CHAPTER FOUR
Your point of view.
“Tianna!”
“Come on!”
“Don’t be such a wuss!”
“I’m not a wuss if I’m a logical person,” I reply calmly to the rude shouts and screams.
“Then why won’t you come, then?”
“Because I am smart enough to know that bad things won’t make life better,” I state.
“One cigarette?”
“One joint?”
“One swig?”
“No. I don’t need to sink to your level,” I reply.
“How about one night?”
The low, even, confident male voice behind me makes me freeze.
“What do you want from me?” I snarl, whipping around.
Nothing.
“I want your innocence. It’s not doing you any good. You can give it to me and I’ll give you something better,” he says.
“Nothing can be better than innocence. At least, nothing you can offer me,” I growl.
“How about something I take away from you?” His haunting voice echoes around me as I turn in circles to try to find the source. The only thing I see outside of my circle of light is a thick, inky black.
“What would you be so tempted to take away from me?” I ask tentatively.
“Your loved ones. Your family. Your friends.”
“No.”
“Why not? It’s a simple decision. Option one versus option two. Innocence versus everybody you care about. Simple, is it not?” he taunts from somewhere in the dark wall around me.
“David, no. There is another option,” I state mildly.
“And that would be?” he asks with mock patience in his smooth-like-silk voice.
“Neither. It would be me receiving something from you,” I propose.
“Not an option.”
“It is now,” I say firmly, trying to keep the razor away from the edges of my words.
“No, actually-” Another spotlight buzzes on just a meter from the edge of mine. David stands in the middle of it with Louis, Tommy and Charlie. “It is not an option unless you choose to keep your innocence, but nothing else.”
Louis has Thomas and Charles in his arms, holding them against his chest. “I love you,” he tells me.
“I love you, too,” I step closer to hug him, but he drops to his knees, slowly setting the twin babies down on the floor. They look about seven or eight months old. Louis’ face twists in agony as he grits his teeth and a long, slow, low moan escapes them. I watch him crawl away from the babies and collapse on the floor. He curls into a fetal position and starts to sob.
I step away from him, backwards. I can’t watch this. I don’t even know what’s wrong. I can’t help him. I can’t do anything.
Suddenly, Louis relaxes. His head lowered to the cold, hard concrete below him as he lies flopped down on his side. His eyes blink often as his breathing is heavy. I look at him from my distance and can tell he isn’t in as much pain as before, if any.
“Are you okay?” I ask from where I am.
He nods, closing his eyes as David steps into the darkness behind him. He seems to melt into it and disappear. I whip my head around me to try to locate him. As I squint my eyes to try to look to the other side of Louis’ circle, a hand clamps down on my shoulder, preventing me from jumping out of my skin as I am sure I would’ve.
“Come on, Tianna,” another light turns on to reveal a bed. A silk-looking canopy draped around it’s comforter from the four, high, carved, wooden poles. “Just a little fun in luxury?”
“No. I’m engaged. I don’t need your silly games. I need love. Not a fuck-buddy,” I tell him evenly, despite the tears I feel running down my cheeks.
“I don’t want you to be just a fuck-buddy, though. I want you to be mine. You could marry me instead. You don’t want that worthless douche bag,” David spits, shooting Louis a nasty glare.
“I don’t love you. Not one bit!” I snarl in his face.
David’s face scrunches up in disgust. “You-” His fist flies out instead of the rest of the sentence. I cringe, waiting for impact, but it doesn’t come. I slowly open my eyes to see his tan knuckles just centimeters from my nose.
“Bitch.” He finishes, shoving me down. I fall onto my back, pain exploding from my spine and running throughout my body. David leans over me, his hips in between my thighs. “Just a little bit of sex can’t hurt you. It sure doesn’t hurt me.”
“For one, it does hurt. For another, did you just call me a bitch?” I ask with attitude.
“Of course I did, seeing as you are my bitch,” David smirks before leaning down and kissing my neck. I flinch away. He moves closer, persistently sucking on my skin and kissing me.
