Porsche's POV
I sat with my phone while playing games like crazy after passing a rigorous exam all day, damn it! The questions on the test paper today were something I have never met before.
Hey! Did we study a lesson like that?
Damn, I couldn't remember anything.
My brain has gone as empty as a space, it was filled with nothing. The more I searched for answers, the more I couldn't find them. I wanted to sleep instead!
Fuck! What I got back was a radiant looking skin because I have slept all too well, it helps a lot with drinking eight glasses of water a day that adds moisture to my skin. How preposterous!
"Done with your exams already?" Kinn's voice didn't draw my attention away from the screen.
I nodded at him and continued playing the game. For about ten minutes now, I have been sitting here under the inter building benches and waiting for him. Kinn and his friends gathered around the table. He then sat beside me.
"Ugh."I flicked my face away from Kinn, who gently rubbed his finger on my cheek.
"Damn it. Someone is in control now." Time said, smiling knowingly at us. I kept my head down and continued playing the game.
Actually, I didn't want to wait, but this bastard will sulk if I don't. Dammit! He forced me, raped me even, but it seemed like I'm good at being submissive to his every whim. What a joke Porsche?
"To be in a relationship with this mafia son, he must be kept in control. Sometimes even I, couldn't take being so close to him like this." Tae said sarcastically at Time who faked ignorance.
"Eh, after the exam, where do you plan to go and celebrate?" Mew asked, I heard him, but I didn't really listen to them.
"It's a surprise. Someone invited me."Tae looked back at Mew who was confused. I glanced at him who had taken off his glasses and massaged the corners of his eyes. I continued playing my game.
"Why are you stressed out? You must have read the books religiously,until you lacked sleep for a week. You might want to relax for a bit."Time said.
"Yes! I haven't slept for a week. We study at the same university and yet I still don't know where to start reading."
"Please look at your score and Mew's score. Say it, you still hit the dotwith Kinn last night."Tae gently nudged at Time.
"Even though Kinn hit the dot, the score is still close to mine. How many subjects do you want this semester?"
Mew asked Kinn teasingly.
"And if I get the best score on subjects, is there a reward for me?"Kinn dragged his voice as he turned his head towards me, before reaching closer but I pushed him away.
"My feet!" I twitched my foot and slapped his shin under the table. I focused on the game before me, trying to win relentlessly.
"What? After so many sleepless nights, don't I deserve anything from you?"Kinn raised his hands to his chin and stared at me while I played my game.
"You're sleep deprived because you're playing games! Don't joke withme!"I turned around and snapped at Kinn who's eyes were already distracting me.
"But I'd rather you play with me!" Kinn put a hand over my head lightly.
Before I use the devil's technique to dodge him but blush regardless. This bastard is so diligent in teasing me while my attention is divided. My teammates will curse at me if I lose, and I will curse him back till death!
"Bet like last night. If you lose, one time. Okay?" Kinn, who didn't give up, moved closer to my ear and whispered softly.
"Damn it Kinn!"My hands were busy, so I used my feet to push his shins out of my body.
"Well, last night, you got hit. One. Two. Three."Kinn counted his fingers.
I want to pause from being the lead role and thebest fighter in this game to turn around and slap him with all my might.
"Kinn!" But I could only growl and squint my eyes at him in frustration.
"Ah, don't be shy. Okay, hurry up and finish that game."Kinn pulled my arm back to sit closer next to him as usual.
I grinned slightly and continued to look down.
"Damn! You are totally spoiled! Are you a mafia son as well? It's a mafia-mafia love affair." Time teased us that I glared at him immediately.
"Are you afraid of your wife?"Tae reached and pointed his fingers at Kinn's mouth that the latter brushed off immediately.
"Hmm, so, where should we go after the exam?"Kinn tried to change the subject that made his friends mock him even more.
But I looked at them fiercely and had them silent in an instant.
"Changing the subject, hmm, come on. Don't try to deny it, I'm being considerate."Tem said, then looked at me with concern.
"In conclusion, will the rooftop be good? Or a bar at my hotel?"Tae offered and I thanked him silently for cutting in.
"Honey, I want to go to Jae Yok's shop. It's fun there."Time replied to Tae's offer. Tae's face began to twitch in displeasure.
"Okay, I want a change of atmosphere."Mew agreed with Time.
"Hmm. Come to think of it, the music is good there. Well, after the exam, let's go and celebrate! Porsche can invite Tem and Jom as well."Tae concluded that the whole table agreed.
I nodded as if asking to cut off the annoyance until an unfamiliar voice was heard from behind.
"I heard it, who is going to celebrate where?" The whole table turned to look at the new comer.
I also turned around to look but damn! As soon as I saw the sweet smiling face of the young man who walked at the edge of the table, my eyes immediately narrowed.
"Oh, Nong Phim. Hello."Everyone's eyes fixated on the boy whose eyes were sparkling. I smirked upon recognition. I remember this person well.
"Where are you guys going to celebrate?"He asked brightly as I lowered my head and continued my game, trying tolook relaxed. I wonder how Kinn would react this time.
"Uh.."Suddenly, there was a deafening silence around the table. No one wants to answer.
"Well, in that case, I would like to invite all of you. After the exams, I will have a party at my condo. Are you guys interested in coming over?" I threw a glance at him before turning at Kinn who looked rather calmly.
Hmm, keep it up. Don't think that I have forgotten.
This guy was one of Kinn's exes, who I used to drive home to his condo.
"Ha ha, you guys are looking for a place to chill right?"Tae said, and then added
"Oh so sorry Khun Kinn."I saw Kinn gulped down and pretended to be surprised and looked at Phim,his face was unreadable.
"Phi, Phim bought a new condo.. Is Kinn interested?""Damn it!!"I said in a rather loud voice, but my eyes were still focused on my phone's screen.Everyone turned to look at me.
"Be careful! Look who was standing on the fortress!"I said furiously as I pretended to yell at my phone.
It was as if I wasn't payingmuch attention to the events happening in front of me.
"Ugh Khun Kinn, let's go. You don't have any plans after the exams,right? And if you do, I can reschedule it. Tell me, what day are you free?"
