CHAPTER THREE
Your point of view.
I blink open my eyes in the white room again. I was so tired from Christmas. Today would be Boxing Day back home. I look around.
Alone.
I sigh and sit up. My wheelchair is exactly where Louis left it last night. I transfer myself to it and push myself to the bathroom. I am so stiff and sore. I moved around too much yesterday and strained a bunch muscles that weren't used in over a month. I was and am a bit rusty. Maybe if I start moving around more regularly I'll get a bit better.
I do my business and get back to my hospital bed. Since I am not wearing my sweater, I see that some of the less healed cuts have opened up again with all of the effort of pushing the wheelchair. I see there is already blood on my sheets from sleeping in them, so I press my arms to them.
I honestly don't care right now. The only reason I'm not just watching the liquid keeping me alive seep away is because Louis wouldn't want me to. He wants me to stay alive and care about myself. So I will. I had made him put up his sweater on the mirror in the bathroom because I don't want to see myself. I know it will help me feel more confident if I don't see how ugly I am.
I try to get comfortable in the stiff bed. It's harder than it looks. I am really hungry despite the giant dinner I had last night. I feel my stomach growl and cringe at the cramp it brings. I sigh. They should really just feed me real food in this stupid hospital. It's not fair how most of the food they bring isn't even vegetarian. I had told them to bring me vegetarian food, but they don't even follow that simple request all the time. When they do, it is disgusting.
I reach over to my bed side table for the new iPhone Louis gave me. I have entertainment, at least. I play tic-tac-toe with the computer. Surprisingly, I won the first round. I hear a knock at the door and a voice. "Hey, Tianna. Are you awake?"
"Just a sec, Zayn," I say and pull my hat on over the bandages. I want to look at least slightly decent. "Kay," I answer as I put my iPhone into sleep mode.
He opens the door with a smile and shuts it quietly behind him. "You didn't have to get all dolled up to impress me," he gestures to my Spongebob hat. I blush as he sits in the chair beside me.
"Sorry." Force of habit.
"Don't apologize. Anyways, I brought you breakfast," he sets the container on my lap. I click the lid off to see pancakes with some syrup in a small container in the corner. A fork is lying beside the pile of still-warm, golden pancakes.
"Thanks. They look really good. Who made them?" I pour the sticky syrup over the thick, perfect pancakes.
"I did," he looks sheepish as I take a bite.
"Really?" I ask him with my mouth full.
"Yeah. Are they that bad?" He asks, glancing to them on my lap.
"No. They're that good," I smile with my lips together.
"Thanks," he flashes that supermodel smile.
"No. Thank you. I thought I was going to starve in this joint," I give him another smile.
His eyes wander over me and find the blood on the blankets. "You're bleeding," he looks at me concernedly.
"Tell me something I don't know," I say with my mouth half full.
"You're supposed to care about yourself. It doesn't really sound like you do," he scolds, the concern never leaving his face.
I blush. "I do. I can only focus on one thing at a time. Right now I'll focus on my stomach. Before, I focused on my bladder. Next, maybe I'll focus on my cuts," I reason.
Zayn sighs. "I'm not stupid, Tianna. I know you can multitask. You should see yourself when you were in Mother-mode. You could make bottles, do laundry, and take care of yourself and your baby, all while holding him. You acted more like superwoman then," he finishes quietly.
I swallow my mouthful. I've heard Louis call me that, but I don't think I’ve heard Zayn say it. I look at him, blinking away my hopefully unnoticeable tears. "That's probably because I was superwoman. Getting freaking stabbed is my kryptonite," I say with more anger than I had anticipated.
Zayn places a hand on my knee. "There's no such thing as a kryptonite for you. You can do anything you want. You've pulled through before, and you can now," he tells me softly.
I look into his sparkling eyes and nod. “Maybe. If I feel like it,” I shrug and finish the pancakes. Zayn sighs, but doesn’t comment as I hand him the empty, closed container. I lean back into the bed and smile to him. He doesn’t return it as he places the container on the bed side table.
“What’s wrong?” my smile falters. Zayn looks me over before shaking his head.
“You just don’t realize how much, how much people would miss you if you were gone,” he runs a finger across the tip of his nose awkwardly.
