'reality doesn't impress me. i only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, i escape, one way or another. no more walls.' anaïs nin.
season 1, episode 3
p
ack mentality
The ocean is a vast area that has yet to be fully discovered. Wonders and terrors resided in the murky water, lurking or resting, ready to attack or be attacked. Much like the land dwellers, the creatures of the sea had customs that were caused by their environment. Whether they were warm or cold blooded, predators or prey, they were creatures fated the same as humans.
To live and inevitably die.
Neviah's seventh birthday wish was for the ocean to take her away one day. She would stand in the lapping waves. The sand swayed at her toes. The sun would be setting, casting the sky to shift colors for only an hour. Then, she would disappear.
Quite an odd wish for a seven-year-old to desire. Luckily, wishes weren't meant to be shared, or else her dream would have been crushed sooner.
Still, knowing it would never happen, Neviah still longed for that ending.
She laid in her messy bed, staring at the ceiling that once had glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on it - the imprints stayed there when the stars were long gone - with her mind lost at sea. Her recently installed Ariel red wig sprawled out around her. That ending would allow her to slip out of the light and be lost to a void. It would be an escape.
Until then, she would have to find other means of release.
"Are you okay?" Stiles questioned as he tugged on his pants before he sat at the edge of Neviah's bed. He contorted his body to gaze at her, inspecting her as her guard was half down. There but not really.
Neviah pursed her lips, mind twisting to the shadowy forest instead of a tranquil beach. She hummed, "Yeah." She forced herself to move, gathering her sheets to her chest and rose, locking eyes with him. A devilish smirk appeared. "And how are you?"
Stiles chuckled, seeing through her lies. "I'm fantastic."
She hummed again, reaching for the nearest shirt, which happened to be his. At this point, she had to have at least five of his items. Everything she would remind him to take them back, he would pretend he didn't hear and leave. Not that she minded, for such an ugly taste Stiles' clothes were comfortable.
Though, they would be kept stuffed in the corner of her closet.
Refilled plastic bottles under her vanity caught her gaze. Seven bottles for the week laid out for her picking. Her fingers itched to grab one, to undo the cap and drink her numbing "medication".
Instead she curled her fingers around her bed and glanced to herself in her full-body mirror.
"I have a question," Stiles started with a reluctant sigh. Neviah resisted to roll her eyes. Her brows rose, igniting him to continue. "How do you know Derek?"
If there's one thing Neviah should have known, was that Stiles would do anything for knowledge. He was his father's son and a natural detective.
Her fingers tighten. She looked over her shoulder for a moment, observing his attentive behavior. She looked back at the bottles. "Grew up with him and his family, before the fire."
No one had known what truly happened during the fire, the public barely knew who was there thanks to Damian. The public only knew how many had died. Nine. No names, just nine bodies. No identities, burned bodies. Nothing.
"Haven't seen him since then. Until yesterday," Neviah confessed, standing up and putting on underwear and shorts. She walked towards her closet, scanning the infinite amount of clothes to pick from for school. Her dad hadn't been home since yesterday morning. He claimed to have some business to take care of. Business meaning Derek.
Silence barely settled before Stiles spoke. "So, how do you know he's not...a bad person?"
Peering out, Neviah shrugged, scrunching her eyebrows. "He could be a mass murderer for all I know, Mieczysław."
She found the perfect outfit for the day. A black long sleeve, and a black and white sleeveless dress, matched with pearl earrings. Neviah smiled to herself. She stepped out, locking eyes with a fully clothed Stiles.
"Like I said, I haven't seen him in five years. I don't know if he's a good person anymore, and I don't really care. He'll leave like before and everything will go back to normal."
Making her way back into the closet to change, Stiles winced, scratching the back of his neck as her nerves tangled. "Yeah, back to normal..."
He remained quiet for a moment. One small moment to let his thoughts run before opening his mouth. "Did Malikai hang around Derek back then? 'Cause they are together a lot."
He obviously didn't think thoroughly.
Neviah paused. Malikai disliked Derek, he wouldn't hang around him. Especially not without telling her...well, maybe that was false not that Neviah thought about it. He lied. Malikai always lied.
She shrugged, adding to her vocal act despite Stiles not being able to see it. "No, but what Mal does is his business."
"Okay, but-"
"Why are you asking me these questions? Hm?" Neviah inquired, hoping he would feel her annoyance through the cracked door. "Your best friend went through everything I went through with the Hale's, so why don't you ask her?"
"Wait what?" Stiles whispered as he stood up in confusion.
Neviah stepped out. She exited out with a twirl. Stiles's mouth gaped in awe, forgetting his previous thoughts.
"I'm guessing I look good," Neviah teased, walking towards her vanity to grab her pearl earrings. They were her favorite ones. She received them as a gift for her seventh birthday, along with a pearl necklace. She lost the necklace at Malikai's house the following summer, and since then she refused to lose the earrings.