"Fuck! This stupid squid is too dense, or is it dumb? This bastard's facewill meet my foot soon!"I cursed out while still looking blankly on my phone.
"Don't you dare hide behind the fort. I would still be able to shoot!"I murmured in addition.
"Umm, So, what day are you free Khun Kinn?"Phim seemed to ignore my thrashing.
"Dammit! This bastard is so dumb! What a jerk!"I scolded, staring hard at the screen and began to feel real annoyance.
"This mage is absolutely useless! Fuck."I muttered under my breath.
"Huh! This game is fun, but the players are horrible!"I then moved to sit with my legs up the chair, ready to kick anytime as I gripped on my phone tightly.
"If you are interested..."Phim leaned in to Kinn and whispered something that I couldn't hear. Kinn straightened up, his muscles tensed. I didn't say anything, but I couldn't stand it anymore.
"Not yet, not yet! You still don't know what to say?! Prepare to choose how you will die!"I shouted and Kinn broke in sweat. He knows what I mean.
"Enough you bastard! I'm going to get you!! Your fort will break! And Iwill burn down your house!"Kinn took off Phim's hand and pushed him away.
"What did you say Khun Kinn? I don't understand."He said in confusion.
"Thank you for inviting me but I am not comfortable with it."Kinn politely declined.
"So when will it be convenient for Khun Kinn?"He pressed.
"I won't be convenient anyday."
"Why? But- in the past.."Phim's brows furrowed.
"Think about saving your life. Please.. please."Kinn said quickly to stop Phim from bringing back the past.
I sighed wearily. At the moment, my game was over and of course I had the most points tobecome the MVP. I put my phone down and turned to look at Kinn and his old flame.
"Khun Kinn.. why?"
"Tell him that your wife is fierce. I am having goosebumps here."Tae rubbed his arm and looked at me with eyes wide.
"Khun Kinn.."
"How long will you be calling? Kinn, you want me to just slap him down?"This time, I stared at Phim's face. He averted his eyes immediately beforestanding up in a daze.
"The game is over, isn't it?"Kinn asked me. He was sweating like a waterfall.
"I'm in a bad mood, why are you even still here?"
"N-nothing." He replied.
"Then, I will be going first. Have a good day, Khun Phi's." Ai Phim looked at me in fear and waved his goodbye to everyone on the table then turned around and ran.
Clap! Clap!
Tae stood up and clapped his hand to praise me.
"That was awesome! You're the man! I really like you, Porsche! I am your fan! And if you're free, can you please give me some lessons?"Tae grinned in admiration.
His eyes were sparkling ang his lips smiling widely. Time pulled his wife's sleeve to bring him back to sit.
"I just played games. I haven't done anything yet."I shrugged my shoulders.
"Oh? You curse people in the game?"Kinn raised his arm around my neck and pulled me into a tight hug.
"Ugh! You idiot."I snapped at Kinn.
"You really curse people in the game?!"Kinn raised his eyebrow at me.
"I cursed you!"Kinn grinned and pinched the tip of my nose lightly.
Tap, Tap!
Time slapped the table rhythmically as if we were brawling in a wrestling match, then laughed out loud. Isn't this a group of elites? Why do they act so funny like a bunch of idiots? Kinn waited for Mew's research papers for a while before we all parted ways to go home.
On the way, while Kinn was driving, he asked me about the exam. I told him with enthusiasm not the content of the paper but all the dreams I had when I was in the exam room.
"In my dreams, it's very realistic. I walked in the woods and picked up asniper and shot it. The enemies were all dead. Cool right?"
"So, you fell asleep?"
"Yes."
"Ugh.."Kinn sighed in exhaustion. I frowned immediately.
"When will I get time to review? You always invite me to do nonsense things. And at night... you bother me too. I'm sleepy."I said softly as I bit my lips tightly. .
If Kinn had given me some private timeat night, this semester would be pretty easy. Now that I think about it, I'm stilll ucky I haven't gotten an F yet!
"The traffic is really heavy."Kinn cursed softly. During the evening, we must be stuck in the traffic. I told him we could use the motorcycle instead, but he didn't believe me. Look at this now? It's like sitting and watching until the cars cramped up ahead of us.
I adjusted the cushion on my seat before slowly closing my eyes. The cold air hits my face,plus the warm stroking of Kinn's hand on my hair back and forth. I felt so comfortable that I didn't notice I fell asleep almost immediately. Fighting Kinn! Sweet dreams to me......
"Are we there yet? Why didn't you wake me up."I sighed in silence, too lazy to wake up and slowly brushed my eyes. The skyhad begun to turn blue. It was the perfect time to sleep comfortably so I planned to go up the room immediately, but Kinn sat still on the steering wheel. His hands were gripped tightly on it and were staring at the guards on the lawn who were walking around.
In the past two days, Kinn has been stumped like that often. It's like his brain has stopped functioning and was ina momentary shock. I didn't know what was going on or what was on hismind but when I asked, I got the same answer.
"Kinn! Kinn! What is wrong?"I shook his arm to get his attention.
"Huh, I seem to have forgotten something."
Kinn looked at me and turned to look forward as usual.
"What was it?"I began to get annoyed at his expression when he said that. No matter howmany times I ask, he always says the same answer. Damn! What the fuck did you forget?!
"Huh.."Kinn sighed. I kept my arms crossed, watching his incomprehensible behavior.
"Why? What did you forget? Or is it that you can't forget someone?"I furrowed in displeasure. It happens so often that I don't know what to think.
"Ehh... come on, it's not something like that. I just..."
"Don't ever think that I am here with you because I am willing to gethurt. If you do that to me again, I have my friends behind me. I havePete, Arm and Pol. They will come and beat you. So better watch your actions!"
"Hey!!!" He said hoarsely.
Honestly, I am getting frustrated at how Kinn's brain functions, so I am overthinking. But before I even finished speaking, Kinn opened his eyes wideand let out a loud cry.
"What is it?"I asked in shock as he suddenly cursed out loud.
