~Andrew~
"Hey?" I looked over to see Keaton standing stiff in the doorway. His face seemed tight and confused but honestly, I might have felt as confused as he did. I couldn't understand why I felt this heavy sense of betrayal and abandonment since I left Keaton and Sam standing there alone on that stage.
When school ended I walked home without a word. Keaton thought someone took me and called his mom but Mrs.Jones just told him I was ok at the house and made him run some errands since I clearly looked upset. I didn't explain to Mrs.Jones what happened but I did have an anxiety attack when I walked through the door and couldn't stand up for a while.
After about another 20 minutes of trembling, I was able to stand up with Mrs.Jones at my side as she helped me get up the stairs, changed my bandages, and sent me to bed for the night. Her face seemed frustrated but not with me, or Keaton for that matter, as she brought me dinner and spoke with me for a bit, trying to coax what happened out of me.
Now, Keaton was standing in the doorway of the room staring at me and my personal favorite pastime of 'the silent treatment'.
I turned my head away from him, shifting on the bed to give him my back instead. Behind me, I could hear him walk further into the room with a lengthy sigh but come to a stop at the foot of my temporary bed. I could hear the footboard of the bed protest at Keaton's weight as he leaned against it, silence following.
"Andrew. What's your deal?" I could feel a light tap on the bed near my feet.
"I don't know what your problem is but you shouldn't have left school without telling me. Do you understand the scare you gave me? You could have been fucking hurt." He asked frustrated. I tensed in irritation at his question. Of fucking course I knew how it felt. If anything I felt it worse than he did considering my anxiety disorder and he has the fucking balls to ask me that question?
"Stop acting like a child Andrew and answer me cause I'm not playing the silent game with you all night."
"No," I sat up looking him dead in the eyes now. "I didn't need to tell you where the hell I was going, you just need to stop treating me like a fucking kid. I'm not your little shitty kid brother with a nasty attitude that needs your hand in mine to get to where I want to go." I pointed at him, shuffling closer to the end of the bed to jab him in his chest accusingly.
"You think you were scared? Get the fuck out of my face, you've got to be kidding me." I scoffed, shaking my head and eyeing Keaton up and down. He seemed taken aback by my sudden intrepidity but didn't move.
"Andrew, calm down," His voice lowered soothingly.
"Don't fucking tell me to calm down asshole."
"No Andrew-"
"Stop treating me like a fucking child Keaton! I don't need your help!"
"Andrew I didn't mean to-" I interrupted.
"You didn't but you did and I had a fucking anxiety attack because of it!"
Keaton chose not to speak again, only walking up to me with a frustrated stature and enveloping me in a crushing hug. I fought and wrangled for a second before a hiccup slipped my lips. My body froze, my hand reaching up from behind Keaton's shoulder to touch my cheek, the skin soaked and hot.
"You're gonna throw yourself into another anxiety attack so just shut the fuck up for a second." He whispered gently in my ear. His grip on me tightened for a moment only to break so he could sit down on the bed next to me keeping me in a silent embrace. I focused on my breathing, closing my eyes and counting in for 4 out for 4, before nodding my head and tapping Keaton's broad shoulder to silently ask him to let go.
"I'm sorry for scaring you." He whispered, his hand was still resting on my shoulder as we pulled away from each other, our knees touching at the bend of the bed. I took in the small details of his face, noting the small beauty mark next to his right eye and the way his plump lips seemed a little dried out and brittle most likely from the cold outside. Nothing infringed his smooth olive skin, no indents or scars or signs of acne. Just the little spot next to his eye and light stubble.
"Mhm." His face scrunched at my short response but he choose to stay quiet, giving me the freedom to add on to my acknowledgment of his apology. I wasn't really sure what to say since I didn't really understand what I was feeling but only one question continued to pop into my head since my encounter with Sam and Keaton from earlier at school.
"What were you guys laughing about and why did he seem so," I searched the room for a word to describe what I felt I had seen in the room behind the confines of the curtain inside that school auditorium.
"Friendly?" Keaton asked trying to fill in my blank.
"Yeah that," I glanced down to see my fingers twisting and turning in my lap trying not to become suffocated in the awkward silence I was creating between us. "Why were you with him instead of walking to class with me and J?" I peered up realizing his teasing gaze as his face seemed to be contorted into a grin.
"What the hell is so funny now?" My irritation spiked.
"Oh, nothing."
"No, no tell me I'm curious."
"Are you jealous?" He asked, chuckling.
"What?" My voice deadpanned at his stupid question.
"Well, now that I think about your reaction I would say you were jealous. I noticed you were ripping at your bottom lip when Sam put his hand on my shoulder." He laughed loudly this time, letting himself loosen the tension in the room.
"Piss off Keaton. I don't get jealous." I turned to lay back down on the bed facing the wall to ignore Keaton's meaningless teasing.
"You're cute," He chuckled out, reigning in his hysteria. My cheeks flamed but I didn't push them away this time since Keaton couldn't see my face anyway.
"But seriously we're friends, he's a good guy I met when I was going to actual therapy before they let me go despite my mom wanting me to continue the sessions. He's been to therapy for a couple of his own sessions but we just met in the lobby one day." I tilted my head to look at Keaton as he shrugged.
