"Jisung marry me!"
"What ?"
"Marry me Jisung! Duh "
To the then 4 years old Wookjin this was the most logical step forward
"Marry you???"
But to the 8 year old Jisung , this was absurd
Yes he liked Wookjin , Wookjin was jisung favourite
Had been since the day the brown haired boy had shifted over the house beside him a year ago
The day the little toddler and waddle toward him in all yellow raincoat and blue rain boots , his cheeks all puffed up and flushed , eyes all narrowed , being not able see too well cause of the heavy rain umbrella cap on his head , as he passed the bunch of daisies clenched in his fist towards jisung
"A fren-sheep giiift" the toddler had babbled and at that moment jisung really really liked Wookjin
He does now too
really!!! But , Jisung doesn't wanna get married , not now , from what he had heard from His own mother , if he got married , then he would have to cook and clean for Wookjin and buy him gifts and take all his responsibility
Jisung really likes Wookjin. You just have to realise that He just isn't ready for marriage.
Jisung had said this to Song Yeri too , the pretty girl from school who had asked to marry him not too long ago
Jisung had turned her down cause he didn't wanna marry her .
But as Wookjin stares at Jisung with his huge eyes full of hope , Jisung can't let him down
He remembers how much Yeri had cried after Jisung had turned her down , and Jisung can't let Wookjin cry
Cause really, if Wookjins bring grin faded away to silent tears , and upturned lips , and soft sniffles , just like it had when He broke his favourite dinosaur toy
Jisung knows he would soon follow
So he did the only logical thing he could think of
"When am older I will "
__________________________
As the 10 year old Wookjin runs across the fair his eyes bright as he takes in everything around him
"Hyung! Hyung! Look! That! That guy! He is floating!" Wookjin points to a magician performing a trick
Sitting on air
"I wonder what's the trick behind it !"
As much as amazed Wookjin was
A 14 year old Jisung , knew exactly how that trick was done , heard about it in his school
And no he is not gonna tell Wookjin
Cause having Wookjin Yap about possible theories , in an excited voice all heavy blinks and pouty voice, was way better than the Satisfying feeling of right
"Uh huh that could happen " jisung has long lost track of what the hell Wookjin is on about but still he keeps on giving his affirmations
"You think he is sacrificing his kids to the devil .????"
"Mmmmhhmmmm- wait what!
Wookjin started laughing
“ so no you were not listening to me were you hyung ?” he pouted
Jisung gave a guilty smile and in an effort to make Wookjin smile , he took hold of wookjins hand and dragged him towards the Games in the fair
And there they were losing and winning, laughing and whining
Holding hands , ducking into the stalls to expose the frauds
And as they laugh the world just seems so much brighter to jisung
Maybe its wookjin
Or maybe the fire works , jisung cant be sure
Midst all of this suddenly wookjin runs off , to an other game ,
A balloon dart game ,
“What gift are you aiming for ?”
“You will see “
And Jisung sees
As he stands in the middle of the fair , near the pond ,
The fireworks above wookjin acts like his spotlight
And wookjins hand thrust towards him holding a ring
A familiar question presented to him
“Jisung marry me !”
And no……….Jisung cant , Jisung cant
Not only wookjin has no idea what marriage actually is , nor are they old enough
But even if they were , even if wookjin knew what he was saying , even if wookjin and him were old enough
They cant , he cant , they cant ,
Its wrong ,
After all Jisung is a boy
And wookjin is too
Its corrupt
But as wookjins huge eyes stare back him with hope
Is it really corrupt ?
But as wookjins huge eyes stare back him with hope
Jisung knows, he can never hurt wookjins heart so he says the same answer to him
“When am older I Will “
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special”
Wookjin sings as he stands in the living room in front of all the guests , including his and mine family and practically everyone in their neighbourhood
Its a christmas celebration ,
his last one , in this small little town ,
Tomorrow when he leaves , this town will be nothing but a memory he holds dear , he remembers when rain knocks on his window
memories filled with , a rivers , ponds , large fields with wild flowers , of bunking school, of running around the neighbourhood , of playing hide and seek , and hiding the stores and getting scolded , of wookjin
Of wookjin
Memories of wookjin
Cause after tomorrow , wookjin would just be a memory , wont he
Jisung looks at the 14 years old singing his heart out as all the kids crowded around him , forming a cult circle really , and the parents clap
He is going to lose wookjin
You might think , that no he is being dramatic , of course at this day and age , he can keep in touch
But No, jisung is 18 now , he has seen his other friends leave this town with promises of “We will keep in touch’
But before even a month could be over , they lost the touch , cause what they had faded
And he had to witness it first person , how it feels to loose people slowly , and yet cling on the hope , that no you haven't lost them
He knows if he tries to holds onto wookjin , he is gonna witness what he and wookjin have fade , become pale and withered , like a dying flower .
He cant let that happen .
So rather than those memories of hurt
He would rather his memories of Wookjin looking at him with a bright smile , and if he hung the stars and live with that picture tattooed in his mind
As wookjin continues singing , Jisungs heart grows heavier and heavier , leading him to leave the living room , to go stand on the driveway alone
He stands there to get his heart to stop hurting
He stands there trying to swallow the glass shard lodged into his throat
And as he stands there leaning on his father car , where half of their luggage is already loaded
He feels someone else stand beside him
Of course , its wookjinnie ,
And they stand there , in silence , soaking in each others presence
For probably the last time ever .
And suddenly there is something is jisungs throat that he wants to say, but he cant
Cause he doesnt know what it is
“So tomorrow you are leaving “
“I am “
“You really dont know the address , not even your father ?”
“No” jisung knows it by heart
“ ……………..you promise to send letters right ? you promise to call ?”
“Yes “ and jisung discreetly crosses his fingers
“Jisung?”
“Hmmm?”
“Will you marry me ?” his voice , is sing song ,this proposal is different from others , its a joke now , yet there is something distinctly sorrowful
“When am older “ jisung says , instinctively .