"Pete!! I figured it out! Shit! It's Pete!" Kinn yelled with worry in his face like I have never seen before. Heimmediately grabbed his phone, which confused me.
"Wait a minute, why Pete? Hey, come to think of it, I haven't seen him in days, Kinn! Where is Pete?"I lowered my voice and stared at him dead in the eye.
"Fuck! Well, there were problems at home, about you, about KhunTawan, Big, the bastard Vegas and then the exams. I really didn't mean to forget! Damn!"Kinn turned to his phone and searched for someone in panic.
Knock Knock..
The sound of knocking on the car's window stopped Kinn. He lowered thewindow and the sound of his older brother intervened.
"What are you guys doing in the car? Hmm...of course, change of atmosphere, eh?"The ding dong grinned mischievously that I wanted to kick his head and wipeoff that smile on his face.
"What do you want?"Kinn leaned over to avoid the bastard from coming in through the window.
"Huh, where are you guys going? Bring me along."He said as he let out a huge sigh.
"What the hell, we just got back from school." I replied calmly. After that embarrassing day on the balcony, I didn't have the face to talk to him because of his crazy mouth.
"Oh, I'm so lonely that I think I'm going to die. All of my favorite guards are on vacation and have gone to their provinces. I won't see them until next week, damn it!"The bastard placed both of his arms against the edge of the window and puthis chin on his hand.
"Oh! And then, P..."Before Kinn could finish his sentence, Khun butt in again.
"Each one of them! Leaving me alone in this wide world. I'll say good bye at once!"
"Including I.."
"Yes! Everyone went home. Dammit. Kim let me play with Anon but he's no fun at all. The idiot couldn't talk without trembling!"
"Bodyguards that mean including those..."
"Oh, that's all... If you guys go out to have fun, don't forget to invite metoo."He said before pulling out of the car. Khun immediately turned around and walked back to the main house. I'm in awe instead.
Kinn was speechless, he never got to finish his sentence. He seemed like he had grown ill mannered. It's like he just came, cut off the speech and left, damn asshole!
"Wow, that cleared it all. I realized that I forgot something. Damn Pete!He must be very tired. He must have gone home to rest."Kinn seemed to be a bit relieved and leaned his back against the seat with hiseyes closed.
"How could you? Of all the things that you could forget, Pete? Really?!"I said in disbelief.
That he was thinking about whatever that he had forgotten for days, and it turned out to be Pete. At first, I thought the quiet atmosphere in the house was because of the things that happened regarding Big, but where has my friend disappeared to?
"Fuck! I'm careless! But because Pete has been with you too, he comesand stays back and forth in two places, so I got confused."
"What did you ask him to do? Your people are not robots!
"By this time, he must have returned home comfortably. But he never told me that his job was done. It's good that now I know."Kinn tilted his head and rolled his eyes at me before reaching out to gentlycaress my cheek, but I brushed it off.
"How can you be sure Pete is back home?"
"Well, his work was successful. Probably went home without informing me...that's what it is. But since you mentioned it, I think I better call and check."Kinn, then again picked up his phone.
Pressed the contact's name of Pete and pressed call. He didn't forget to turn on the speaker for me to listen.
"The number you have dialed is unattended. Please try your call later."
"See? He's really home."Kinn pointed at the phone.
"Are you stupid? There's no signal on his phone! Stop messing around."
"Well, the thing is, Pete's house is on the island. There's no signal everytime he goes home. This is normal."Kinn pointed out with conviction. Until I let out a relieved sigh. Kinn must have been working him out so hard that he must have passed out in bedsomewhere to relax in his home.
"Oh, okay. So that's it.""Let's go inside."I followed Kinn into the house, feeling much relieved that no one was hurt.
Big's men were also dealt with accordingly. Some resigned and some fled with their heads down. I sympathize with them. At least, every action has a reason. It was necessity and greed that took overtheir minds. Even though Kinn comforted me every time someone dies,damn! I'm not cold that blooded.
Sometimes I thought that what if one day I also made a mistake? Will they kill me? Because the Mafia family was brutal!After finishing dinner, I went to the bathroom to run some personal errands. Showered, washed myself until I was comfortable, and tried to meditate so Icould go back and review my notes again. While I was brushing my teeth, I picked up the phone and chatted on Facebook with Tem and Jom.
JOM: When will the exam be over?? Stressed!
Jom posted a Facebook status to describe his frustration and I knew how stressful the exam was but even if he felt like that, he would always invite mefor a game.
COMMENT:
TEM: Just one more day my friend!! We'll hug your neck through the checkpoint! Let's pass the exam together.
JOM: Fuck! I will surely read my books.
TEM: Amen.
JOM: After the exam, I will get drunk. Let the dog call you dad!
TEM: Oh, what a poor dog.
PORSCHE: +1 Tem JOM:
Phew! Which place to go? Please specify the location to give meencouragement for the exam!
TEM: It's good to drink alcohol after the exam is over for Porsche's birthday. Jay Yok's shop will be fine. Let's finish it.
JOM: Deal
PORSCHE: Have you asked me yet?
JOM: You should have typed, "Ask your daddy yet?"
PORSCHE: Asshole!
TEM: That's right, give your friends some time.I pressed the lock screen and turned to focus on brushing my teeth. These bastards are just trying to get drunk with their heads up front. It's like every year I don't give much importance to my birthday because I must work. The last time I blew a cake was when my parents were still alive, which was long ago. Even though I received some cards and a few presents,
I saw it as just an ordinary day. I walked out to the office where Kinn stared at the computer screen. Both eyebrows are tightly knitted together. As soon as his eyes glanced at me, heflinched slightly.
"What are you doing? Watching porn?"I teased as I narrowed my eyes.
"No, why would I, when I could watch it live by myself?"Kinn adjusted his stressed expression to smile at me.
So, I put up my middle finger at him. This squid is annoying. I went straight to collect the book that was on the sofa. I held it in both hands and walked back to get out of the room.
"Where are you going?"
"I will go read the book downstairs."
"Why don't you read here?"
"There is a lot of temptation in this room, and you might do something!"I closed the door and walked down the hall of the house, lay flat on the sofa,and began to read page by page, without anyone disturbing me.
