I had refused to return to my chambers afterwards, not ready to see or listen to Jaime any longer. It hurt that he had assumed something like that of me. After all we went through together, after all I sacrificed for him, after all I did for him... It felt close to betrayal. But I knew those thoughts were not his, they were Cersei's. His previous sisters... I wonder if the letter she send me was partly true. What if Jaime did want to stay with her like he once did, but felt too much obligation to return to me.
I hoped not. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I knew that I had forced him to give up what he wanted. No matter how much I want him next to me...
I spend the night with Ned in his room, falling asleep in a rocking chair. And although my body hurt after the uncomfortable night, I had no inclination to go and lie down in my own bed. I had too much work to do as a Queen, and a hostess for very important and influential allies.
Instead, I invited Daenerys for breakfast in the feast hall. Just us. No advisors, or guards, or ill-mannered partners. I didn't even bother to let Jaime know where I was going. He deserved to brood a little. I contemplated bringing Ned along with me, as I missed spending time with him, but I decided against it. I didn't want to rub the fact that I had a child, and Daenerys didn't in her face.
"Your Grace, do you have any special requests for the breakfast?", the Grand Maester asked. He had become practically my right hand, my trusted advisor, and a friend. Although he was no Maester Luwin, he truly was helpful. I understood then why my mother was so trustful with Maester Luwin. The Maesters were wise, at least in the North. I can't say the same for the South.
"Yes... I would like Lemon Cakes, my sister's and mother's favorite, and I would like Kidney Pie, my father's favorite, and Rabbit Stew, Robb's favorite. Serve us some red wine too please", I ordered, and as the Maester turned to leave, I made my way to the courtyard.
The people down below were busy at work, and it made me remember how little things have changed over the years for them. They never had to experience the political cruelty, and the loss that my entire family had to. They did however had to experience the ruthlessness of other Lords and Ladies.
They hear about a Lord dying, or a Lady marrying. They never know what it is truly like for a Highborn. Much like a Highborn never truly knows much about what it's like for a Lowborn. Each side has it's downsides, and upsides. They are just not always very obvious.
It was nice, standing in the middle, being able to breathe in the crisp, cold air. I still remembered what it was like before everything. Before our little world was destroyed so cruelly, and we were forced to survive, to grow up before our time.
I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that I didn't hear Tyrion walk up beside me, and stand next to me, looking around.
"Not much has changed, has it?", Tyrion asked , looking around. I smiled softly, and shrugged.
"I guess not. It hardly ever does for them", I replied, and he looked up at me for a brief moment before continuing to look around nodding along.
"Has something happened Tyrion?", I asked. The silence between us had made me a little paranoid. I was used to bad news, especially during these trying times.
"No, nothing's happened", Tyrion replied without hesitation. "Yet, anyway", he added a moment later.
"You heard about our fight?", I asked. I knew Jaime would not complain, I knew he was most likely thinking that our fight was his fault, which it was. He would never complain to Tyrion, or anybody really, he was not a complaining type. But it was not hard to tell when something was bothering him.
"Nothing had to be said. I can tell", Tyrion replied, and I sighed quietly. "What did my idiot brother do now?".
"It's nothing Tyrion. Nothing that you should concern yourself with. You have other responsibilities", I said after contemplating whether to tell him or not for a moment.
"Yes, I do have other responsibilities. But once upon a time, my Father told me Family comes first, before anything. And as far as I'm concerned, you're family Audelia, just as much as Jaime is. Now tell me, what did my idiot brother do now?", Tyrion said in response, and how could someone not oblige when they are told that they consider you family?
"Gendry came to visit me in our chambers late at night yesterday. As to not draw attention from other people. So no rumors would start to spread", I began and Tyrion got a knowing look on his face.
"And Jaime thought something else", Tyrion guessed and I nodded, sighing and rubbing my fingers together to warm them up.
"Gods, he always did assume the worst first", murmured Tyrion, just loud enough for me to hear.
"It's not even that. He said that Cersei was right about me. That's what hurt. His doubt, the little trust he had in me. And that he chose to believe his cunt of a sister over me", I said, and I felt tears start to pool behind my eyes and I quickly blinked them away.
Tyrion remained quiet for a little while, before breathing in audibly and turning to me. "I can't tell you to forgive him, or give him another chance. No matter how much I want you to. You have already put up with a whole lot more than anybody in the whole Seven Kingdoms would. You have forgiven, and looked past a lot of things in favor of him. At some point you have to draw a line".