And wookjin laughs , no its not the sweet laugh wookjin is known for
This one , is heartbreaking , mourning , void of warmth ………..teary
“Bullshit , park jisung , bullshit “
“Wookjin !”
“ xxxx-xx xx road xxxx your new address
Xxxxx-xxxxx your new telephone number
Funny how your sister knows…….but you dont huh “
He knows. Oh god he knows
Jisungs eyes frantically widens , he reaches his hand out and wookjin slaps it away
“No I-” he tries
“‘No i ‘what ?what exactly hyung ? are you really gonna tell everyone including dogs knew but you didn't? How are you gonna validate this lie hyung ?”
“Wookjin listen-”
“You could have just said u wanted nothing to do with me ! why lie to me ??”
“Wookjin i didnt mean to lie-”
“Really ??? isnt that what you have been doing since i was toddler ? “when am older ??”
Suddenly , he feels the need to defend that lie as a truth , he doesnt know why
But he cant break the heart of the 4 yr old , the 10 yr old , or the 14 yr old before him
So he says again “ That wasnt a lie!!!!”
“Oh really ?? then what is old enough JISUNG!”
“28!!!!!!!” it was the first number that came to his mind
“What ?”
“When am 28 years old am gonna marry okay !” jisung knows how ridiculous , stupid and freakimg cringy he sounds , he is 18 , marriage should be the las thing on his mind, especially with a 14 yr old but here he was
Wookjin looks at him shocked , before it melts away to give way to rage
Wookjin digs into pocket and pulls out a plastic ring
A old one that reminds jisung of the fireworks and the pond
Wookjin walks up to jisung hands jisung the ring
Who hold it and stands dumbly , not knowing what to do
As wookjin slides his ring finger into the ring that jisungs holding and steps back
And then shoves his hand into jisungs face
“ fine then , if thats what your plan was! We are fiances now!”
Steps back , and gradually stomps away from a shellshocked jisung
Who stands there not knowing that this is the last he will ever see of the 14 yr old
Cause the next day as the entire town comes to say goodbye to them , as his family bordes the car , getting ready to leave this town
Wookjin is not there
Wookjin is not there bidding jisung goodbye
Wookjin is not there with a bright smile
His last memory of him is not of a wookjin with a bright smile and heavy blinks
Its of a wookjin trembling in rage , with eyes glazed over ,
Its not wookjins bright laughter
But a heartbroken one
And jisung is filled with terrifying feeling of loss
And as he drives away leaving his hometown behind
He knows what he wanted to say to wookjin on the driveway
“I love you “
_______—-
"There he goes ! Who gave him the wine! " Taeyeob wines from the seat beside him
As Sungho tries to justify his actions in a hapazard manner with JunJi on his lap
Why is Junji on his lap……no he is not Junji's boyfriend
No there are plenty of seats available for Junji to sit in
Why?
Well he and Yongsoo have been pondering on it for awhile
Yes just those two
Cause they are the only ones who are single
They were so fed up with the fact that everyone in their group of friends were definitely sucking face (yes Taeyeob is sucking faces too
Yes it's kyubin ……his freaking ex )
That they decided to hook up
But really , it was the 2nd most awkward thing he ever went thro….they ended up calling it off halfway thro and ordered pizza and binged watched Kdramas
Oh ! Look jisung is rambling again,
Damn he is bored
Where was he ?
Oh right wine
So Jisung as a chef is a fine appreciater of wine okay
He is even called the Dionysus as a nickname when he worked in the Mediterraneans
What he dislikes about it tho…is….it makes him drunk…almost instantly and ….a drunk Jisung is a nostalgic Jisung
Last time he was crying about the boyfriend he had in the bakery school in France ….
Jisung was the one who broke Franz's heart yes, but that doesn't stop him from being nostalgic
Today though Jisung , was deeper into his Nostalgic brooding than normal , cause today the subject of his heartache was …..
Certain kid near a pond in summer .
So really , You can't blame jisung that for the first few seconds he thought he was dreaming when , Yongsoo's so called 'new-friend-i wanna-introduce-to-you-all'
Walked into the little get together they were having on small room in the terrace of Yongsoo's apartment
No cause, the boy that walked in with a bright smiled looked at him and slowly his smile faded , to be replaced by a look of pure shock
And jisung stood up
And suddenly all Jisung wanted to do was cry
And wail
And lunge out
But as he saw ,the man stand there in shock melting to a look of pure rage , he knows , this is not the boy he left behind
No it was a 24 year old man .
Whose face faded from cold rage to a bright smile in almost a instant , a smile that looked not so genuine to Jisung when it was directed to him
"Ya ho!, it's wookjin !!! Jung Wookjin! Present please!"
_________________________
It's final , Wookjin definitely hates him
Since his arrival Wookjin words towards him have been nothing but jabs at him
Cold cruel jabs, atleast that's what it felt like
As he talked to Jisung like he was a stranger , calling everyone in the dinner table present hyung
But addressing jisung as "park jisung sii "
All polite ,but his eyes keep on glaring at Jisung , all cold
As if he wants it his fox like features to take over and make him a literal fox so he tear his throat away.
"Park Jisung siii" Wookjin called to Jisung again
And broken out of his stupor , stumbles on his words
"Care to pass me the butter please?"
"Ah yes" and he does , and he passes Wookjin the butter
That he apparently asked for to pick up Yongsoo's unattended bread , buttered them up , and then proceeded to lean on a very spooked and confused yongsoo
Wookjin is all over him , leaning his head on him, touching him.