Stiles blushed, tracking her intently. "When do you not?"
Neviah gasped, inserting the second earrings. "Who knew you could be a flirt, Mieczysław? Try that with Lydia and maybe she'll see you for once."
He laughed, whether it was finding her words humorous or self-deprecation, he still laughed. Stiles calmed before his eyes lit up. He went into his bag and pulled out two books. The Odyssey and one Neviah hadn't recognized.
He handed it towards her, which she took into her own hands. "You think your dad noticed the book was gone?"
Singular. Not plural.
Neviah made no physical signs of confusion - she was good at that. Instead, she gave a flat smile. "If he did, you would be dead. So, no."
He let out a sigh of relief. He grabbed his bag, throwing it over his shoulder. "Thank god, because that book had a lot of information that I needed."
A hum was Neviah's only response. Her eyes focused on the book. Lycanthropy. The word clicked in her brain, gearing churning with no care she did not want this.
"You should go," Neviah stated, lolling her head to the side towards the door. "Malikai is going to be here soon."
Stiles nodded, taking his leave. Neviah watched over from the rail on the second floor, making sure he was gone. Not a moment after, she marched into her room, heading towards her bed. She kneeled down, tugging out an old luggage she kept there. She unzipped it, and pulled out a box that rattled.
The gears moved, despite her not knowing why. She didn't understand and that scared her. There was no memory of the box or its importance to be hidden. But some part of her knew.
Instinctively, she opened it, finding multiple pieces of paper with various writings on them. She recognized names and words, but her brain commanded her to not focus on them. It forced her to take a sticky note and write two names and a word.
Scott, Stiles
Werewolves??
༻❁༺
"Okay, but what if the killer hung their guts like Christmas decorations? You're telling me that wouldn't be interesting," Malikai inquired genuinely, furrowing his brows with confusion at the dark-skinned girl in front of him.
Harley hung her head to the side, disturbed. "Boy, shut up, that's so disgusting." She turned forward, writing down a few notes.
Malikai rolled his eyes, twirling his pen. He had no care for the lesson they were supposed to be reading. "It's human parts, Harley, it's not supposed to be confetti."
"It was an animal, obviously, so no mass murderer with special tactics like those documentaries you watch," Harley muttered, eyeing Mr. Harris as he moved around the room. When he turned to answer a question for Jessica, Harley turned. "Beacon Hills isn't that special."
He scoffed, refusing to believe his small dream of an epic case in Beacon Hills to die. Leaning over the table, he poked Neviah in the back, interrupting her reading. "What do you think did that to the bus?"
Malikai's antics were formed from boredom - they were in Mr. Harris' class, it was expected - and he couldn't keep his thoughts to himself.
A sigh left her lips as she reorganized her finished notes. "Animal by damage on the bus, but the struggle had to have come from another person. Only something human could do that."
"Final answer?" he said singsongy, drumming with his fingers.
Neviah looked back, arching a brow. "Werewolf."
Malikai glared. "Funny."
"I try."
A book slammed down on Neviah and Harley's shared counter. Neviah made no reaction, only facing the cause, while Harley and Malikai jumped. fixing themselves. Harris glared at the three.
"Less talking, more working."
Neviah smiled politely, hiding the poison on her tongue. "Sorry sir, Malikai needed help finding a section for one of the questions."
Mr. Harris' glare continued. He had no reason to hate Neviah, she had good grades, stayed out of trouble, and pretended to care about the class better than her peers. However, she just always knew what to say to push his buttons.
"Mr. Alexander is very capable of finding his own answers, Ms. Degrace," Harris argued, picking the book up, and turned towards his desk.
Neviah smirked to Harley, who stifled a laugh. She composed her face, filling it with fake concern. "So, you would rather me let my peers fail than help them? That would mean they would have to retake your class, and seeing as if they didn't understand the first time, how would they handle the second? Third? Fourth?"
Mr. Harris's eye twitch. His mouth opened, but not a sound came out. Instead, Harley shouted, "Hey, I think they found something!"
Everyone launched up and over to the window, curious as something happened by the bus. Neviah stayed in her seat. She could barely stand the sight of the bus, she rather not see the remains of the poor soul who got attacked.
Malikai groaned in defeat as someone screamed. Harley smacked his arm for being insensitive. Neviah snorted a chuckle. She noticed Scott and Stiles whisper something to each other. Fear was as clear as day on Scott's face. Interesting.
༻❁༺
"I would rather shoot myself in the face with a shotgun," Neviah exclaimed to Lydia, clenching her jaw.
"At least do it in private, we don't need to see that," Jackson joined, giving a mocking stare to Neviah. She didn't spare him a glance, only rolled her eyes for Lydia to see.
