Leila and her friends huddled closely under the heat lamps outside of a seafood restaurant along the pier. Though it wasn't quite warm enough to eat outside now that autumn had begun, Ashlynn had been insistent they eat while watching the sunset. Leila hugged her body with her arms to try to conserve warmth. The illumination of the sun on the dark blue water was beautiful, even if she and Elena were complaining to Ashlynn about the outdoor seating choice.
"How was Gavin's wedding?" Elena asked as she cut into her fish dish.
"It was nice," Leila said. "He and Shannon are on a cruise to the Bahamas right now. I'm kind of jealous. I bet it's super warm over there."
"I wish I were in the Bahamas, too," Ashlynn complained. "But I'm glad the wedding was nice."
"It'll be refreshing not having to talk about wedding planning anymore during my family dinners," Leila noted.
"How many family members got on your back about being single?" Elena wondered. "I know you were worried about that."
Leila gulped dryly. "Actually," she said, setting her fork down, "I had the opposite problem."
"What do you mean?" Ashlynn asked.
Leila had refrained from telling her friends she'd invited Mia to the wedding, as she didn't want their teasing, but she had since realized it was stupid to be dishonest with them, especially when their suspicions about her feelings for Mia had turned out to be true.
"My mom told me I should invite Mia along, so I brought her. People thought we were girlfriends all night. I had to keep correcting them," Leila said, hiding her face in embarrassment.
Ashlynn raised an eyebrow. "You brought Mia along as your totally platonic friend date?"
"My mom suggested it!" Leila argued.
"That's kind of funny," Elena said, holding back laughter. "But how did Mia react?"
"I...finally told her I was a lesbian," Leila said. "Family members kept making comments. I realized it was stupid to keep hiding it from her."
Ashlynn gasped. "How did she take it?"
Leila glanced up, seeing her friends were staring at her with concern. "Oh, don't worry. She took it just fine. She thought it was funny more than anything else. In fact, she's still laughing at me about it," Leila said, thinking back to earlier in the morning when Mia started breaking out in laughter again. Leila was glad it amused Mia, though she wished Mia would stop reminding her of how silly it was Leila had kept her attraction to women secret.
"That's good then," Elena said. "Now you can be more honest with her."
"There wasn't a declaration of love to follow?" Ashylnn teased.
Leila glanced down into her food and grew quiet. Her friends quieted as well and stared at her.
"Sorry, Leila. I was just joking around," Ashlynn said.
Leila shook her head. "No. Um...look, I hate to admit it, especially with all the teasing, but...I realized a little while ago that I do have feelings for Mia."
Elena's eyes widened. "For real?!"
"Wait, what? I was just joking," Ashlynn said. "Don't feel like you have to have feelings for her just because I was teasing you!"
Leila took a deep breath. "No, it goes beyond that. I...I had feelings for her when we were children too, but I didn't really understand those feelings at the time. But now that we've reconnected, and I've gotten to know her again, those feelings have resurfaced, except this time I obviously can recognize they're romantic feelings."
"Leila, that's great. I'm glad you found someone you like," Elena said. "You always said you preferred meeting someone organically."
Leila sighed. "It doesn't matter much anyway. She's still with her asshole boyfriend." She shut her mouth quickly. She often assured her friends that she held no negative feelings toward Julian, but now, the truth had slipped out.
"Asshole?" Ashlynn asked. "I thought you said you didn't mind him?"
"Maybe it's just because I have feelings for Mia, and I'm jealous, but I don't like him," Leila said, gritting her teeth. "She's...different around him. I don't like who she is when she's with him. They're both so unhealthily attached to each other, and quite honestly, I think he's taking advantage of Mia. He acts like a big baby when he's with her." Leila glanced up, seeing her friends staring at her. "Sorry. I just needed to get that off my chest."
Elena laughed. "No, it's good you do. Why didn't you tell us earlier?"
"Because then I would've had to tell you that I liked Mia, and...I'm sorry. I needed some time to process my feelings," Leila explained.
"No worries, Lei. But will you tell Mia you like her?" Ashlynn asked.
Leila immediately shook her head. "How can I? She seems bent on marrying Julian at this rate. If I tell her while she's still dating him, I risk ruining the friendship I've worked so hard to build up over these past few months. In some ways, I still don't feel like Mia has opened to me completely. I just can't right now."
"I'm sorry, Leila. That's a difficult situation," Ashlynn said.
"You come to us if you need someone to talk to," Elena said. "Unrequited love is hard."
Leila felt like crying into her pasta dish right then and there, but she simply nodded and returned back to finishing her meal. When they had paid the bill, the sun had set. Dark clouds had rolled in, blocking any stars or moonlight. Leila hugged her friends tight, thanked them for listening, and headed home.
As she drove, Leila couldn't help but acknowledge the sorrow she felt. Even her friends had acknowledged it. There was nothing Leila could do at the moment when it came to her feelings for Mia. There was no appropriate way she could tell her, not when Mia was dating Julian. Either Leila would have to hold onto her feelings and suffer or pray that they faded, the latter of which was less likely considering they were feelings Leila had held since she was a child.
Leila fumbled with her keys and unlocked the door to her apartment. She heard Fuji's meows resounding from the hallway as she stepped inside. He padded over to the doorway to come greet her. Leila knelt down and scratched his chin, smiling as he purred. She glanced up, seeing Mia's bedroom door closed. Judging by the fact it remained closed, Leila wasn't expecting a welcome from Mia.