“Stop.”
David lifts his head. “What the hell do you want?” David growls to Louis.
Louis lifts a finger and points to me. “My wife.”
David looks from me to Louis. “No. I do not share very well,” he smirks up at my fiancé.
“Too bad you’ll have to share a cell in prison,” Louis pulls a foot back and kicks David in the chest. David rolls away from me, clutching his ribs. He groans as Louis stalks over to him. “You’ve messed with the wrong guy’s girl,” he snarls down at the rapist on the floor. With a quick glance at me, he jumps onto David’s chest; both feet and all his weight.
David splutters and coughs up blood. He starts to crawl away after Louis steps off of him, but my man just kicks him in the stomach. I can’t watch this anymore.
I crawl away, towards my babies. I hear fighting noises the entire time I bruise my knees on the concrete. I just need to know my babies are okay. They are my everything and I love them so much. I pick up Charlie and Tommy in my arms. They are both sleeping. I don't notice that the background noises have ceased until David is standing over me.
'Those children are unworthy. They are not mine, therefore they shall not live,” David growls down at me. He snatches my baby Charlie from me before I can react. He holds my baby out far away from his body. As David crinkles his nose, he moves his hands swiftly, and a loud snap echoes into the blackness then back to my ears.
I dissolve into tears as I realize what it was. I cling onto Tommy, scared that he might suffer the same fate. He can’t snap both my babies’ necks, right? That is just wrong. David does have a heart, right? Somewhere? On vacation? I remember Louis.
I look around until I see a crumpled body on the floor of a spot-lit area. Louis. He isn’t moving, and I fear the worst. “Louis!” I call.
David kicks me. “Shut up, you stupid girl! I killed him,” he growls.
“No. No. No. You couldn’t have. That isn’t right. He- He’s Superman. Superman can’t be killed,” I whisper frantically. I feel Tommy pull my hair and it brings me back to a sane enough state. I hold him closer to me as David struts towards my fiancé.
The cruel man grabs Louis’ hair and drags his body to me. I see the blood seeping from his chest as he nears. When he lies just before me, I see it is a bullet wound. I lean over my husband’s body and sob. I can’t wipe away my tears because I refuse to set Tommy down, or even loosen my grip on him, for fear of him suffering a similar fate.
I feel pain explode in the side of my head and I topple over sideways, dropping Tommy. I try to get out of my sprawled position to get to my crying baby, but a foot on my chest stops me. David’s Nikes are placed over my ribs as he cradles Tommy gently in his arms. “Please don’t hurt him. You can’t. Please,” I beg for mercy.
“Sorry, Tianna. Wait-no. I’m not sorry, Tianna. I very easily can hurt him,” David produces a gruesomely disturbing grin. I watch him and plead with my eyes as he lifts my baby above his head as if he were admiring Tommy in the light. He holds Tommy in that position for a moment before throwing him at the floor head first. Tommy hits the floor beside my head and I feel his warm blood splatter on my face.
David smiles triumphantly as if he just scored a touchdown. He brings me to my feet and leads me silently into the darkness. I can’t protest because I don’t have it in me anymore. I let him pull me further into the dark, suffocating black. Just when I thought I was going to have to try to start to fight, a spotlight comes on overhead. Standing there in front of us is my baby sister.
“Laurena,” I whisper in recognition, taking in her frightened-no, terrified features.
“I’m scared, Tianna,” her voice wavers a lot, so I can tell she is on the verge of tears.
“I know, sweetie. Everything will be alright. I promise,” I tell her, knowing I can’t keep it.
“No it won’t. At least, not to you,” David says, taking my hand in his. I try to fight it, for Laurena, but fail. I feel something cold, hard and metal being pressed into my palm. “Shoot her,” David whispers close to my ear. I shake my head with what I am sure is a horrified expression on my face. “Do it.”
“I-I can’t. Can’t you just take my innocence?” I try weakly.
David laughs. “As if. Your time to change your mind came and went a long time ago, babe.”