I shrug and make sure he can’t meet my gaze, even if he tried. He takes my hand in his. He squeezes my hand with the engagement ring on it.
“Louis loves you so much. You should’ve seen how stressed he got. He just wanted you to live. He even told a few people off for saying your name rudely while you were unconscious. You don’t know how much the mood has changed since you woke up. Everybody is so happy. Including me. Louis was the one who had the most hope in you pulling through. He insisted upon us acting normal around Tommy, too. He didn’t want the baby to feed off of our negative-ness. And I think we are all already sick of how he goes on about how you two are getting married,” Zayn chuckles.
I can feel him fiddling with my ring. I look to his fingers around mine. He looks almost longingly to the ring. Does he want somebody for himself? Somebody to cuddle and call his own forever? Maybe Rhyann doesn’t want to settle. Maybe her judgement of him was wrong and they won’t last. I thought the lads would hurt my friends, but maybe it will be the other way around.
“Anyways, the lads want to come over. Louis got me an outfit for you to change into, because we all know how much you love hospital gowns,” Zayn smirks.
I meet his eyes to smile. I wasn’t even wearing one. I chuckle.
“You think you’ll need help?” Zayn asks awkwardly. “Er- the better question is, would you accept my help?” he offers.
I blush. “I think I’d have to if I’m sticking to this whole ‘cares about me’ thing,” I roll my eyes.
“Take it seriously. Come on. I can try to help with my eyes closed?” he smirks as he takes my hands to lead me to the bathroom.
“Okay. Let’s see how that works out for us,” I walk slowly with him to the bathroom.
Louis’ point of view.
“Oh my gosh! Hi, Louis! I’ve missed you!” Laurena runs up and hugs me. I smile as she almost knocks me off balance.
“I’ve missed you, too. I’m so glad to see you guys again,” I lift Laurena up and carry her as I smile to the rest of Tianna’s family.
“Hi, Louis. We were so happy to hear the news. And thank you so much for paying for the tickets here,” Tianna’s Mum smiles sheepishly to me.
I give her a hug. “No problem. I didn’t tell Tianna you were coming. I was just going to bring you guys to the hospital to surprise her,” I smile some more. I can’t help it. I love Tianna’s family. And she’s awake! I still can’t believe we’re engaged.
I lead Lydon, Arthur, Zachary and Tianna’s parents out to the van. I carry Laurena. “What happened to your hair?” Laurena asks, staring intently at my tuque.
I blush. “I shaved it off,” I answer her honestly.
“Why? Did you think you could pull that off very well?” Lydon comments snidely. I notice him get a smack from Tara.
“Nah, but what’s it matter? Tianna didn’t get a choice,” I say solemnly. We get out of the airport and I know exactly where I parked.
“Tianna got all her hair cut off?” Zachary asks, disbelieving.
“Yeah-uh-she needed stitches,” I say quietly. I didn’t want to freak out the kids, or stress out the parents. I know how easily they stress, now that I’ve joined the club. I like the club.
“Oh, God,” I hear her Dad mutter.
I unlock the van and open the doors for them. The kids get in the back with Tianna’s Dad. Tara and I sit in the front. As I pull out of the airport parking lot, I know she is watching me to see if I drive safely.
“So, are we going straight to the hospital or the hotel first?” Arthur asks.
“Tara?” I ask, glancing over at her.
“Hm?” she asks.
“Do you want to go straight to the hospital, or do you want to stop off at the flat for a pee or a snack or whatever?” I ask quietly.
“I’m sure everyone is hungry. Maybe we should eat first,” she ponders aloud.
“Who wants to go back to the flat?” I ask jauntily. I get chorus of positive replies. “Okay, good. Zayn won’t be there, but the rest of the lads will be there,” I explain shortly.
“So where’s Zayn?” Lydon asks.
“Zayn’s at the hospital with your sister. He’s getting her ready and keeping her company.” The van goes into an awkward silence as I drive back to the flat.
“How much longer” Laurena whines.
“Not much. A couple more minutes, sweetie,” I tell her.
“’Kay,” she says uncertainly. I think she’s gotta go.