"What are you saying? That I should leave him? After everything?", I asked in disbelief at what he was implying. Tyrion shook his head immediately.
"Of course not. I am merely stating that you have to know your limits. You can't always forgive every slight and every mistake he makes. At some point you have to draw a line. And I say this with love for you Audelia. You're like my sister. A sister I never had", Tyrion corrected himself and I nodded, looking away. My eyes trailed around us, and I noticed Jaime standing at a bridge, looking straight at me and Tyrion. I looked away, not wanting to look at him.
"I am touched by our concern. But I don't want to let go of Jaime. Not yet at least. I know it's Cersei that was poisoning his mind. She is like a rotten weed that we need to rip out, root and stem", I replied, and I smiled down at Tyrion. I turned around at the sound of chains, and saw Maester Luwin walking towards me.
I knew it was time for my breakfast with Daenerys, and I knew it would not go smoothly. But I had to make a better relationship with her. At least for now, when we needed her so badly. I could not afford to lose her, or make her my enemy.
"If you'll excuse me Tyrion. I'd like to catch up with you later, at dinner perhaps. With the whole family. I'll send a servant for you", I said, and when Tyrion nodded, I walked away with a lighter heart, and a heavier mind.
The walk to the feast hall was short, but enough for me to regain my posture, and composure enough to last the breakfast. It was just Daenerys when I entered, just as I had requested. I didn't want anybody interrupting us, or listening in. False rumors spreading was not something I wanted to happen.
"Queen Audelia", greeted Daenerys when she turned around from the fire. She wore a thick, white furred coat to keep her Southern skin warm from the Northern cold. I only wore a thick dress, with no fur, as the weather was rather warm today for me.
"Queen Daenerys", I greeted back, as it was custom. I extended my arm towards her chair, silently inviting her to sit down, and she did.
"I was surprised to hear that you wanted to meet with me this early in the morning. I hope everything is well, and to your liking", Daenerys said, trying to start a friendly conversation, and I took her up on the offer.
"Yes, I just felt like we started off on the wrong foot, and our relations have not been as friendly as they could have been. I just wanted to smooth out any awkwardness we had with each other. It would do good for my people, and yours", I said, and gestured towards the food, telling her without words that it was alright to begin to eat.
"Well, I assure you, there is no awkwardness on my end", Daenerys replied, and I chuckled quietly. Though I knew it was a slight meant for me. Clearly she was not as ready to give up the past as I was.
"You know, the Kidney Pie was my Father's favorite", I said, noticing that she put some on her plate. She stopped just for a short moment, and anybody who wasn't paying attention would not have noticed the hesitation.
"Don't worry, Daenerys, I would not stoop so low as to poison you in my own home", I said with a small smile, and laid some Kidney Pie on my own plate.
"I may call you Daenerys, right? I wish to forgo all the fancy titles. After all, we are equals, isn't that right?", I asked and smiled at her. I could see the refusal in her eyes, but nevertheless, she smiled in return.
"Of course. Only if I may call you Audelia", Daenerys replied, but I could tell her voice was no longer as friendly as it used to be just a moment ago. I nodded, and smiled, and continued eating small bites of my food.
"What did you really invite me to discuss today?", asked Daenerys after a moment of silence. She was growing impatient.
"I know you are not very keen on letting me rule the North as you say you are, Daenerys. It was after all part of the Seven Kingdoms that your Father ruled, and you wish to do the same", I began, putting down my knife and form so I was able to cross my arms together.
"I also know that you won't rest until you get it back. Because it's not a matter of your right anymore, it is a matter of pride. You don't want to let me have my home, and my people when it used to belong to your family", I continued and Daenerys too put down her utensils to face me.
"Your Father stood by the Usurper, Robert Baratheon, and helped him with the Rebellion. Your partner, killed my Father. You, and your family betrayed my Family, the Royal Family, and took what was not rightfully theirs, but what my ancestor, Aegon the Conqueror, gave them. Tell me... who has too much pride?", Daenerys rebutted and turned her head slightly to her side.
"There are no Northern swords melted into the Iron Throne", I responded calmly. I could not let her antagonize me.
"My Father supported Robert Baratheon because your older brother Rhaegar stole my aunt, Lyanna and raped her. Your Father burned my Grandfather Lord Rickard alive, and my Uncle Brandon choked himself to death trying to reach for the sword to help my Grandfather", I continued, my voice unwavering.