“I still can’t do this,” I tell him honestly.
“Why not? It’s easy,” David ensures me, like it’s supposed to help. He takes my hands and shapes them around the gun and points it at my sister. “Now pull the trigger. It’s that simple.” He steps back so that he can watch it all unfold.
I whimper as I use one hand to steady the gun in front of me; right at the frightened little girl’s face. I grit my teeth and put on my tough face as I prepare to pull the trigger. I glance once over at David then focus my eyes on Laurena’s watering ones. “I love you,” I tell her then I quickly put the barrel to my own temple and pull the trigger.
I jolt awake. My heart is racing, I feel clammy, I’m out of breath and I have tears on my face. I must be a mess. Louis is already sitting up beside me in bed with a worried expression on his face.
“Are you okay? Was that one of the dreams? You were tossing and turning and moaning and crying and you scared me,” he rambles.
“I’m sorry. Yeah. It was one of the better ones,” I admit.
“That? That was one of the better ones? They must be worse than I thought,” Louis gives me a wide eyed look of concern.
“No. I’m fine. They-uh- Oh, who am I kidding? They’re horrible. I hate them, but I don’t know how to make them stop. The one that I just had, was one of the better ones, though,” I look up at Louis.
He looks away from me for a second before standing up. “I have to make a call,” he tells me softly. He seems nervous as he goes into the hall. He wasn’t even wearing a shirt.
I vaguely hope that he won’t get in trouble before reaching for my iPhone. It is dark outside, but that doesn’t tell me what time it is. It is 3:57. Who or what is important enough to call somebody at four in the morning? He will no doubt be waking them up. I’ll ask him about it when he gets back. In the meantime I’ll just play Subway Surfers to keep my mind off the stupid dream. When my score was up to the 375 000 range, Louis walks back in.
“Well, that didn’t take you long,” I say without looking up.
“No. I didn’t need to talk to her long,” Louis shrugs and climbs into bed beside me.
I slam into a train in the video game and turn it off in my petty frustration. I look up at Louis. “So who is ‘her’?” I ask. I wasn’t jealous, just wondering what friend or family member it was.
“Your mum,” Louis says, taking my phone and putting it back on the table. I try to meet his eyes, but he refuses and looks to his lap.
“Why were you calling my Mum?” I ask in an even tone.
“Okay. Look. I’m sorry. And I want to let you know beforehand that I love you and so do your parents and so do the lads. Well, your parents and I talked and your Mum said that if your dreams are that bad then maybe you should go see somebody,” Louis pauses to finally meet my eyes.
“You guys think that I should go see a shrink?” I repeat what he had said in an understandable language.
“Yeah. It might help. You said it yourself that you hate the dreams but don’t know how to stop them,” Louis reasons with a hesitant expression.
“Yeah. They might help somebody else. You think that I’ll just go and spill my deepest, most intimate feelings to some stranger that I am sure I won’t trust? I have issues spitting out half of the stuff I tell you when we’re alone,” I tell him. I know my voice wavers, but I can’t help it. I feel like crying. Is Louis really that stupid? How could he think that I could go to some freaking stranger? I am already stressed about it.
“But this person would be a professional. They could help more than I ever could. I just want you to get better. I don’t want you upset. I’m sorry. I should’ve asked you before making it final. Your Mum just said to keep quiet,” Louis sounds ashamed.
“You don’t always have to listen to Mum. She wants what’s best for me even if I know it isn’t good for me. You should’ve known I wouldn’t want to see a shrink,” I say, rubbing my eyes roughly. I don’t want to cry right now. It is so the wrong time.
“I’m sorry,” Louis says softly.
“Well, y’know what?” I pause until he lifts his head and looks at me. I make sure our gazes are locked before going on.
“You should be. And I’m done. Go. Just go. Go home and take care of Tommy. I don’t care. Just leave me be for a couple hours. Okay? Got it? I love you and all, but I need to cool off,” I look at Louis. His face shows how much I just dissed him. He takes a deep breath before getting up. It looks like he is about to cry.
