Ivana
It was a long flight to Dubai with the man I can never choose to ignore.
I rested on his chest as I hear his slow breathing. Pakiramdam ko ligtas ako sa yakap niya. The security that his presence makes me realize is undeniably real. Ngunit hindi parin nawawala sa isipan ko si Jed. I hope he understands. Kahit alam kong ako ang nagkamali. Ako ang may kasalanan.
" Luigi" I whispered his name, enough for him to hear.
" Bakit?" He looked at me and kissed my temple.
" Nasusuka ako" I really wanted to cry. Kanina pa ako nasusuka. Tapos nasa eroplano pa kami. He guided me up, sinamahan niya ako papunta sa lavatory ng eroplano.
Nang makarating kami dun ay dun na ako sumuka. I know that this is a normal symptom of pregnancy but still, the feeling is so uncomfortable.
Nakayakap lamang siya sa likod ko na para bang anumang oras ay matutumba ako.
Dahan dahan niya akong pinaharap sa kaniya at siya na ang nagpunas nung naiwang suka ko sa labi.
I can see sincerity in his eyes.
" I'm sorry" I whispered, enough for him to understand. Niyakap niya lamang ako ng mahigpit.
" I love you" Tanging sagot niya.
Buong biyahe ay halos hindi na nakatulog si Luigi dahil nakabantay ito sa akin. I have never thought that he would be this thoughtful.
Pakiramdam ko rin ay sobrang tagal nung biyahe dahil narin sa masama ang pakiramdam ko. But Luigi is very supportive. He knows what he is doing. Nagpumilit siya na huwag nalang akong tumuloy at kahit siya nalang ang mag attend ngunit masnagpumilit akong sumama. I don't want to fall lying on my own words.
It did not take long before we finally reached Dubai. We checked in a single hotel room. There's no need for a separate bedroom. Alam kong hindi rin lang papayag si Luigi kung sakali man.
Sobra sobra ang pag alalay sa akin ni Luigi. And I can't help but to admire his simple ways.
" Luigi, I am pregnant, not hemiplegic. I can still do it myself" I told him. Huminga ito ng malalim bago muling nagsalita.
" Are you hungry? Anong gusto mong kainin? Would you like me to order anything?" He asked. Tumango ako.
" I don't have any cravings Luigi. My problem is nausea and vomiting. Pero kailangan kong kumain. I need to sustain your child." I told him as a matter of fact. I never knew pregnancy would be this hard. Iyung ibang mga babae parang hindi buntis dahil wala manlang pregnancy symptoms and yet here I am, struggling with a major pregnancy signs and symptoms.
My olfactory shelter had been craving his own scent. It's the only medicine my body accepts. And I feel like a clingy woman, attached to him most of the time just because his scent alleviates my nausea. Palagi akong nakayakap sa kaniya. Palagi akong nasa tabi lang niya and the brute likes it so much that it brought smirk on his face everytime I clung into him like a leech.
" You stay here. I will attend the meeting tomorrow. The email stated that it would just be for five hours. Maybe I'll take an early exit. I'll just ask my friend from another hospital to share with me the details of the meeting I will miss." He said while we were eating. Prutas lang ang tinatanggap ng tiyan ko ngayon. And Luigi was the one peeling the fruits for me.
" Mag-aatend ako. I hope my nausea and vomiting would subside tomorrow. I also want to learn" I told him.
" I will just ask some recorded videos from the-" I had spoken.
" Hindi na kailangan, Luigi. Aatend ako. That's my purpose in coming here" I told him. Huminga ito ng malalim obviously not wanting to argue with me more.
" Balatan mo iyung strawberry. Ayoko iyung may balat" I muttered. He obliged without question. Siya na din nagpapasubo sa akin nung prutas pagkatapos niyang balatan.
" I'll get fat, Luigi. You won't be looking at me like that next time" I honestly told him.
" Shut up and eat, Vana. Dahil kahit tumaba ka pa. Sasambahin ko parin iyang katawan mo." He muttered.
" Too early to say that though. Nasasabi mo lang iyan kase di pa ako mataba ngayon. Try mo sabihin iyan kapag balyena na ako. Tignan natin kung di mo ko ipagpalit" I countered. Para akong nagsisimula ng away na hindi naman talaga. I just want to tell him some things he should look forward to.
" Wanna try me hmm. We should get married then so that I could prove to you that I won't look at other women" It sounded like a threat to me.
Married agad.
" Nagawa mo pa talagang isingit ang kasal ha" I told him.
" The earlier the better. It's okay with me to have you walking in the isle proud with my baby. Either way, I will marry you before he comes out" He smirked.
And he?
" Wala pang gender and anak ko, huwag mong pangunahan" Sambit ko habang ngumunguya.
" Anak natin. That's mine" He said proudly.
" What if I did not get pregnant, Luigi. Would we still have this kind of communication?" I slowly ask him na para bang isang normal lang na pag-uusap ang ginagawa namin ngayon.