Lydia sighed, unwrapping her arm with Neviah's to stand in front of her. "Allison and Scott are dating now, which means we have to get to know him. Sitting with him at lunch is the perfect opportunity."
"I never forced you to get to know anyone I was dating," Neviah argued.
"You've never dated anyone," Jackson added as he picked up a fry.
Neviah jerked, pointing her hand towards him. "Who is talking to you right now? No one. Now, shut up." She looked back to Lydia, who gave her a disappointed look. "Allison is perfectly capable of sitting with her boyfriend and his weird friends by herself."
Lydia huffed, reluctantly agreeing. They sat down at their normal table for a few minutes before Allison appeared with a worried smile. Lydia gave one look to Neviah, saying 'you sure now?'
"Fine!"
Malikai laughed as Lydia told the table they were sitting with Scott and his friends. He didn't think it was serious until Neviah stood up and picked up her tray.
"You're for real?"
Neviah inhaled deeply, weighing the pros and cons, and outcome of this inconvenience. Ultimately, she found the pros to weigh more. "Yeah, now get up, I'm not doing this without you."
"-We'll figure it out," Stiles said to Scott, elbowing Harley, who wasn't interested in the conversation, to agree. She hadn't fully forgiven the two for getting Derek arrested.
"Figure what out?" Lydia asked, setting her tray down beside Scott.
Neviah swiftly went to the other side to sit next to Harley. The girl moved quicker, sliding over to force the girl in-between her and Stiles. She had really not forgiven them.
Neviah tightening her hold on her tray, holding her annoyance down. She reminded herself of the extra bottle she brought by accident. She sat down, ignoring Stiles like always. The boy gasped at Lydia and Neviah joining them.
"Uh, just homework," Scott answered nervously.
Malikai sat in front of her, next to Allison. He gave Neviah a look, saying he didn't like this. She returned it, but he already knew how she felt about it. Her friend's happiness outweighed her ego. The rest of their usual table members filled in.
Stiles and Harley added a 'yeah' to prove Scott's answer. Stiles leaned towards Scott, whispering something along the lines of 'why are they sitting here?'
Jackson made it to the table last, after all the seats were filled. He looked to Brian and said, "Get up."
"How come you never ask Danny to get up?" he complained.
"Because I don't stare at his girlfriend's coin slot," Danny Mahealani responded with a mocking smile. Neviah cocked her head in annoyance.
Jackson pushed Brian away. The brunette attempted to go towards the end near Neviah. She cocked her head once more, this time with a glare. She never liked him and his creepy stares. "Find another table, dipshit."
"So, I hear they're saying it's some type of animal attack," Danny gossiped before biting into his green apple. "Probably a cougar?"
"I heard mountain lion," Jackson claimed.
He's an idiot, Neviah thought. She widened her eyes sarcastically as if his idiotic mind was a surprise.
"A cougar is a mountain lion," Lydia interjected. Neviah smirked. Lydia rarely let her intelligence show to save Jackson's masculinity or whatever her excuse was.
Seeing as he shot her a look of confusion, she backed down.
"Isn't it?"
"Who cares?" Jackson countered, like the egotistical jackass he was. "The guy's probably some homeless tweaker who's gonna die anyway."
Harley scoffed, "Aren't you so empathic?"
Jackson jeered at her.
Neviah and Malikai locked eyes, both despising every moment of this. Neviah picked at her food, not finding any of it appetizing. She took a sip from her bottle, and noticed Scott staring at it.
"You want some, Scott?" she teased, shaking the bottle towards him.
Allison tilted her head in disappointment. Both that she was drinking and that she offered it to Scott, who didn't know better. "Neviah!"
"I'm joking," Neviah defended, dragging her words. "He's an innocent boy."
Stiles perked up, looking from his phone. "Actually, I just found out who it is." He presented his phone for the rest of the table to see. "Check it out."
Neviah had no choice but to look as curiosity grew thick in her. It was a video of Noah at the scene with a voice over, explaining the situation. They said the victim, Garrison Meyers, survived the attack.
"I knew that guy," Scott stuttered, staring straight at his best friend.
"You do?" Neviah questioned. Beacon Hills was small, but not entirely small to know everyone.
"Yeah, when I used to take the bus back when I lived with my dad," he explained. Those who knew about Rafael McCall gave not-so subtle reactions to the mention of the man. "He was the driver."
Neviah knew the whole story of Rafael and his disappearance. The Degraces heard arguing then a scream during the night. Damian rushed over and Neviah, curious as ever, followed.
She stabbed her fork into her fries.
"Can we talk about something slightly more fun, please?" Lydia pleaded. "Like, oh, where are we going tomorrow night?"
