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Morticia and Gomez were sitting out in the graveyard underneath the moonlit sky.
"Look at you. Midnight, moonlight, surrounded by death." Gomez praised.
"It's been too long." Morticia said.
The two leaned in to share a kiss, but were interrupted by voices coming from the house.
"Do it!" Wednesday demanded.
"Hold him still!" Pugsley whined.
A gun fired and broke one of their windows.
"You missed!" Wednesday scolded.
Gomez and Morticia went to kiss again, but were interrupted once more.
"Here, catch!" Wednesday said.
"I don't want him!"
Another window broke.
"One house, three children, a future daughter-in-law. So many windows." Morticia commented.
"My darling, it's you I'm worried about. The stress, all this squabbling." Gomez worried.
"Oh, I'll be fine." She reassured. "I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. A loving husband, a family...It's just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade. That's all."
"You can, you shall, so it must be!" Gomez promised.
"But how?"
...
"Children, as your new Nanny, I know that we are all concerned about the environment."
A woman with pigtails, and multiple beaded necklaces sat criss cross in a chair across from Wednesday, (Y/n), and Pugsley. (Y/n) was sitting in front of Wednesday with her back up against his chest, while his arms were around her waist.
"So, this morning, let's discuss how to prevent forest fires."
"Prevent them?" Wednesday pulled out a matchbox and lit one of them.
...
"Alright children, I've had it up to here."
This nanny had dark skin, and was a bit heavier, with glasses and a serious expression.
"Now you just answer one simple question. Where is that baby?"
"Which part?" Wednesday asked.
...
"Hello kiddies! I'm Polly the Puppet."
An older woman had a puppet on one of her hands and was talking in a very high pitched voice.
"What shall we do today? I know! Let's all clean our rooms!" The puppet suggested.
Wednesday brought out a puppet of the devil. "Hello Polly. I'll clean my room...in exchange for your immortal soul." He then made the puppet rub his hands together evilly.
...
A loud knock on the door sounded through the house. Lurch opened the door to reveal a young woman with short blonde hair, wearing a white dress.
"Hi Addams residence?" She asked as she entered the house. "Ooh, it's old."
She turned to Lurch and looked him up and down. "And big." She purred.
"Lurch." Morticia said from the stairs.
"Hi! Hi, I'm Debbie Jellinsky from the Agency." She introduced.
"The Agency? But they claimed no one else was available. They suggested a Doberman." Morticia said.
"Surprise! I've been out of town. Are you the mom?" She asked.
"I am Mrs. Addams." Morticia confirmed.
"I love your dress! It's so tight."
"Thank you." Morticia turned and saw that Gomez had entered the room. "Gomez, I believe we may have a new Nanny." She went down the stairs to his side. "Ms. Jellinsky."
"Deb." She shook Gomez's hand. "Isn't he a lady killer." She commented.
"Acquitted." Gomez replied.
"I can show you all my references so you know I'm not a homicidal maniac." Debbie offered.
"Of course your not." Morticia said.
"You're too young." Gomez added.
...
Up on the stairs, Wednesday, Pugsley, and (Y/n) were looking down at the scene. Wednesday and Pugsley shared a glance. (Y/n) noticed this, and wrapped her arms around Wednesday's waits. Wednesday looked down at her and smiled and kissed her head.
Up above them, Fester was also looking down at them, except his gaze was mostly focused on one particular person.
"Debbie." Fester whispered her name lovingly, and giggled to himself.
...
"Aw, is that the little critter?" Debbie gestured to the baby in Gomez's arms
"Oh no. This is our baby." Morticia corrected.
"He's adorable, he's perfect! What's his name?"
"It was agony. We went through all the books, all the usual baby names." Morticia explained.
"Lucifer."
"Benito."
"Mao."
"Then we came to our senses. Some thing simple, something a child could live with."
"Pubert." Gomez announced proudly.
"Pubert...I like it. It's filthy." Debbie chuckled. "May I?" She held her arms out for the baby
"Your dress, is it flammable?" Gomez asked.
"You've had your shots? Measles, mumps, rabies?" Morticia confirmed.
Debbie nodded and Gomez placed Pubert in her arms.
"Oh, I just adore little babies! I just wanna grab em and squeeze em til there's not a breath left in their tiny little bodies. Hello, Pubert! I love you!" She cooed.
...