“Look, Louis. I really do love you, but my nerves were worn thin enough. I just can’t take it that my own loved ones think I am really that unstable. Go. When you come back I’ll tell you all of the shit that happens in my fucking dreams. Go home and get some good sleep. Don’t worry about me. If anyone tries to fuck with me while I am this pissed you can wish them luck for me. We both know I’d be foaming too much at the mouth to say anything comprehensible,” I give him an even stare.
“True enough. I know you’d put up enough of a fight. But I am really sorry. I just-I wasn’t thinking,” he looks at me pleadingly.
I scowl at his nerve. “Git before you start blubbering,” I say, wiping away the scowl quickly.
“Okay, Tianna. I love you,” Louis says softly, opening the door slowly.
“Yeah. Love you too. Be careful,” I add in an accidental warmer tone. Louis gives me a small smile before leaving. I watch the door close before flopping down on my pillow.
I close my eyes and try to clear my mind so I can sleep. I just end up lying in the dark with my thoughts swirling around all of the negative stuff in my life right now and what has led up to this point. Even by the time the sun comes up and I had sobbed all that I wanted to and then some, I stubbornly pull the blanket over my head to block out the light. I know I end up muttering to myself and crying some more, but I don't come out from under the blanket.
Eventually, a knock on the door snaps me out of my trance. I take a deep breath and close my heavy eyes to pretend to sleep. I didn't sleep at all, even when I felt exhausted and my mind cleared, I was scared of another one of my harsh dreams coming. That was how I got to staring blankly at the white blanket with the sun light glowing through.
The door opens and I am happy for my already tired, relaxed low breathing. I keep my eyes closed as the footsteps come to the side of the bed I was sleeping on. The blanket is lifted from my face and I am sure that my face would still be marked with dried tear tracks. He clears his throat and I can tell it's Louis.
Darn. He can see through almost anything I pull.
“Hey, Tianna. I am really sorry. I talked to your Mum but she’s already got it all sorted out. She called the place and they say that you have got to go to at least three sessions. Sorry. And did you get any sleep at all since I left? You look exhausted. If it’s because of the dreams, then maybe the therapist can help,” Louis tells me.
I open my eyes for the first time since he got there. It looked like he had slept a bit. Good. It probably wasn’t even on purpose, though. He probably drifted off while thinking about me and my issues. All my many issues I have seemed to attract and gather.
"I knew you would know. Do I have to go to the sessions?" I ask sulkily.
"Yeah. But there is nothing forcing you to like it," Louis sits beside me as I sit up.
I feel lightheaded and lean my head on his comforting shoulder. "Fine," I say, my state leaking out through my voice.
"So are you still mad at me?" he asks softly.
"Nah. I never really was. I was just frustrated with the shrink I've got to go to," I correct him, closing my eyes.
"Okay. I didn't want you to be mad at me. I felt really bad about it all. It's just that your mum-" he begins.
I turn and hug him tight, cutting him off. "Sh. I don't care what my overprotective mother told you. Just stay with me now. I want to sleep, but I don't want to wake up alone after getting scared half to death by a dream," I explain with my tired voice and ready-to-sleep eyes.
"Okay. I'll have to leave to grab a snack after you fall asleep, but I promise I'll be quick," Louis kisses my forehead, leaving his lips for an extra couple seconds before pulling away. I feel his lips on mine for just a bit longer. Then I lie down.
"Go to sleep, Tianna. You need it," he tells me.
"Mhm," I hum. I snuggle under the now comfortable blanket as he tucks me in. I feel safer now that Louis is here.
Louis' point of view.
I hear Tianna's breathing shallow out for real. Now I slip out quietly. I go down to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. I left so fast this morning that I didn't really care. I just wanted to go back to Tianna. When I got home earlier, I passed out after checking on Tommy. I woke up at ten to seven and basically left after going pee. I felt bad, but I was sure Tianna would've felt worse. I just wanted to help her any way that I could.
