Leila sat at her bedroom desk, typing rapidly as she finished polishing her resume. Downstairs, she could hear the sound of her father frying something in the kitchen. Leila imagined in only a matter of minutes, her brother and Shannon would arrive to their weekly family dinner.
The prior weekend, Leila had sat awkwardly as she explained to her brother and Shannon that she had decided to stay home for a little while. They both had appeared concerned, but neither had questioned her any further.
Tonight would be her second family dinner since her argument with Mia. It had been close to two weeks since their fallout, and while Leila had felt she'd given Mia an appropriate amount of space and had worked through her own feelings related to the argument since then, she was still frightened to return. Leila had no idea how Mia react. Deep down, despite her efforts to move past Mia in the past two weeks, Leila knew it wasn't possible. Mia would hold a place in her heart for a long time to come. Leila was foolish for thinking she could get over her so easily.
It doesn't matter much anyway, Leila thought, staring at her laptop screen. If I do end up getting this job, we won't see each other anymore.
The thought hurt her, but she ignored it. She had made the decision to apply for the position in Connecticut, and she was going to follow through. The week prior, when she had shared this information with Gavin and Shannon, they'd been so celebratory of her decision. She wasn't going to back out now.
"Lei! Your brother's here!" she heard her mother call from downstairs. That was her cue to leave her work behind and join in on socializing. However, Leila still wasn't in the mood to chat, not when she knew how concerned her family still was for her.
Leila headed down the stairs, finding her mother waiting for her at the bottom of the staircase.
"You know, I'm sure you would prefer to complete all your application materials back at your desk in your apartment rather than your childhood room," she said.
Leila knew what her mother was doing. For the past week her parents had been making subtle hints that it was about time for Leila to return, and for the past week, Leila had brushed them off. Tonight was no different.
"I don't mind," Leila said.
"Lei," her mother said quietly. Her eyes turned to the door, where Gavin and Shannon were set to enter at any moment, "I'm worried about you. Don't you want to return? I'm concerned that you—"
"Don't worry. I'll go back soon," Leila grumbled.
"Lei—" her mother was cut off by Shannon and Gavin entering. Quickly, her mother's mood changed. "There you two are!" her mother exclaimed, engulfing the both of them in hugs. Leila walked past them into the kitchen, where her father was cooking dinner.
"Need any help, Dad?" she asked.
He shook his head. "No, I'll have Gavin help me. You just rest up and eat some appetizers."
"Thanks," Leila said.
She had appreciated her parents giving her space over the last two weeks, though it made her feel guilty for not being honest with them. She figured they must know at this point that she was keeping something about the argument from them, but they thankfully seemed content not pressing any further. Leila wondered when she had stopped sharing everything with her parents. For the first time, she felt like an actual adult.
"Gavin, you're on sauté duty," Leila's dad announced as Gavin stepped into the kitchen.
"Aw, man," Gavin complained.
Shannon laughed at him and walked over to the living room where Leila stood, munching on some appetizers. Shannon smiled and quickly gave Leila a warm hug. Leila realized she must've been looking more grim than she thought.
"Come on," Shannon said, grasping her hand. "Let's go out on the porch. The heat lamps still work, right?"
"Yeah," Leila said.
They both sat on the porch steps beneath the heat lamps, watching the sun set in the horizon and listening to the crickets chirping. Leila shivered slightly; the air was chilly, a clear reminder that summer was long gone and that they were in the throes of autumn.
"Your mom said you were still living here," Shannon explained as she got comfortably seated beside Leila.
Leila sighed. "I know she wants me to go back."
"It's been two weeks. That's enough time, don't you think?" Shannon asked.
Leila grumbled and turned away from Shannon's gaze.
"Leila, forgive me for intruding. I know I'm not your actual sister, but I've grown really close to you these past few years. I care for you like any family member would. What's bothering you?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Leila said.
Shannon sighed. "When will you go home, then?"
"I don't know," Leila admitted. "I just don't know anymore."
Shannon slowly inhaled as she spoke. "Something else happened when you fought with Mia. Or maybe it happened before. Or maybe it's all just a lie and you two never fought, but—"
"No, I mean, we did fight, and it started out about her boyfriend being over so often," Leila explained. "But it...it turned into something else."
Shannon gently touched Leila's arm. "Tell me?" she asked. "If it'll help. I'm assuming you haven't told your parents."
Leila shook her head and glanced down at her knees. "I confessed to Mia," she said quietly.
Shannon gasped. "What did she say?!"
"She wasn't happy. She said it was wrong for me to tell her that when she's dating Julian," Leila explained. Her heart stung as she replayed the scene in her head. "She was right..." Slowly, she broke down into tears. Shannon quickly pulled her toward her and hugged her.