I concentrate on my driving until we get back to the flat. I park and take the key out or the ignition. “Okay, everyone, pile out!” I smile behind me. They do just that. I get out and go unlock the front door for them. Their luggage stays abandoned in the locked van as I call out, “Hey, lads! Look who I just picked up at the side of the road!”
Liam, Harry and Niall come from the living room and greet Tianna’s family. Laurena scoots off to the bathroom as the lads chat with Tianna’s siblings. Tara and Shane come over to me. “How bad is she?” Shane asks softly.
“Uh-well, she’s got a ton of cuts, the stab wounds and I’m sure she is always sore. Tianna is still too stubborn to let me help too much, though. She had to get her head shaved from a couple cuts on her head. She wears bandages over the stitches, though. And she refuses to let them show too much. Tianna has to wear a hat over hem,” I say, unconsciously scratching my head under the hat. It feels weird to have it shaved short. It’s shorter than Tianna’s hair -as it should be- but not bald. I got it just before I went to the airport, and I didn’t tell anyone I was doing it.
“Is that why you shaved your head? Just because Tianna had to?” Tara asks in a hushed tone.
I nod. “She isn’t going to like it at first, but she’ll warm up to it. I’m sure she’ll be pissed at me for it. So will management. But that’s okay. It’ll help her feel better about herself.” I take off my hat and run my hand over my head, not at all used to the feeling of having such short hair.
Tara gives me a long look that makes me uncomfortable. “You are an amazing guy. I am so glad you are with my daughter.”
I blush. “I proposed to her yesterday,” I say softly. I can’t help the smile that forms on my lips as I close my eyes and picture her smiling face as I asked. I glance up at Tara and see tears in her eyes.
“When’s the wedding?” Shane asks.
I chuckle. “I still have yet to discuss that with Tianna.”
Tara smiles. “Tell us when you find out. We can’t wait to know.”
“We will,” I promise.
“Good,” Shane grins.
I nod.
“Louis? What’d you do to your hair?” Harry asks.
I take off my hat to show him my spikes of hair. “It’s for Tianna because… You know,” I tell him quietly. Liam and Niall hear. Niall gives me an approving look. Liam touches his grown-in, shaved hair from before Tianna woke up. It is longer than mine. More like the length of Tianna’s.
“I’m hungry!” Zachary whines.
“Calm your horses! Niall? Wanna help me feed people?” I ask my friend.
“Sure. If I get a nibble, too,” he smirks cheekily. I roll my eyes and lead him to the kitchen.
“You get some, but most is for my fiancée’s family,” I smirk. Now he rolls his eyes. I mention my proposal too much. I can’t help it. I knew she’d say yes and all, but now it is just so real. We are going to get married and I just may be more excited about it than her. I also think our parents are more excited about it than us.
Niall and I make them a vegetarian meal. It takes a while, but when everybody is fed and the bags are dumped in the front hall, we head out. I take Tianna’s family in the van and the lads take the new car. We got it as kind of a Christmas present from management. We park side by side in the parking lot and I lead the large group through the hospital. We got a few strange looks, a few sympathetic glances and some friendly smiles. As we all gather around Tianna’s door, I knock, nervously glancing to my group.
Your point of view.
"That's probably the lads now," Zayn tells me.
"Just a sec," I call out to them. I look at Zayn. "Does my hat cover my bandage completely?" I ask softly. He reaches out and his cautious, gentle fingers straighten my hat. "Thanks," I whisper sheepishly.
"'Kay, guys. Hopefully I look half-decent now," I murmur the last part to myself. Zayn gives me a hard glare as I hear the door open. I return it challengingly.
"Hey, Tt!" I am sure my eyes widen as I turn to see Laurena running up to my bed and giving me an awkward hug. The rest of my family follows, along with the lads. Zayn doesn't look surprised, so he must've been in on it.
"God, I hate surprises," I mutter as my face flushes from all of the unnecessary sympathetic looks.
"Only some," Louis sits on my bed and leans down to give me a kiss. I accept it, and immediately am suspicious of the tuque on his head. As his lips are distracted by mine, I slide my fingers under it. I expect to find the same feeling hair, but I feel short spikes. Like mine, but even shorter. I jerk away from him and pull the hat off before he can even react. I see the shorter-than-mine spikes on his head. It wasn't dyed hair, like I had earlier expected.
