Chapter 12
I woke up in darkness. Not something spiritual, it was midnight. I was in my bed, which was strange enough because I don't remember getting into bed that evening.
There was a glass of water on the bedside table, and the curtains had been shut. I had been tucked in as well, like a little burrito. It was quiet, apart from the street traffic down below. With a lurch, I realized the events of the past day and how I had fallen asleep. I groaned and got out of bed.
Groggily, I shuffled to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. The boys had cleaned up my puke from a couple of hours ago. I sat on the toilet seat and contemplated my reaction last night.
Was it necessary to hug Cade as I sat there sobbing? Probably not. Did I hug him anyway? Hell yeah.
The thing I was hitting myself over was the fact that I let myself break down in front of them, one thing I vowed I would never do. I tried to convince myself that it would just make the ditz facade even stronger, but I don't think it came off that way.
I found a hair elastic on the sink. Why there was woman's hair elastic on the sink, I didn't know. I grabbed it and threw my hair into a ponytail. Unfortunately, I didn't fall back asleep. I wandered around my room aimlessly, trying not to wake the other residents.
I finally gave up after fifteen minutes and decided to explore. Earlier in the day, I had noticed a balcony on one of the adjoining windows to my room. My mission was to find that room and sit out on the balcony until I was cold enough to get back into bed. I peeked out my window. It was on the right of me, two windows away.
Contemplating leaving the room was a big step. The next room could be someone else's and I wasn't keen on waking them up. I creaked open the door and tiptoed to the next room. There could quite possibly be a sleeping man in there, but I didn't really care.
When I slightly opened the door, there was somebody sleeping quietly, but I couldn't tell who it was in the dark. They lay on their side, slightly snoring. Whoever it was, they were a very peacefully sleeper. He didn't even wake when I tripped on their dresser. I saw the balcony with two glass doors leading out to it. I quietly slipped past the sleeping figure and made my way outside.
I heard the door click before sitting on the cold ground. The little balcony had a great view of the city at night. Of course, this wasn't New York City, so it was significantly quieter at night. Especially near the Common. I could see the Statehouse on the opposite lawn, and quickly waved any thoughts about the morning from my mind.
Tonight was solely for me to relax before the big day ahead. I had to find a way to sleep. The cold wasn't that bad so far. It wasn't working the way I thought it would be. The air was chilly, but not overwhelmingly so. The wind was not whipping. I tried to put my arm into the snow on the ledge, but it was just painful, so I just sat there again.
Not really doing anything, overthinking the days to come, I sat there and cried for my brother, who was probably enduring the wrath of the Council. For my mother, because she has already lost a husband, and unless I get out of here alive, she will have lost a child too. Finn is all she has left. The tears felt cold on my face, like as soon as they left my eyes they turned to ice.
I heard the doors open behind me, so I quickly sniffled and wiped my off my eyes. I craned my neck around to see Cade, rubbing his eyes, already shivering from the cold.
"What are you doing out here?" He croaked in his low voice.
He was wearing just boxers, completely shirtless on the overhang. "I'm just thinking." I reply, my voice cracking towards the end of the sentence.
I felt him lean down and sit beside me. "Thank you for helping me out earlier," I said meekly, not wanting to be overbearing.
He just shrugged. "It was nothing. Are you sure you're alright?" I scoffed.
"Honestly?"
"Honestly."
I sighed. "No."
"Okay, so here's a new one for you; why not?"
I looked at him. His brown eyes were filled with concern. "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."
"Try me."
Should I? I contemplated. Is it a good idea to confide in him? It might be nice to have someone to talk to instead if holding it al in. A little voice in the back of my head told me no. This couldn't possibly be a good idea. It's just one more person to worry about. It's probably not the best idea.
"There's not actually anything wrong."
"Val, don't try that stuff with me, obviously there is."
"You want the truth?"
"Yes!"
I sighed. "I'm homesick. This place is nowhere like where I'm from, and I just want to be with my brother, at home. I want to go home." I felt my eyes welling up again.
"Isn't your brother still in town? He couldn't have left that quickly."
"He left yesterday." Towards the end of the sentence, my voice cracked.
I had hoped it was subtle to that Cade wouldn't notice that I had began to cry, but I had no such luck. He put his arm around my shoulders, and took the other arm and gently placed it on my back, pulling me into him. I shivered at the contact.
"I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to care for me this much. I promise I'll be out of your hair and back home in no time."
"But that's the thing, Val." He murmured quietly.
"What?" I replied halfheartedly.
"I do care about you."
"Wait, do you mean in the way-" I was shut up by the feeling of his cold lips against mine.
Stunned, I just let him kiss me, and then thought, fuck it. I'm only here for a little while. I relaxed into it. His lips were soft, but surprisingly freezing. He hadn't been standing outside nearly as long as I had, but he still managed to make his lips absolutely chilly. Sooner than it had begun, he pulled away. I immediately looked away, embarassed by my actions.
"Um, I just had to- I mean, I felt like it was right to-"
"You don't need to apologize. I'm just not in that place right now, if that's alright with you."
Cade cleared his throat. "That's fine, yeah. Totally okay."
I nodded. I can't believe that just happened. One moment I'm sitting outside alone in the cold, the next, I have a college boy from the 2000's kissing me. Never thought I would end up here.
But, did I like Cade at all? I mean, he was a little old-fashioned for me, and although he may be a bit uneducated in everything, it might be okay. The little voice in the back of my head piped up again. It could never work. I was going to have to restrain myself from getting into something with him. I realized that we had been sitting outside without talking for quite awhile.
"Do you want to-"
"Go inside? Yes please." He sprung up without a second's hesitation.
Quietly, he slipped inside and held the door for me. I ducked under his arm, and upon getting inside, came to terms with just how cold I was. I shuddered and hugged myself, starting to shuffle back to my room.
"Val?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you just want to sleep with me tonight?" I was taken aback. Isn't that another way of saying that he would like to mate with me?
"Excuse me?"
"No. No! I didn't mean it that way. Shit, sorry, I forgot about the language barrier. I meant like actually sleep. You look pretty cold and a couple of thin blankets in your room isn't going to solve anything. You need body heat."
"Oh. I guess that would be alright." I nervously got under the covers and made myself comfortable.
Involuntarily, I shivered. I scolded myself quietly before Cade spoke.
"Are you still cold?"
"A bit."
I heard him move over from the other side of the bed until his arm was around my shoulders and his arm draped across my waist. I put my head on his chest and tried to sleep.
Fortunately, my method of drowsiness finally worked.
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Hey, sorry it's taken me so long to update, I've just been wicked busy. Sorry for the short chapter as well.
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