*Mae*
Sometimes, I wonder about what my life would've been like had I not been onboard the Celestial, if I hadn't been forced to leave my homeland behind with the promise that everything would be alright and normal when it clearly wouldn't be at any point in time and space.
If the words "normal" and "alright" even existed anymore.
As ironic as it felt, those words seemed outdated.
Lost in the vastness of the evolving world and society.
They felt….Abnormal to use anymore.
But perhaps, that was just my strange brain thinking again.
Maybe the lack of oxygen was getting to me again, maybe it was making me say strange things and do things that I wouldn't have normally done.
Like, say, sneak onboard an old, outdated and old fashioned spaceship with the hopes of either hiding out until I was inevitably captured and probably sentenced to a painful albeit brief death by being Casted Out or until I managed to somehow, by the grace of God or something, escape the Celestial and head back down to Earth, using said ship to navigate alongside the stars.
And although I planned for the latter to happen, I was afraid that the first option would be the only option that would soon take place because it appears that I wasn't as sneaky or inconspicuous as I thought that I was.
Because if I had been a bit more sneaky, I definitely wouldn't have gotten caught sneaking into the cargo bay earlier and I wouldn't have been trying to weigh the pros and cons of getting caught by Commander Ophelia and her squadron of mindless drones.
And I'll be honest, I couldn't exactly find many cons to this situation when I compared it to the pros.
Yeah, I'd probably face hearing a lecture about how I broke fifty two million different international space laws and I'd probably suffer a terrible fate when I would get Casted Out but hey, was that really the worst of my problems?
I mean, sure, I'd face a horrible death but then it would be over in less than half a second and of course, I'd be reunited with Mama and Collette in Heaven when they did eventually pass away so really, what con was there to this predicament?
Well, let's see, you wouldn't exactly be alive and well to try and find Mama and this whole extravagant, law breaking, daring trip would've been for nothing plus Collette probably wouldn't ever forgive you for it if you did get Casted Out like a weak ass pussy and you didn't even try to fight back.
Now, when I really thought long and hard about it, that seemed like a bit of a con to me, to know that Collette would have to go through the rest of her life knowing that her sister tried something dangerous and she couldn't follow through with it, like Collette always said I would do.
That thought made my jaw clench up and my fists tightened with determination, I was going to prove her wrong when I brought Mama back to the Celestial.
My sister would realize that I was right all along and we'd be a happy family once again.
And if only I could figure out how to work this spaceship, we'd be all set.
After I ducked inside this old, semi dilapidated spacecraft, I could only hold my breath as I waited in the silence and the darkness felt both awkward and a bit consuming as well.
The sirens going off on the speakers outside the metal walls of the spaceship were heart stopping and almost deafening but the darkness helped to cut down on some of the noise, to muffle some of the distractions that were visibly and mentally plaguing my mind.
Biting my nails nervously as I stared into the dark surroundings that blocked my visual senses, I could feel the bubble of anxiety slowly blow up inside my chest and I tried to taper it down as best as I could.
Even though I was all for this plan, even though I still wanted to start up this spaceship and blast off like it was a goddamn spectacular rocket launch back on Earth, I was still hesitant about the whole scenario.
What if I was simply being delusional?
What if I was just going crazy and there was a simple solution to the questions ruminating around inside my head that didn't involve breaking several international space laws in the process?
I brushed those worrisome thoughts aside for the moment, I wasn't exactly concerned about looking like an idiot for going through all of this trouble for seemingly nothing other than to piss off my superiors, as that's what it appeared to look out from an outsider's point of view.
It wasn't entirely wrong, by the way, I couldn't wait to see the shock and disbelief takeover the Commander's face when I did get back, I can almost guarantee that she would shit a brick if I brought Mama back onto the Celestial.
But although I wasn't scared of looking like a buffoon in front of my friends, family and coworkers, I have to admit….I was scared of being in the wrong on the end of things.
And that was a valid fear too.
I haven't really been in the right when it came to major, life alternating decisions before so why exactly would a bout of random luck just decide to strike me this time?
And it wasn't really about being right or wrong when I truly thought about it…But I was more scared about what would happen if I was wrong after all.
What if I went through all of this trouble for nothing?
What if Earth truly was decimated like the broadcasts and announcements and Board Members of Entitled Pricks have led us to believe after cramming those facts down our throats for years?
Or what if Earth wasn't completely demolished by mankind but….What if I couldn't find Mama after all?
Or…Or she didn't want to come back with me?
Or she forgot who I was entirely?
If she forgot about me and Lettie and everything that was good in our time together?
No! Stop that!
That's enough, no more doubting and absolutely no more wallowing in self pity!
Mentally slapping myself to snap some common sense back into my delusional brain, I straightened my spine from standing hunched against one of the metal panel walls as determination sparked a fire deep inside my bones that wouldn't be extinguished until I got some goddamn answers.