His face shows his surprise with an open mouth and nervous eyes. "Don't be mad. I just wanted you-" he starts.
"To what, Louis? To feel less left out? So you shaved your head? That would be considered an overreaction, Louis," I cut him off angrily. I loved his hair. So soft and comforting to run my fingers through, not to mention, good-looking.
"I just- I wanted you to feel comfortable in your own skin," he mumbles, eyes lowered.
I take a deep breath so I don't lecture him in front of everyone. "Okay, fine. Later," I end curtly. He licks his lips nervously as he gives a nod. I turn to my family, trying to let the anger seep out of me. "So, when'd you guys get here?" I ask with an unnaturally voice strained. I clear my throat.
"Were you saying we aren't a nice surprise?" Mum asks, a hand going to her hip. I resist the urge to roll my eyes.
"I love you guys, but this means I have to be social in a clean way," I give Mum a look.
"Who should leave?" She asks, glancing to my youngest siblings.
"Laurena and Zachary. Arthur can choose to stay or go," I answer.
Laurena pouts, not fully understanding the situation. "But I want to stay with you. I missed you," she says with a whine.
“Do you and Zachary want to go get ice cream?" Niall interrupts perkily.
"Sure," Zachary shrugs.
"Yes please!" Laurena claps to show her excitement.
"How about Arthur?" Niall asks.
"I guess I'll go too," he says after looking to me.
I grab Niall's wrist on his way by. He looks down at me, caring in his features. "Thanks," I say with a small forced smile. He nods and leads the kids out after I let go. I notice now that Harry isn't here.
"Where's Harry?" I question as Niall opens my door for Laurena.
"With Tommy. He's supposed to be coming up soon," Liam glances to the door, now being shut from the outside. As soon as the door clicks shut I flop down on the bed and pull the blanket over my head.
"God, damn it was horrible, Mum," I tell the light weaving through the sheets. I never swear in front of my parents, so I can imagine she would find this abnormal. She probably made a face to it. I feel somebody sit on the bed with me. If it's Louis I would just kick him off. He shouldn't have shaved his head.
"You can talk about it," Mum rubs my arm from the outside world from my sheet-world.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes. "It was cold," I state.
The snow landing on my cold skin, and not melting.
I shiver and I can feel Mum squeeze my arm comfortingly as I turn away from her. I like the safety of my hospital sheets that are making my arms bleed with the friction. "Okay, honey. If we're gonna do this, do it right," she says in a gentle, but firm way.
I open my eyes for second, but get blinded by tears so I close them again. I sniffle and clear my throat. "It hurt," my voice wavers. Mum continues rubbing my arm as she hums her answer of understanding. I gulp down my sob.
"He was so rough. It hurt," I shiver involuntarily. Mum rubs circles on my arm with her thumb.
"It sounds terrible. Were you two alone?" Mum asks in a strange tone of voice.
No, Mum. We had threesome. His dad joined in.
"No. His dad was there. He's the one who actually took me and brought me to David. He was more considerate and actually stood up for me," I whisper some of it without realizing.
"Did he ever... Do anything to you?" Dad pipes up from somewhere further away in the room.
"Yeah. At- uh- the bar," I say. I try, unsuccessfully to push the flashbacks out of my mind.
“It’s okay, darling. Everything will be fine”
“Why didn’t you get an abortion? That would’ve been easier…”
“It can either be mine or Louis’! Nobody else’s!”
“I am so sorry!”
“Tianna… Please don’t leave me…”
I rip my eyes open and gasp for air as my throat closes with a sob. I rip the blanket off my face as I sit up. I reach out for Mum and feel her arms around me. I hide my face in her shoulder. I smell her familiar Amber Romance perfume. Mum rubs my back soothingly. “Shh, honey. It’s alright now. It’s all over. You don’t have to worry about anything right now,” she murmurs into my ear.
I sob in what I hope is a silent matter into her shirt. I don’t think I’ve cried this much in front of her for years. I mean, I think the last time I cried in front of her was when she banned Louis; and those were mostly angry tears. “Mum-” I manage to choke out.