I grab an egg salad sandwich and go back to Tianna's room. Her Mum and Dad were outside the door talking softly. It looked like they were arguing. Tara was getting worked up about something while Shane explained something calmly. I know I shouldn't interrupt, but I do. "What's the topic?" I ask, holding the wrapped sandwich at my side.
"You said you think it might help, but she freaked when you told her. Why did you tell her? You could've told her the day of or something!" Tara yells at me in a whisper.
"I can't do that. She's not brain dead even if she’s got some flaws," I say flatly.
"Well, you could've done something," Tara says curtly.
"Not really. She'd get it out of me one way or another. Tianna knows me too well for me to keep something like that away from her," I tell her.
"How could she get you to do that if you don't want to? I thought you had self-control," Shane says with false confusion as a small smirk is visible on his lips.
"Okay. One, we are engaged and we don't keep much away from each other. Two, she is very manipulative," I lower my gaze as my face heats. She might as well have a little me voodoo doll.
"It's okay. The wife is almost always in charge in this family," Shane claps me on the back.
I chuckle softly. "Well, I told her that she's got to do the three sessions then she can stop. She was still pretty tired when I told her though. So yeah," I look to the closed door behind Tara's shoulder for a second before looking back at her. She is examining me. I am uncomfortable under her gaze, but I try not to look it.
"You've changed. Did you leave?" She looks back up to my face from my clothes.
"Yeah. Right after I called you is when I told her and she got pissed. She ordered me out of her sight," I look to my feet, ashamed and guilty.
"She should get over it," Tara says confidently.
"I know she will. That was just the first time she-" I sigh.
"She what?" Shane asks.
"It's just that she was really cold. She ordered me out and her tone- She'd never talked to me like that before," I frown. Maybe the stuff really is getting to her, like, deep down.
"I'm sure it doesn't mean anything," Shane puts a comforting hand on my shoulder.
I nod to him and clear my throat. "You guys should just go back to the flat or something. Go out to lunch even. Get some you time. Tianna is sleeping and I think I'm going to go join her. I'm beat. All this stress is getting to me," I offer a tired smile.
"Don't worry too much or else she'll start to get worried about you," Tara advises.
"Too late for that. She's too protective for her own good. Anyway, go treat yourselves or something. We'll just be lazing around here for a bit," I tell them.
"Okay. Bye Louis," Tara hugs me. Shane and I exchange smiles. I push open the door and shut it behind me.
I sit in the chair and eat my sandwich while checking my texts. It’s all just stuff from the lads asking about Tianna. I send one to Liam saying, "Shut up. We need sleep. Pass it on." That was all I bothered with before setting it down beside Tianna's. I slide into bed beside her while wrapping my arms around her small body. I nuzzle close to her and kiss her ear.
"I love you, Tianna. Don't you ever forget that," I whisper into her neck. I settle into the uncomfortable bed and fall asleep close to the girl I love.
I hear somebody sobbing softly. Tianna. I sit up and look around. The bed is empty except for me and the rumpled sheets. The bathroom door is closed and that is exactly where the crying is coming from. I fold the covers off of me and onto the empty half of the bed before getting up. I knock softly on the bathroom door. “Hey, Tianna. Are you okay?” I ask, rubbing sleep out of my eyes. I clear my throat to get rid of the thick accent that fills it.
She opens the door and flings herself into my arms. “Louis. Louis. The-” a sob interrupts her thought as I lift her up bridal style.
I carry her to the bed and keep her on my lap. “Sh. It’s okay. Everybody is fine,” I smooth her hair as I whisper this.
“Louis. Everybody is fine but me. I might as well go apply for a mental hospital myself,” she murmurs.
“Hey. Don’t say that,” I tell her, pulling away to look into her misty eyes.
“Why not?” Tianna sniffs.
“Because it’s not funny,” I say seriously and hug her again. Her breathing slowly becomes normal as I hold her close to me.
“Okay. So I’ll start with my dream from earlier?” she asks in the silence.
“If you want,” I tell her.