Leila's heart sunk some, but she supposed it couldn't be helped. For all she knew, Mia might be on the phone with Julian or her college friends. She wasn't always obligated to welcome Leila home.
Once Leila was inside her bedroom, she sat against her bed and buried her head in her knees. As tears rolled down her cheeks, she thought it was stupid that she was crying. Fuji was meowing at her quietly, as if he couldn't understand why either. Leila sighed and scratched his chin.
Speaking with her friends and sharing her feelings had made her glad she was being authentic, but she knew she could never tell Mia. Her love for Mia was something she strongly desired but that she knew she would never have. Thinking about that fact made Leila cry harder. She hoped Mia was already asleep.
Once Leila let herself cry for a good while, she felt tired enough to go to bed. As she climbed into her bed, tears still crusted on her cheeks, she hoped that she would sleep peacefully and the following day would be kind to her. Leila buried her face into her pillow, wrapped her covers tightly around her, and slowly drifted off with Fuji resting on the end of her bed.
Crash. Boom.
Leila weakly opened her eyes. Fuji was awake, staring at her through the darkness. Light quickly flooded Leila's bedroom with a large crash following behind.
Oh. It's a thunderstorm, Leila realized.
She sat up slowly and turned the lamp on by her nightstand. Fuji jolted under her bed with the next thunder clap. She sighed, knowing there was no use in trying to coax him out from under the bed. Fuji had never taken well to storms. Leila hoped the bad weather would pass quickly for his sake.
Knowing she wouldn't be able to fall asleep in the storm, Leila glanced around her room, debating what she should do to occupy her time. She looked at the book at her nightstand, figuring she could read for a bit until the storm passed. Fuji meowed quietly underneath her bed.
"I know. It'll be over soon," Leila murmured, feeling sorry for him.
As she reached for her book and flipped open the page, a lost memory returned to her of a sleepover she and Mia once had. They had also been awoken in the middle of the night by a thunderstorm. Leila remembered trying to turn over and just fall back asleep, but Mia had immediately turned the lights on and in a trembling voice, called for her mother. That was when Leila had learned that Mia was afraid of thunderstorms, and ever since then, Mia had always—
Leila's eyes suddenly widened in realization. She threw down her book and immediately swung her door open. In the darkened hallway, Leila could see the light peeking through the doorframe of Mia's room. Without hesitation, Leila swung the door to Mia's room open.
It was as Leila had suspected. Mia was sitting up in bed with a blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders. Her entire body appeared to be trembling. As Leila made eye contact with Mia, she noticed Mia's eyes were puffy, as if she had been crying.
"Oh. Did the storm wake you up too?" Mia asked, clearly trying to hide the trembling in her voice but failing to do so.
Leila edged closer to her bed, still saying nothing.
"S-Sorry if I woke you. I've never really liked thunderstorms..." Mia said.
Leila moved swiftly. She crawled onto Mia's bed and immediately hugged Mia toward her body. She felt Mia stiffen in her grasp, but suddenly, Mia's limbs softened, and she buried her face into Leila's shoulder. Leila could feel Mia's tears seeping through her pajama shirt, but she didn't mind. She had realized while sitting in her own bedroom that Mia's mother was no longer there to comfort Mia during thunderstorms. In fact, Leila vividly remembered a thunderstorm passing through on the evening that Mia's mother died. She wondered who had been there to comfort Mia that evening.
Poor thing, Leila thought as she stared down at Mia. Her trembling had died down some, but she still clung to Leila a little harder with each passing thunder clap. Leila outstretched her fingers, feeling hesitant at first, but eventually, she began threading her fingers through Mia's hair. Mia did not complain. Her breathing rather slowed and became calmer, so Leila continued to stroke her strands of hair.
The thunder was moving into the distance. It would be over in a matter of minutes now, Leila presumed. She opened her mouth to ask Mia if she would be okay the rest of the night, but Mia grasped onto her arm.
"Don't. Don't go," Mia begged.
Leila's heart ached. "Okay," she said.
Mia removed her grasp on Leila and stretched out on her bed. Leila was confused for a moment. If Mia was going to bed, why did she still want Leila to stay?
"C-Could you rub my back?" Mia asked. "My mom used to do that to help me fall asleep after a storm."
Leila felt herself grow flustered. "Oh! Okay."
"You can lay down beside me if that's easier," Mia murmured.
Leila nodded and stretched out on the opposite side of Mia, facing Mia's back. She reached out a hand and began rubbing lightly up and down Mia's back.
"Like this?" Leila asked.
"Mmhm," Mia murmured.
Leila stroked up and down Mia's back softly, listening to Mia's breaths become deeper. The thunder grew more distant before subsiding completely. While rain continued to trickle down the windows, the storm finally appeared over. Mia's breath was slow and soft. Leila assumed she was finally asleep.
Leila slowly removed her hand from Mia's back, happy to see that Mia continued resting calmly. Leila glanced up at Mia's door, guessing that maybe it was time to head back to her own bed, but she wasn't sure if Mia would wake up upset to find her gone, and besides, Mia's mattress was much softer than Leila's. Leila's eyes grew drowsy, and before she knew it, she had also drifted off to sleep.