“Yeah, Hun?” she asks soothingly.
“Lydon-” I start.
“Shane. Take Lydon out,” Mum demands.
‘No. It’s fine. Liam and I will,” Zayn insists.
“Thanks guys,” I squeak into Mum. I never even lift my head as I hear them leave.
“Okay, Tianna,” Mum pulls away. I yearn for some place to hide my face, and I settle with my hands as I lean back into the headboard of the bed. My knees touch my chest and I curl up tightly. “You can be as open as you like now. It’s just Louis, your father and I,” Mum states firmly.
I nod into my knees to show I understood. A silence settles as I try to think of something to say.
“Where did all of your happiness go?” Louis asks softly. “You had so much of it yesterday.”
“I used it all up,” I mumble.
“That’s not possible. You can’t go from bursting with joy to dull with grief overnight. I didn’t think you were that bipolar,” Louis jokes, sliding an arm around my shoulders and sitting beside me.
“You thought wrong, because I can. The dreams. That’s the worst part of all this. If I didn’t have them, then I might’ve been able to put all of this shit behind me,” I finish angrily to the rumpled blankets in front of my feet.
“What’s so bad about them?” Mum asks, unfazed by my use of a swear word.
“If you had them, you’d know,” I meet her gaze evenly even though my voice wavers. I see confusion flash across her face briefly.
“Tianna?” Dad looks to me expectantly from where he leans on the opposite wall with crossed arms. I sniffle and look him in the eye. “Did David say why he killed the baby?”
I am surprised he knows, and immediately turn to Louis. He shrugs.
“Doctors tell the fathers of patients what’s going on if they ask,” he states casually.
“Oh, well, yeah. He did. He’d said something about how since it wasn’t his or Louis’, that it didn’t have a right to life,” I answer.
“Who’s was it?” Dad asks. I can hear a subtle change to his tone. He’s upset.
“Tyrone’s. David’s father,” I explain shortly.
“We suspect,” Louis adds.
“Yeah,” I agree flatly, thinking of the conversation with Tyrone, himself.
“What do you mean, ‘you suspect’?” Mum questions.
“I was wearing a condom,” Louis states evenly, unembarrassed. I blush, but nod.
Mum and Dad look at each other. I see Dad is now tense. He was loose and relaxed before. Now his hands were clenched into fists at his sides and he wasn’t leaning anymore. “Are you telling me that son of a bitch’s father got you pregnant? How old is he? Isn’t that illegal?” Dad growls menacingly.
I’ve never seen him like this. He was always the calm one while Mum lost her temper. He practically has smoke coming out his ears right now. He was always protective of me, but Mum more so. Now he is angrier than Mum.
“He is close to your age. It disgusts me too,” I mumble, my cheeks flushed. Louis pulls me into his side as Mum gets up. She stands in front of Dad. I hear her low voice muttering something to him in a soothing tone and holding his hand. Mum leads my seething father out with a small wave to me. I watch the door get closed behind her before turning to Louis.
“I’m sorry. I really do appreciate the hair thing, I just-“ I babble sheepishly.
“Hey. It’s fine,” he chuckles softly. “I understand.”
I nod to him before hugging him tight. I catch him off guards with my sudden movements, but he wraps his arms around me. “Could you stay here with me? Like, tonight? The nightmares really get to me. It would help if I could just wake you up and get soothing words instead of sitting in the dark, reliving it.”
“Of course. If the lads are okay with watching Tommy,” he says.
“Thank you so much. And I kind of lied about the sitting in the dark part. I need to sleep with the light on,” I give him a sheepish smile.
“Whatever makes you comfortable,” he smiles to me.
“Thanks,” I yawn.
“Oh, don’t tell me you’re tired,” Louis chuckles.
“I am. I was up a lot because of the nightmares,” I admit.
“It’s only quarter after one, though,” Louis informs me as he glances at his watch.
“Blame David,” I mutter, leaning into his less muscular torso.
“I will. How about you have your nap and I won’t be gone long. ‘Kay?” he offers.
