If anything, squad meetings were taken extremely seriously within the Bakusquad. Katsuki had discovered that the hard way when he didn't show up within an hour after one of those meetings was called. So he knew that even if it was the middle of the night, the squad would be at his door within minutes. Definitely because he was the one who called for it. Katsuki never calls for a squad meeting.
So there they were, Ashido nervously fiddling with the strings of her pants, Kirishima's hair a mess now that it wasn't gelled up, Kaminari still half asleep and Sero giving him a death glare.
"Dude, do you have any idea what time it is?"
"If we're not going to talk about this now, we'll never fucking talk about it" Katsuki huffed, making sure everyone had settled down before starting the meeting.
"What are you talking about?" Kirishima frowned, glancing at Mina.
"Wait, did you-"
"This shit ain't about her, Ei" Katsuki said, instantly earning their attention. Bakugou always used his own stupid nicknames for them unless there was something serious going on. They remembered their first conversation with him after the League kidnapped him. The ash blonde hadn't used a nickname once and it scared the crap out of them.
"Actually, no, it is about her. About all of you idiots who think you can just keep suffering in silence without telling me shit" Katsuki added.
"Look, it's not my fault you're all messed up, alright? Hell, I'm messed up, too. But at least we can talk about it, right? I can't help if I don't know what the hell is going on, okay? And it's fucking frustrating!"
"Wait, what? I don't understand" Kaminari mumbled, rubbing his eye as he lifted his head from Kirishima's shoulder. Katsuki sighed. He knew this moment would come, he just had to spit it out.
"I have nightmares, okay?" he breathed.
"About being attacked and kidnapped and being absolutely helpless... About the fall of All Might, about how everyone sees me as a villain... I mean, if I even catch any fucking sleep at all"
The squad wasn't expecting him to open up like that all of the sudden, just staring at the boy in shocked silence.
"I sweat nitroglycerin" Katsuki continued.
"It's a natural muscle relaxer. The only way my heart can keep beating is if my body is under a constant state of stress, hence the...explosive personality, I guess... It makes it real fucking hard to relax or to fall asleep, which is why I go to bed so early in the hopes of getting a few more hours. It makes me self-conscious, in a way. Reminds me how shitty my quirk really is. Tch, just my luck right? Having a villainous quirk that won't let me fucking sleep-"
Katsuki cut himself off when Kirishima hugged him. The red head was crying, and Katsuki discovered that so was he. Fucking hell. He didn't mean to get all sappy about this shit!
"I'm messed up" he choked out.
"And I hate it! I hate that I feel like a shitty villain and I hate that I have such a low self-esteem and I hate the damn nightmares and I hate that I can't chill the fuck out! I hate that none of you tell me shit! I hate that even though we're friends, I always feel left out! Fucking talk to me!"
After that Katsuki broke down, just letting it all out as he sobbed in Kirishima's arms. The red head told him about something that happened during his middle school days after he calmed down a bit. About how he froze up in the face of danger, about how he wasn't a hero at all.
"I dyed my hair red to prove a point, to change myself" he muttered.
"But I'm still the same coward I was before... My quirk isn't anything special either. Everyone else is just so much better than me and I-"
"Dude" Kaminari interrupted.
"You literally set up the Bakurescuesquad and dove in to save him. I think that alone makes you really manly"
"And your quirk is awesome! Just because it's not flashy, doesn't mean it's not valid!" Mina nodded, biting her lip.
"And now that we're sharing and stuff, I guess I have to say some things too... About the nightmares I've been having a-and the way I've been coping with them"
"I thought you quit" Kirishima whispered.
"Blasty finding me led to this meeting" she explained, guilt stricken by the hurt look her friend was giving her.
"She didn't do anything" Katsuki clarified.
"Didn't do what?" Sero asked.
"I've been cutting... To release the tension" Ashido whispered.
"I feel like I deserve to be hurt more. I don't deserve to feel this freaked out about everything when you've all been through so much worse! I didn't even catch the worst of the villain attacks and I'm still a mess!"
"Oi, all trauma is valid, got that?"
Nobody expected that to come from Kaminari, of all people.