"If you wish to bring up the past, we can bring up the past. I have enough evidence of the atrocities of your family against mine to prove you wrong, but this was not why I wanted to talk with you, Daenerys", I spoke up again before she could respond. I used the silence, to continue.
"So you blame me for all that happened to your Family?", asked Daenerys, clearly not keen on letting go of the subject.
"Just as much as you blame me for your Father's death", I responded immediately, without hesitation.
"And here I am, unarmed and unguarded. Should I be concerned?", Daenerys asked, continuing the conversation. I moved my head to the side to look at Daenerys with a challenging gaze.
"You are here unarmed and unguarded because you know me better than that, Daenerys", I replied, and smiled sarcastically. "I am a Queen of reason, and logic. If I were to poison you today, your whole army, and three dragons would burn me and my people alive in a moment. And while circumstances suggest that that may be a better end than what is coming, I still wish to remain amongst the living at least until I know that the cunt Cersei got what she deserved".
"Very well, if you wish to forget the past, we can forget the past. For the better of our people, and for a stronger alliance against Queen Cersei", Daenerys relented, and I nodded.
"That's all I wanted", I said, and picked up my knife and fork again to continue eating.
When Daenerys did not do the same, I looked up again, putting the utensils down. "But you want something in return?".
"It is nothing something I want, it is something I request", Daenerys corrected me. "I wish to request that when I take the Iron Throne, you know I will, that you, although your title will remain Queen and will have full control of your lands in the North, will not only sign a peace treaty, but will also agree to never, ever, not now, not centuries later, fight my Family again. You will not take part of any struggles or squabbles of the South".
I remained silent for a moment. It was a swell deal. Fair, and square. Only I couldn't help but think that this was just a cover. If I were to pledge that, it would mean that I could never fight her. Not even when she or her descendants fight me. And if she were to change her mind, and shall she want to rule the North again, I would not be able to refuse.
"Of course we should discuss what the peace treaty entails a great deal, with our advisors present. It should be written on paper, so it would be undisputed. So both sides only benefit from this arrangement", I replied, carefully choosing my words.
"Of course", Daenerys replied immediately. "Of course".
"Good", I replied, and picked up my goblet of red wine for a toast. "Then to our new, and hopefully long living, strong, healthy, and above all, trusted, alliance".
"To the alliance", Daenerys toasted as well with her own goblet of wine.
I knew what Daenerys wanted. She wanted the North. And she would do whatever it takes to get it. Even if trying to blindside me was her course of action. I learned to see right through lies, and manipulations.
"You know, I have heard so many stories of so many great men over the course of my life. Robert Baratheon, Ned Stark, Tywin Lannister... All of them great men", began Daenerys, putting down her goblet, and continuing with her food again.
"They are all dead now", I continued for her. Daenerys nodded, but she didn't seem to be finished with whatever she wanted to say.
"You remind me a lot of the stories I've heard about the great man. They say 'he freed the people of King's Landing from a tyrant, and brought peace and prosperity back to the Seven Kingdoms', or something along those lines", Daenerys continued, and I smiled.
"Robert Baratheon", I said, remembering the tall, thick bearded, and fat man. He might not have been a good King, but he sure wasn't the worst one. I could accept that analogy.
"No", Daenerys replied, and looked up again. "Tywin Lannister".
I stopped cutting my food, and froze in place just for a moment. I have not heard the name being uttered in so long, I forgot what it sounded like. I never thought of him, never allowed his name to tarnish my thoughts. But hearing his name being pronounced in the halls of Winterfell made my heart beat faster.
"Yes, you remind me of Tywin Lannister", Daenerys repeated, content with her analogy. I looked at her with careful eyes.
"And why is that?", I asked, trying my best to calm my feelings.
"You both put Family first", Daenerys responded with a content sigh, as if it were the easiest words in the world.
"And from what I've been told, you both do not forget a slight, or forgive an insult", Daenerys added with a chuckle, and continued to eat, while I just stared at her, my smile slowly dripping off my face.
Never in my life had I thought that I was somehow, in any way, in any world, comparable to the monster that was Tywin Lannister. It made me sick, physically sick. Like I couldn't breathe.
"Are you not going to drink your wine? I hear it helps with nerves. You seem to have a lot of them", Daenerys said, pointing with her knife at my untouched goblet. I hadn't touched the wine, or any wine in a long time. Out of respect, and silent team effort to help Jaime also stay away from it.
"I can't drink away my demons anymore, those fuckers learned how to swim", I responded, and we both laughed. But my laugh was far more strained than hers.