" I won't stop at anything, just so you know. Ang hirap ng wala ka. Sobra. I cannot open my eyes and look at you happy with another man. It has always been my innate feeling to steal you and do what ever it takes to have you mine again. I cannot give you up, Ivana. You may have given us up but I never did." He stated then placed another peeled strawberry in my mouth.
" Kahit magmakaawa akong lubayan mo ako?" Wika ko sa boses na parang nagsisimula ng away.
" Yes" Simpleng tugon lamang niya.
" Nung unang may nangyari sa atin. Was that planned?" I took all the courage to ask him a very private question.
" No. It wasn't" He peeled another strawberry.
" But you know my menstrual cycle don't you. Natatandaan mo pa kung kailan ang ovulation period ko kaya iyung mga sumunod na may nangyari sa atin, it was already mostly during my ovulation periods" Hindi niya ako sinagot pero nagpatuloy parin ako.
" Were you planning to get me pregnant in the first place?" Tanong ko parin.
" Gusto mo pa ba ng mansanas?" Pag iiba niya ng topic ngunit determinado akong malaman ang sagot niya.
" I triggered you with a question, Dr. Montenegro. It's just polite to fire me back with an answer isn't it?" I wanted to know. Malakas kase ang kutob kong iyun nga talaga ang gusto niya.
" Oo. Happy now. So you better eat a lot. Hindi mabubusog ang anak ko sa strawberry lang" His face is now serious.
I fixed my hair.
" Then you should keep up with my mood swings through out my pregnancy, Dr. Montenegro. I will be very demanding and too emotional. Kaya mo bang pakisamahan ang mga kadramahan ko sa pagbubuntis?" I threatened him. Knowing Luigi, he hates Obstetrics, kaya nga ni minsan ay hindi niya inisip maging OB gyne doctor. That's precisely because he hates the emotional changes a woman goes into while being pregnant. And who would have thought that he would be dealing with me now.
" Yeah" Iyun lang ang sagot niya.
" I might wake you up in the middle of the night to cook things you know" I started.
" I'll take note of that" Tanging sagot lamang niya
" Magpapasama akong kumain ng mangga sa 'yo" I continued
" I can manage. Too easy"
Talaga lang ha.
Sasabihin ko sana na patutulugin ko siya sa labas pero umurong ang dila ko. Baka di ko kayaning hindi ko siya kayakap sa gabi.
Anak bakit sa lahat ng puwede kong paglihian, tatay mo pa talaga napili mo. I will be very sad when you come out and be a total carbon copy of him. Baka maging kaugali mo pa ang papa mo. Okay lang na iyung brain cells niya ang manahin mo dahil wala akong laban sa utak ng tatay mo but please.
Para akong tangang kinakausap ang anak ko.
Naligo na kami pareho pagkatapos naming kumain. Nagpahinga na muna kami dahil pareho kaming pagod sa biyahe. He also needs rest. Inaamoy amoy ko pa siya habang nasa kama kami kaya naman ay todo ngiti ang doctor.
" Ngiti ngiti ka pa diyan eh. Kasalanan ko bang 'tong amoy mo ang napiling gamot ng anak mo sa simptomas ng pagbubuntis ko." I really wanted to cry dry. Emosyonal akong tumingin sa kaniya. I have never been this powerless. Na para bang nasa kaniya ang huling halakhak dahil pakiramdam ko mamamatay ako kung di ko siya mayakap at maamoy. I hugged him tight. At inamoy amoy ko pa iyung leeg niya dahil sa amoy niyang nagdudulot sa akin ng ginhawa. I feel so relaxed when I am hugging him.
" Sana buntis ka nalang palagi. Para lagi kang ganito kalambing sa akin" He whispered. Nilaro laro ko pa iyung pilikmata niyang mahahaba. Tapos iyung labi niyang perpekto.
This is the man who captured my heart for a very long time. Na kahit anong gawin ko, ay nakaukip parin ang mga ala ala niya sa pinakatagong parte ng puso ko.
I stared at him for a long time.
" I'm sorry for keeping everything a secret to you, Ivana. Dapat ay sinabi ko sa 'yo ang totoo. I might have not lost you. Natakot ako. I felt weak. Hindi ko naisip na isang matapang na babae ang iniibig ko. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for making you cry. And I'm sorry for loving you so much that I still find myself worthy of your love despite breaking your heart and shattering the plans we have for the future. But I want to tell you now that I am never going to leave you. Mamahalin kita ng sobra. I will cherish you all the days of my life. I will put a smile on your face. And your tears will be of happiness and contentment. Mahal na mahal kita Ivana." And with that, he sealed his promise with a kiss.
Halik na nauwi sa diligan ng petchay.
I moaned in ecstasy.
I shouted his name in pure nirvana.
Sinagad niya ng husto at umungol sa halik na kapwa naming pinagsasaluhan.
" Ahh tangina ang sarap" Ungol niya habang nilalabasan sa loob ko.
Sticky white liquid flowed out of my vagina the moment he pulled out his massive and still throbbing manhood. Pawisan itong humiga sa dibdib ko habang dinig na dinig ko ang malalakas na tibok ng puso niya.
