Leila swirled her beverage in her hand as she sat at dinner with her friends; her thoughts swirled with it. For the past week, Leila felt like she was treading on eggshells every time she and Mia were together, which wasn't very often, considering Mia spent the majority of her time with Julian. When Julian wasn't lounging on her couch, Leila would come home to an empty apartment, a sign Mia was out with him. Mia's texts warning Leila of his presence had practically become nonexistent, leaving Leila to wonder what scene she would walk into each day she returned home from work.
In a week's time, Mia had somehow become a completely different person. Leila desired to blame it on Julian since they were spending so much time together, but Leila would be a fool to admit that she had not noticed that even in the moments she was alone with Mia, Mia was cold and distant. While they were never rude to each other, the friendship Leila had worked so hard to build up appeared to have vanished in an instant. No longer brave enough to confront Mia on what had happened, Leila treated Mia as any other normal roommate and continued on with her life.
Ashlynn and Elena's loud, reverberating laughs brought Leila back to the present. Normally, Leila would be embarrassed by how loud they were after a few drinks, but instead her attention was turned to outside the window, where pedestrians walked up and down the street. At one point, she saw a couple from behind that looked eerily similar to Mia and Julian, but the man turned at the last minute, and she realized it was just a pair of strangers.
"Woah. You look like you're glaring daggers," Ashlynn said, finally noticing Leila's silence.
"Sorry. Had a bad week," Leila murmured.
"That's why there's alcohol, silly," Ashlynn said. "Let me flag down the waiter for another cocktail for you."
"One's enough. I can't hold alcohol well," Leila said.
"But you're so tall," Elena pointed out.
"Never been good at keeping it down," Leila repeated.
"What's the matter?" Elena asked. "You've been sulking since we came here."
"Yeah. It's like you don't even want to see us," Ashlynn complained.
"Ignore her," Elena said, quickly shooting a side glance at Ashlynn.
"Julian's been over all week," Leila said. "Every time I'm in my apartment, it feels like he's there."
"I thought you said he wasn't over that often," Ashlynn said.
"He seems to be over all the time now," Leila complained. She took a large sip of her drink and slammed it down on the table. "He just gets on my nerves! He's an absolute asshole! He's never considerate when he comes over, and he always acts like I'm in the way in my own apartment. Yet Mia can't get enough of him."
Elena frowned. "What changed, then?"
"I don't know," Leila murmured. "I...I thought they had broken up last weekend. Mia was really upset, but the next day, he was on my couch like nothing had happened. I don't know."
"Tell Mia then," Ashlynn said. "You're going to be miserable if you just put up with this."
Leila grunted.
"What?" Elena asked.
"Mia hasn't been talking to me as much," Leila said. "I don't think she's mad at me, but she doesn't seem happy to see me either."
"Did you two fight?" Ashlynn asked. She gasped suddenly. "No. Don't tell me! You told her how you feel?"
Leila narrowed her eyes. "No." She glanced at her drink, watching the icecubes slowly float on the surface. "I'm not that stupid. I mean, I got a little snippy with her about Julian being over. Maybe I shouldn't have. I should've just been more direct, but I'm bad at confrontation."
She refrained telling Elena and Ashlynn about the night of the thunderstorm when she slept in Mia's bed and the following night where Mia cried in her arms. Though she was sure her friends would eat the stories up, it felt inappropriate to share Mia's grievances.
Not wanting to think about Mia any longer, Leila looked up at her friends. "In happier news, my boss was telling me about this job in Connecticut she thinks I'm qualified for."
"That's so exciting, Leila!" Ashlynn exclaimed.
"Connecticut? That's pretty far for you," Elena said.
"I know," Leila responded. "I don't know if I want to apply yet."
"Come on. You should at least apply," Elena said.
"Yeah. You might not even make it to the interview stage anyway—hey!" Ashlynn exclaimed as Elena elbowed her side.
"It's just a passing thought right now," Leila murmured. "I mean, my lease isn't up for a while. I like it in Maine. I always have. My family is here, and you guys, of course."
"You can still visit us here though," Ashlynn stated.
"How much does it cost to end your lease early?" Elena wondered.
"One month's rent. I have enough saved, but..."
"But what? Go for it, girl!" Ashlynn exclaimed. The alcohol had clearly taken its effect, as she was acting even more bubbly than normal.
"But..." Leila let her voice drawl off.
"But what?" Elena wondered.
Leila shook her head. "Nothing. I'll think about it."
After they'd finished dinner for the evening and parted ways, Leila went down to the beach in the darkness. The air was chilly, and she didn't have a heavy coat to protect her from the cold, but she didn't feel ready to return to the apartment just yet, not when she knew Julian would most likely be around.
Leila took a seat on the beach and dug her toes into the cool sand. The lights from the restaurants and shops reflected on the water, and above her, a bright moon lit up the sky. Leila traced her finger in the sand, then grabbed handfuls at a time and let it sift through her fingers.
But...
Leila had been too afraid to say it then, but now, alone on the beach, she let out a deep breath and shared what had been the real reason she was reluctant to apply for the job.
"But I love Mia," Leila murmured. For so many years she had, and though she and Mia's relationship had faced challenges, both through adolescence and in adulthood, Leila thought of how hard she had worked to rekindle her friendship with Mia and how she didn't want to let it slip through her fingers just yet. Even with the fractures that had appeared in their relationship in the past week, even with Leila's annoyance at Mia's boyfriend being over constantly, she couldn't deny that she still held feelings for Mia deep down.
Leila thought back to that evening, when Mia had been sobbing and trembling in her arms. Leila had looked down at her and fallen even more in love with her. It felt wrong to leave her like that. She knew Mia would tell her to go for the job, to not think twice about leaving Maine, but Leila couldn't imagine living without her anymore.
Even if she stays with Julian forever, even if they get married and have ten kids, I still can't see myself parting from her, Leila thought. After all, they'd promised to be best friends as children, and best friends didn't abandon each other.
Wiping the sand from her hands and legs, Leila returned to her car and drove back home to the apartment. Judging by the lack of light peeping through the cracks of the doorframe, Leila assumed Mia was either in her bedroom or out with Julian.
As Leila stepped inside, she turned the lights on. Fuji was immediately at her feet, meowing at her for pets. Leila scooped him up, kissed the top of his forehead, and suddenly noticed a small piece of notebook paper sitting on the kitchen counter.
She walked over and investigated it:
FYI – spending the night at Julian's. See you tomorrow.
Leila crumpled the piece of paper in her fist and tossed it in the trash. It fell to the floor below, and Fuji leapt from her arms to bat it with his paws. Leila sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter, holding her head in her hands. She glanced up at the couch, the spot she had been comforting Mia only a week ago.
What had happened in that time?
That evening, Leila curled up in her warm bed, and while a TV show played on her laptop, her mind wandered. She knew deep down that her jealousy for Julian was tearing her apart, but being honest with Mia wasn't going to solve any problems. Judging by the fact that Leila and Mia's relationship already appeared to be on thin ice, Leila was afraid of even asking Mia what had happened in the past week, let alone confessing her feelings.
Sighing, Leila sunk into her covers and turned the lights off. She tossed and turned for what felt like hours.