But really , jisung isn't jealous persay
Okay maybe he is , maybe there is envy in there , but there is also a hurt
A hurt from a wound that has re opened
And it's bleeding
But when Wookjin isn't focused on him
When he is laughing at kyubins jokes or at yeobie's antics
Or teasing Yongsoo on being the panicked gay
He is ………so …..so unlike the boy he left and yet so much like him
His eyes are still bright but the were sharper with wisdom , ans experience
He wasn't lanky anymore , but had a slender muscular body that filled in the loose fitting shirt he was wearing quite well
He was laughing giggling , crunching his face and blinking like always but there was something so different
And his hands
Wookjin hands were no longer small looking , or looked as soft as it did , but it was rougher and bigger and …. different
And all these difference they were alluring and beautiful
Jisung wanted to ….get to know this Wookjin too , he wanted to reach out to this Wookjin too
Wanted to laugh with this Wookjin too
But he can't
Cause as he looks at wookjin he can see that he has long moved on
Moved on from the pain jisung had caused him
He saw how brightly Wookjin shone , like the literal summer sun
And ….Jisung knew , that he deserves this
So he decided that yes he will give Wookjin his space
He won't chase him
He won't hurt him anymore .
-
{When I walked in with a Yongsoo chatting away about his odd bunch of friends he has no idea how they became a group, cause really all this was a 'huge snowball of coincidence' I was just expecting a group of fun people to get to know , and have some fun
I thought today i would let loose and maybe make new fun friends
The last thing I would have expected was too see Him
Him , Jisung
Sitting there in a lilac colored shirt (his favorite color ) looking as beautiful as the first blossom of spring
Why does he have to show up now after 9 years
Why does he have to look so breathtakingly beautiful
Why does he have to look at me with those eyes
Those eyes glazed over with tears, of shock , of hope , why…..
And suddenly I am taken over by a rage I have never felt, suddenly I have the urge to make him feel the pain I had felt…..
And with that though in mind , I smile softly at the other members of the group.}
___________________________
Trust Jisung when he says ….that he really didn't plan to approach Wookjin
No , he was planning to stay far away from him , just admire him from afar .
But as Wookjin excited the small room to stand on the roof alone
Away from the others plundering around Kyubin who was doing some weird drinking trick
Alone
And jisung steps took him there
On their own
Like
Like as if he was a moth drawn to a flame
He knows he will burn
And yet
As he stands beside Wookjin , a familiar sense of ease takes over him
Wookjin though soon freezes.
His shoulder tense , and jisung flinches
"Is something the matter park jisung sii" Wookjin's tone is hostile …..but Jisung doesn't mind.
It even surprises jisung himself for it's no secret that he is a creature of immense pride
"Nothing "
And they stand there …
Wookjin makes no effort to leave his spot and Jisung takes it as a blessing
"Wookjin sii….."
"Yes jisung sii "
"And what do you do for a living may i ask?…..does…it……does it involve a camera "
And Wookjin turns his head to look at him , eyes calculating
For jisung is essentially asking 'did you achieve your dream?'
"Yongsoo didn't tell you?"
"No…all I know is that you bumped into him on a set …"
Yongsoo is a actor , not a huge one no, but he is slowly gaining a strength and fan following
Especially due to the role of a vampire he is playing in a kdrama .
Wookjin turned back to staring at the starless sky
And spoke in a proud whispery voice
"Well…. jisung sii I work as a assistant director in seo min yong group ,and am working there to earn brownie points from the huge producers there so I can one day make my own film! …..one day "
"One day……seo min group…the production company behind yongsoos drama correct …..that's impressive….."
Wookjin obviously preened at praise , wookjin always looked forward to it , praise , to be validated and recognized
"Can Wookjin sii ride a bicycle?"
"I own a bike!!" Wookjin hissed offended
And he couldn't help but laugh at it , stupid alcohol
Again both of the two boys fall silent
Though this time it was Wookjin
"Does….. Jisung siii works as a chef?" Wookjin asked in a soft solemn voice
".....I am asking cause of the scars on your hand ! Nothing else!!!!!...yeah …exactly that....are you a chef jisung sii"
"I am" jisung said ,
And Wookjin looked at him with wide eyes , just like he used to , and jisung smiled warmly at him again….
"I am a chef at the marionette "
"The MARIONETTE? Seriously? You are!"
At this point jisung's smile might break his face , "yes I am …..am the day shifts head chef"
"That's soo awesome! Why day shift though? Isn't it slow then?"
"Yes….and that's why I like it, it's not stressful , and I can slowly get used to being a head chef…I just got promoted you see "
"That's good……that's good …yes…very good……good job jisung sii….."
"Wookjin sii can we talk…"
"We are talking"
Jisung knew he has to drop the pretence soon anyway
"Wookjin……Wookjin aah …..can we talk." he asks softly ,as if trying to coax a hurt kitten to trust him
"No….." Wookjin looked back at Jisung, and his eyes glared at him again but this time his eyes were glazed
"Why? What is there left to say "
Jisung took a deep breath
"To apologise to you………..not to make excuses , to make myself feel better ……but the long due apology…………"
Wookjin didn't answer , and once again jisung felt like fleeing the scene
But he tried again
" And if you don't want to hear it…..if you don't , I will not be bothering you anymore …."
Wookjin still stayed frozen to his spot.
Jisung accepted his rejection , And as he made up to leave Wookjin with a heavier heart , like a glass shard stuck in his throat his heart
"Say it ! " Wookjin called out loud
Spooking jisung , for wookjins voice had been to loud for the fragile moment that they are sharing
" ….what you have…..to say….say it "
Jisung looked back at wookjin and the dam broke
And then walked back up to him
and stood in front of him , and met Wookjins eyes
"Am sorry" he started
"Am sorry" his voice started cracking
"I am so so so sorry Wookjin " teasers Cascaded down jisung's cheeks like a broken dam and he started to silently weep
"Am so sorry for hurting you ….am so sorry"
Wookjin didn't reply for a little while , but then when he spoke, his voice wavered
"And if you are so sorry….and you regret doing it that much? Why only apologise now? cause u forgot about me and only remembered me when I magically materialised in front of you? That's hard to believe-"
"I tried calling you!.......I did….the day I got my new sim ……I did I type down your number ……but ….but I could never call….