Tianna nods and slides off my lap onto the bed beside me. She lets her feet dangle off the side as she holds my hand. “Well, in that dream. Okay. The just of it is that David wanted to have sex with me. Then you came to save me, but you had the twins. You and David get into a fight and he kills you. After that he comes over to me and the twins and snaps Charlie’s neck. Then he threw Tommy at the floor and cracked his head. He made me watch him kill the babies Louis. It was horrible. Then he tried to make me shoot Laurena,” her expression and voice is strained as she tries not to cry any more.
“Did you?” I ask, curiosity taking over.
Tianna meets my eyes. “No. I shot myself. That’s how the dream ended,” she breathes out the words.
I hug her. “It’s okay. It was just a dream.” I hug her closer to me, not really wanting to let go.
“It felt so real,” she murmurs.
“I’m sure it did. It always does,” I agree, knowing exactly what she means. I’ve had nightmares, too, but never that graphic.
“The one from earlier really was one of the better ones. The one that I just had was one of the really bad ones,” Tianna tells me.
“Tell me,” I beg in a whisper. I want to know, even though I am sure I really don’t.
“You and Tommy and I were in the park. Tommy was old enough to play on his own while we watched. You were singing to me but then we got wrapped up in it and the next time we looked, Tommy was gone. He was in the road. We see him get hit by a taxi and then I start to cry. You went to go get him, but stop a few steps ahead of me. That’s when David walks up to us and hands you Tommy’s body. You start to cry and David takes me away. He covers my mouth to keep me from alerting anyone while he rapes me. We bury Tommy then he is back in his bed the next morning. We got spooked and David was behind it all.
“He comes while you go to interviews and stuff and has sex with me. Then one time you walk in on him doing it and you guys get into a fight. You basically kill him then when we start to celebrate, he shoots me dead. Then you are crying and alone. We had our own house and you were miserable. Then I woke up,” Tianna looks at her hands and twists her engagement ring around her finger.
“How do you come up with that stuff? It’s horrible,” I tell her.
“I know. The theme is depression and death,” she mutters.
“But why would that one be worse? Wouldn’t the other one be worse because he killed the twins?” I ask, confused.
“No. This one was probably worse because you were upset. That really gets to me,” she looks down at her hands again. Tianna leaves the ring as it was and just folds her hands in her lap.
“Don’t think too much of it. It was just a dream. You should be fine. We’ll all be okay,” I assure her.
She closes her eyes. “I know,” she whispers softly.
I just look at my soon to be wife. She looks so fragile. I take in her thin, scarred arms. She needs to gain a few pounds. Not too much, but some. Her expression and body language seems to tell me that she is ashamed and tired. I don’t know why she’d be ashamed. She should have no shame in the crap that has happened to her. She should be proud that she can get through it.
I climb up onto the bed and crawl behind her. I just want to lift her spirits. I slide my hands around her waist and nuzzle her neck. I kiss her softly. “Come on, Tianna. Cheer up,” I whisper with my eyes closed. I kiss her neck.
“No, Louis,” she says softly. It kind of stings how she wants to push me away.
“You are alive. You are getting better. And you certainly haven’t lost your looks,” I list. I’m not stopping. Not yet.
“Louis. It’s not nice to lie,” Tianna murmurs.
“Practice what you preach,” I tell her before adding more kisses up her neck to her ear.
“Louis, stop,” she whispers in a weak protest.
I wipe away my smirk to add more little smooches down her jawline. I twist around her to kiss her on her mouth. She purses her lips and pushes me away. I try to hide the hurt. “Why not?” I whimper. Traitor voice.
“We’re in a hospital,” Tianna looks at the floor.
“So? If that’s your only reason, it’s a very weak one,” I smile as I sit on her lap with her waist between my legs.
“Louis. Just stop. I know what you’re trying to do and it is not going to help. Not right now, at least,” she says in a flat tone.