“Okay,” I kiss his lips before lying down. “See you later,” I murmur.
“I love you,” he whispers.
Louis’ point of view.
I shut the door softly behind me. Tianna’s parents are talking softly on the opposite wall from the door. Tara looks up and sees me. “Hey, Louis,” she waves me over.
“Yeah?” I ask. I step up beside them. I’m taller than Tianna’s Mum, but shorter than her Dad.
“Has Tianna told you more about it than us?” Shane asks.
“Uh-yeah. She’s told me quite a bit actually,” I say.
“Well, this really got to her. Since you know more than us, and I don’t want to press her for more, do you think she should see a therapist this time? We were just talking about it. I’m not sure if it would be the right thing to do or not, though,” Tara explains.
I sigh and look to the floor. I shove my hands into my pockets and close my eyes for a moment. I’ve been wondering the same thought. If it would help her in the long run, then I’d do it. Price wouldn’t matter for me. I just want her happy. “I don’t know. I’d have to think about it,” I say finally. I run my palm across my tired eyes to try to coax them awake. “I’m spending the night with her tonight. Once I get her reaction to the dreams, then I’ll probably be able to decide,” I look into their eyes.
“Okay, Louis. Thank you,” Shane says softly. I nod.
“Your opinion really counts for this because she’s probably told you the most and you know her best, in this matter,” Tara tells me.
“No pressure,” I chuckle. “And you probably know her best overall,” I smile.
“Probably, but that isn’t the point. Right now we need your opinion,” Tara insists.
I nod. “Okay. I’ll get you an answer before you leave for home,” I promise.
“Thank you, Louis. We just want what’s best for Tianna,” Tara says, tears in her eyes.
I nod again. “Okay. I’m going to go see Tommy. I’ve been neglecting him a bit. He’s always with the lads nowadays,” I sigh and go off in search of them. I find Lydon, Liam and Zayn in the waiting room.
“Hi, Louis. What’s up?” Lydon asks.
Oh, nothing really. I’m just looking for Tommy,” I smile tiredly.
“He’s with Harry still. They haven’t come up yet,” Liam tells me.
“Why not?” I ask. Protective parent mode: On.
Liam shrugs.
I immediately leave to go check outside. Harry could’ve taken Tommy for a drive if he was cranky, right? Yeah, it’s probably something logical like that. Definitely. I hope.
I let my eyes skid across the parking lot without seeing them. I look around again, this time spotting them at the neighboring park. I make my way over, relaxing on the way. When I make my way over, I can hear what Harry is saying to Tommy.
“Can you say Harry? Say Harry. Liam doesn’t matter right now. I’m with you,” Harry lifts Tommy onto the climber to sit at the top of the slide. He holds Tommy, letting him slide down the short slide slowly.
Tommy’s smile is huge on his face. “Eeyum!” he exclaims. I didn’t know he could say that. I feel like such a bad father.
“No! Harry! My name is Harry!” he whines.
“Dadadada,” Tommy says, looking in my direction, causing Harry to turn around in curiosity.
“Oh. Hey, Louis. How’s Tianna? Tommy didn’t want to go inside, so I decided I shouldn’t upset Tianna with a crying baby,” he straightens up and sits Thomas on his hip.
“Yeah. Tianna’s okay. She was a bit mad about the hair, but then she said it was sweet. Her parents think she might need to see a therapist,” I extend my hands to take Tommy.
Harry hands me my baby. “Why? Do they think it’s messed her up that much?” Harry asks concernedly.
“Yeah. They’re having me make the final decision since I know her best for this matter,” I say, liking how I can share the weight of this responsibility somewhat.
“Wow. Tara must really trust you now. Tianna was almost scared of her Mum’s reactions when we first met her. You should probably feel special,” Harry says, looking at his feet as we walk towards the hospital.
“I do, but I am kind of stressed out about it. Tianna will be pissed if I make her go, but her parents would trust me more. I am going to decide tonight, after I figure out how bad the dreams really are. She keeps mentioning them, but not saying anything about them. She just says that they’re horrible. She won’t tell me anything about them. I’ll just make her tell me tonight,” I say, smiling to Tommy as he squeezes my nose. Tommy giggles as I pretend to bite his hand.