I wrote letters to you….every Christmas…every Easter ….your birthdays….I still couldn't send them "
"Why not? "
"I was scared…..I was so scared of your reaction ….of what you would say …that I kept on postponing it …and it got harder and harder till ……it became impossible to do so "
"Aren't you now ?
"My legs are still shivering…..I am….but….I…missed….you…more….way more."
"Okay …."
The silence was haunting
"I went back you know"
"What?"
Jisung turned away from Wookjin
He can't look at him right now ..
"I went back home…….to your house ……right before I left for Vietnam…..I did …..it was 2019….I went back but…."
"I wasn't there was i " Wookjin whispered
"No……you had already left…..I was too late….too late "
Jisung heard Wookjin take in a huge breath "how convenient for you isn't it……to get the chance to explain everything to me so suddenly…..and look at me….am allowing you too…."
"Am sorry "
"Stop! Stop saying that! " Wookjin finally raised his voice, and this is the 2nd time I have heard him do that ,
I can't still bare to look at him , but I can see his fists shaking from the corner of my vision
"Fine…..fine ….you tried …..you tried …it doesn't make a difference but you tried …great for you! But tell me park jisung???? Isn't this what you wanted from the beginning ? To completely erase me from your memories ??"
I can feel my fingers dig into my palms "I didn't want to erase you" I said to gritted teeth, I hate this , I hate how this is going…..
"Oh really? Jisung sii? Your action says otherwise! Cause-"
"I didn't WANT to Erase YOU!" I shot back him, louder than intended , shocking Wookjin into silence
And I only realize how close we were actually standing when he takes a step back , all wide eyes , as if he couldn't believe I would actually scream at him
"I didn't want to erase …..you….you are….my entire childhood, my teens ….how could I just erase you Wookjin…how can I ?"
Wookjin roughly whipped the tears off his eyes "then what was your ultimate goal?"
",To……to not let the memories be corrupted…."
"What?"
"....you remember…….before me ,some of my friends had already shifted away , they….had promised to keep in touch ….to be friends still….but.."
Jisung stopped, wondering how you word what he wanted to say
Wookjin didn't interrupt him
“They promised ………….. But…..they didnt ……slowly and slowly they just stopped bothering with me altogether “ a bitter laugh tore out of jisungs lungs
“And when i went to ansan to meet them…….his eyes were so….so disinterested in me , as if they wanted me to leave as fast as humanly possible and then suddenly all the time we spent became just hollow, meaningless “
“Who was that guy ?” wookjin asked , voice barely above a whisper
“Dowon… Kang dowon ……”
Wookjin walked towards me again , standing beside me , not close enough to touch , but for his presence to be felt
“Your bestfriend……”
“Yup. him……………………………………… it was after him , that………….. , when it came time for me to shift …….., i got terrified , i got terrified , that one day i would call you , and that you would annoyed , that if i sent you postcards you will just leave them out for months…………that if i came to stand in front of you , you would look at me with the same disinterest ………..and then suddenly ……i was afraid , all the moments i spend with you , all of them would also become meaningless ………………… so , i decided that the best course of action would be too just disappear….and let the last memory of you be…of you smilingly bidding me goodbye……..but look what did that lead too “
“You are an absolute dumbass”Wookjin said ,as if it was new fact he memorised
“Wookjin-”
“You absolute moron “
“Yah wookjin am still older than you “
“No shut up, 18 year old You is still younger than me “
“Thats not how age works-”
“By trying to protect yourself from going through the dowon episode again , You became dowon HIMSELF you stupid!”
Jisungs eyes widened as let that sink in
“I know, i did do that didnt I”
“Thats not the only dumb Thing you did , do you think dowon stopped contacting his cousins , his grandma ? , cause i specifically remember him visiting every easter “
Not knowing what to say in return , jisung quite down , thats right dowon had come back to the town during easters…….but never visited him , humiliated from the ansam incident he never made any efforts either
“Jisung………… when you deeply care about someone , like we did , you dont just go disinterested , you dont just STOP caring about them………you might grow distant , you might lose touch , but not stop caring “
Wookjins voice was both annoyed and gentle, like mother reprimanding her child, and its quite ironic to jisung
God knows how many times he has used this voice against Wookjin.
“You should have trusted me , should have believed that I would never stop caring about you , I would never look at you with anything ever close to disinterest ! Even now , after everything , I am mad at you , everytime i look at you I am filled with rage, but my anger is a testament to the fact i did care about you…………….do you get it jisung pado ?”
“I do “
“You should have trusted me stupid , trusted what i felt for you “
“I should have “
“Stupid”
“I know i know i know ! i get what I did was dumb stop rubbing wound in salt ? but can you stop calling me stupid ????”
“No you stupid!”
“Well last I heard from Yongsoo , i knew that ‘ assistant director Nine got scammed to buy serum instead of lotion ‘ i suppose that Nine is you? Now who is dumb “
“Shut up still you !”
Jisung groans , hides his face behind his hands , but suddenly a sort of lightness overtakes him , he feels lighter than ever , like he could actually float away , and he took in a deep breath , enjoying the new lightness
“Park Jisung ? “
Jisung turned to look at wookjin , Wookjin didnt look as relieved like him, he was still guarded , tho he didnt look mad either
And jisung will take that as a win
“Yes wookjin “
“I forgive you “
And god maybe the surprise was to obvious of jisung face cause , jisung could swear he saw the tail of wookjins lip curl upward for split seconds
“But thats it , i accept your apology and i forgive you “
And jisung was happy with that
___________________________________________________
And Its was going well if you were to ask Jisung , as the same group of friends sit around a table in a pub a month later
“Wait wait wait ? You dated Kyubin???” Wookjin asked , from the floor of the pub where he fell from his seat as he held Yongsoos sleeve , pointing animatedly between kyubin and jisung
“Yes “
“And yeobie was your bestfriend “
“Yep that too? “
“And now they are dating each other what in the kdrama “
“Just get up from the floor!! Stop dragging me down with you !” whined yongsoo
Wookjin pretended to reluctantly get up from his position at the floor , only to launch himself at yongsoo and both fell down in a fit of giggles ,
Finally getting up after a waiter told them too, blushing furiously
Wookjin fit easily into the group , too easily jisung thinks , as he watches Wookjin teasing Junji and junji mock beating him up ,almost creepily
“On my defence! “ a semi tipsy Yeob with flushed cheeks began , lifting his head from Kyubins shoulder with great will
“Jisung dated around tooooo much ! like really! and Kyubin chased after me! not the other way! That's also two years after their break up!