In another room, Wednesday and Pugsley were holding blowtorches and were about to set a doll on fire. (Y/n) stood behind Wednesday with her head on his shoulder and her arms around his waist.
The adults entered the room and the kids turned off their blowtorches.
"Children, this is Ms. Jellinsky, our new Nanny. What do we say?" Morticia said.
"Be afraid. Be very afraid." Wednesday said.
"Look at you. All cooped up in this house with a new baby! That's not easy is it?" Debbie asked.
"No." Pugsley replied.
"Why, I bet sometimes you wish it was still just the three of you."
"Or less." Wednesday glanced over at Pugsley and pulled (Y/n) closer to him.
"Well, don't you worry. Everything's gonna be just fine." Debbie faced the parents. "I love them." She whispered.
Suddenly, Thing crawled on top of Debbie's shoulder and started bouncing.
"Thing, stop that." Morticia playfully scolded him.
"He likes you." Gomez told Debbie.
Debbie was stunned for a moment, but she then took one of Things's fingers in her mouth and sucked on it. Thing shuttered before he fell off her shoulder.
"I'm good with my hands." Debbie said suggestively.
...
Debbie Gomez and Morticia made their way back into the main foyer.
"What a wonderful family!" Debbie commented. "Although, there's one fella I haven't met yet." Debbie sees Fester hiding behind the staircase. "Hi there mister." She waved flirtatiously.
Fester ducked out of sight behind the stairs.
"Your nephew?"
"My brother."
"No!"
"Fester, come out here." Morticia told him. "He's very shy. Fester, this is Ms. Jellinsky, our new Nanny."
"Hello Fester." Debbie greeted.
Fester responded with a series of stutters.
"These Addams men, where do you find them?" Debbie asked.
"It has to be damp." Morticia said.
"I can't wait! I'll start first thing tomorrow!" Debbie announced.
Suddenly, Pubert fell into Gomez's arms from above.
"Why not tonight?" He sighed
...
Debbie laid down in her bed in her new room.
"Goodnight Debbie." Morticia said.
"Goodnight."
"Scream if you need anything."
...
Wednesday and (Y/n) were laying next to each other on Wednesday's bed. (Y/n) was curled up into his chest and Wednesday had his arm wrapped around her shoulders.
"So, your parents hired Ms. Jellinsky." (Y/n) commented.
"Mm-Hmm." Wednesday hummed.
"What do you think of her?"
"A bit too perky if you ask me." He replied. "No one is ever that perky when they encounter our family."
"You think she might have an ulterior motive?" (Y/n) wondered.
"Possibly...but we're going to need to observe her a little longer to be completely sure."
"Well, I'll do whatever I can to help you."
Wednesday looked down at her and smiled. "Thank you, ma précieuse."
Wednesday maneuvered (Y/n) so that she was laying on top of him, and pulled her into a kiss. (Y/n) moved her hands to his hair and Wednesday wrapped his arms around her waist. After a few more moments, Wednesday flipped them over and was now on top of (Y/n). He broke their kiss, and started peppering kisses on her jaw, down her neck and to her shoulder, nipping her skin in a few places.
"I love you Wednesday." She whispered in his ear.
"I love you too." He replied, his face still buried in her neck.
He finally pulled away, and laid on his side and (Y/n) cuddled into his chest.
"Good night ma précieuse." He said to her.
"Good night Wednesday."
...
Debbie was laying in her bed watching a TV show called "America's Most Disgusting Unsolved Crimes."
"Tonight on 'America's Most Disgusting Unsolved Crimes' we investigate the case of Ursula, Carmen, and Nadine."
Pictures of the three women appeared on the screen, and they all looked like Debbie, except with different hair.
"Three very different women with one thing in common...Murder! And they're all the same woman she is known by the police as a Black Widow. She mates, and she kills."
All around Debbie's room were magazine and articles about Fester and his wealth.
"She investigates wealthy men, finding the richest, loneliest bachelors, gaining their trust and their love, and finally she married them. Then, on the wedding night she kills them. The deaths appear accidental, the after the funeral she disappears, cash in hand, but the money never lasts."
On Debbie's nightstand was only a few bucks.
"And the Black Widow is hungry again. Hungry for cash, hungry for love. Mistress of disguise she has alluded the authorities for years. Who is she, and what seemingly innocent pose will she next assume?"
All along her wall were pictures of Debbie in multiple disguises.
"All we can say is, bachelors beware."
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