Mackenzie
The week brings what it usually brings, which is a fuck ton of work. My next newspaper issue is due to the printer on Sunday night, so I'm desperately trying to get everyone to submit their articles and trying to get my editors to help me with layout. Two of them flake immediately with the excuse of exams. Camilla is going to be gone over the weekend, but promises to do as much as possible during the week.
I have an exam on Monday which I think I manage to smash. The person who sits behind me in the exam chews his gum loudly the whole time, which is honestly the worst part of the whole thing, but regardless I make it through.
I help Dane on Monday and Tuesday and it seems like we're falling into a routine of good tutoring hours. I realize that helping him is quickly becoming one of the best parts of my day. He makes me laugh, and he's a good student. And, for the most part, he works hard on his own and only asks me questions when he gets stuck, which means that tutoring him isn't really that big of an inconvenience because most of our time together is spent with me working on my own work anyway.
It's Wednesday evening and we're sitting in the library when I see Dane get truly stressed for the first time. "Mack, I calculated out my grades today, and I'm going to have to ace everything else in this fucking class to get the grade I need."
"I'll help you." I promise.
"I just don't know if I can do it. I just don't think it's clicking." He puts his head in his hands. I vehemently disagree with him, because it seems like he's understanding the concepts quicker and quicker with every tutoring session.
"You can definitely do it." I reassure him.
"Maybe if this was my only class." He whispers. "But with all my classes, and baseball, and lifting, and my fucking roommates disturbing my god damn sleep all the time. I just feel on the brink--" His voice trails off, and I watch as his hands clench into fists. "I'm so fucking stressed."
"What would help?" I ask, hoping that maybe Dane can give me a good idea and I won't have to come up with one myself.
"I don't know, Mack. I really don't. If I knew, I would have already done it." He sighs and presses his forehead against the table. I can see him squeezing his eyes shut, and my heart goes out to him. His schedule is insane, I honestly don't know how he keeps up any of his energy. The man rarely gets a break.
He doesn't talk about baseball much with me, but he'll make occasional comments about his pitching, and I get the sense that he's always trying to do better, to respond to criticism from his coaches.
"I think I just need to relax." He lets out a forced laugh. "But I don't remember how."
An idea occurs to me then, but I don't say anything to Dane in case it doesn't work out, so we keep working as if nothing had happened. When we say goodnight, Dane gives me his usual chipper smile, promising to meet me the next day with lunch.
Thursday rolls around, I make it through classes, and then text Dane that he should meet me at my house instead of at the library. We don't live far off of campus, so I'm hoping that he agrees. I obtain my surprise for him, glad that all my roommates will be out of the house for the afternoon.
When he arrives and knocks, I open the door. "Hey."
"Hey. Feeling a change of pace today?"
"Yeah." I smile. "I brought you something."
"What is it?"
"You'll see."
"Weirdly secretive, Mack." Dane sits down at our table after peering in our kitchen and I go to my room and open the door. 115 pounds of Great Pyrenees mix comes rushing out of my room to see Dane.
Dane is on the floor immediately, his face buried in my aunt's dog. I can't tell if he's crying or laughing as his shoulders shake, but I decide not to question it as the two collapse on the floor together and Dane starts rubbing Elmo's tummy.
"What's his name?" Dane asks, looking up at me.
"Elmo." I tell him.
"That's a ridiculous name for a massive dog."
"I know. Blame my aunt."
Dane lays on his back on the floor and Elmo rests his head on Dane's stomach. I find myself being a little bit jealous of the dog and the affection he's getting, but I know I'm being ridiculous.
Elmo and Dane spend a good half hour on the floor. Dane keeps his eyes shut most of the time, just petting Elmo and rubbing his belly. They look very peaceful, and as I sit at the table and do my work, I can tell that Dane is slowly relaxing just by looking at how tense his shoulders are. I'm relieved that this worked, because I had been worried that Dane might be allergic to dogs.
When Dane finally gets up to sit at the table with me, Elmo comes over and puts his head in Dane's lap.
"This was perfect, Mack." Dane tells me.
"I'm glad."
"If I'd known you had access to a polar bear, I would have asked for tutoring help a long time ago." I smile and he shoots me a wink. "So your aunt lives near by?"
"Yeah, she only lives like ten minutes away. She works super long hours, so I don't see her much, but she runs her business out of her house and likes to have the company of a dog. Hence Elmo." Elmo looks over at me and pants happily.
"Which side is your aunt on? Mom's? Dad's?"
"My dad's sister." I tell him. "That whole side of the family is pretty introverted. Not very big into the whole people interaction thing."
"Your dad too?"
"Yeah." I feel my heart clench and I'm starting to think that I shouldn't elaborate further, but my mouth just keeps on talking anyway. "He's basically a recluse. He's a scientist and just works all the time. I saw him more when I was a kid, but he got a new job that he's obsessed with when I started high school, and we've barely seen him since."
"Do you have siblings?"
"Nope, it's just me." I wonder where Dane's sudden interest in me is coming from. I don't have much time to think about it before his next question.
"And your mom?"
"She's a CFO. Almost as busy as my dad." Again, I can feel myself start to vomit information that I shouldn't, but I can't stop. "They're both really work focused. They were excited that I was pursuing a math degree, because it's a STEM subject, but I don't know-- I think work just really takes the cake for them. Sometimes I wonder what the point of having a kid even was." I glance at Dane, and I can't read his expression. I'm wondering if it's pity, but I don't want to think that, so I push the thought away. "How's the assignment coming along?" I redirect our focus back to his code.
"Good, I think all this tutoring is paying off." Dane shows me his code, and we walk through it. He's basically finished and we spend the next ten minutes wrapping everything up.
The door flies open and I hear giggles as Kate and Lea come through. Elmo lets out a single bark and Kate and Lea stop in their path.
"Elmo's here." I tell Kate as Elmo rushes to see them. Kate and Lea both get down onto their knees to pet the massive dog. "I thought you had class?"
"It was a test review today, so we got out early." Kate tells me, peppering Elmo's face with kisses.
"Kate, Lea, this is Dane." I say when they stand up. They say hello and then disappear into the kitchen, where I can hear them giggling again.
"Is that the roommate who left you for dead this weekend?" Dane whispers.
I let out a small laugh and nod.
"They seem very happy." Dane observes.
"A little too happy if you ask me." I mutter. Dane gives me a look but doesn't say anything else. I realize that it came out a little more testy than I would've liked. I'd been trying to make a joke, but I was pretty sure it was a swing and a miss.
Elmo comes and rests his head in my lap and I pet him, running my fingers through his long fur. At least the dog won't judge me.
Dane stays for a bit to work on some of his own homework, and then, after giving Elmo another round of love, he leaves for practice. When it's just me and Elmo again, Kate and Lea emerge from the kitchen.
"He's very cute." Lea tells me. "Are you guys dating?"
"No, I'm tutoring him."
"You should be dating." Lea says. "You would be really cute together."
"He has a girlfriend." Kate tells her. "Or at least that's the excuse that Mack keeps using."
"Kate--" I say in warning.
"I know, I know. Respecting relationships and all that." She grins. "It just seems like you've been spending a lot of time together the last two weeks."
"I'm tutoring him!"
"Is that what we're calling it?"
"Kate!"
Kate lets out a wild laugh and runs up the stairs. "Sorry she's crazy." Lea tells me. "But I do think you'd be cute together. You know, if he ever becomes single again." And then she takes off after Kate.
I'm left staring after them, trying to figure out the feelings that I have for Dane.