Until I found my Mama.
And so, that's why I made the decision to kickstart both the engine to this awful ship and my own engine that burned inside my core, my hands reaching out to feel alongside the walls until I was able to find the automatic control button that simultaneously flipped on the lights and forced the engine turbines to the ship to creak to a start.
As the lights turned on, I was bathed in the glow of bright, white artificial light from the ceiling of the spaceship and I blinked to readjust my field of vision, my head spinning as I rapidly grew accustomed to my surroundings being that of these tight quarters.
The lights were bright, so bright that they nearly blinded me, but that was just fine as it gave me a small grace period to adjust to the new settings I was currently in; The metal walls were old and dented, rusting in parts and placed that nobody even thought rust could form in.
The lights shining down from the metal ceiling were even worse, the cracks along the panels both superficial fixes and deep embedments.
Storage containers, most of them empty, stacked as high as the eye could see littered the loading dock area of the ship and my eyebrows lifted up in surprise at the sight of the nearly cram packed loading dock.
There was no way in Hell that I could even initiate liftoff with all of this crap, I'd have to lose most of it in the process if I even wanted a shot in the dark at leaving the Celestial in one piece.
Wait…Am I actually thinking about taking this piece of crap out into space?
I was a bit weary at first of the prospect of, say, blowing up on course of reentry into Earth's atmosphere because of how outdated this ship was but after glancing out one of the smudged dusty windows and seeing the guards that were hustling towards the cargo bay, I knew I had no choice but to go with this big ol' shit box for now.
The Explorer's ship was going to be too hard to get to and by the time I'd be able to sneak into it, Commander Ophelia would have me apprehended and sentenced to death immediately following the prosecution of the countless laws I've broken in a few hours worth of time.
And so, after kicking my butt into gear so I could get this show on the road by now, I climbed over the numerous storage containers and murmured a few colorful words under my breath in the process when I accidentally banged my knee and shin on a couple of containers.
"Stupid piece of junk…"
Grumbling with annoyance, I was finally able to climb into the cockpit with only some difficulty and my fingers skimmed over the dust covered control panel, eyes lighting up just like the buttons on the metal frame board were.
Just then, something dull with a hint of a former shine caught my attention from the corner of my eye and my body leaned over the central control panel to swipe away another layer of dust that lay alongside the closest wall to the cockpit, my breath catching at the name that was displayed in old, rusted letters.
The Calypso....God, that name sounds so familiar.
I wonder why that is…
The strangest sense of deja vu came over me out of nowhere though I still couldn't figure out why, I have never even heard of the Calypso before now but somehow, deep in the back of my mind and locked inside of my memories, I felt an odd sense of familiarity being inside this specific ship.
Only I wouldn't find out until later on why that was but that was a conversation for another time.
For now, I just needed to get the fuck out of Dodge and apparently, Dodge was the Celestial.
"Okay….I can do this. I can do this. It's just like all of the illegal practice runs I've gone through in the jets when the Commander wouldn't allow me to try out again for the Explorer's…"
I mumbled these encouraging words to myself and I rubbed my hands together once before reaching out to flip open the manual engine starter button and I started up the loudly creaky engines with a small push of a button.
With a few calculated maneuvers, all mainly thanks to the half working control panel sitting dormant before me, I was able to dump most of the empty storage containers out into the cargo bay and the creaking start of the dual engines connected to the bottom half of the Calypso brought a smile to my face.
Just a few more clicks of some buttons and I'll be out of this cargo bay and out of the Celestial.
And that fact was soon proven to be true after all since when Commander Ophelia ordered the nearest established guards to apprehend me, the guards came through the closest door that led into the cargo bay which, ironically enough, was also the only way to activate the drop-open hatchback wall that would send the next ship into space.
As in, if someone didn't have on protective gear, they'd accidentally suffer a quick and moderately painful death from being Casted Out on accident.
And if I had guessed correctly, none of these guards had the required protective gear on and I cringed inwardly at the realization that they might die pretty soon here and their deaths would be placed upon my head for responsibility and accountability.
Awesome….Just. Fucking. Awesome.
Yet another thing to add to my list of talents and values; Accused murderer.
I wanted to give them a warning that if they closed that door once they charged through it, there would be no going back.
It would automatically lock, the lights above it would flash red and then, the hatchback would drop open and they would perish within seconds.
But the pane of glass situated ahead of me was too thick to shout out a warning, the words dying on the tip of my tongue as the pit in my stomach grew deeper and wider as I watched with hopelessness as the guards came through the metal door and it slammed shut with a bang.
And it was the banging sound that shocked me more than the events that played out seconds later, when the door clicked shut mere moments before the hatchback dropped open and a silent gasp fell from my lips before my ship plummeted into a cast array of darkness and turbulence.
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-Ro♥️