“Ai ai hyung , never accused you of anything ~~ but noooow it makes me think “
And in return he got a cherry tomato thrown at him as he crackled away
No he didn't mind .
—----------------------------------------------
He decided to walk wookjin home , he has no idea why wookjin let him , but Jisung would not complain .
But right now they were doing anything other than walking home
Instead they were just walking down the road of itaewon , cheeks flushed , cause of the cold
Cause of the drinks
Cause they are together
Wookjin got distracted by everything he saw , eyes glittering , like a child in a fair , and Jisung trained eyes tried to keep track of the younger , as he bounced around the street
Somewhere along the line of pointing cute couples , pretty light decors and stores , wookjin had taken hold of jisungs hand , jisung followed him around with no complains spilling from his lips , like a puppy on a leash
“Click a photo of me hyung! Beside that pikachu !”
“If u scream pika pika chu am abandoning you here “
“Thats cruel!!! I should have known , you are a evil lord who hates the power happiness”
“Shut”
And then they were clicking pics of each other , near every statue that wookjin found interesting,
“Oh come on hyung you look like pabo not sexy “
Jisung stroke a different pose , one similar to michael jackson ,
“If is sent this to seoul mental hospital , they will surely come to pick you up “
Jisung did not let that hurt his pride , he only started to walk away cause his legs aches yes
And to jisung , this entire ordeal episode felt like a dream , a sweet dream,
everything around them looked blurred like one , in jisungs focus , there was just wookjin , shining in the streetlights .
Its cliche …………….jisung is definitely drunk
Wookjins eyes soon found something new
“Oh a flower shop ! its open at 2 am ? what ?”
“Well its not a surprise , you know , itaewon never sleeps- and there he goes why do i bother ”
—--------
The shop is big , big enough for the two of them to roam around and as wookjin traces each petal of different flowers ,reciting their names and meaning .
As they across a bunch of daisies , wookjin squeaks a bit , and calls for the worker
“Can you make a flower crown with these daisies ???”
The worker , a young man , with pretty eyes stepped forward
“Yes sir , 5 mins ”
The boy leaves , and wookjin continues his expedition through the shop
Jisung doesn't mind , he really likes flowers too , even if he isn't as learned as wookjin in them .
But one thing he knew was the borderline obsession wookjin had about Daisies , cause he did too , it was a small link to their hometown , that drowned in wild daisies .
So as wookjin went deeper into the shop , Jisung decided to pay for the crown himself
Even if it caused problems for sober Jisung , fuck him .
“Excuse me ? excuse me “ jisung whispered to the worker
The worker who was diligently making the flower crown looked up at jisung
“Yes sir ? “
“Am gonna pay for this okay “
The worker just gave a cheeky smile “yes yes sir , i am gonna make this extra pretty for your boyfriend”
Jisungs eye widen “No nnononononon ! he isnt” jisung stumbled as he handed in his card
“Future then “ he mumbled back , completely ignoring Jisungs protests as he punched the card in.
As the worker was done with the flower crown , he walked towards wookjin who was standing in front of a bunch of little blue and pink flowers
As the worker approached him , Wookjin spoke up “make me a bouquet for this “
Wookjin said as he took hold of the flower crown and softly putting it on his head
“Aah yes sir” Still the worker didnt move , he wanted to say ‘your boyfriend payed for this already’
He just wanted to play the role of cupid after sooo long , night shifts rarely had cute couples
And he was bored
But as wookjin didnt ask and kept staring at him instead , he decided to pop the question himself
“Sir the Price for the flower-”
“I know jisung payed for it , no i don't have eyes on the back of my head. I just know him well , now will you make a bouquet for this ? also add this paper inside of it please “
–
Jisung waited nervously at the counter , And as the two approached him , he was even more anxious about wookjins reaction
What he did not expect was the Worker to almost skip behind his counter with bright blue and pink flowers , all too happy (honestly its creepy HOW happy HE is )
, as wookjin stood beside him , completely unfazed
“And here is a bouquet of Myosotis for the handsome man “ as he handed Jisung the flowers
It was a beautiful bouquet of tiny identical blue and pink flowers , honestly it was so beautiful, jisung was struck speechless , he kept staring at them , holding them delicately in his hand as he walked out the store behind Wookjin , honestly in a daze , trailing behind him
As they walked down the road to the taxi stand , Jisung almost felt on brink of tears , he doesn't know why
“Wookjin “
“Hmmm?”
“Why” Jisung croaked out
Wookjin stopped , and looked back at jisung , a soft delicate expression on his face
“Do you know the name of the flower ?jisung”
“The worker said Myosotis “
“Hmmmmm it has two other names jisung……………….one is Scorpion grass
And the other is ……………… Forget-me-not “
And jisung couldn't help but widen his eyes , and will it be cringy if he said , it felt like a breeze passed by him , but it did , and it was cold, maybe , cause he quivered.
“And ……”
“And? Well Jisung , Forget me not means hope, remembrance and well…………park jisung …….. true and undying love “
Something cold touched jisungs face, fortunately it was not the tears that he barely kept at bay ………..
