Trigger warning;
Mentions of SA.
Suicidal thoughts.
A storm was brewing.
The sky was overcast, heavy with dark clouds and the temperature dwindled to minus zero degrees. The rain pelted against the concrete, a constant splat splat splat echoing in the background, mixed with the sound of rumbling thunder as lightning illuminated the darkness, reflecting from the murky waters below.
Leo was shivering, his teeth chattering loudly as goosebumps arose on his reddened skin, his now-soaked thin school shirt and black polyester dress pants doing nothing to shield him from the torrential weather. His crimson stained cheeks burned from the ice-like gusts, his skin tingling as though it had been touched with a lit cigarette.
He couldn't quite remember how he'd gotten to this specific bridge, nor could he recall climbing over the worn-down metal railing, the same railing that was now harshly gripped in his palms, the chipped rusted parts cutting through his skin as crimson fell to the concrete edge like raindrops from his palm.
Jump.
The voices continued to taunt him, filling his mind with the same nonsense he'd heard fine and time again, though this time instead of ignoring them like he usually would, Leo was contemplating their words.
Why shouldn't he jump?
What is there to keep him here?
His brothers hated him now, they'd all made that very clear with the words they'd not long spoken, or should Leo say screamed. Lily was terrified of him, not that he could blame her, Leo was terrified of himself too.
And then there's Emilio. Fuck, Leo didn't want to leave him, he'd never felt a feeling so deeply to that he did for the grey-eyed boy, one that he didn't quite understand. There was nothing he wanted more than to run off into the sunset with Emilio and live their happily ever after, but this wasn't a fairy tale and that dream that Leo longed for would never play out, he wouldn't let it.
He couldn't.
Em deserved so much better, he deserved someone who wouldn't break promises, he deserved someone who could show him within their touch just how much they loved him, he deserved someone just as perfect as himself.
He deserved everything that Leo could never give.
So what was there to stay for?
Just one step and he'd be free; body, mind and soul.
Just one step and he could finally let go.
One step and all his pain would be gone.
THREE DAYS EARLIER
After thirty minutes of numbness, Leo picked himself up from the floor.
His trembling hands reached out for his clothes, grasping the material tightly between his fingers before quickly dressing himself, wincing lowly as he did.
God he was sore, so fucking sore. His neck was stinging, his back was in agony, his stomach cramping into knots. And his mind... fuck, everything was too much, too overwhelming, too painful.
Making his way to the en-suite connected to Atlas' parents room, Leo rushed to the toilet bowl throwing up the contents of his stomach, gagging with each and every pained heave as he gripped the ceramic bowl tightly.
He sank to the floor, laying his forehead on the cool off-white tiles, inhaling a shaky breath before breaking down.
It was one of those moments where you cried so hard that you couldn't breathe, where your throat hurt from your wails and your eyes burned from the overflow of tears.
It was so achingly painful, but yet so refreshing to just let it all out.
No matter how hard Leo tried, he couldn't stop. Every emotion poured from his soul as he cried for every single unwanted touch, every single unwanted feeling, every single unwanted voice.
Everything.
Every. Single. Thing.
He wrapped his arms protectively around himself, curling into a ball before he pulled his knees to his chest, providing himself with a comfort he couldn't — no matter how hard he wished — allow from others.
Everything he'd switched himself off to always returned as the devil left, leaving Leo to pick up the pieces from the hurt he'd caused.
Piece by piece.
Leo couldn't help but blame himself, he had a full list of what if's in his mind; what if he'd just stayed with his brothers? What if he hadn't drowned his sorrows in alcohol? What if he hadn't consumed the unknown drugs? What if he'd been stronger? What if he'd tried harder? What if he'd dressed differently? What if he'd kept a hold of Em's hand and just simply grounded himself, instead of running off like a coward?
Emilio.
Leo's sobs grew harder, tears, snot and saliva all mixing into one as he gasped for a breath.
I can't breathe.
He broke his promise.