Hinahalik halikan ko pa iyung labi niya dahil bakit ang sarap naman ata ng labi niya ngayon.
Anak pati ba naman labi ng papa mo idinamay mo pa sa paglilihi ko.
" Luigi I'm really not in control of this pregnancy anymore. Amoy mo tapos pati ba naman labi mo, gustong gusto ng anak mo." I honestly told him as I bite his lips tenderly and play with it using my tongue. Kung nakakapudpod lang talaga ng labi ang halik ay baka nga talaga napudpod na iyung labi ni Luigi dahil sa ginagawa ko ngayon.
Gustong gusto naman niya. He was loving every moment of it. Hinayaan niya akong laplapin ang labi niya habang mabagal na umuulos muli sa loob ko. His full length is hitting my cervical opening. Kung kaya't nakakabuntis ang mga galawan ng doctor na 'to dahil sagad na sagad ang gusto niya.
Masnapagod tuloy kami dahil buong hardin na ng petchay ko ang nadiligan. Baka nga mamulaklak na ito bukas na bukas. At sagana din ito sa fertilizer.
" Baka maging triplets na anak natin mahal ko" Bulong niya habang nilalabasan muli sa loob ko.
My eyes widened. Para akong binuhusan ng yelo. At biglaang nagfast forward ang isip ko. My imagination is exaggerated sometimes.
Three little Luigis running through the hallway of the hospital. Playing. All with the same faces as their father. Same eyes, same lips, same noses. And oh god! Pareho rin ng ugali. Makukulit at maiingay.
" Isa lang muna please. I am going to provide you one. Hindi ko kakayanin ang tatluhan, Luigi. Huwag kang magsalita ng ganiyan dahil baka marinig ka ng bata at mag multiply bigla" I told him.
Malakas na tawa ang naging sagot ni Luigi.
" Basta ako, dinasal ko na na tatlo iyan para sulit ang ilang taong pagkawalay ko sa 'yo." Hinalik halikan niya ang labi ko. Napapikit na lamang ako. This brute. Baka magdilang anghel pa 'to at magkatotoo nga.
I need to attend church this Sunday. I will clear my schedule for that.
PAREHO KAMING naghanda kinabukasan para sa gaganaping seminar mamaya.
Gaya kagabi, strawberry ulit at mansanas ang kinakain ko ngayon pero ayaw ni Luigi na iyung lang ang kainin ko kaya kumain ako ng kanin at fried chicken. I also need protein for the day.
With his hand on my back, we approached the venue. Nakadoctor's coat lahat. Pati din kami ni Luigi ay ganon din ang suot. We were welcomed by our co-doctors. Iyung iba ay galing din sa Pilipinas ngunit sa ibang hospital naman. We represented the biggest hospital in Manila. Dumalo din ang ibang doctors galing ng Visayas at Mindanao.
Ilang sandali pa ay nagsimula na ang seminar. The topic focused on neurosurgery. They introduced different new surgical interventions. May mga bago ring gamot na inintroduce sa amin. I really liked the discussions because with my years of service being a nurse, I learned and followed the basics until almost perfection. Ngayong isa na akong doctor, I realized that my nursing career helped me a lot to understand different kinds of perspectives in life.
The new introduced interventions are quite expensive. Hindi lahat ng pasyente ko ay kakayanin ang halaga ng operasyong iyon. But in partnership with the government, there are also some benefits that patients can attain. The government may help with the expenses.
Natapos ang seminar ng maaga. It will be resumed tomorrow. Kaya naman ay may half day pa kami ni Luigi na gumala. I actually feel better now dahil pabango ni Luigi ang ginamit ko. I may smell like a man but I don't care. For as long as I don't feel nauseated already despite being pregnant. And there's no point of it at all. Sa buong gabi naming magkasama, I already smell like him.
" Let's go back to the hotel first. Magpalit muna tayo bago tayo lalabas if you really want to visit some places here" Wika ni Luigi. Ayaw sana niya dahil baka mapano daw ako pero hello, it's not everyday that I am in Dubai.
He doesn't have any choice but to come with me and visit some places in Dubai.
Saan nga ba ang magandang puntahan dito? I am not aware of any. Hindi ko rin alam kung saan ba dito ang masarap na kainan. I totally don't have any idea.
Nagpalit muna kami ng damit ni Luigi. My baby bump is not that visible. Parang wala pa nga e kaya naman ay puwede parin akong magsuot ng gusto kong isuot.
Ngunit pinagbawalan ako ni Luigi magshorts. Kakasad pero kailangan kong huwag magshorts dahil baka di kami matuloy gumala.
I caress my tummy while looking at him.
Look at your papa anak. Ang guwapo niya oh. Baka kung maging kamukha mo nga talaga siya, marami kang paiiyaking mga babae. Kawawa naman ang mga kapwa ko babae. I'm so sad for the future generation of girls.
——
A/N : Updated May 31, 2022 4:30 PM
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Author : keszme
Story title : Deceitful Heart
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