But snow ……….winters first snow
Wookjin looked up “wow……..already …….haha ……….its snowing “ and as he reached out to touch the falling crystal
It looked like the fluttering snow was dancing around wookjin,
And jisung felt a million things ,
He wanted to say million reasons , why is moment was the most beautiful moment in his life
Million reasons why he was falling in love again
But words had failed , so he just stood frozen , smiling at the wookjin whose attention was stolen by the snow
“Thank you “
Wookjin looked at him , and gave the brightest smile , and jisungs heart ached
“Oh look! Taxi!!” wookjin yelled at a passerbye empty taxi rushing towards it
“See you later “ he screamed over , got in and left,
Like a storm , he came , ruffled Jisung up , his world in complete chaos and mess ,and left
Leaving jisung standing there with the mess ,
Jisung looked down at the bouquet in his arms , it now had been covered in a thin layer of snow ,
And it was beautiful
The mess his world had become again , it was beautiful , and single smiled at the bouquet , and then started to walk towards his home , even if was alone , in the night , almost 3 am , in the snow
Jisung had never felt warmer .
—-----------------------------------------------------------
It was ironic , how when jisung was putting the flowers into his prized porcelain kinstugi vase
It sounded fitting too fitting to jisung
The beautiful white vase , broken , and fixed again , the cracks haven't disappeared , no they are very much there , but they are healed and mended with gold , the cracks though still there , looks beautiful……..and the flowers decorating the vase also very fitting
Jisung was fond of what he had in front of him
Fond enough that he almost didnt even notice , the little purple heart shaped paper , that had wookjins number
And jisung chuckled to himself
—--------------------------
“Hello Wookjin here who is this?”
Jisung and decided to finally grow the balls to call wookjin , a whole day later yes ……………but At Least He Did
But now after calling , he has forgot how to language
Funny how jisung was known for his social skills
“Um ……. Hey ………its me….”
“Oh………um…so! You finally did what you couldn't for the last decade ! waaaah park jisung !! how you feeling ! “
“Brat….” jisung fondly chuckled
“Oing! Doesnt this need a celebration ?” wookjin asked from the other side , obviously , a tease
“Well of course it does , come over at my restaurant at 4-5 pm, we are closed then “
“Wait what ? seriously ji-”
“I will be expecting you !”
And he hung up, nerves caught up to him okay!! Give him a break
“Oh god he is coming “ jisung said to himself panicked
Well yes he is coming park jisung, you asked him, thats how asking out works
—--------
Jisung had used his authority as the head chef send everyone away on lunch on the company card , even the manager , was booted away for the hour
The only one left behind were now the guards outside the restaurant and Jisung himself
It was not like he had never been alone here , but now he was more anxious , as wookjin would be there any minute now
And suddenly his phone rang , and yes it was wookjin
He declined the call and walked out the kitchen out the extravagant sitting area and out the front door to see wookjin
In what must be his work attire ,
A white loose shirt , skinny black pants , a long beige coat and a huge video camera hanging from his shoulder
And as he noticed Jisung he gave a smile ,
“Yaho! Am here”
“Welcome to Marionette, this is head chef Park and i shall be accompanying you” Jisung said in mock professionalism .
____
Walking wookjin through the restaurant was way more satisfying than jisung would have guessed
Wookjin marvelled at his workplace , praising jisung for working there , and jisung and a sweet flush on his cheeks
What surprised jisung was that Wookjin had picked up his camera and was recording everything.
Jisung had no idea why he was doing that but he left him to it
As they enter the kitchen wookjin sits on the counter and says
“Well chef , now that am here , what do you want ?”
Jisung smiled at wookjin
“I……wanted to make a meal for you by myself , anything you want”
Jisung did, a faint promise he had made to a young Wookjin , when he had realised his dream .
Wookjin just softly smiled then asked “do you know what i like ?”
“You like meat , but not much fat , it makes you nauseous , you dont like anything too sweet and you appreciate savory food the most . and you wont eat a veggie as long as you are alive”
“Well chef , then you know what to do “
___
Cooking for wookjin was stressful and …………fun
Yes fun
Cause as he kept on recording the cooking processes and asking questions to him as if he was in a reality show
It was both amusing and distracting
For wookjin he ……….he had made a simple dish
Doing something extravagant is not as important to wookjin , as is the care and meaning behind what you make
Hence the choice of dish had been Pho
The days that he had spent vietnam had been the loneliest ………..yes he had learned a lot , but it had been right after he had learned that he had really lost wookjin , forever
Combined with the fact he knew no one in vietnam , a place completely foreign
Jisung felt like a torso , with no legs , no arms , no head……..just floating alone
In those time , this simple dish native to the country had helped jisung feel grounded , when he spiralled too much
He also knew how weak of a stomach wookjin had , he knew coming from work , something too heavy , or too spicy would not suit wookjin well or something heavy
Pho just sounded right for now
And the genuine smile that wookjin had given when he handed him the bowl , was probably the biggest prize he had gotten .
—---------------------------------------------------
Wookjin had always made a point of showing up at Jisungs work place whenever he can
Last friday only he decided to bring the entire crew of the vampire drama
This ment yongsoo was there too , both of them evilly smiling at him before both started to diss Jisungunder the disguise of praise , and Jisung swears if he had any less self restrain , he would have hit both of them
Brats
Either way , Yongsoo had let it slip that He bakes a extravagant cake every 13th december , as it was a day of celebration from his hometown
And Wookjin had caught on , he looked like both a person who is gonna use the information to blackmail him but also moved
He had later learned that wookjin would also light a candle every 17th of january
He was comforted by that Cause everytime he baked for wookjins birthday he felt like a sap who was stuck in the past alone
But now that led to him baking wookjins birthday cake and surprise him
At the night of 12 th december jisung stood outside wookjins apartment
And right at 11;58 pm he rang the bell
And as the door swang open Jisung started singing
“saeng il chuk ha ham ni da
saeng il chuk ha ham ni da
sarang ha neun Wookjin pabo ya
saeng il chuk ha ham ni da”
And there was wookjin , standing there , shook , his face being lit up by the single candle burning on the cake
“Hyung?”
