one in search of revenge, he was the one who dove into the water and pulled the plug which sank Topper's beloved boat.
"I can't let you take the blame for something I did. You've got too much to lose." JJ told him, his expression stoic. "I'm telling the truth. For once in my goddamn life, I'm telling the truth."
"JJ, come on." Pope protested, but he wasn't able to get another word in because JJ quickly snapped at him.
"Shut up, Pope!" He looked him in the eyes and even though his expression was hard, JJ's eyes maintained their softness. Just let me do this for you, man. Directed towards Shoupe, JJ continued, "He's a good kid. You know where I'm from."
Deputy Shoupe gave him a small nod, almost with sympathy. He knew pretty well what kind of family JJ came from. He turned to Pope and raised his brows. "That's the whole truth?"
"The whole truth, swear to God." JJ answered.
"I know what you think, damn it, I'm asking Pope." Shoupe barked.
It was still and silent as they all waited for Pope's response. Charlie watched the silent exchange that occurred between the two friends, and he knew; JJ wasn't speaking, but he was begging Pope to just follow along with it. JJ was pushing Pope to stop fighting and let him do something good.
"That about covers it." Pope finally said, and JJ's mouth turned up at the corner just the slightest bit.
He knew he shouldn't have been happy, especially when Shoupe was slapping on the handcuffs that had previously been closed around Pope's wrists and were now attached to his, but JJ was just glad that Pope wasn't going to lose everything he'd been working so hard for. Pope had a bright future ahead of him, JJ's was bleak. JJ Maybank: Kildare County crook, smart mouth, and a nobody.
Even though the tint on the window was too dark for them to see him, JJ could still see everyone outside. They were watching, dumbfounded, because they couldn't believe what had just happened. JJ's gaze lingered on Charlie for a little while longer, because after their recent conversation, he knew this was exactly the kind of thing that Charlie was trying to keep Collins away from. He wasn't wrong to want that, JJ couldn't argue with him.
But he'd done it for his friend. Not just the taking the blame part, but the part when he'd helped Pope get his revenge on Topper, and the part when he'd fought alongside him and taken on 2 guys that nearly punched him until he felt like his guts were about to spill out onto the movie screen.
JJ knew he was never destined for greatness, that's why he didn't mind sacrificing himself to ensure the safety of the people he knew had more to offer to the world. He could go to jail for Pope because he was pretty sure that this wasn't going to be his last time behind bars in his lifetime. And as for Collins, this was what was best for her, too. He had to stay away if he wanted her to succeed in life; him being a part of it was just going to screw hers up. But it wasn't what he wanted, fuck, now that she was a part of his life JJ didn't want her to ever leave.
At least, since he was going to the police station anyways, he could kill two birds with one stone. He could take the fall for his friend and he could keep himself away from Collins, because deep down, he knew the only way he was going to be able to keep his distance was if he was in a room with four cement walls and a locked door keeping him away.
•••
ps: we are not talking LOT harry styles in this book but frat boy harry circa 2013 in case y'all were trying to imagine mister treat people with kindness in those intimidation scenes
also ! im so sorry if y'all have your notifs on and see updates for this book once in a while that don't exist. im so bad about accidentally publishing parts and so a lot of times ill accidentally post a pre written chapter without intending to so if you see that there's been an update but it doesn't make sense chapter wise or it doesn't pull up, the reason most likely is bc it was an accident
hope this chapter was okay and that you guys enjoyed it !