Fuck, how could he do this? The promise was less than twelve hours ago, — give or take, Leo had no fucking clue what time it was — yet he's broken it already.
He couldn't even last a day.
Weak.
So fucking pathetic.
Leo had let Emilio down, he'd failed and he knew for a fact that he would always fail.
Time and time again.
***
Callan was pacing, his sneaker covered feet making indents on the grass with every repeated step he took.
One hour.
One whole hour and no sign of Leo.
He'd received a text from his youngest brother roughly forty-five minutes ago, a vague message about him needing to be alone.
Callan couldn't help but feel uneasy, his mind nagging at him, telling him that something was wrong. As ridiculous as it may sound, the message was nothing like one Leo would send.
Unlike Carter and Kaden, Leo always worded his texts properly, using the correct grammar, always claiming that he hated the shortened version of 'you' and the use of numbers instead of a simple two-to-three letter word.
Glancing at the message, for what must've been the twentieth time, Callan's frown only deepened.
Leo: Gone 4 a walk. Need space 2 think, B back soon.
Leo wouldn't type like that, Callan knew that for a fact. And with that thought in his mind, Callan's anxiety sky-rocketed.
"Cal?"
At the sound of his name, Callan turned to face Emilio, the grey-eyed boys cheeks were flushed crimson as he inhaled a heavy panting breath.
"Anything?" Callan asked quickly, his eyes almost pleading for Emilio to say the three letter word, he was so desperate to hear.
Em glanced at the older boy, his shoulders deflating as he shook is head solemly, "Nothing." He admitted, a slight hint of agitation in his tone.
Where the fuck was Leo?
Emilio was growing more and more nervous, his hands shaking as he prayed for Leo to just magically appear. He'd ran round the whole block searching for his best friend, he'd even gone as far as to check their treehouse, knowing that Leo enjoyed spending time there when things became overwhelming for him.
Nope, na da, nothing.
"Fuck!" Callan practically growled, running a hand through his curls he exhaled audibly. "Somethings not right, even his message... it's just... ugh, I don't even know." He shook his head, feeling somewhat stupid due to his own exclaim.
He was just being paranoid, that was all it was... right? Leo had wrote the message in a rush, that would explain the strange layout.
Yeah, that's it.
If only he knew...
Emilio frowned at Callan's words, his heart rate picking up ever-so-slightly. "What message?" He asked anxiously, whilst subconsciously tapping his foot on the grass.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
Callan sighed as he pulled his phone from his pocket, handing the device to Emilio. "He sent me that not long after you left." He nodded his head toward the text.
Emilio gazed at the message, his frown deepening as his cheeks grew redder in anger. Leo never sent this, Emilio knew that and he also knew exactly who had sent it.
Fuck!
Handing Callan his phone back, or more like shoving the phone into the older boys hands, Em kissed his teeth, his jaw clenching as he tried his hardest to suppress his anger and rising fear. "I'm gonna search the rooms."
"I think the twins already searched." Callan admitted. He'd sent twins to search the rooms upstairs, whilst Jack and Alex searched downstairs and Ace... Callan had no fucking clue where he'd gone. "Carter's gone home to check if he's there."
"I'm just going to do another sweep, won't do any harm." Emilio smiled tightly. "Where's Lily?" He asked, after failing to hear Callan mention his friends name.
"She's with Rafe." Callan ran a stressed hand through his hair. "She's worried that Leo's upset with her. Y'know, cause of what Maya said."
"He won't be upset with her, he'll be upset with himself." Emilio admitted tensely. Yet another thing Leo had to torture himself with, fuck this was the last thing he needed.
"Yeah, that's what I said." Callan nodded with a slight frown. He didn't want Leo to feel responsible for Lily's fear, he knew his younger brother had only pushed her due to his panicked state. "Though I don't think it made her feel any better."
Emilio shrugged uncaringly, "She shouldn't have said that to Maya in the first place."
"Em..." Callan tilted his head, his frown deepening. "That's not fair, she thought she was confiding in a friend." He reasoned.