After the lunch of a disaster, it was not long before I was enveloped in my duties as Queen. Preparations for the Long Night were going well enough, and the Smiths have made enough weapons for every soldier, and Knight fighting. Now the fortifications of the castle were well under way, and the preparations of the winding tombs underneath Winterfell. We would be as prepared as you can be for the Long Night.
The knock on my office door snapped my attention away from the papers in front of me. There were many legalities that I had to go through daily, as Queen. And in case the Long Night were to be my death day, I had to prepare a will, and a plan for the next Queen. Sansa had no idea of it yet, and I would make sure she wouldn't, not unless she had to be.
"Yes?", I call out, and the heavy door opens to reveal Jon, looking nervous.
"May I come in?", asked Jon and I nodded, putting down my quill in favor of paying him attention.
Neither of us said anything, and I could see that Jon was nervous with whatever he wanted to say. He smiled, the same self-deprecating smile he always had.
"You're not happy with me", Jon said and I shook my head.
"No", I replied, and I looked up to meet his eyes. "I'm not mad. You just failed to mention how truly set Daenerys was on being Queen of the Seven Kingdoms".
"She had promised-", Jon began but I interrupted him gently.
"She will say anything to make you believe that she is the right person for the job", I said, and sighing deeply. I reached for my goblet of untouched water, and drank from it.
Jon nodded, and reached for the chair across from me to sit down. "And is she?".
I looked at him for a moment, contemplating what to say. "You tell me. You insisted that she was a strong ally".
"She is. I brought two armies home, two dragons-", began Jon and I interrupted him.
"And a Targaryen Queen", I added, ever so helpfully.
"Do you think we can beat the army of the dead without her?", Jon asked, and I knew he as right. We couldn't. We'd be bones and snow without her. But we'll be ash with her.
"I fought them Lia. Twice", continued Jon. "You want to worry about who owns what title, I am telling you it doesn't matter. Without her, we don't stand a chance!".
We both remained silent. "Do you have any faith in me at all?", Jon asked and I scoffed, giving a half smile. He knew the answer, better than anyone.
"Of course I do. You're my big brother", I replied without hesitation. Jon nodded, satisfied with my answer and I smiled, suddenly remembering.
"Remember when we used to hide under Father's desk early in the morning before breakfast, so when he came in here and would sit down, we'd scare him?", I asked, smiling at the memory. I had been so little at the time, it was one of my earliest memories, and one of my fondest too.
"Yeah, I remember. Robb's idea?", replied Jon and I nodded.
"Everything that got us into trouble was Robb's idea", I said, and he shook his head.
"No I clearly remember you being very insistent on sneaking out of the castle to go to the pond by the Weirwood tree and swim in it, knowing full well that your Mother would have never allowed you to do that even in the day time", Jon supplied and I laughed even harder at that memory.
"Oh, she had yelled so much that day. Even Father looked shocked", I said, and Jon nodded along.
"We got a stern talking to that day. And we weren't allowed outside our rooms unless called upon", Jon continued, and I shook my head.
"But I still snuck out to your room", I couldn't help but remember.
"You didn't want me to be lonely, you said that day. I believe you even brought a book for me to read to you", continued Jon, furrowing his eyebrows, trying to remember what book it was.
"What good is that now, eh?", asked Jon, sighing heavily. The smile on our faces disappeared almost immediately. Fond memories they were. But that is all they are. Fond memories, of the past that will never recover.
"Yeah", I agreed, and leaned back in my chair. "Fucking look at us. One is in love with an Oathbreaker, a man hated all around the Kingdoms, and the other is in love with a Mad Queen, who can't take 'no' as an answer".
Jon licked his lips before looking back up at me. "She's not her father".
"No she's much prettier", I responded in return. Jon couldn't help but smile for a moment.
I saw right through him. I knew he didn't come here to talk about the Long Night, or the Kingdoms. He came here for advice. And I could guess on what.
"You're in love with her", I said, and Jon didn't even bother to deny it.
"I can understand being in love with someone you shouldn't be", I continued. "Jaime and I... we are of such different backgrounds, it is a miracle we are even able to be in the same room together without fighting let alone be in love. But we both made sacrifices for each other, so we can be happy".
"But how can you know... how can you just forgive and accept the other person without hesitation? What if what I'm doing is wrong?", asked Jon uncertainly, and I shrugged.
"If it's true love, never turn your back on it. Despite all of the sacrifices and all of the pain, Jaime and I never once regretted it", I said, remembering the words that Father had said to me the day he found out that I was in love with Jaime.