“Happy birthday menace”
And wookjin beamed like a sunflower
—---------
Wookjins happiness didnt match once he actually saw what the cake was under the light kept in his dining table ready to be cut
It was a pikachu cake………….
Wookjin stood there with mock annoyance at the cake
Face scrunching up and deep “Hyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuung ! why pikachu!”
“You seemed to really like the statue that day! So I thought naturally you would like the cake !”
Jisung gave a beaming evil grin , and somehow it seemed to wookjin that the best course of revenge would be to smear cream across Jisungs face, as a hilarious joke
But as the huge scoop of the cream touched jisung face , both of them froze
Somehow everything slowed down
Wookjins hand slowly slid down jisungs cheeks , and Jisung looked at him , eyes completely blown wide , wookjin could see himself be reflected in them
And it felt like something had shifted , wookjins hand went lower , thumbing the cream across jisungs lips
Their breathing gets deeper , lounder almost thundering and as Wookjin's hand left Jisung's cheeks
it went down to clutch at Jisung's shirt tightly his knuckles turning white
He felt jisung palm rest against his neck , and Wookjin burned , his skin lit on fire
Jisung slowled thickly , his Adam's apple bobbing
"Wookjin I-"
Honestly right now Wookjin didn't want to listen to any reasoning any excuses……. nothing at all ,......... and Wookjin silenced him in the only way that seemed appropriate….
By kissing Him
______________________
Somehow the plan that they made for Christmas Eve turned out to be
'visit our hometown again'
Why Jisung doesn't know
It has suddenly come up , as Wookjin was lounging on his couch
Trying to fend of a irritated Galbi , somehow galbi hated Wookjin
And that had lead to a grouchy Wookjin trying save his precious ankle
He now somehow had a fox-human and dog growling at each other from two different couches
And Jisung spent two whole second wondering if any one of them were worth the trouble
Either way , he had offhandedly commented how he missed his hometown
Never having gone there after 2019
Ans Wookjin too expressed how he missed it
Apparently Wookjina parents had moved away to Busan , selling that house , just like jisung's parents had
Soooo none of them ever got around to going back there …..
And this appeared to be the perfect opportunity to do so …..
And honestly it was 9 hour drive from Seoul with all the traffic and yet they decided that it was the best course of action…screw them
________
Long story short jisung drove three hours straight got annoyed abandoned driving all together
Leaving Wookjin in charge of the wheel , as he pouted in the passenger's seat in the front
Still after long hours of driving from morning , they reached their hometown by 4 pm and got down from the car to stretch
They were at the town square , and it seemed like nothing much had changed
"Waaaa look Hyung Everything practically looks the same "
"Yeah it does " jisung answered
Even he was a bit surprised , he knew nothing drastic would change
But seeing it being so similar felt like he jumped back in time or something
But yes there were still new stores and cafe here and there , but still it had the same essence
Jisung opened the car decky to see if the plates and wine was okay or not as Wookjin already started to sway on the balls of his heels
"The picnic basket , wine and plates are A-okay , we can also pick some food up from town square….and then we can decide to do the picnic cool"
Jisung asked to the man standing next to him …..who he thought was standing next to him cause when he looked up he was there no more
Jisung crunched his face up, closed the decky door and started walking In random direction to see Wookjin talking to a middle aged dude
"Oooh hyung hyung hyung " Wookjin pulled him in by his arm the moment jisung came into his vision " they are having a Christmas fair "
"A Christmas fair?"
During jisung's stay in the town they never had a Christmas fair , the town was decorated but no huge event was held
"Aaaah there are gonna be fire works !!! Yesss"
"Oh ,that's nice …… when's it's starting"
The middle aged man in question turned to be a worker who was setting up the stage in the middle of the town square
Apparently there is also gonna be a karaoke sorta thing for all the town residents……
And jisung knows some parents are gonna send their unwilling kids up on the stage to sing
He just knows……
He has faces that a lot during town karaoke
Either way , the day was spent going around the town space
To long forgotten shops , jisung was rather surprised when the ice cream shop last remembered the two of them
Cause the moment those two walked in hand in hand , she squealed in happiness, ushered them inside
And squeezed their cheeks , and told them how much she missed 'em .
Jisung couldn't help the faint blush that rose on his cheeks
Nor did Wookjin
The ice cream shop had changed alot over the years
It looked like any other ice cream shop in the city , and the changes makes sense
Without even them asking the lady handed them their used to be favorite flavor , which hasn't changed much
Salted caramel for Jisung
And Mint for Wookjin
And she wouldn't let them pay
Even Wookjin's puppy eyes didn't work
Her logic being ' if you wanna pay me , then also pay the thousands of pennies you were short of and own me , huh! Just cause you have grown up you think you are bigger than me this generation-' I think you get the picture
Wookjin and Jisung just bowed his head and accepted their defeat , took the ice cream , in the favor of walking around the Town it was already dusk and the fair had already started
"Look at them…..ah young love ….."
"Why do you always stare at couples???"
"Why it's fun ! I wonder what their stories are "
The sky was a dark grey blue , the yellow lights with the red and green decore looked incredibly beautiful
"I have heard that when there are fireworks people get spooked up and accidentally kiss "
"Where did you freaking here?"
Wookjin took bite of his ice cream only to wail 'brainfreeze'
"Well either way when there is fireworks let's make our keeps meet
Jisung choked on his ice cream, apparently that's possible
"You don't mean mean 'not meet'"
"I mean meet" Wookjin pointed a finger gun at him and winked
"Too meet"
"Yep"
"Will keep that in mind "
The time they spent in the fair was ……jisung doesn't know to describe it really
But maybe , like a fairytale? Maybe
A Christmas miracle perhaps ,
Whatever it was , jisung was happiest .