"You don't have to be attacked by villains to be traumatized, okay? I... I have nightmares too. Not about the League, but about my parents" the electric blonde mumbled, pulling the pillow he was holding closer to his chest.
"I lack the self-isolation all my relatives seem to have when it comes to my quirk. So I hurt myself when using it. It means I'm a failure. A speck of dirt on the family's reputation and pride"
"That's fucking bullshit" Katsuki hissed.
"Yeah, well, it's not like I fail at every quirk training we have. Oh wait! I do!" Kaminari exclaimed, tears shining in his eyes.
"It's only because Midoriya helped me that I'm even getting a grip on my quirk... My own quirk!"
"I know what it's like to have a quirk that attacks your own body, Denki. You don't have to fucking tell me" Katsuki grunted. It was silent for a moment after that and for a while it seemed like that was it. Like the meeting was over, and with it, their little bonding moment.
"How the hell are any of you still alive?" Sero breathed, tears silently rolling down his cheeks.
"And I thought... I thought I was the only one who... Fuck"
Katsuki knew what he was implying, knew that he was seeing Hound Dog to help him with his depression and suicidal thoughts. But he only knew those things because Deku could read minds, because Sero could hide that shit like a fucking pro.
"I'm depressed. There, I said it" Sero said.
"I'm in therapy because I can't stop thinking about killing myself and I don't even have the family trauma or nightmares to back it up! My head is just so fucking messed up-"
"And that's fine" Katsuki interrupted.
"It's...fine to not be okay. I've been trying to accept that lately... Besides, you're getting help and that's the most important part"
"Yeah, guess you were right" Kaminari snorted.
"We're all messed up"
"Deku would hit you if he heard you say that" Katsuki mumbled.
"Fucking nerd's been trying to slap sense into me ever since he found out I think of myself as... Well, not a villain, but that's what everyone else sees, isn't it?"
"That's not true, you're great Blasty! And everyone who doesn't see that is blind" Ashido stated.
"It's kinda cute Midoriya is doing that for you" Kirishima smiled, poking Katsuki in his side. The ash blonde blushed, trying to hide it but knowing he failed when he heard Ashido gasp.
"Mina, I swear, if a word of this leaves this room-" he started.
"You have a crush on Midoriya!" she gasped, making sure everyone heard loud and clear.
"Why didn't you tell me?! You told Kirishima before you told me?! That's so unfair Bakugou! I can set you up! You two would make such a cute couple, I can't believe I didn't think about this sooner! I mean, Midoriya is basically gushing all over you already so all you have to do is confess and he'll-"
"Shut up, I don't need to do shit" Katsuki hissed.
"Yeah, they're already dating~" Kirishima grinned, wiggling his eyebrows as Katsuki's face flushed pink.
"Oh. My. God" Kaminari said, totally flabbergasted.
"Dude" Sero breathed.
"We haven't even been on a date yet!" Katsuki quickly added before Mina could yell at him.
"And you promised me to keep quiet, you fucking traitor!"
Before he had the chance to attack Kirishima, he was pushed back onto his bed, his shoulders pressed onto the mattress by Ashido as she glared him down.
"Bakugou"
The way she said his name made chills run down his spine. For a second, Katsuki was petrified, pretty sure he was going to die right there and then.
"When is your first date"
"I-I don't know, we haven't-" Katsuki stammered.
"Do you know what you're going to do on your first date?" she asked.
"I've been thinking about it but-" Katsuki frowned, realizing what was going on when the pink girl squealed.
"Alright! Say no more! I'm on the case!"
"What? I didn't give you permission to fucking-"
"Blasty" she stated, shushing him.
"You didn't tell me about any of this until now. You're going to let me plan your first date whether you want it or not"
Katsuki had a silent staring contest with her after that, lasting barely a minute before he sighed and let his head fall back in defeat.
"Deku can't dress himself for shit, so you'll be responsible for his outfit too, got it?"
"You say that like I wasn't already planning on dressing up the both of you" she deadpanned.
"Oi, I'm not a damn doll, Raccoon eyes"
"And the nicknames are back" Sero chuckled.
"Is the meeting over then? Because it's the middle of the night and I actually want to sleep"
"Sleepover?" Kaminari suggested.
"But it's a school night" Kirishima frowned.