Multiple eyebrows rose at her question. It was a Monday, no one planned anything as a group until the weekends. With sports, school, and majority of the friendships in the friend group being fake, no one hung out during the week.
Lydia looked at a confused Allison. "You said you and Scott were hanging out tomorrow night, right?"
Allison swallowed the food in her mouth as she realized what Lydia was doing. Malikai stifled a laugh. "Um, we were thinking of what we were gonna do."
"Well, I am not sitting home again, watching lacrosse videos, so, if the eight of us are hanging out, we are doing something fun."
Neviah jerked, pausing for a second before turning her head to her red-headed friend. "Eight of us? I'm not going anywhere tomorrow."
Malikai raised his hand like a child. "I, second that."
"There's no way I'm letting the two of you sit at home, doing nothing tomorrow," Lydia exclaimed. "You two need a dating life."
"I won't be doing nothing tomorrow, I'll be doing someone," Neviah corrected, pointing her fork towards Lydia. "Besides, I've already told you, my dating life is mine for a reason."
Lydia shook her head with a smile. "Yet, you've done nothing with it. That's why you're going with what's his face-" she pointed at Stiles, making him jump-"and Mal is going with Barley."
A chorus of 'what' erupted at her pairings. Neviah and Harley's both sounded defensive, Stiles and Malikai's were out of shock, and Allison and Scott, out of confusion.
"What?" Lydia asked, furrowing her brows as if she had no clue of what she had just done.
Harley laughed, placing her hand over her chest. "Okay, first of all, pretty girl, the name's Harley. Secondly, there's no way in hell I'm going on a group date with any of you. Thirdly, I'd rather die than go on a date with Malikai - no offense."
"Major offense," Malikai grunted, crossing his arms. He pouted. "I'm a catch."
Lydia sighed, "Okay fine, then you two don't go."
"Me too," Neviah interjected quickly. "I'm not going on a date."
"Why not? It won't be that bad," Allison asked after talking with Scott about a group date. She was trying to see the good in the forced situation, and Neviah only saw the bad.
"I don't do dating," Neviah said dryly, returning to her drink. "Too much effort that I don't have time for."
"She's also never been in a serious relationship, so she has nowhere to start," Jackson added, smirking at Neviah's annoyance.
Malikai tilted his head in confusion, holding back a smirk. "Isn't Lydia your first girlfriend, though?"
Jackson glared, dropping his leg to lean closer to Malikai. Malikai only chuckled, taking a bite of his dry burger.
"Ugh, fine, don't go," Lydia groaned, admitting defeat. Neviah grinned. "I'm still going to find you someone to date before the year ends."
Malikai raised his water bottle. "Good luck to that."
Harley, Neviah, and Jackson raised their drinks.
"You guys have fun though," Neviah told the three, who would have to go on the group date.
"You know what else sounds fun?" Jackson asked. He picked up his fork. "Stabbing myself in the face with this fork."
Lydia slapped his hand down, rolling her eyes. Stiles also rolled his eyes, leaning back to connect his annoyance with Harley's.
"At least do it in private, so we don't have to see it," Neviah told him, smiling smugly. Jackson scoffed a laugh.
Lydia gasped as an idea sparked. "How 'bout bowling? You love to bowl."
Neviah tuned out their conversation. While it was fun to watch Jackson be annoyed, Neviah simply didn't care. Instead, she focused on Stiles' annoyed actions, which were mocking Jackson any time he spoke.
"Someone's jealous Lydia doesn't want to take you out on a date," she teased, planting her elbow on the table and resting her head on her palm, keeping eye contact with Stiles.
He scoffed, taking a sip of his water. "I'm not jealous." Neviah gave him a knowing look. "I'm not! He's an asshole," he muttered, sending a quick glare to the other boy.
"Uh-huh, sure."
Stiles sat up straight, trying to cover his emotions better. "Hey, why were you so quick to say no to a date with me? I'm not that bad."
"And I know that," she responded with a wink. His face flushed. "Don't take it to heart, Mieczy, I would have said no that quickly for anyone. Not the dating type, remember?"
Sometimes Neviah wished that wasn't true.
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omg, Venus updates killshot baby??? crazy.
I'm trying to force my love for Neviah and Neviah and Stiles to make me update, so here you guys go! please give me your thoughts, it helps sm more than you think and inspires me to keep updating.
also, I'd like to say I cannot believe it's taken me this long to realize Neviah is on the aromatic spectrum. Like I was re-reading this chapter since I pre-wrote it like a month ago and the signs were loud and clear.
I don't exactly know where she lies on the spectrum because of course, she dates and is romantically involved with Stiles. I think the closest one would be greyromantic or demiromantic, but again I have no clue. I'll probably find out as I keep writing, if not, it honestly fit Neviah's character and the way she sees how she loves for her to not know exactly where she is on the spectrum.