It's good that Khun Korn hasn't been back from abroad for days now, otherwise, I wouldn't be brazen enough to lay in the living room like this. I still feel awkward around him even though he said that I am like a son to him. He seemed to really care for me and my brother Porsche', thatsometimes I couldn't help but be surprised. Everyone takes time to adapt.
Kinn took me back and Che' to our old house to get some belongings and we have stayed here since. It's quite difficult to adjust into a new environment as being in this situation, I don't have to do any work now. Kinn said that just staying by his side and being his emotional support is enough.
But I am not very comfortable with that. I know I demanded Kinn about this but to come to sleep and just stroll around the house is not my thing. I helped Kinn on documents like before as much as I could.I couldn't deny to myself any longer that I can live without Kinn because I cannot.He affected my life in all aspects of it. When I wake up, when I study, when I eat or even before I sleep.
His face was constantly on my mind. Those times when I tried to convince myself that I could live without him, that was themost painful moment of my life. I couldn't resist him anymore. I always want him next to me. He said that he wanted me to be by his side as well. Eventhough in my point of view, I forgave him too easily.
I wanted to prove ifeverything he promised was true. I didn't have to ask for anything else. He really did live up to his words of restoring my trust and feelings for him and even more. This time, I couldn't say I am one hundred percent sure yet, I have no idea how I should behave in order to fit the second son of the main family.
I could accept the part that I love him, but to be the person standing beside him through social status, I don't think that would be easy. The people around us may accept it easily but in the future, we will meet new people and I really don't know how hard I should try to fit in. I will let time do it's bidding.The words and letters in front of me were like scribbles of black and whitethat I couldn't read anymore until my vision became blurry as sleepiness took over.
My eyelids failed me and began to close, given the fact that I have less sleep this week. I have an exam tomorrow! I need to study or else I would fail; I have very low grades this week, so I need to stock up some knowledgeinto my brain. I could only hope I won't be eating an F.
"Porsche, let's go to bed."I didn't know when I fell asleep. I just realized that I did when Kinn came to fetch me. I dropped everything and forgot about the exam before following him towards the room.
When I touched the soft bed, I fell into a deep sleep and didn't know anything after that.......Exams are getting more and more intense every day. It was fierce as if we were in a fire pit. I felt like I was being burned to death as soon as I saw the examination paper, I almost cremated myself with the pile of books and lesson papers as fuel.
Damn it! I have been studying for a long time and I just realized that I'm stupid. The questions in the questionnaire made me dizzy even though it was written in Thai. Why couldn't I understand a thing? Kinn seemed busy these days and looked more stressed than usual.
Probably because he needs to memorize his parts in English and the latest exam wasn't a multiple choice. It's completely subjective. I saw him reading a book very late at night and I felt pity for him. All I could do was say goodnight in my heart and fall asleep with my own stacks of books almost every night.
But there was something bothering me. He started to act sneaky. Talking tot he phone and smiling unconsciously. I begin to panic slightly but I must castigate myself. Being alone to manage the business without his father here,he must have a lot of stress, I must not add up to his burden.
"Would you like me to help?"I saw him looking very tired after days of having to manage the business andexams. Tomorrow is the last day of the exam and it will be the most difficult subject with the most credit scores.
So, I said I would allow him to talk to customers in the evening as I help with the documents.
"It's okay, stay there and study."
Kinn will leave me alone during the evening for days now. I have been eating with Khun, Kim and Che' at the dinner table without him.I don't know why the company is so busy these days. Then he will return tothe room at almost five in the morning.
Sometimes it was midnight until Icouldn't believe it anymore. It's not like he's doing something wrong though, it's just that trust is not easy to rebuild.
Ring Ring..
Kinn's phone rang. He looked at the screen and squinted his eyes at me for abit before turning around and answering the call from a distance. Damn! He behaves unusually more and more each day. Or did he get tired of me again?
"Go in first. I should be back later tonight so don't wait for me."Kinn walked up to me and said after hanging up.
"I usually sleep first anyway. Don't sound as if I will be waiting for you."I snapped at him.
I will sleep when I'm sleepy, I will eat when I'm hungry.Why would I wait?Kinn smiled at me and reached out to tousle my hair, but I dodged quickly.
"Wherever you are going, hurry up."I said hurriedly. Kinn smiled slightly and shook his head before he walkedout of the house.Oh?! He really went out?I couldn't stand it anymore. I walked frantically around the room.
I don't want to act narrow minded, but if people are always together, we tend to noticeeven the slight change.
Fuck Kinn! You definitely have someone else! Don't expect your luck toomuch!Even though I forgave you easily, your chances are not unlimited, remember that bastard!He has a choice whoever he wants to be with. I'm even surprised that he chose me, but I guess he was still undecided until now.
The answer was becoming more and more clear! If there was anyone, it's his right. As for what I was doing today, I always ask myself, is it worth it? Can I do it or not? But I often do it and express how I felt for him. I forgot that he never gave me a clear status as to what I am inhis life.
Another thing that was left unresolved and it made me feel uneasy around the house, was that I still don't know what exactly I came in, as apartner? A mate? A person to be by his side forever? These thoughts are rotten! I think I'm going to puke!All this time, I was always thinking about this, but I couldn't say it.
The words flood my mouth. Did he just charmed me to be his emotional slave?? Bastard!I haven't even stayed here for a week and he's back to his old self again? This love story was really complicated. Then, will Kinn return to being a player? Ithought about it deeply.
There was a saying in school. Like a candle in therain, the lights will be put out. It's as dark as my life right now. I'm a sucker at love, not even a master at studying.
I don't even know anything about both! Let's just aim for a good life in a good way, nah?! Please!! I shook every thought out of my head and started reading again. Got it! I haveread this line three times already. What does that mean? I am bad at questionsin Thai, if it were English, I would be down the abyss. Aug. 22, 2020
"You will finish your exam this morning, right?" I nodded. His hands were buttoning his student's uniform.
"I will start my exams at noon, and will be finished this afternoon. So today, take my car. I'll take another one." Kinn put the keys of his favorite BMW on the table.