"Pfft, you sound like four eyes" Katsuki snorted.
"Whatever, I don't care if you dumbasses crash here for the night"
"Yes, sleepover!" Ashido exclaimed, happy to claim a spot on the bed. Katsuki ended up rolling out an extra futon, Kirishima getting a spare futon from his room next door. When Katsuki's alarm sounded through the room in the morning, nobody wanted to get up.
"Slept well?" Kirishima asked.
"I didn't have any nightmares, so that's nice" Ashido smiled.
"What about you guys?"
"Nope!" Kaminari told them, Sero nodding beside him as he yawned. Katsuki stayed silent, simply staring up at the ceiling.
"You okay, Bakubro?"
"Yeah, I'm fine" he muttered.
"Just...didn't get much sleep, is all"
"You should talk to Shinsou about that. He's an insomniac too, you know? He might have a few tricks to help you out" Denki brought up as he tried to comb away his bed hair with his hands.
"Yeah whatever, just get out of here before emergency exit finds out we had a damn slumber party on a school night and starts lecturing the shit out of us" Katsuki sighed, crawling up from his bed.
"Ugh, dude, it's way too early to be lectured" Sero groaned.
"We'll get out of your hair bro" Kirishima said with a tired smile, following Mina out of his room. Sero tugged Kaminari along, shutting the door behind them.
Now that they were gone, his room felt empty. Katsuki felt like a weight fell off his shoulders, glad he finally told them, that he got over himself and got that emotional shit over and done with. The squad was closer now, at least from where he was standing. And that was a good thing, wasn't it? Yeah, that was good... This was nice. He could trust them, he knew that for certain now.
By the time he got downstairs, Iida was already lecturing the rest of the squad about responsibility and how sleep was important. How the hell did glasses find out about their sleepover so fast?!
"Bakugou! I expected better from you!" he started once he saw the ash blonde enter the kitchen. Katsuki groaned, trying to get by unnoticed but obviously failing miserably.
"Shut up glasses, you don't know what the hell you're talking about" Katsuki hissed as he opened up the fridge. He felt a tap on his shoulder, ready to lash out at whoever it was, only for his glare to falter when looking into the dark green eye of his boyfriend.
[I made breakfast for you] he signed with a smile.
[It's nothing much, but I wanted to return the favor]
"Thanks nerd" Katsuki mumbled, a tired smile tugging on his lips as he sat down at the table. Apparently Deku had managed to make some toast and orange juice without ruining the kitchen, call him impressed. Izuku kicked him underneath the table, probably hearing his thoughts. Tch, keep your nosy ass out of my brain, Deku. Unfortunately their little moment was disrupted when Ashido slammed her hands on the table next to them, startling Izuku so much that he almost jumped out of his chair.
"Midoriya, we need to talk"
His eyes widened, quickly looking at Kacchan.
[She knows?! I thought you wanted to keep it a secret?]
[The whole squad knows after our emotional breakdown last night. She wants to arrange our first date] Katsuki signed back, knowing only Kaminari and Koda could understand what he was saying. He trusted Koda not to blab if the animal guy were to see his gestures.
[What? But that's-] Izuku started, only to be yanked out of his chair by the pink girl.
"Kami, come on! I need you to translate!"
With that, the three of them vanished from the common room. Ah well, as long as they were on time for class, nobody would blink an eye. Except Iida, who was still pissed that they do blatantly disrespected the dorm rules he set for them.
"Iida, give it a rest" Jirou groaned.
"It's way too early for you to be this loud"
"She's right" Uraraka pointed out.
"Besides, it's not that bad, right? As long as they don't fall asleep at their desks today, who cares?"
"Uraraka, must I remind you that rules are enforced for a reason!" Iida countered, chopping the air with his hands.
"Dude, stop already" Sero whined.
"We get it, rules are important. Now can you let us eat in peace?"
"I'm not done yet-!"
"Yes you are!" Katsuki roared, setting off a few explosions for good measure.
"You really wanna test my fucking patience today glasses?! Wanna go?!"
"Alright! Let's just chill out, okay?" Kirishima smiled, quickly stepping in between them before things could escalate.
"Whatever, I'm out of here" Katsuki grumbled. His morning was ruined.