I kiss the corner of her mouth tauntingly, lingering longer than necessary. I have to admit, I was probably enjoying this more than she is, unless she has become a really great actor. I put my hands on her hips in my last attempt to lure her in. I put my lips squarely on hers. I move my lips to get her to cooperate, but she doesn’t.
Tianna puts her hands on my chest and pushes me away. “No. I told you it wasn’t going to work.”
I sigh and stand in front of her. “Okay, Tianna. It didn’t work,” I am sure I frowned. I check the time. “Sorry, Tianna. I promised the lads that I’d be back to take care of Tommy by noon. It’s twelve thirty,” I say and shove my phone in my pocket.
“Go then. You should be giving Tommy more attention than me,” Tianna says in a lighter, scolding tone.
“Okay. Bye, Tianna. I love you,” I say. I lean down and kiss her again to top off my good bye. Tianna kisses me back briefly, so I extend the kiss.
She pushes me away quickly. “The baby,” she reminds me.
“Yeah. Bye,” I give her a smile before walking out the door and shutting it behind me.
I never realized I actually missed Tianna in a sexual way.
Your point of view.
I chuckle and shake my head. That horny bastard.
I grab my phone and see that my battery is starting to die. Maybe I should’ve brought the charger. I’m such a dumb-arse. I go load Subway Surfers to play again. Addiction alert! I love that game too much. My phone starts to ring, interrupting the loading process. I recognize Louis’ number.
“What do you want? You just left. You are aware that we can’t kiss over the phone, right?” I joke.
“Yeah, Tianna. I know. I’m just pulling out of the hospital parking lot now. Anyway, I thought you might be lonely,” I hear the seriousness in his tone.
“You’ve got to calm down,” I state.
“Yeah?” Louis chuckles.
“Yeah,” I smile.
“Okay,” I hear his deep breathing. “How about now? I think I’m calm. Anyways, I figured I’d ask if you wanted me to send somebody back to the hospital so that you aren’t alone? You choose.”
“M’kay. How about you send my phone charger with the leprechaun? I haven’t teased him enough in the past bit,” I smirk.
“You weren’t conscious in the past bit,” Louis says in a sad voice.
“Shut up! Really? Damn! I must've missed that detail! I meant when I was awake. I've just been pretty messed up. Oh and when is this shrink shit going down?” I remember it again.
“I can ask for you if you want.” Louis offers.
“That’d be nice. I’d like to know when I am going to have rope burn on my wrists and ankles,” I say in an even tone.
“Ha-ha. Very funny. I am not amused with this new sense of humour you have seemed to develop,” Louis says seriously.
“Whatever, mother,” I say into the phone.
“That is so wrong on so many levels,” Louis laughs.
“Well, if I cut out, my battery is dead. Just sayin’. But I agree that it is very wrong. We are just role playing. Gosh,” I say exasperatedly.
“Calm down, beautiful,” Louis laughs. I like the sound of it.
“You want to make a deal?” I ask.
“What’s that?’ he asks expectantly.
“A deal is when two people kind of agree on something and yeah. I can’t explain what a deal is,” I laugh a bit.
“Very funny, Tianna. You are just a regular comedian,” Louis says.
“I know I am. Anyway, the deal I was willing to propose is that when I am done all of stupid, forced therapy treatments, you’d take me someplace. I don’t care where, but I’d rather it not be fancy. Fancy means I have to be sophisticated,” I explain.
“What is so bad with being sophisticated every now and then?” my man asks.
“It means you have to be mature,” I say flatly.
“That is horrible!” Louis agrees dramatically.
“Exactly. Now how much longer before Nialler gets here? I’m feeling lonely and my battery is going to die at any second!” I whine.
“Okay, Tianna. Just don’t do anything with Niall,” Louis says slowly with choppy hesitations.
“Did you- Are you seriously saying that? Legit?” I ask with a smirk, feeling a little hurt.
“Sorry,” Louis apologizes awkwardly.
“What would I do with Niall? Play cards? When he told me about how you cheated on me, he was so nice and let me cry on his shoulder forever. I was just confused and hurt and even less emotionally stable than I am right now,” I explain, trying not to sound angry or anything.