And so Wookjin, if his red cheeks , bright smile and rapidly blinking eyes were any indication
They went around the fair , playing stupid games ….that Jisung lost
They once again ducked around the stalls to expose the frauds (they are always there arnt they?)
And while Jisung couldn't use the guj to hit the target to save his life
Wookjin the self declared 'shoot guy', was….. actually good with a gun …..
And honestly…..that was hot….
He hit almost all of his targets in one shot , and jisung behind him clapping in aw
Finally as he won a Huge Lion plushie , he ran towards jisung all bright and proud….. brighter than the sun
“See ! I got this! Honestly hyung if there was a zombie attack you would die first “
Jisung just gave him (‘-_-’) look and started walking , and as he walked it started to snow again , wookjin gave the most delighted shriek “Snowflakes on christmas”
Wookjin took the camera hanging around his neck to click pictures as jisung stood there making mock disgusted faces
“Come on hyung pose!! We gotta send them in the gc”
And jisung did the best poses he could come up with a huge as stuffed lyon
Wookjin laughed heartily a white breath
And a single flake landed right on his nose
And jisung so wished the camera was on his hands
—
“And there you go!”
And he placed a snowman headband on Jisungs head , the only logical alternative to not making a snowman in the middle of the town with kids
Dont get jisung wrong , he liked snowmans , but wookjin had made it a point to make one each corner he cut with the kids and he had enough, but if he knew this would have been the result he would have very well let wookjin have his way
“Now you are my snowman” and wrapped his hands around jisung
“If am snowman then let go i will otherwise”
“Awww mr snowman dont melt in my arms”
“And why should i not ?”
“Cause mr snowman , a puddle of snow cant hold me close honey”
“Oh then who are you?”
“Mr snow”
“Stop reciting song lyrics you fox”
________________________________________
Jisung car was parked near the pond , it wasn't frozen yet,
And neither was there too much snow in the grass , so he laid a blanket and sat down , when they had reached it
was around 11;30 , the fireworks were not scheduled for the next 30 mins so they decided to do a small picnic
They laid down the plates and wine glasses and jisung lit a single candle he had bought from the town square , it had a sweet raspberry scent
Now that food was almost eaten and the two wine bottles completely empty
They sat there looking at the pond waiting for the fireworks to begin
Jisung had passed his jacket to a shivering yet stubborn wookjin, who was now completely bundled himself. The only thing Jisung wanted now was to bend forward and kiss him . still he stayed in his place and looked forward
“We never learn huh now do we hyung ?”
“What……”
“Chritmass in 2015 we decided to have a picnic here and both of us got sick, still we decided to do it again “
Jisung laughed “yeah , well you suggested the place after all”
“The whole idea of a ‘Picnic’ was yours darling”
“Well we both are dummies”
Wookjin quieted down
“We do this all the time , we do things , we face the consequences of doing this to begin with yet, yet we do it again cause, even if the pain it causes afterwards , the moment we spend still was beautiful”
The conversation was going to a different direction , jisung could feel that.
At this moment he sees a 10 years old anxious boy , but he also sees a 24 years old man, who is in peace with his choices
How life always comes around at this exact at moment
Two of them next to each other , the world frozen over , their laugh the only warmth , keeping the cold out
And then jisung sees, the fireworks go out overhead
And wookjin softly laughs
His eyes reflecting the fire works , and in wookjins eyes , jisung sees the prettiest skys
“This pond” jisung begins , and wookjin turns to look at him eyes softly blinking at him as his features lit by the fireworks
“This pond ………was always my safe place ………… when ever i felt alone, i would imagine this pond in my mind , i wondered why ? what made this pond special…….”
“What did hyung ?” wookjin asked , like a kid asking what happens next in the story
“Cause everytime i thought of this pond , i would remember a boy , who lingered around the shore , the water of this pond would calm me down cause , they resembled the eyes of someone i could meet my eyes with……….someone i loved but i didnt knew”
And the first time in his life , he sees tears roll down wookjins eyes , but he keeps on smiling , wookjin gave a small chuckle and crawled towards him , he let one of his palms rest against jisungs cheeks , looking at his face , as if taking in everything there was too
And leaned in to finally kiss him , the softest touch of lips , barely there , as wookjin sobbed , trying to breathe through his mouths , soft gasps escaping his mouth, and jisung just knew he was crying there too
“I love you wookjin, am sorry , i do”
Wookjin just nodded his head
“Sure thing hyung……”
An other sobe escaped him and he laughed , eyes red , eyelashes wet , and his face completely flushed
Wookjin looked like a mess
Wookjin looked like the most beautiful sight
“Does ……does this mean you will marry me now “
“Whaaat” jisung laughed out still crying
“Marry me jisung , duh”
Jisung laughed again
“When am older”
Wookjin leaned down to kiss him again
“I hate you , you know”
_________________________________________________
That night they slept in jisungs car , with the heater on , cuddling into each other ,
They woke up sighing into each others necks , wookjins smile in the dawns light being the thing to greet Jisung , and jisung though that everything they had gone through
Had been worth it in the end
___________
Before leaving the town , they decided to go to their old homes
They knew they could not enter as it was sold off
But they still did
“I will just click a picture , no need to get down hyung”
“Hmmmm”
But as the car stopped infront of the house the sight they saw , they will never forget
Cause in front of the house , sat two boys , one a toddler and another a bit older , eating ice cream
The younger one screamed
“Aaah brain freeze!” the younger screamed
“See i told you not too!” the older scolded
Both of them couldnt help but laugh at the sight , wookjin sofly clicked a picture and jisung started the car
This time both of them knew , they wont be returning to this town ever again
This town will once again become a memory
But to jisung
It would be a fairytale, his magical childhood
And now that he has collected the pieces of it back up , and right his wrongs
He is ready to leave this sweet little fairytale behind
To the next chapter
This time his heart felt lighter than ever .
end.