"Oh, Leila," Shannon said softly, stroking her hair as Leila cried against her. She hoped that the evening noises and cooking sounds coming from the kitchen were loud enough to mask her sobs from the rest of her family.
"Don't tell my parents," Leila begged.
"What? Why would I tell them?" Shannon asked. "Although to be honest, Leila, I know I gasped, but that was more at the fact you admitted your feelings for Mia. I think we've all known you've liked her."
Leila blinked at her. "Huh?"
"Come on. I saw your eyes on her the whole time when you brought her here for dinner. And the wedding? Well, there's a reason everyone thought you were girlfriends," Shannon said.
While Leila normally would've felt flustered hearing those things, she instead felt even more heartbroken. "It doesn't matter. Mia doesn't like me that way," Leila said.
"Is she straight?"
"I think she's still figuring things out," Leila explained. "But it doesn't matter. I never had a chance to begin with. Living with her, rekindling our friendship, it was all so fun...and then I fell for her. But when Julian was over, I don't know. Everything felt so dark and lonesome. It's been so hard seeing her in love with someone else, especially when I dislike him so much. It's true I think she deserves someone better, but it's probably not me. I was so inconsiderate when I confessed to her—" Leila broke off as another sob wracked her body.
"Sh. It's okay," Shannon said. "I'm sorry your feelings came out at the wrong moment, but it must feel good that she knows them. I can't imagine how hard it was for you to keep all that emotion locked up inside you."
"I'm a coward," Leila explained. "I don't want to go back and talk to her about what happened, even though I scrutinized her for doing the same thing before."
Shannon frowned. "It's true that it's easier to run and escape here. I would've done the same. But the fact of the matter is that you said what you said. You've told me about how strong your and Mia's friendship had become. While I know it's unrealistic to think she'd return your feelings, at least have faith in your friendship. Have faith that she'll forgive you and that you'll find your way through it."
Leila sniffed. "You think so?"
"Of course," Shannon said. "I know how scary it can be. I was the one who confessed first to Gavin."
"You did?!" Leila exclaimed.
"What? Did he tell you different? I was so scared. We'd created such a strong friendship, and I was afraid I ruined it, but I took that chance. You've already gotten the hard part out of the way. Now, just trust you and Mia can move forward no matter what she says."
"Thank you, Shannon," Leila murmured. "I really do wish you were my sister."
"We are, silly," Shannon said. She reached down and squeezed Leila's hand. "Say, can I tell you something that I think will cheer you up a little bit?"
"What?" Leila asked.
"I'll need you to do something really big for me, okay?" Shannon asked.
"What is it?" Leila asked, confused.
"I need you to be the best aunt ever," Shannon explained.
"Aunt? Wait? Ah! Wait, Shannon, are you—"
Shannon nodded. "I lied when I said I was cutting out alcohol to lose weight before the wedding. I'm just about three months along," she said. "I was planning to announce it your parents tonight, but I figured I'd tell you now. I'm due in the summer."
"Congrats! That's so exciting!" Leila exclaimed. "I'm going to be an aunt." She paused. "Oh God, Gavin's going to be a father!"
"What? You don't think he can do it?"
Leila laughed. "No, it's not that. It's just strange to me. Everyone is getting older. Everything is changing so much."
"Hey, you're going to apply for that job right? Maybe in a few months, you'll be off to Connecticut, starting a new chapter as well," Shannon said.
"Maybe," Leila said.
"We should probably head inside," Shannon said, glancing back at the window. Gavin and Leila's father had moved away from the stove, signaling that dinner would be ready in a few minutes.
Leila nodded and together, she headed back indoors with Shannon.
"Well, you got her smiling again, it seems," Leila's mother said as they re-entered.
Leila was sure they could see the traces of tears in her eyes, but she didn't mind. Her chat with Shannon had been cathartic. Having the ability to finally tell someone what she was going through felt like a weight off her shoulders. She hadn't felt this light in a long time.
At dinner that evening, Leila watched happily as Shannon announced to her parents that they were going to be grandparents. Leila's mother started crying right away while her father bounced around in glee. Leila smiled at Gavin and offered him a congratulations. Watching them all celebrate together, Leila felt the happiest she had been in a while.
Later, as they finished their dessert, Leila cleared her throat.
"I have an announcement myself," she said.
"Oh? What is it?" her mother asked.
"I'll return to my apartment tomorrow," Leila said. "I've been hiding here longer than I should have. I'm sorry. Thank you for letting me stay here, Mom and Dad. I'll face my fears tomorrow and work things out with Mia."
"That's what I was hoping to hear you say," her father said.
After Gavin and Shannon parted for the night, Leila went upstairs and began packing away the few things she brought with her to her parents' house. Reaching for her phone, she finally found the courage to send Mia a text.
Hey. I'm planning to come back tomorrow night after work. See you then.