“Tianna wouldn’t tell you anything? How bad are these nightmares?” Harry asks, worry clear in his tone.
“I don’t know. She was crying though. Like, full-out sobs, even though they were almost silent. She keeps referring to them as dreams, too. Not nightmares,” I think out loud, finding the concept complex and strange.
“Maybe she just didn’t want you guys to worry about it and make her explain. She’s always under-exaggerating things to try to keep them hidden from us. I’ve noticed it, at least,” Harry scratches the back of his neck awkwardly as we enter the hospital building.
“I’ve actually noticed the same thing,” I agree. We turn down the hall to Tianna’s room and almost bump into Zayn.
“Oh, hey. There you are. Tianna wants you. Something about her dreams,” he says, sounding confused and seeming to want an explanation.
I look to Harry and see it in his eyes. We both quicken our pace down the hall and I trail a bit behind him. Tommy thinks it’s a game and starts giggling. When I reach Tianna’s door, I turn around and push the door open, entering backwards. I turn to see Tianna sitting up in bed, jaw clenched and eyes squeezed shut. Tears are on her cheeks as she breathes deeply. I sit beside her on the small bed and put my hand on hers.
Tianna’s misty eyes open and look from Tommy and I to Harry. She takes a deep breath before opening her mouth. “Larry Stylinson back on? I thought we were over that,” she offers a weak smile and reaches for Tommy.
I give her a hard look and hand her the baby. “Y’okay?” I ask softly.
She shakes her head softly, her smile dissipating, and tweaks Tommy’s outfit. I glance at Harry and when I look back, Tianna has Tommy’s shirt straightened. “Harry?” she asks quietly.
“Yeah?” he steps closer expectantly.
“Could you take Tommy out? I need to talk to my fiancé about sneaking around with other men around my back,” she says seriously.
Harry blushes and nods as he scoops Tommy up. Tommy protests as Harry carries him out.
“What’s wrong?” I ask her as soon as the door is shut.
“I need a hug,” she opens her arms, waiting.
I pull her close to me and whisper in her ear. “What is so bad about the dreams?” I ask soothingly.
“Everything,” she murmurs over my shoulder.
“You want to tell me? It would probably help,” I tell her as I pull away to look into her eyes.
Tianna looks down at the floor. “No. I’d rather not.”
“Are you sure?” I ask gently. She nods. “Okay. If that’s what you prefer,” I say sadly. I give her one last, vain, coaxing look.
“Look. I’m not going to tell you right now. Somebody could just walk in and hear me say something… You know. And then it’d be awkward for everyone,” she reasons.
“It’s fine. If that’s the only reason that you’re holding back, then go ahead. Spill it. It wouldn’t be too bad for somebody to hear a couple words if it would help you sleep better,” I says encouragingly.
“Louis. You and I both know that isn’t the only reason why. I’m just not ready. Not yet. I just can’t,” Tianna mumbles. Her cheeks pink as she keeps her gaze low.
“Fine. Later?” I ask, my hope growing.
She shrugs. “Maybe never.”
“Never is a long time,” I tell her sadly, knowing I’m not going to get told. At least not right now.
“I know.”
We sit in silence for a moment before I find Tianna’s hand under the blanket to squeeze it. We both look towards the door as it opens unexpectedly and abruptly. Laurena, Zachary and Arthur strut in with Niall trailing behind. Tianna sniffles and wipes any stray tears off her cheeks.
“Hey, Tt. Can we stay this time?” Laurena asks.
“Sorry. I told them to knock. They don’t listen to their uncle when he is practically their brother’s age, I guess,” Niall apologizes sheepishly.
“It’s fine. Yes, Laurena. You can stay this time. I missed you,” Tianna smiles. I’m not sure if it’s real or not. I know she can act okay when she sets her mind to it, so I don’t know.
“So are you okay?” Arthur asks her.
“Yeah. I’m fine,” she says with another soft smile.
“So how’s that girlfriend of yours?” she asks Arthur in a gossipy way.
“She’s nothing. She broke up with me,” he shrugs, looking to the floor.
“Why would she do that?” Tianna has genuine confusion in her tone.