"She's got nine brothers, excluding Le, that she could've confided in. Instead of a girl who was Leo's friend too, that's just talking shit behind his back." Emilio ranted as his protectiveness grew.
He didn't blame Lily for needing some comfort after her confrontation with Leo, though he did blame her for her choices as to whom she choose to confide in.
If Lily didn't want to speak to her brothers about it, she could've spoken to Rafe, or even Sofia. You don't share things like that with a mutual friend, just as proven a little over an hour ago, it only makes things messy.
Before Callan could respond, Emilio began to walk away. He didn't have time for Callan's shitty pep talk, he needed to find Leo. "I'm going to keep looking." He called over his shoulder to the older boy.
***
After checking each of the rooms downstairs, Emilio pushed his way through the crowds of drunken teens, making a bee-line for the staircase.
Taking the stairs two at a time, Emilio began his search; the main bathroom, Elliot's room, the spare bedroom. His hand gripped the silver handle of Atlas' parents bedroom door, pushing it open. As his eyes took in the scene before him, Em gasped in horror.
The bed was messy, the throw pillows and comforter, all out of place, a layer of crimson coated one of the white pillows, as well as a few bloodied hand prints on the white linen sheets.
No, no, no, no, no.
"Oh god." Emilio mumbled to himself, holding a hand over his mouth as he prayed this was not what he thought.
Please no.
A sob broke Em from his shock induced trance, his eyes darting to the closed white door of the en-suite. His feet lead him to the door before his mind could even process his actions, his hand pushed down on the handle, almost breaking the wood as Emilio practically threw the door open.
As his eyes took in the scene before him, Em could feel his heart breaking in his chest.
"Leo..." He whispered, moving closer to his best friend, his hands trembling as he took in his state. Fuck, Em felt like he was dreaming, no, he couldn't describe this as a dream, it was a nightmare.
His worst nightmare.
Leo's tear-stained face was blotchy and red, his chin was pressed deeply to his chest, as his hands clutched his knees, holding them tightly to his sternum, almost as though he was trying to hug himself.
Stopping a few meters from Leo as not to startle him, Em dropped to his knees, laying his palm flat to the cool tiles before edging it closer to his best friend, being cautious as not to touch him.
"Le, I'm here amore, I'm here." He whispered gently, his voice strained, filled with sheer pain.
"E-Emmy." Came Leo's broken whimper. "Emmy." He repeated, his sobs resuming as his blood shot teary blues met a set of concerned stormy greys.
"I'm here, Le." Emilio gulped down the lump in his throat, trying his best to blink away the tears in his eyes. "Can... can I hold your hand amore?" He asked softly.
He didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to comfort Leo right now. Touch was Emilio's form of comfort and love, but he knew Leo wouldn't appreciate something as intimate as a hug right now.
Leo nodded weakly, wincing slightly due to the pain in his nape as the broken skin rubbed against the floor. Slowly, he unlatched one arm from his knees, copying Emilio's actions as he placed his hand palm side down on the tiles, cautiously moving it closer to Em's.
Just as their pinky's brushed, Em stayed still, allowing Leo to make the next move.
Leo locked their pinky fingers together, his eyes never leaving Emilio's as he whispered in a broken voice, "I'm sorry."
"No." Emilio shook his head, his pinky gripping Leo's tighter. "You have nothing to be sorry for Le, nothing. This is not your fault."
"I b-broke our promise." Leo admitted shakily, his lip trembling. "It hasn't even b-been a day and I've already let y-you down." He cast his eyes to the floor in shame.
Fuck, Emilio wanted nothing more than to crush Leo in a hug right now. "Amore, you could never let me down. Please look at me."
Leo slowly pulled himself into a sitting position, before he lifted his head, the wound on his neck revealing itself as he did, causing Emilio's eyes to widen.
"What the fuck has he done to you." Em whispered in horror.
"I didn't w-want him to, I promise Emmy, I-I didn't. I-I didn't—"
"Le, hey." Emilio whispered, pushing his anger down as he softened his gaze. "I know mio amore, I know."
