Azure
******
First stairwell, right turn.
I'd almost memorised my way around the palace. Almost. The first part was the easiest, where I was faced with nothing other than the grand staircase. Wide and magnificent, tiled with marble that seemed to glow even in the absence of light, it was a difficult landmark to forget. Many people traversed this one; it was the one staircase that lead to all the wings.
I hung my right, cleaving myself away from the flow of foot traffic heading left. It was no wonder -- majority of the courts' population lived in the Western Wing. I made a mental note to explore them one day. No, not one day, soon. I'd been memorising my way around the entire palace, and though I'd done well, I hadn't memorised nearly enough. I didn't do it as a pastime or as a means of distraction. No, I did it in case we needed to flee. Kyra and Raina may have settled into this place, but I certainly hadn't.
Second stairwell, left turn.
This set of stairs were narrower, designed for a section where not many people traversed. In fact, I could only spot about three people in my surroundings, all nestled into small alcoves on the right wall. Their eyes were glued to the pages they poured over, old texts I couldn't begin to name. Wisely, none of them look my way. I hadn't been reserved with my glares and sneers -- I wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction of intimidating me, or my Sorors. If it came down to it, I would go knuckle-to-knuckle for them. For us.
I flew up the stairs, the spiral setting my vision into a spin.
Third level; first right turn, second left turn, third stairwell at end.
The corridors passed in a blur. I didn't bother to take in the paintings on the walls, ones that looked so intricately done and vibrant. Some depicted night skies, whilst others held scenes of battle. Even so, they all had one common feature, one I knew would be there without be even having to look: the Northern Star.
Their god.
It was still a foreign notion to me. Growing up in the Southern Court, where we worshiped no one but our Alpha, the notion of worshipping a higher power was alien. Even as a young girl, when I'd lived in one of the many outpost cities just as all young wolf and families had, the thought had never crossed my mind. Being on the outskirts of the territory, I'd heard the notions of gods whispered on the winds, but that was about it.
I scowled, the final staircase coming into view. Did the humans worship gods? I would have to ask Kyra.
Her name struck a cord in my heart. Kyra. I hadn't allowed myself to think of what she'd revealed the other day, of the things Azriel had done to her. I'd felt sick listening to it, as though it were playing out right before me -- the torture she'd endured for weeks. And yet I hid from the facts like a coward. Even now, I suppressed those memories, those words I wished I could unhear.
But what I couldn't forget was what Kyra said, 'I hated them for not seeing it.' It was as though someone had hit me in the head with a stone. My heart had sunk when she'd said those words, at the way she said them. The hatred, the resentment... I could hear it. I could feel it. Whether those feelings were really towards us, or Azriel, I couldn't tell. And part of me didn't want to know which.
I didn't even realise I'd ascended the stairs until I stepped upon the final level, the corridor upon which our rooms resided. I tried to shut out my feelings of shame again as I continued forward. It was only a few moments later when a couple of voices wafted down the corridor, stealing me from thought. I straightened immediately. As far as I knew, Kyra, Raina and I were the only ones who lived here, and I didn't expect Raina to be on speaking terms with Kyra yet. Who could it be?
I got my answer when I finally entered the circular lobby. I noticed Raina first, particularly the way her golden hair glowed radiantly, even though the sunlight didn't stretch farther than her feet. She was laying on one of the loveseats, looking rather relaxed as she spoke to the person situated on the one to her right. I blinked. It was perhaps the first time I hadn't seen her so worked up or tense.
My eyes drifted to the left, and my stomach lurched. There, sitting in the seat beside her was the curly-haired boy from yesterday, his grin as wide and infectious as ever. His curly hair seemed to glow, too -- very bronze compared to Raina's gold. He said something that made Raina laugh, and anger thundered through me.
"Raina!" I snapped. Their eyes were on me in an instant. Raina paled, but the male's grin just widened. "Who the hell is he, and why are you speaking to him?"
I didn't bother to hide the accusation. Raina's eyes hardened into an icy glare at my tone. "He's a friend, Azure. Why do you care?"
I took several paces towards them, fixing Raina a look. To her credit, she didn't recoil. "We don't just make 'friends' with the Northerners, Raina. You can't trust them. You can only trust Kyra and I."
It was true. We were in a court full of strangers, and anyone could put on a face to trick us, particularly impressionable little Raina. Why would this guy be any exception?