“Okay. I know I didn’t need to bring it up. I trust you. I don’t know what I was thinking,” he sounds sincere as I hear his car door slam behind him.
“Whatever. Just promise me that we can do something after I do those mandatory days,” I smile as I lie down.
“I promise.” Then I hear in a muffled voice, so I assume he pulled the phone away from his mouth, “Niall. Can you grab Tianna’s phone charger then go keep her company at the hospital?”
“Niall is on his way,” Louis informs me.
“Okay, thanks,” I mumble.
“What’s wrong?” Louis is suspicious.
“Nothing. I was just thinking,” I shrug even though I am well aware that he can’t see it.
“What about?”
“Nothing. Just life and my dreams and such,” I sigh. I don’t get an answer, so I pull the phone away and look at it. Dead. I toss it on the bedside table and throw the covers off of me and get up.
I lock the bathroom door behind me before doing my business. I wash my hands and glance in the mirror. Yuck. I hate how I look right now. Stupid hoodie couldn’t find a comfortable position not on the floor. I don’t bother fixing it and instead take a good look at myself.
Now I want to leave, but I can’t. I am forcing myself to look at my reflection. How am I torturing myself like this? I look disgusting with my pale skin that makes the scars more prominent. It just reminds me of it all. Why did he have to make me so ugly?
I know why. He planned this. He wants to make sure I remember him, even when he gets sentenced to death. He wants me to be constantly reminded that I am his sex toy. David just wants me to feel bad about myself. That douche. He deserves to die. I don’t want him touching another girl out there. He might not even want to, but there is still a chance that he may need to get his fix without me.
“Hey, Tianna?” Niall knocks on the bathroom door as he asks for me. “Are you in there?”
“Yeah,” I open the door and leave my thoughts locked behind the closed door of the bathroom.
“You okay?” he asks, giving me a serious look.
I nod once. “Okay as I possibly can be right now.”
“Want a hug?” Niall pouts as he opens his arms wide. I accept the hug and make it last as I close my eyes. I can tell Niall feels awkward as he rubs my back lightly. I pull away and sit on the edge of the bed with my elbows on my knees.
“Okay, seriously, what’s wrong? Spill it,” Niall walks over to me and crosses his arms.
I bury my face on my palms. “I’m just stressed.”
“What about? Come on. You can tell me,” Niall sits beside me on the bed and tries to meet my eyes.
“Ah… Just life in general. I get out of a coma after being raped and almost killed and people expect me to just be all fine and dandy. They want me to go see a shrink. I got it cut down to just three visits,” I tell him. Actually, I told the floor.
“They are Louis and your parents?” Niall asks, sounding like he knew, but just wanted conformation.
“Yeah. I know they care and all, but I thought they knew me better than that,” I whisper, wanting to cry again.
“Your parent s and Louis love you very much. So do I. I would force you to a therapist kicking and screaming if I had to, if I knew you would be happy after wards. I’d let you hate me if you weren’t haunted by dreams or something,” Niall admits quietly.
“Thank you,” I whisper to him. A yawn stretches my mouth open suddenly.
“Are you tired? I thought you and Louis slept this morning when he got back,” Niall sounded confused.
“We did. But I never get much sleep at a time anymore. Those damn dreams keep me up. It sucks,” I snarl.
“I bet it would. How bad are they?” Niall asks in a curious, thoughtful way.
I lie back onto the bed with my hands behind my head as I smile up at him. “You don’t want to know. Will you stay with me to protect me from the boogeyman if I wake up, though?” I ask.
“Whatever you want,” Niall gives me a sympathetic smile.
“Thanks, leprechaun,” I whisper as I roll over and pull the blankets over me.
“No problem. But please don’t call me that,” he chuckles.
“Good night, leprechaun,” I mumble.
“Night, Tianna,” I can hear the smile in his tone.
I take one last deep breath before settling down to get attacked by my own mind again.