Leo moved closer to Emilio, their shoulders brushing slightly as he perched himself beside his best friend. Em provided Leo with a form of comfort, a comfort he didn't quite understand, but just being around Emilio somewhat soothed Leo's demons.
Leo unlatched his pinky from Emilio's before latching onto the latter's hand and interwinding their fingers completely.
"Thank you Emmy." He mumbled softly, laying his head on the older boys shoulder.
"Anything for you amore." Emilio whispered, resting his check on the younger boys curls.
Absolutely anything.
***
The two boys sat in a comfortable silence for close to thirty minutes.
It was calming for Leo, Emilio's presence simply had that effect.
The grey-eyed boy continued to brush his thumb along the back of Leo's hand, hoping his subtle touch would do something — anything to help.
"We need to clean the wound Le." Emilio whispered, "I don't want you getting an infection."
Leo nodded dejectedly, he understood Emilio's concerns, but he couldn't care. So what if he got an infection, he could have much more than that considering the devils lack of protection. "Okay." He mumbled hoarsely, his throat feeling scratchy and raw from his previous sobs.
"C'mon," Em gently moved Leo so he could stand up. "There should be some sort of alcohol rub in here." He gestured with his hands toward the small cupboard perched on the wall above the sink.
Emilio rummaged through the small cubby, pulling out multiple lady products as he calls them, before finding a small bottle of antiseptic at the very back. "Gotcha."
"Sit here Le." Emilio patted the marble countertop, Leo complied with his best friends wishes, perching himself on the countertop with his legs dangling over the edge.
"Can I stand here?" Emilio asked, gesturing to the space between Leo's legs.
"Mhm." Leo hummed, feeling a hint of warmth at the fact Emilio had asked him first. "That's fine."
"Tilt your head to the side," Emilio told Leo, whilst he picked up the small bottle and a few cotton pads, pouring some of the alcohol on three of the small cotton rounds. "This might sting a little amore, I'm sorry." He admitted sympathetically.
"M'not a baby Em," Leo rolled his eyes, "I can handle it. Go ahead."
Emilio spent the next four minutes thoroughly cleaning the puncture wounds, taking extra time and care as not to hurt Leo.
"Shouldn't we go get you like an injection or something?" Emilio asked with a frown, the marks looked pretty deep. "I can't remember the name... y'know, one of those jags you get if you've been bit by a dog... do you know what I'm talking about?"
Leo sighed audibly, gosh Em was so easily worried. "I think it's fine Em, I wasn't bit by a dog."
"Coulda' fooled me." Emilio muttered under his breath, clenching his jaw as he moved his eyes to the floor. He didn't want Leo to misunderstand his anger.
"Emmy." Leo sighed again, gripping Emilio's jaw, he tilted the older boys head up, blue meeting grey as their eyes locked. "I'm okay, alright?" He whispered, moving his hand to Emilio's cheek, caressing the skin with a brush of his thumb. "Calm down tesoro."
Emilio exhaled softly, placing his hand on top of Leo's, basking in the warmth of his touch. "You're not okay Le, nothing about this situation is okay. We need to do something, he can't get away with doing this, I won't let him keep doing this to you."
"There's nothing we can do Em, I don't know how to get him to stop." He whispered, cutting Emilio off as the older boy went to speak. "I don't want to talk about this anymore, please, not right now." Leo admitted softly, dropping his forehead against Emilio's.
"Okay, but can we talk about it soon Le? I can't sit back and do nothing whilst you're getting hurt, I can't, I won't." Emilio whispered, a hint of determination in his tone.
"Mhm, soon." Leo hummed.
After a few seconds of silence, Em spoke up, a light smirk playing on his lips. "Did you just call me a pet name? I must be going insane because I'm sure I heard you say tesoro?"
"Fuck off." Leo laughed, pulling back from his best friend, before lightly smacking his shoulder. "You're such a dick."
Emilio grinned, teeth and all. "You love me."
"I do, and right now I'm questioning why."