I picked up my backpack and put it on my shoulder. Turned out of the room without even looking back at him
"I can go by myself!"I said with a frown.
Last night, I slept at around one o'clock in the morning, but Kinn wasn't even back yet. And this morning, I woke up to his phone ringing. I was so startled to receive the call. That was unimaginable!
Fuck Kinn! It's not funny anymore! Why don't you pay attention to me? Is ignoring me somuch fun to do?I really hate it when I'm being manipulated like this. I felt stupid!!
"I can't believe him!"I squeezed a can of soda in my hand until it crumpled in my hand.
"Calm down."Tem rubbed my shoulders to comfort me.
After finishing the exam, I came todrop by at his dormitory. It felt like a déjà vu. I don't want to go back to thathouse again.
"I hate him! I'm going back to my house!"I said with disgust in my tongue.
"Here you go again, I can't help you carry your stuff."He said smiling.
"Think about it, would you let me live in that house without knowing mystatus? His dad said he treat me as his own child. Share everything withme."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I have no idea about that."Tem cursed at me who seemed to think hard.
"Then I think these days... damn it! I don't know where he's going. He's returning home late at night like a sneaky bastard. If he would do that tome again, why did he bother to chase after me?"I opened a new bottle of soft drink and drank it.
I don't know if it was the carbonated drink or the sugar in it that's making me rant so much.
"Did you ask him directly?"Tem's brows furrowed and sat anxiously watching me.
"How could I ask? I don't even know what is wrong between us, thedamn bastard has been doing me countless times that if I was a girl, I'dalready be pregnant. Idiot!"
"Oh right, but for things like this, if they don't say it. You have to ask."
"I have my dignity. He doesn't have to say it if he doesn't want to!" I slammed the can on the ground so hard that the contents spurted out.
"No, he loves you very much."
"No, he's just pretending. It's just an illusion. People like him never really loved anyone! He's evil! Piece of shit!"
"Eh.. You are always like that! Bad-mouthed, not even a little sweet. Kinn probably wants to talk but weighs in because he's afraid you'll kickhis mouth." Tem scratched his head and I saw extreme exhaustion registered on his face.
"Well, I have always been like this!"I turned around and stared at him.
"No. I mean, yes it's likely to be you. But try to reduce the sourness a bit. My friend, I saw you saying that Kinn likes sweet and cute? Is that right?" He came closer to me.
"Yes! He can go and get someone like that!"
"Are you sure you won't regret it?" Tem narrowed his eyes on me.
"Oh damn!" I started to feel mad. Thinking about it, I have never received a message today. No pinging of the line even though he probably knew that I left thehouse by taxi.
The bastard didn't care for my well being! Damn Porsche, why would someone like him take interest in a person like you?
"Or I think you should try adjusting? Change a little bit?"
"Change what?"
"My destiny. He he"He said laughing and I immediately glared at him.
"I'm kidding. I mean, why don't you change to something a little sweeter and less brutal? Add some cuteness, something like that. Let's start by dressing you up!" The bastard pinched my cheeks in awe.
"Why? What's wrong with my fashion?"I looked down on my body.
I changed my school uniform into a t-shirt and sweatpants that I left in Tem's room last time.
"It's not bad, but if you hold a club, you definitely look like a gangster inthe alley. He he."
"Gangster my feet!" I put my feet up in front of the bastard but he's quick to dodge.
"Oh, come here."Tem dragged me in front of the mirror and walked around me in circles,staring from head to toe.
"It won't be easy. Where's your cuteness my friend? Come! Let's change you a bit to keep what's going between you and Kinn, out of your mind."He said as he dodged another kick from me.
"Watch your mouth! Why would I change? If he can't accept me as Iam, it's his mother fucking business!"
"No! Porsche, think of it as wanting to change for yourself, not for anyone else. Think about this, you are turning your back on him now,then you suddenly appear looking cute and all, he will bleed to death in regret!" I ponder on what Tem has said.
He was quite right about that. Kinn has donethis twice already, I won't let him humiliate me. I will show him that he didn'tchoose me, it was me who choose him.
"W-What should I do?"
"Wait a minute, I'll arrange it for you, my friend!" Tem dragged me out of the dorm and drove straight to a luxury mall packedwith famous brand names.
As soon as my feet landed on the ground, I had an idea.
"It's good that you brought me here. Before I turn my back on Kinn, I will destroy him. Let's run out his wealth! What do you say?" I took the credit card that Kinn put in my pocket.
It's an unlimited credit card. Now, you will see how I take my revenge on whoever hurt me! I'll squander every penny in your bank! I'll leave you broke!
"Very good my friend. Use it to the fullest! I support you!" He clapped his hands in admiration.
Every time he leads me into a luxury shop and picks each piece of clothing and swipes the credit card, I feel a sense of excitement. A person like me won't come out empty handed. How many times have you taken me for granted? Let's see who's the loser now!"Good! You're almost at a hundred thousand. Hmm, can you fly when you wear it?
"I flipped the shirt I am wearing, and I was amazed at how expensive it was. Ihad goosebumps.How many lives do I have to work in Jae Yok's shop before I get a pair of pants?" It's so good! As if it calls for your name. It suits you! Now, don't think too much, the credit card is not ours.
Damn, I bought everything until my hands were full. The feeling of being athief felt nostalgic. After tricking Kinn into selling his watch, I felt giddy too like an evil person, but it felt good
"Wow!! Tem... Hey Porsche. Why are you here?" I glanced at Tae and Time.
I couldn't help but roam my eyes around in caseKinn had known my location and decided to get the credit card back, I won'tgive it!
"We come to offer food to the monks."I said indifferently after making sure that it was only the two of them present.
"This kind of tongue skill made us sure that it was the real Porsche. Then, why are you here?"Tae still didn't stop asking the strange question.
"Why, can't a person like me be anywhere? Are you drunk?"I said and handed the shirt to the staff to pay for it.
"I'm dizzy, what do I choose?"