“Apparently I’m not hot enough to be with her,” he mumbles, sounding ashamed as his cheeks attempt to match his ginger hair.
“Come here,” Tianna demands, opening her arms to offer a hug.
Arthur comes forward to accept it.
“If I’m not mistaken, the hunk sitting beside me on the bed was dumped for not being attractive enough. Now look at him. I bet that biatch regrets it,” she smirks as my cheeks heat.
“Yeah. It was a while back,” I shrug, remembering it.
“Really?” Arthur asks, giving me a skeptical look.
I feel my cheeks heat more. “Yeah. I was young…”
“And a sweetheart. She had no reason to dump you. Though I’m not complaining that I get you now,” Tianna pouts, wrapping her arms around me affectionately.
I hug her back and give her a kiss on her forehead. I love when she sticks up for me. It’s so sweet. “I love you,” I murmur to her.
“Everybody knows I love you,” Tianna smiles. It is definitely genuine.
“Yes, we do,” Zachary says in a flat, tired voice.
“I guess I’ve mentioned it before?” Tianna looks up at me with a small, forced smirk.
“Maybe once or twice,” I smile and nuzzle her neck. She leans into me more, seeming to not want to let go.
“Guys. Nothing PG-13 with Laurena and Zachary in the room,” Arthur says.
Tianna laughs. “And why not? Why don’t we go all Restricted on you guys?” she asks tiredly.
“Er-Yuck. No thanks,” Arthur turns away to made a disgusted facial expression.
“How about you leave so that we can go all Restricted? I ask quietly while rubbing Tianna’s back gently.
“It’s okay! I don’t care if you kiss!” Laurena insists.
Arthur bursts out laughing. I see Zachary smirk and Tianna smiles slightly.
“How about you leave anyway so that you don’t see us kiss? I don’t really want you to see us eat face,” Tianna forces a smile and chuckle after quickly losing her brief lip-curve.
“Yeah, Laurena. Let’s go Mom probably wants to know where we are anyway,” Arthur smiles.
“I’ll take you,” Niall gets up from silently leaning on the wall like our own personal body guard.
“Thanks,” I say quietly.
“Yes. Thank you Uncle Niall,” Tianna puts emphasis on Uncle.
“Okay. We can go with Uncle Niall; Even though he isn’t really even related to us!” Zachary says with attitude.
“So? He basically is. I’m sure he loves you guys and you don’t even know it. Anyhonh, you can call him whatever you want. I just wanted to establish the fact that he is related to you,” Tianna explains seriously with a flat tone.
“Okay, fine<” Zachary snaps, following Niall out.
“Watch the attitude,” Tianna states. Zachary doesn’t answer as he slams the door behind them all. Tianna shakes her head as she leans into me, closing her eyes.
“Are you tired?” I ask her.
“Yeah. I was up most of the night last night. Those freaking dreams!” she snaps her eyes open angrily.
“What is it about them that’s so upsetting?” I reach out for Tianna as she pulls away from me.
She shakes her head and gets out of the stiff hospital bed, reaching for her wheelchair. Instead of sitting in it, she leans on it to help her get to the bathroom. “It’s too… I can’t tell you,” she says quietly before shutting the door.
I sigh and get out of the bed. I grab the pancake container off of her bed side table and leave the room. I find Liam in the hall and walk up to him. “Hey. Take this home?” I ask.
“Sure. What’s happening?” he asks, surveying my face and posture.
“I think Tianna is going to go to sleep. I’m staying with her. Tell everyone to go home. Maybe you can bring Tianna’s family’s bags to their hotel room?” I ask, trying not to beg.
“No problem, Louis. You’re all stressed and tense. Calm down. Everything will be fine. I know it will. It always is,” Liam assures me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.
“Thanks,” I lean in to hug him. He hugs me back awkwardly with the plastic container in his hand.
“See you tomorrow?” he asks.
“See you tomorrow,” I nod, offering a small smile before turning away. I go back to Tianna’s room to see her in bed with the covers pulled up to her nose almost. I walk over and climb in with her. I don’t even bother to get under any blankets; I was tired too.
I just wrap an arm around her and drift off to sleep.