"If you truly love her, you will be able to forgive her everything", I said, and shrugged again.
"Is that why you and Jaime are together? You were able to forgive him? How?", asked Jon curiously and I smiled.
"Because he made my heart stop when I walked into a room. He made me feel like there was more to this world. He made me remember how to laugh, and smile", I said, and turned to Jon.
"I hope she can do the same to you. I truly do. That would be one good quality she possess", I add and sigh, standing up from my seat.
"And if she doesn't?", asked Jon. I took a moment to think about it.
"Then she's not worth it", I said simply, as if they were the easiest words in the world. Because they were.
I walked out of my office without looking back. I knew that if Jon loved Daenerys like I loved Jaime... there is no stopping him. There was no use to try and make him see what I saw in her. The madness, the darkness, the cruelty. He would be devoted to his death for her, and I didn't want to lose him. Because I would. If I wanted to fight Daenerys for my brother's loyalty.
The knock at the door was a surprise, but a welcome one. I had hoped it was Jaime coming to apologize, but sadly it wasn't. Gendry stood there, with a beautiful blue Winter Rose. It had been so long since I had seen one, that I was taken by surprise, and was almost unable to speak. Then I got the overwhelming feeling of cliché, and I knew if I were to let Gendry into my room again, then Jaime would most certainly see, and it would lead to another fight.
"Gendry", I greeted, almost awkwardly. He smiled at me.
"I know it's most likely inappropriate of me to come here, at this hour... Again. But I wished to apologize", said Gendry, and then extended his arm with the rose to me. I took it hesitantly, thinking that refusing would be more awkward than accepting.
"Thank you", I said and held the rose, but I did not bring it up to my nose to smell. I did not want to give Gendry the wrong idea.
"I hope I didn't cause too much trouble between you and Jaime", continued Gendry but the way he pronounced Jaime's name, made me look it. It was like he was about to spit. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"No, you didn't. We're alright", I replied, and made no move to allow him into the room. Gendry nodded, but looked up at me as if he wanted to say something.
"What do you want to say? Spit it out", I asked, and perhaps my tone could have been kinder, but I couldn't help but feel frustrated with him.
"C'mon Audelia. You can't be serious with him", Gendry finally said, and I dropped my hands at his words. My frown grew, and I knew my glare turned hard.
"I advise you to choose your next words very carefully", I warned him, and I crossed my arms across my chest. Gendry breathed and looked away for a moment.
"Audelia... it is not a secret that you went through a lot. Your Father's death, your Mother's death, your Brother's... I heard about what happened with Ramsay... You deserve happiness. Someone who can sympathize and understand at least a fraction of what you went through! Do you honestly think that Jaime fucking Lannister can offer you that?", Gendry continued, and there was a certain harshness in his voice.
"Well he can certainly offer me more than any other", I replied with just the same harshness as he used.
"And what's that? Gold? Power? Armies?", asked Gendry, almost sarcastically.
"Love. Undying, loyal, unwavering Love", I said, and clenched my jaw, looking at him, and feeling a fire inside of me that I hadn't felt for a while.
"Audelia, he is as old as your Father", Gendry added, waving his arms around a little bit. I scoffed at that.
"Women have been married off to men much older than him", I argued in return and now Gendry scoffed.
"And please do tell, were they happy?", Asked Gendry and I had to admit it was a good point but it had no connection to my relationship with Jaime and frankly, his suggesting that it did hurt me more.
"Gendry, I understand your reservations, but I do ask you to trust me. I know he is older, and I know he is of a not so very popular family around here, but he is a good man", I said, shaking my head a little for emphasis.
"He is kind, and witty, and smart, and so selfless to a nauseating degree", I continued, and I couldn't help but smile just at the thought of him. "He is so loyal, and brave. Courage could be his first name at this point. And he is so strong. He keeps going and going through whatever life throws in his way. He lost his hand, he lost his family, but he just keeps going".
Gendry shook his head, as if disappointed and turned around to face the fire in the wall. I sighed, and turned towards my vanity, and began taking off my jewelry, resigning myself for another night spend alone. I dreaded it, but I had to accept it.
"You deserve better, Audelia", Gendry said after a very long time. I had almost forgotten he was there with how quiet he was.
"Perhaps. But all I want is him. He is all I need", I replied, and even I surprised myself. The words flowed out of my mouth without my mind having to think of it.