"Whoa good question. You and Tem haven't changed your clothes yet, itwill be a while before...."Tae got smacked immediately by Time's hand to cover his mouth. I slightly glanced at them. What is wrong with them?Today I'm not in the best mood.
Jom hurried back to sleep at his house with the reason that tonight we have an appointment at Jae Yok's shop. Let's see if I can't get laid tonight. This body will get the eyes of every woman or man in the bar! Damn! I have a headache already.
"Ugh, Porsche, didn't you buy too much? Kinn will know about it."Time released his hand from Tae's mouth and pointed at the sofa where weput the stacks of bags together.
"Mind your own business! Ai Tem, which one?"I held up two shirts in front of Tem. He was quite stunned and unconsciously looking at me.
"Hmm.."
"Which one of these two?"He pointed at a shirt. His face looked lethargic.
"Oh, the color is awesome, this one is really sassy. I don't dare wear it."
"So, this one?"He pointed at the other shirt in my hand.
"Wait a minute!"I said as I hung up the two shirts in frustration.
I could understand now why women who are stressed liked to go shopping. It really helps. I forgot about my anger for a moment because I had to focus on the things in front of me. And the more expensive things are, I could say that I was almost healed untilI forget that I'm mad at Kinn.
"What's wrong with you? Are you sick?"Tae put his hands on Tem's forehead, and my friend immediately backed one step away.
"Nevermind, just a little tired."
"Ugh, okay. If you are choosing clothes like this, better ask the fashionGuru. Come, I'll take you to another shop. I'm sure Kinn will like it forsure."
"Let them go alone, we have errands to do."
"Quiet. If you are in a hurry, go first. But don't let me know that youmeet with that bastard."
When he finished cursing his husband, Tae pulled mine and Tem's armtowards the next store.
"Damn it!!"Time cursed and slapped his head in irritation.
The whole time, he lookedlike he was in pain. As for Tae, he took everything for Time to carry all the shopping bags. He took me from one shop to another. I felt spoiled. I have fun.
The other's legs were already dragging. He forced me to change into a t-shirt inside an oversized shirt with matching pants plus expensive shoes that cost a hundred thousand. There were jewelry as well such as rings and necklaces. Oh, my I still couldn't figure out how I could walk outside.
Most importantly, he took me to a salon for a new haircut. Then styled it so neatly that I could hardly recognize myself in the mirror. But when I realized it, I can carry a cute style too. Not just the normal cute. I am so cute that my heart is dancing!
"It's so good! Go home wearing that."Tae looked at me with twinkling eyes. I was embarrassed by the eyes of thepeople around me.
I actually wore branded clothes and looked powerful but I'm terribly uncomfortable with the situation.
"Let's go back Porsche, it's evening. I'll send you home soon."Tem took the shopping bag from Time's hand and held on to it.
I helped him carry some of it. If I auction all these later, I'll probably be rich.
"Whose house?"I asked, annoyed.
"Well, Kinn's home?"He smiled dryly.
"Let's go to Jay Yok's shop. By now, the idiot has gone back from his busy day. Let's leave the stuff in your car first."
"No!" The three of them said in unison.
I turned to look at them in disbelief.
"Let's leave the things at home. I will be able to breathe in easily without worrying about anything. These are expensive things."
"You want me to go home, I don't want to step in there."I said angrily.
I really forgot about Kinn for a moment, but now that I thought about him, I'm irritated again.
"Well, alright."I saw Tae poke him which made Tem twitch. It's not just Kinn who we reacting weird, these three too! What the fuck? They looked meaningfully at each other, which made me annoyed.
"Oh, let's go back and pick him up, okay? He would also like to join at Jae Yok's shop. You can Line him, and one more thing.."Tem looked as if he was thinking about something while he walked around me.
"I think you have to let Kinn see the new you. A new reborn Porsche. Let him see that you are not the same Porsche again who will be sad for him. I think, seeing you as cute as this, he would most likely drop on his knees and beg you not to go. But it would be useless since you made up your mind. Go, show it to him. Show him that a person like you could have your own choice, and the option is not him anymore."Tem stood closer, his eyes squinting full of hope.
I stood still and thought fora moment. Actually, his idea makes perfect sense. I told you, your chance was gone!From now on there won't be the same Porsche anymore!
"Okay okay!"I nodded in agreement to my best friend's offer.
Tae and Time waved usgoodbye smiling widely. We parted ways from the mall and on the way, I slowly held back my anger. Resentment was in my heart to accumulate moreand more. Tem gave me a thumbs up and I don't know what he was so happy about that he kept that wide smile on his face. Why are the people around me so weird today?
I believe that if Kinn sees you, his heart will tremble.Huh! I really wantto see his reaction when he sees you like this. You don't have to worrymy friend. I will be by your side.
"Let's hold hands and walk shoulder to shoulder together. Believe me, everything will be okay. I will protect you." He turned to look at me fiercely.
"Yeah I know. You call Jom as well. Just in case he went to the shop first and waited for us."
"Um, I'll take care of it myself."
"I better call Che'. Let him prepare."
"Hey, where are you?"
[Huh..Hey! What's up..you sound good...don't touch it! Oww!! Left left!] A high-pitched roar was so loud that I could barely hear him.
"Where are you? Huh?"I covered one ear so I could hear him clearly.
[Ban.. Ban, What's going on?"]I'm a bit surprised that he was at home. I thought he was at the market or a temple, it's terribly loud.
"Okay, get ready, I will pick you up."
[Ahh, umm, how many minutes until... messed up.. already messed up..you bastard!!]
"What is that sound?"
[How many minutes until you get home?!!] Che' shouted back.
"About ten minutes. Get dressed and wait for me. I will just take out all these shopping bags."
"Oh, okay. Is that all?"He suddenly ended the call and I looked at my phone in disbelief. What's wrong with him! Damn. I started to feel something wasn't right. The people around me seemed like to be on drugs. Silly things were going on around me.
Tem acted suspicious. Every time we stop at a red light, he's messaging someone on Line that I don't have any idea who.It's really weird. But then I picked up my phone and looked at it. Greetings of happy birthdays from my friends and my faculty were there.