"Rude." Emilio pouted, the ping of his phone catching both boys attention. "That's probably Callan." He said, pulling his phone from the pocket of his jeans before glancing at the screen. "Yup, it's Cal." He confirmed, showing Leo the text. "We should head down, they've all been worried about you."
Leo sighed, dropping his head against the wall with a light thud. "Yeah, I need to find a jumper or something to cover my neck."
Emilio nodded, "Atlas should have one." He held his hand out towards Leo. "C'mon, we'll grab one from his room on the way."
Leo hopped off the counter, quickly splashing his face with some cold water, before accepting Emilio's outstretched hand.
Both boys then making their way to Atlas' bedroom.
***
"Is that?"
"Mhm."
"This is so unexpected."
"Mhm."
"I'm so shook right now."
"Mhm."
"Atlas is one lucky little fucker."
"Hey!" Leo voiced loudly, turning to glare at his best friend.
"Aw amore, don't be jealous, you're the only one for me." Em winked, sniggering as Leo rolled his eyes. He'd only said that to get a reaction other than 'mhm'. "Now shut up, we don't want to wake them up." Emilio scolded, holding a finger to his lips before nodding his head towards the two sleeping shirtless boys, their lower halves covered with the bedspread. "You think they're naked?" He whispered.
"I have no idea, probably?" Leo shrugged, his eyes constantly blinking in disbelief. "What an odd pairing." He mumbled.
"Odd indeed, so fucking hot though."
"Emilio." Leo all but whined, "Can you not, I really don't need to hear you gushing over my brother. Was going on a date with one of them not enough for you?" He raised an eyebrow.
Emilio gasped, holding a hand over his heart in mock hurt. "That was a misunderstanding! And you need to admit, they are a hot pair."
Leo gagged, "He's my brother Em, brother!"
"Yes, and he's a very very very hot brother." Emilio leaned against the door pane nonchalantly.
He loved nothing more than winding Leo up, especially if it meant taking his mind off the events of tonight.
Leo blinked, twice, thrice. "You're disgusting."
Emilio shrugged, "Meh, I've been called worse."
"Can you two shut the fuck up."
"Oh Ace, fancy seeing you here." Emilio grinned, pushing himself off the wood before stalking closer to the bed. "I didn't expect you to be the little spoon. Say, if you and Ati aren't official, wanna come back to mine? I've always wanted a spooning buddy... or maybe we could, fork?"
Ace lifted his head from the pillow, his eyes glaring at Emilio. "I will hurt you if you don't fuck off right now Em."
"Your threats are pointless," Em smirked, his voice dropping lower as he whispered, "I have a pain kink."
"Fucking hell." Leo banged his head lightly on the wall, keeping his body sideways as to hide his neck. "Em, c'mon."
Ace removed his eyes from Emilio, his azure gaze moving to his younger brother. "You okay bambino?"
"M'fine," Leo mumbled, his own lips twitching into a smirk. "So... you and Ati huh?" He nodded his head towards the sleeping boy. "How cute."
"Not a word of this to anyone." Ace threatened, subconsciously pulling Atlas closer. "And shut up before you both wake him, get what you need and piss off."
"Or we could join you?" Emilio wiggled his eyebrows jokingly.
"Brother Em, he's my brother."
Ace stared at Emilio in disgust before moving his eyes to Leo, "Le, get him out before I hurt him."
"You guys are no fun." Emilio whined with a pout.
A Lombardi sandwich... ah that would be the dream. Atlas would just be an added extra, a bit like mustard on a burger, you appreciate it, but it's not really needed.
In no way was Em dissing Atlas. Not at all, he loved that handsome little shit, but that love was like the love he had for Enzo; brotherly, nothing more, nothing less.
Leo quickly grabbed a high neck hoodie from Atlas closet, pulling it on before grabbing Emilio's arm and dragging him from the room before Ace killed him.
"Why must you flirt with all of my siblings Em?" Leo asked as they walked downstairs.
