Chapter lowkey long asf
V I N C E N T
I drank my sorrows away all weekend.
What I did to Nina was painful for me. She was a ray of sunshine for me and even with her little snarky remarks, I enjoyed every second I had with her.
But I needed to do this.
Not just for me but for Damien.
He may say that he doesn't need any help but I can see through his facade. Damien is getting weaker and he continues to cough up blood but tries to hide the tissues at the bottom of the trashcan.
The day after we went to visit a doctor I decided that I will be moving to New York to watch out for him.
I already looked up teacher positions at NYU and the Dean of faculty emailed me a few days ago saying that there is an open slot for an American Government position.
It's what's best for my family. No matter that I feel completely empty now that Nina is no longer in my life anymore.
Sunday night, Damien comes walking into my house and sees me leaning against my kitchen island with my fourth glass of scotch in my hand.
"How's business?" I slur out, gulping more of the stingy liquid.
I don't even have to look at him to know that he's pissed about something. I can feel his aurora all the way from where I'm standing.
"Didn't work out. The CEO is a douchebag but don't worry, I left my mark on his ugly ass face." He growls out and plops down on the stool across from me, rubbing his now bruised knuckles. He looks from me to my glass and arches a brow. "Why are you drinking?"
I laugh humorously and down the rest of my drink before pouring another glass full.
"I let go of my little submissive."
Damien shoots out of his seat with a mixture of shock and anger.
What the fuck is he angry about?
"You did what?!" He yells, walking over to me and snatching the glass from my hand. I try to grab it from him but end up stumbling over my own feet. I grip the counter to stabilize myself.
"Are you deaf? I said I ended it with Nina!" I try to grab my glass again but Damien moves further away from me and pours my scotch down the drain.
"Why the fuck would you do that?" He's angry. Angrier then when he found out that he has cancer.
"Why the fuck are you mad about this? It's not your business." I growl out, stumbling out of the kitchen and up the stairs to my bedroom.
It still smells like her. My room is filled with her alluring scent. I fall face first on my bed and inhale a deep breath to smell her lingering perfume on my sheets. I want to fucking cry. This shouldn't be so painful. I've had other submissives before her that I've ended contracts with but it wasn't as painful as this one.
Damien loud footsteps get louder as he enters my room.
"You're a real fucking asshole." My cousin says. I turn my head to look at him but all I see are two blurry figures dancing around.
"And you have cancer." I retort back.
Damien looks at me with furrowed brows. "What does that have to do with anything?"
I scoff and go back to smelling my sheets.
"I just thought we were saying things that we already know about each other."
Before I can dive deep into my memories I've had with my brown eyed girl, Damien grabs me by the collar of my shirt and lifts me up from my bed. I'm about to curse him out but his fist punching my face cuts me off.
"Do you have any idea the shit Nina went through yesterday?!" Damien bends down to my curled up body and spits out the words. "She met her fucking father and he completely shut her out. Abandoned her and left her crying. I found her near the brink of a panic attack in the fucking elevator!"
His words are jumbled up in my mind but they're clear enough for me to understand.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I rub my jaw as I glare at my cousin.
Damien stands up towering over me with a scowl on his face.
"Nina was bawling her eyes out when I found her. She told me that she met her father and that he basically shunned her. I tried to comfort her but she wouldn't let me. The only time I saw her face form into something remotely happy was when she got a text from her phone." He states and my drunkenness starts to fade away.
I try to stand but the alcohol in my system is still present and Damien has to help lift me up onto my bed.
"She didn't say anything to me." I whisper to myself but he heard me.
"She probably was before your stupid ass broke her heart even more." He hisses and his hands clench into fists. "You're fucking selfish and right I can't even look at you."
I open my mouth to say something but nothing seems to be coming out. I'm shocked for words. This wasn't suppose to happen. This was suppose to be easy and simple but everything got complicated once I started to fall for her.
"Did you even realize that Nina was in love with you? Did you not see it in the way she would stare at you or admire every pitiful thing that came out of your mouth?" Damien pushes me back down on the bed hard when I try to stand up.
"I need to see her!" I glare at him when he pushes me again.
"You're drunk and it's late and quite frankly, if I was her I wouldn't want to see you." He gets in my face with his next words, "I don't care for chicks. Never had and probably never will. But Nina? She was something else and you just lost her to your own selfish needs."
To make his words more clear, he punches me again.
"Fuck!"
"Fuck you Vincent. You were suppose to be the smarter one out of the both of us. But this decision you just made was the dumbest thing you could've ever done." Damien leaves me alone in my bedroom with my thoughts piercing into my skull causes my head to throb a thousand miles an hour.
I crawl onto my bed and lay on the side that Nina would sleep on and stuff my nose into the pillow case. I close my eyes and imagine she's here with me.
"Why are you staring at me like that?" Nina's eyes move over to mine and a smile forms on her face.