But Damn Kinn!He's been gone all day!Don't expect me to send you a message when you don't even have a plan to call me at all! I just found myself thinking a little more stupid every second.
Who knows something like this would happen? An event where I always wanted Kinn's attention. His time and more.Sigh! I will make my heart hate you! Just wait and see!!
"Why is the house so quiet?"When I got out of the car, the whole house was silent. And just now, I called Che' and I know that he's home with a riot around like a marketplace, whatwas that?
"Where is everyone?"The bodyguards who were always parading around were nowhere to be seen. It's all silent as if the house was uninhabited. But there was a light flashing on the lawn.
I narrowed my eyes at their regularity, my senses alert and walked slowly without hesitation.Tem ran after me in a hurry. A giggle was heard from behind. And when I stepped on to the destination, it wasn't until I could see everything clearly,that paper confetti shots with lights and people's voices echoed through out.
"Happy Birthday!!!"I closed my eyes, fending off the long piece of paper that directed towards me.
My head was completely smeared with confetti and my brain seemed to freeze momentarily. Someone's hand wrapped around my waist from behind with a chin landing on my shoulder and whispered to me in a sweet voice.
"Happy birthday Babe."A pressure was placed on the side of my cheek and took a deep breath to fill his lungs. I tilted my head to look at Kinn who smiled broadly and hugged me tightly.
"What the hell are you playing at?"I turned myself away in shock as I looked around. Both Kim, Che' Jom,Mew, Tae and Time were all gathered.
They gave me a big smile with mocking gazes that Kinn was still hugging my waist loosely.
"What the hell is this?"I turned around and yelled at Kinn with a frown.
Even my brain stopped functioning and there's a feeling of giddiness deep in my heart.
"You, don't get mad at Kinn. He looked busy and came back home because he has a plan to surprise you. He did it all by himself, the food selection, preparations and he's extremely dedicated."Tem said. I couldn't believe a while ago he was saying the opposite about this bastard.
"And don't look at me like that. All I did was because Kinn ordered me to do it."Tem pointed to Kinn who gave me a dry smile as he brushed off a piece of paper from his head and along my body.
"You're playing too big!"I punched him in the stomach lightly. Since I was born, no one has done anything like this to me.
My birthday party which I couldn't even remember without a notification from Facebook, and I almost forgot.
"I give it a bit of a compromise. But yeah, I really played a big role. The messages just won't stop bouncing into my phone."I held back my laughter.
The anger that had been there for a couple of days gradually faded away little by little. Damn, When I think about it, I'm speechless. Kinn pulled me into a hug and gently stroked my head.
"I don't have anyone else, I'm not tired of you. I'm always thinking about what to do for your birthday. I'm sorry if I made you overthink." Kinn kissed my temple lightly.
Damn it!! He went doing this and that, what else for me to say? I buried my face tightlyagainst his shoulder. Not even a glimpse of anger was left. Not a speck of frustration. I almost lost myself too. It made me smile, to say I was overwhelmed was an understatement.
"Alright, it's a birthday party, not a wedding. I, the owner of the famous chocolate factory, would like to give a basket of Mr. TK as a birthday present to you."I turned to receive a basket of delicious chocolates from Khun who looked bored. I didn't think I would get so invested in these. Damn! I ate until I thought I had diabetes.
"Thank you."
"Hiaa, happy birthday. I wish you happiness. Think whatever you wish,I have nothing to give but all the love in my heart. Ouch!" Che' spread his arms, pretending to hug me but I pushed his head off and gently threw him down.
"Next gift."I said smiling.
"Oh, happy birthday my friend."Jom threw a silly card with a cartoon scribbled happy birthday over to me.
Sigh! Couldn't he be more creative?!
"Happy birthday sister-in-law, I mean brother-in-law, no. Ugh forget it.Your brother and I chose this, but I paid for it. Consider this as a thankyou gift. Happy birthday."Kim handed me a silver box stamped with a famous luxury brand then followed by many others.
Everyone bought a gift for me including Tem.
"I saw you standing there and holding it for a long time, but you didn't buy it. So, I bought it for you. Happy birthday."He handed me a box of glasses. If I tell him the truth, will he get hurt?Those glasses have a very weird shape. I looked at it because I laughed inside, but since he bought it, I was thankful of course.
"Thank you so much. Thank you for everything."
"Ugh, I'm a good friend."And then a weird static sound turned on and my brows furrowed for a moment before music was heard throughout the lawn.
"Why did you turn on the New year's blessing song? I told you to turn on a happy birthday song!"Kinn yelled at Khun.
"Calm down, I'm confused! None of my men are here so I made it myselffrom the soundtracks to the audio and setting up the audio system! Alittle bit more and I could work as a sound technician now! You bastard!"Khun yelled back.
It was such a chaos that I couldn't hold back any longer. My mouth widened with a smile of happiness, the gathering, the family and the fun that I haven't experienced for a long time. It filled my mind until itwas almost overflowing.
"You can drink first. As I get this music prepared, god! I'm sloppy."Khun said.
Jom and everyone rushed towards the liquor table. The bodyguards in the house also joined in the fun. Now the Garden looks like Jae Yok's shop. The songs playing are the same as the ones in the shop too. But it would be better if Pete, Arm and Pol are here.
I don't know why I miss Pete so much, I can't wait till he comes back from his province.
"If Pete was here, it would be perfect."I said as I thought, turning to look at Kinn.
"Well, let him rest. A few days later, they will be back here. You cantake him to the shop and treat him."
"Hmm, I want to see him soon."I said as I drank some expensive liquor. After a while, Khun started getting drunk and doing some weird dance moves that I felt terribly embarrassed for him. The deeper the night gets, the more everyone loosened up including Kinn's friends.
They scolded Khun for playing too much cha cha song at first but later, we all started to dance along with it. I withdrew from the party to take my gifts and all the things I bought from the mall up to our room. Then go to the bathroom to wash my face to feel better.
I was starting to feel dizzy as well. As soon as I regained my consciousness, I walked out onto the balcony and opened the curtains to look at the fun that was happening down below. I couldn't help but smile. I haven't had a moment like this in a long time. Since my father and mother passed away.