"I don't flirt with all of them." Emilio frowned. He totally does, well all bar Grey, he's a whiny little bitch. When it comes to older men, Emilio likes a Dom kinda vibe, y'know... like Zac.
Leo's his number one though. He'd pick him over anyone, even big daddy Z.
Leo raised an eyebrow. What a fucking liar."Yes you do."
"Are you calling me a whore Le?" Emilio gasped. "Slut shaming in this day and age, how could you?" He wiped his fake tears.
Leo rolled his eyes, "God you're so dramatic."
"No I'm not!" He huffed, his eyes dancing around the room. "There's Callan, c'mon." Emilio held Leo's hand tighter, pushing through the crowd until they reached the rest of the Lombardi siblings, minus Lily.
***
"Le!" Callan breathed a breathe of relief, reaching out to hug his brother. His eyebrows furrowing into a frown as Leo stepped back. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, where have you been?" Carter asked, his eyes roaming every inch of his younger brother, making sure he was okay.
"I fell asleep upstairs." Leo shrugged nervously, pulling the collar of Atlas' hoodie higher. "I didn't mean to worry you guys. I'm sorry, I should've text one of you."
Emilio's eyes widened ever-so-slightly as Callan's frown deepened.
Shit.
"You didn't text?" Cal asked slowly.
Emilio squeezed Leo's hand, trying his best to silently signal to him that Marco had text from his phone. He should really learn morse code, or maybe sign language? How great would that be in this kind of situation?
Wait... is morse code dots? Or tapping? Or...Em had no clue. Maybe he'll just stick to what he knows, which is English and Italian, both of which being pretty fucking useless right now.
"Um, maybe? I'm not sure, I was pretty tired." Leo lied, noticing Callan's suspicious gaze whilst feeling Em squeeze his hand.
"Hm, okay..." Callan responded, completely unconvinced by Leo's statement. If he was going for a nap... why would his text say walk?
"I thought you both checked upstairs?" Jack turned to the twins with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh, well, you see..." Killian stammered, turning to Kaden.
"We, um, got sidetracked..." Kaden mumbled nervously.
"Side tracked by what?" Alex asked with a raised eyebrow.
Strip poker and beer pong...
"That's not important," Kaden waved his hand trying to brush them off.
"What Kade is trying to say, is that it doesn't matter now. Leo's okay, that's the main thing." Killian reasoned.
"Can I stay at yours tonight? And maybe tomorrow too?" Leo whispered to Em as his brothers continued to grill the twins.
"Of course amore, no need to ask."
Leo nodded with a thankful smile, before turning to his brothers. "We're leaving." He announced, his words silencing their interrogation.
"Leaving?" Jack repeated, they'd just found him and now he's leaving again? "Where are you going?"
"I'm gonna stay at Em's tonight." Leo admitted, turning to Callan. "Is that okay?"
Callan kissed his teeth, he'd rather Leo went home with him and after the events of tonight, he's sure Zac would prefer that too. Not that the eldest Lombardi had any clue... yet.
"I'd rather you came home Le, especially after... everything that happened earlier." Callan slowly admitted, both Jack and Alex nodding in agreement.
Leo's shoulders sagged in defeat, he didn't want to go home, he needed Emilio.
"Please Cal,"
"Let him stay at Em's." Carter nudged his older brother, god Callan's such a mom. "I'll stay with Enzo, Le won't be alone Cal."
"Am I invisible?" Emilio questioned aloud.
All the boys ignored Em as Callan sighed. "Fine, you can stay."
"Thanks Cal." Leo exhaled softly. "See you guys tomorrow." Or Monday.
"So movies and ice-cream, when we get to mine?" Emilio asked as Leo practically dragged him away from the older boys.
Leo smiled softly, "As long as it's chocolate ice-cream."
***
End of chapter 20.
I just love a twist.
What you guys think? What will happen within the next two days to lead Leo to where he is...
A very big 'confrontation' coming next...
Emilio has my heart😩
Next update will hopefully be tomorrow!
Vote, comment, follow... etc etc etc ❤️
4532 words.