Her lips curled. "He's not just a Northerner, Azure. He has a name."
She turned to him. Her gaze softened. For whatever reason, it made me angrier. "Luc, why don't you introduce yourself to Azure?"
His eyes were bright. "Wow, so much for surprise, Raina! You stole my thunder, telling her my name and all." He said it jokingly, and he even winked in my direction, but I could see the caution in his eyes. Good, fear me, I thought to myself. I shot him a look that said as much and his smile faltered.
Raina rolled her eyes and turned back to me, that playfulness gone in an instant. "Well, his name is Luc, and he's our..." -- she looked at him -- "surveillance."
"Surveillance?" I sputtered, absolutely dumbstruck. "Raina, you can't just befriend the goddamn surveillance, for god's sake! He's here to spy on us."
"Hey, don't frame me as some creep!" Luc protested, his hazel eyes sparkling. "It wasn't like I was leering under your doors or peeping through closets. You're making me out to be some perv! I'm no peeping Tom."
Raina covered her mouth with a giggle, but I wasn't having it. I stared towards Luc. I stared beyond that bronzed face, through his at his playful demeanour and unassuming grin. I didn't trust him, not one bit.
But then I towards at Raina, spying the sparkle in her eye. She trusted him, it seemed, and that fact alone filled me with rage. I hated the way she looked at him. Didn't she know that he couldn't be trusted? Why couldn't she look at me like that? Didn't she trust me?
I shook the latter thoughts from my head, stepping forwards.
"Raina, you cannot trust him."
"Still here!" Luc whined, looking slightly hurt. I ignored it.
"Why not, Azure?" Raina shot back. "So... what... are we just going to seclude ourselves like hermits? These guys gave us sanctuary, you know. The least we could do is offer friendship."
We can't! I wanted to scream. Why don't you get it? I searched her gaze as she held mine, her brows knotting in defiance that was very uncharacteristic for her face. Even then, I saw the pure gleam in her eyes, the innocence on her petite face. She hadn't been what I'd been through. She'd never had a reason not not trust anyone, unlike me.
Maybe I would have just given up and walked away, maybe I would have just cut my losses, if Luc hadn't turned to her and muttered, "She seems a bit uptight, doesn't she, Rain?"
Rain.
"Get out!" I snapped, causing them both to jump. I stormed up to the boy, and even as he hopped off the couch, his height didn't stand to match mine. "Get out and stay the hell away from her! She may be blind to it, but I see past your damn front!"
"Azure!" Raina was standing now, shocked by my actions. I didn't care. Maybe I was overreacting, maybe I was being unfair, but it didn't matter. All I could see was the gleam in her eyes as she looked at him, the emotions she displayed for everyone to read like an open book. She was so vulnerable, so gullible, and I had to protect her, because it was obvious she couldn't protect herself.
I fixed Luc a glare, and his jester smile was nowhere to be found. In fact, his tan skin had paled to the point where he looked sick. I felt cold jealousy surge through me. Rain. What had he done to earn her nickname? What had he done to earn her trust? Nothing. He'd done nothing, unlike me, who'd done everything for Raina.
Luc looked like he might say something, but one glare from me had him slipping past, slinking down the hall. My eyes tracked his slouched figure.
Raina exploded. "What the hell was that?" She rushed up to me. It didn't do much -- her height failed to match mine.
"I'm protecting you, Raina," I growled back, my eyes still on Luc's retreating figure. I knew he could hear us, but I didn't care.
"No you weren't! You just lashed out at him for no reason! You're being a jerk!"
I narrowed my eyes on her. Her entire face was red, and her pale eyes looked to be on fire. But then I'd remembered how she'd looked just moments ago, so bright and bubbly and friendly as she talked to Luc. So different from me; the cold, heartless girl who never let anyone in.
We stared at each other for a few moments longer. Just as I though the tension would snap the room in half, she spat, "You're a bitch."
My face slackened. She might as well have stuck a dagger in my heart.
I didn't do anything as she turned away and left. But as I stared after her, feeling hopeless, it weren't the words that killed me. No, it was her voice. I heard the hatred in it, the resentment directed at nobody but me. I could see it in her eyes, the way they glared at me as though I were the enemy. As though I were nothing.
And that alone hurt me more than I cared to admit.