A broad smile that was barely seen on me all day, tears up on my face. Even though I am not used to the grand gift that Kinn gave me, it made my blood pump. I saw my younger brother enjoying the surroundings and I wanted to thank Kinn a hundred times, no, a thousand times for making the most important person to me happy.
We are no longer alone in our own world. At least here, there are people who added colors to our lives that made my heart melt. In a blink of an eye, our destiny changed, and the darkness has now faded. I hope that this will last for a long time.I was so invested in watching when suddenly...
"Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to you.. Happy birthday,happy birthday... Happy birthday to you." I turned to look at Kinn, smiling. He was carrying a small but beautifully decorated cake.
There are three long candle sticks. Fortunately, the whole room was completely dark because I didn't turn it on. There was only the light coming from the balcony that made me see the brightness of the flameclearly.
"Hey, what are you doing?"I asked jokingly as Kinn stood in front of me and handed me the cake to blow.
"I did it myself. I went to baking school for several days, trying to do it for you." Kinn said and he grinned widely.
"Oh, when you come home late, you're making a cake?"Kinn nodded so I teased him more.
"This is a huge celebration, it's good that you study management, if youstudy supervision, I will think you are rehearsing for me."
I said and looked into Kinn's eyes. I mean the business supervision.
"Well, I'm still around. But in time, you and Kim don't have much timeto practice. You will be going to help me manage the business."
"What a pity, but let's say, I appreciate this."I said dismissively.
"Make a wish quickly... ask whatever you want."Kinn held the cake closer to me.
I looked at the cake with mixed emotions. Since growing up, I've never worked on my own birthday. I couldn't even remember the last time I blew a cake. But today, Kinn made the memory clearer. The warmth of seeing my parents bring the cake in wasn't different from Kinn's presence in front of me. It was so warm and safe that I bit my lip tightly to suppress the nostalgia of my past.
"I wish... to make Che' happy and smile like this forever."I said out loud for Kinn to hear. He nodded in acknowledgement before I blew out all the candles on the cake. Kinn put the cake on the table and turned around then pulled me into a tight hug. I embraced him instantly aswell.
"Thank you."I murmured.
"Uhm, I'm willing to do anything for you Porsche. And, before anything else, I have something to tell you." Kinn whispered in my ear softly.
"What?" I said and muffled into his embrace.
"Today, you dressed up so cute. Your outfit fits you well. It's so cute that my heart almost hurts."Kinn hugged me tighter than before.
"Huh."My laughter got stuck in my throat. Kinn started to nibble at my ear as his hands caressed the length of my back.
"No matter how cute the dress you are wearing, I'd rather have you wearing nothing else."I clenched my fists and smashed Kinn's back.
"Pervert!"
"Hehe... What would you like as a present? I haven't given you anythingyet. I'll let you choose one."Kinn said and shoved his nose at the crook of my neck.
"No more, that's enough for me."
"Not really."Kinn grabbed my shoulder and pushed me slightly away from him then gazed at my face.
"Yes, I don't want anything else. That was enough."I nodded, repeating my answer.
"But I'll give you something."Kinn picked something out of his pant's pocket. I stared at his actions with suspicion.
"Give me your hand."I followed as I slowly extended my left hand in front of him. The inside of my heart was pounding uncontrollably.
All of a sudden, I felt excited. Everything that concerns Kinn affects my feelings. Kinn produced a white leather strap with his name engraved on it and put iton my wrist.
His breath hitched as if he was suppressing his own excitement.
Then he picked up another black leather strap to wrap around his own wrist. It has my name engraved in it too.
"Porsche, I love you. Have I told you that?"Kinn's eyes were obviously nervous.
Sweat began to seep down the frame ofhis face. Me too. Both the pressure and the excitement, but it was drowned by the overwhelming happiness.
"Um"
"But there are some things that were left unsaid yet."In situations like this, I knew that Kinn was starting to lose himself.
It started to feel awkward. His hand reached out and touched my hand lightly. And that made me realize that he was excited as much as I from the evident coldness of his palm.
"Fuck! I'm excited!"Kinn took a deep breath and started to say the words that made my heart flutter and almost stopped breathing.
"Porsche, be my boyfriend."I bit my lip tightly and immediately closed my eyes.
"..."
"Speak up. Say something"Kinn said after a while.
"I...Fuck!"I said slowly.
"Huh?" Kinn raised his eyebrows suspiciously.
"I have a dog's mouth. I'm rude, I'm impatient... I'm not good at holding back my emotions.. Stupid, unreasonable. Wild and impulsive. I'm notcute and sweet at all. Will you still accept me?" I asked just to be sure. Honestly, this was something I was looking forward to getting a sense of clarity. But if you think about it, am I really worthy of the person in front of me?
"Be my boyfriend. Be together like this forever... let's take care of each other. Let's quarrel then stay together some more. We can keep arguing and it's fine."Kinn squeezed my hand tightly.
I turned around and stared at him seriously. Kinn's nervousness faded and was replaced by a firm and serious one.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm already yours, Porsche."
"..."
I paused for a moment then said slowly and clearly.
"Okay."Kinn grinned from ear to ear and pulled my hand in for a light kiss.
The smooth and gentle teasing squealed and squeezed my lips with humility, I could feel the warmth and sincerity that Kinn had to offer.
He slowly moved his hand to touch my face and I tilted my head to give him better access.The hot tongue slowly inserted into my mouth, savoring the taste but with hidden firmness and stability.
My hands held him loosely around his waist and reacted to the feelings thathe was passing through the kiss. We kissed for a long time. It's an un expected kiss just to reinforce the inside of our hearts that each of us was ready to fill.When everything was clear enough, Kinn slowly withdrew his lips and spokesoftly.
"But, can I ask one thing?"
"What?"
"When you're angry, don't go to the mall again. I saw my credit card balance today and my knees almost collapsed. Huh?"
"Damn it!" I pulled Kinn for another Kiss.
My birthday this year was better than anyother years before because I got the best gift that was the person in front of me who was already mine. And I promise to keep this gift close to my heart forever...