She's laying down with a book in her hand and her bonnet on her head. She's free of makeup and yet she is still the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on.
"Can I not stare?" I arch a brow with a smirk on my lips.
I guess my gaze is too much because she giggles awkwardly and uses the book to cover her face. I remove the book and lean down to kiss her.
"Beautiful." I murmur before kissing her again.
I end up throwing the pillow across the room and yell out every curse word I can think of.
Looking down, I see her bonnet she uses whenever she spends the night laying there. I grab it with shaky hands and bring it to my face. I can smell the vanilla and coconut cream she uses and I fall asleep with her bonnet still on my face.
~~~
N I N A
This weekend was...quite unforgettable to say the least.
I found out that my biological father had an affair with my mother and then wanting nothing to do with us when he found out that she was pregnant with me.
Vincent decided to end our relationship because I was nothing but a good fuck for him and he got bored. When those words came out of his mouth, it felt like someone punch through my chest and wrapped their hand around my heart and squeezed with all their might. But nothing can compare to what I came home to.
Seeing my mother at the brink of death with slit wrists in a tub filled with water was something I can never erase from my mind. She says that she blames me and that's why she tried to kill herself. The next morning when I came home and after talking with the real estate agent about selling my house, I grab my mothers phone and went through it.
Some random California number called her an hour before I found her and the phone call was only two minutes long. If I had to guess, it was my sperm donor.
The real estate agent came by my house at noon and we spent the next two hours discussing my options and prices as well as how long the process will take.
"I just want to get rid of this house." I told the agent.
"Then let's book a photographer to come by to take pictures." She tells me.
She wanted to walk around the house at that moment and I let her but told her that my mothers room is a mess because she was redecorating and added new appliances. The agent didn't question me and continue on to look through the rest of the house.
She left an hour later and I spent the rest of the day cleaning and organizing everything in the house. The hospital called me that night to let me know about my mom and when she will be transferred. I hung up before the tears could fall.
It's the next day and now I'm getting ready for school. I was contemplating whether I should just skip the day but decided against it because I refuse to show people I'm weak.
I know I will see Mr. Clarke and there's no way in hell he will see me break.
I am strong.
I am independent.
And fuck him.
For my outfit, I'm just wearing my school issued uniform with a school crew neck. My hair is out in its big man and I'm free of makeup.
I walk into school fifteen minutes before the first bell rings and I immediately want to go back home.
In the hallway is Vincent. Talking and laughing with Ms. Martin. The junior English teacher. The last time I saw them talking was in the cafeteria on the first day of school.
Did he end it with me because he's actually leaving California or because he was actually bored with me and found someone his own age?
I don't have a chance to turn around and leave the school because someone is calling out my name.
"Miss Adams!"
I turn my head to see Mrs. Blackwood walking up to me with a huge smile on her face.
I take a chance to glance back at my history teacher to see him looking at me. He says something to Ms. Martin before he starts walking over to me but Mrs. Blackwood beat him to it.
"Miss Adams." she smiles at me.
I smile back and arch a brow in confusion. "Good morning, Mrs. Blackwood. Is there a problem?"
She laughs and waves her wrinkly hand around. She's honestly so adorable. "No, no, no! On the contrary. The principal will like to see you."
Judging by the excitement on her face, I'm going to guess that I'm not in trouble.
I open my mouth to ask what this is about but a deep voice stops me.
"Miss Adams, may I speak with you for a moment?" Vincent asks from next to Mrs. Blackwood.
He has dark circles under his eyes and kind of smells like the hair cream I use. His eyes are pleading for me to say yes but I don't want to be anywhere near this man ever again. Luckily, Mrs. Blackwood saves me.
"Miss Adams is mine for the morning, Mr. Clarke. You'll get to speak with her later on in the school day." And before Vincent can say anything else, I'm being dragged away to the principals office.
I actually don't plan on staying for the rest of the day. A photographer is coming by the house to take pictures at 12:30 so I was going to leave school during lunch. So no Vincent, you will not be speaking with me at all today. Or ever again. I blocked his number and removed all the photos I have of us on my phone. Except one.
It's one of both of us wearing a bonnet. I'm in a black silk robe and Vincent is shirtless with a white towel hung low around his hips. I convinced him to wear a green face mask and so it's the two of us posing in front of the bathroom mirror with one arm around his shoulders and the other holding the phone just below his eyes to block his face. His hands are on my hips and we're both smiling at the phone even though you can't see Vincent's face all that well.
It's my favorite picture of us and I couldn't bring myself to delete it.
Walking into the principals office sobers me up quickly and I see Mr. Walsh sitting on the other side of his desk with a genuine grin on his face.
"Giannina Adams!" He stands up and greets me with a handshake that I return. "Please, please sit down we have much to discuss."
I sit down with Mrs. Blackwood sitting in the chair next to me. A smile is still on her face and I furrow my brows in confusion because I have no idea what's going on.