"You deserve someone who is able to support you and accept you. Someone who is whole, not broken, without cracks. Who is able to seal your cracks", continued Gendry and I furrowed my eyebrows at his words. What did he mean? Was he saying that Jaime was too broken for me?
"Of course there are some aspects of Jaime that I find... hard to accept, but I just have to believe that I will find a way", I said, and Gendry took a step towards me without me realizing it at the time.
"He makes me vulnerable, and I let him in. I make him vulnerable and he lets me in. That is something I am unable to do with anybody else", I continued, completely not paying attention to Gendry. As I should have.
"And I don't think my love for him will ever end, or pass", I said, coming to a realization how much Jaime truly meant to me. It almost felt like I wanted to run to Jaime, and say the same thing I just told Gendry. But before I could, I felt hot lips on mine.
Gendry was kissing me.
It felt wrong, and I immediately pulled away, and stepped backwards. Feeling lips that weren't Jaime's felt wrong. I could remember, and describe in detail what Jaime's lips were like. Hot, and chapped, with a small scar just on the upper lip at the top on the left side.
Gendry's lips felt wrong. Completely wrong.
"I love you, Audelia. I always have. Since the day you walked in to the Smith's shop with your father all those years ago. Ever since we went swimming in the Blackwater Bay. Ever since we went to get those buns on the street. All I know is that you are beautiful, and kind, and amazing. And I love you. Nothing will matter if you're not with me", Gendry said, his eyes wide with bright sparkles in them. I forgot how to breathe momentarily at his words.
Gendry moved towards me but I shook my head, holding out my hand to stop him. I couldn't. I didn't want to.
"It'll pass", I whispered and his smile began to fall off his face. My breathing was quickening but I tried to keep my composure. "I can't do this. Please leave".
Gendry took a moment to fulfill my request but once the door closed behind him, I fell onto the bed covered with fur, and began crying. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why could I not be happy with a man that I love without breaking the hearts of others, or causing a rift in an alliance or family?
It was moments like these that I missed my old life. When I didn't have to bother with any of this. When my biggest problem was the way treated me far better because of my beauty. When all Sansa talked about was her future marriage to a Prince or a Lord. When Arya would sneak out with me, Jon and Robb to watch us sword fight.
Now here I was, my family in pieces, and those that were left acted more like strangers than siblings we used to be. And the man I love thought I was betraying him. At least I had my son, the light of my life.
This is my life. I am both happy and sad, and I don't know how that can be, but it is something I will have to learn to live with.
"Lilibet?", I heard a whisper, and almost jumped out of my skin when I realized that I was no longer alone. I quickly stood, and tried to wipe my tears but Jaime crossed the room, and pulled my hand away from my face.
His thumb caressed my cheek, promptly wiping my tears away as well as he looked at me with great care, and alarm.
"What's wrong?", Jaime asked and I scoffed, stepping away from him.
"You ask what's wrong? Really?", I ask, raising my voice. I didn't care that the door to our chambers was open, and the guards could most likely hear us down the hall.
"Sweetheart-", Jaime started but I shook my head.
"No, you don't get to call me that, not after you accuse me of betrayal!", I interrupted him, raising my voice even higher. Jaime quickly walked to the door, and closed it, before returning back to stand in front of me.
"I'm sorry-", he tried but I interrupted him once again, not allowing him to speak.
"It's not enough Jaime", I said, and felt more tears escape. "I love you. And if that's not enough to make you believe that I won't betray you... I don't know what is".
Jaime looked at me with those brilliant eyes. The eyes I wish to wake up to every morning, the eyes I look for whenever I enter a room, the eyes I search every single day. They were gorgeous, and brilliant in their own way. So unlike others.
"It is enough", he whispered but I found it hard to believe. After yesterday's events that is.
"I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions", he continued and took a small step towards me, and when I didn't move back, he made the decision of taking a bigger one next.
"But you have to admit, it did look questionable", added Jaime, and I breathed out a huff.
"Just when I thought you would finally act like a reasonable adult-", I began, but he interrupted me, by placing his hand, and his golden hand on my arms gently.
"I'm sorry", he whispered. "I just can't lose you Audelia. I can't lose you, or Ned".
"You won't, I promise you", I said immediately.
"No, I promise you", Jaime replied without a thought.
That night, I truly understood how strongly Jaime trusted me. Because finally, in all the years that I had known Jaime, and loved him... he opened up to me about who he truly was.
No mask, no filter, no lies... just him.
And it made me fall in love with him all over again.