It's silent for a moment. None of them is saying a word and the awkwardness of the silence this room is filled with is making me anxious.
At first I thought I was in trouble but eliminated that thought quickly because Mrs. Blackwood assured me that I wasn't. But what if she lied to me? What if they know something about me and Vincent? No that can't be because then wouldn't he be in here too?
"So I'm not in trouble right?" I ask no one in specific but my eyes are on Mr. Walsh.
He shakes his head no and Mrs. Blackwood grabs my hand and gives it a firm squeeze.
"Ugh! Spit it out already Donald!" Mrs. Blackwood exclaims and is basically bouncing in her seat.
Mr. Walsh pulls something up on his computer and clears his throat before speaking, "This is from your school email but since you didn't restart your password last week you got logged out."
Well that explains why I haven't been getting any emails from the school lately.
"Okay...?" I look to Mrs. Blackwood who winks at me and points to Mr. Walsh. I look back over to my principal and he starts to read:
Dear Miss Giannina Adams,
On behalf of the Grey's Interior Design Program in Manhattan, I would like to announce your full ride scholarship acceptance into the 2022 summer/fall semester.
Congratulations on your acceptance and can't wait to see what you will bring into this program.
Sincerely,
Sebastian Chase
- Admissions Team Member and Associate of Dean.
I sit there dumbfounded and shocked at what I just heard.
"Wait," I put my hand up and look to my interior design teacher next to me. "I got accepted into the program?"
Mrs. Blackwood nods her head at me and I cover my face with my hands.
"Can I see for myself, please?" I ask Mr. Walsh and he nods his head, flipping his computer screen towards me.
I read the email over and over again and I can feel the first genuine smile form on my face since last week.
"Wait, it says for the summer and fall semester. I read on their website that their summer semester starts in April." I tell my principal. School doesn't end til June.
"Well that's why you're here. You have enough credits to graduate right now if you wish." My eyes widen at Mr. Walsh's words. "Our school provides an online graduation certification for eligible students and you are one of them. The certification will only take about an hour to complete and then you'll officially be a graduate student!"
I cant believe this is happening to me. My dreams of moving to Manhattan and joining the Grey's program is finally coming true.
I stand up and Mrs. Blackwood does as well and pulls me into a hug.
"I'm so proud of you, honey." She whispers in my ear and I close my eyes tightly so the tears won't fall because that's all I've ever wanted to hear from someone.
That they're proud of me.
I decided to take the certification in the principals office and completed it right when lunch started.
I'm officially a graduate student.
"You're going to do amazing things, Miss Adams." Mr. Walsh says with a smile.
I say my thanks and head out of the office to start packing up my locker to head home and meet up with the photographer.
Everyone is already in the cafeteria for lunch so the hallways are a ghost town. Once everything is packed, I close my locker and smile.
This is really happening.
I'm really moving to Manhattan.
My smile is still on my face when I turn to leave the school but it drops when I see who's standing only a few feet away from me.
"Nina." His voice is merely a whisper but I can hear him clear as day.
Vincent looks tired. Like he hasn't slept in years and the collar of his shirt is wrinkled like he didn't care to iron it this morning. His hair is messy like he's been running his finger through it and there's dark scruff growing on his chin.
A pang of hurt hits my chest like a truck when I look at him. At the man who I still feel love for but a man I can no longer have because he hurt me.
I start to walk in his direction slowly. He becomes stiff at my movements but the closer I get to him, hope grows in his eyes. His hands clench like he wants to reach out and touch me but I remember his words like they're burned into my mind.
"You were a good fuck but now I'm bored..."
I will never forgive him for that.
He's leaving. I'm leaving. Hell I just fucking graduated from this place. He couldn't just wait a few more days?
So as I continue to walk in his direction, I wait til I'm mere inches from him before turning just slightly to walk right past him towards the doors of the school.
"Nina wait." He grabs my wrist but I pull it out of his grasp and turn to look at him.
"Don't fucking touch me." I snap out.
Vincent looks around the empty hallway before closing the space between us.
"Can we please talk?" He whispers out with a plead. I look up into his blue eyes to see that they're red and glassy. He's either high or has been crying. I'm going to choose the option of him being high because there's no way he's been crying.
There's nothing from him to be sad about.
He didn't get shunned by his father. He didn't witness his mother almost kill herself. And he didn't get dumped by someone who he truly loved.
I lift the plastic bag with all my locker things higher up my shoulder and Vincent looks at it with furrowed brows.
"You're leaving?" He frowns.
Don't cry Nina. Do not fucking cry.
I scoff and take a step closer to him to whisper out the next words.
"You were right. The sex was good. But I bored now and it's time for me to move on."
I take a step back, turn around and head towards the front door leaving Vincent standing there as he watches me walk out of his life. I walk out, get in my car, and take off.
Leaving him and everything else behind.
*****
Nina is a boss ass bitch but this is lowkey sad :/