"He helped me at one point but recently disappeared, said he was called in from the town over to do someone a favor or something. He's a little weird but he's a good person." I eyed Keaton at his description of irrelevancy that only made the itch in the back of my head throb again. Never in my encounter with Sam did I get a feeling that he was a good person. He made me feel weak and pitied even though he knew nothing about me.
"Whatever. I don't like him, no amount of you giving me the "he's a good person" bullshit is gonna change my mind."
"I wasn't gonna force you, Tiger. What's up with you why do you seem so," My head snapped to Keaton's face as he struggled to find a nice way of trying to word what he wanted to say.
"Irritated?" Keaton pulled his hand off my shoulder, reaching back to grab the nape of his neck.
"Mhm." He nodded, eyes softening. I looked behind him to see the bedroom door creak open softly as the a/c kicked on, blowing from out in the hall into the room. Keaton's eyes continued searching the room, waiting for me to fix the ever uncomfortable silence.
I eyed him a moment longer before fixing my posture to sit in front of him again with a sigh, "I know Jamie didn't mean it negatively but he snapped his fingers in my face and it just pissed me off. Not to mention then I couldn't fucking find you since the speech to walk with me and J to class." I shrugged, fingers massaging my temples before rubbing my eyes, exhausted.
"Sorry again," Keaton added.
"I forgive you," I whispered.
A comfortable silence fell over us as we sat there on my bed comfortably. I looked into his eyes as he watched mine in mutual content at the silence. I don't know how long we sat there just looking at each other but my ribs started to hurt. It was nice to just be in someone's presence without anything more than their reassuring smile and the peaceful quietness of the world.
I could feel a smile cracking in the corner of my lips as I watched Keaton's eyes follow my motion with a smile in his features to mirror my own.
"What are you smiling about?" He whispered giddily.
"You." I chuckled, my smile spreading further across my features. Keaton's figure seemed to tense for a second before he coughed and looked down at the floor. My slow ass couldn't figure out why he was being so weird till I registered what I said.
"W-well I mean like you talking to me and dealing with me even when I'm irritated is what I meant cause it's been a long day and I didn't mean for that to sound weird at all." I stammered through my sentence getting to my feet to put some space between us as my rib slightly protested letting me know it was getting around time for me to take my pills.
"Tiger, I know it's fine, I'm the one who made it weird," he stood up with me, walking over to his own bed passing me with a distance warry of touching me. I placed a hand over my chest settling it down before turning to go downstairs for my pills.
This is too awkward.
I took a deep breath turning into the dining room to find papers scattered around the table again, some with my name on them just like this morning. I froze, being quiet as I watched Mrs.Jones read a paper before grabbing another paper with pitched brows as her glasses slowly slid down her face.
I started to feel like I was watching something I shouldn't be and coughed to get her attention, giving her a scare.
"Oh my goodness honey, I almost shit myself." I froze awkwardly at the sound of profanity on Mrs. Jones's tongue, something I was incredibly foreign to. She seemed to notice her slip up and coughed awkwardly, looking around at the papers on the table with a hand over her heart.
"Um excuse my language I'm just really tired and you scared me," She shook her head with a soft chuckle pulling her glasses away from her face to massage her temples and eyes. I watched her motions as one that I just did not too long ago when I was getting frustrated with Keaton. Was she mad at me now?
I forced my body to walk past her into the kitchen, grabbing the pill bottle and a cup of water before walking back into the dining room to sit down next to Mrs.Jones quietly. She reached all around the table hurriedly trying to collect her papers, something she did this morning on my way out the door.
"Mrs.Jones?" She pulled her chair back and stood up, neglectfully grabbing the papers and manilla folders and shoving them out of view.
"Yes, love?"
"Are you mad at me?" Mrs.Jones froze before turning to look over her shoulder, a sigh leaving her lips as she sat back down and gestured to my pills. I nodded unscrewing the cap and popping two into my palm before showing her, a nob signaling that I could take them. Swallowing them down with water, I set the cup down looking back at Keaton's mom rubbing her temple again.
"I could never, and I mean never, be mad at you." She shook her head slowly, ceasing her hands from her face and setting them down on the table, looking over at me with a weak smile.
"Then can I ask you something?"
She chuckled at the question, "Only anything."
"Why do those papers have my name on them?"
She took a deep breath, her body tensing making me nervous. "It's really not anything to worry yourself with just yet dear."
"I wasn't worried."
She looked up at me noticing her mistake, only making me even more nervous to know it's something I'm going to have to eventually worry about.
"W- well then that's good." She glanced down at her fingers twiddling together on the table making her anxiety a little more noticeable to me. "Shouldn't you be in bed right now mister?" I smiled at her reciprocating her forced one.
"Y- yeah I guess so. My back was just pitching again but it's feeling a lot better." I stood from the table, turning to make my way back upstairs. "Thank you, Mrs.Jones"
"For nothing hun."
~~~
"Do you think she's hiding something?" Jamie asked quizzically, his head tilting in confusion as he popped another piece of broccoli in his mouth.
"I mean, I can't imagine what. If anything I'm the one who has something to hide." I sighed, rubbing my temples with my elbows on the cafeteria table.
"But she knows right?" Jamie asked, setting his fork down to focus on me.
I shrugged peering around at the tables, "Sort of."
"Andrew I don't really know what to say but she's an adult. She lived a whole life of secrets and might be hiding something." Jamie shrugged, picking up his apple juice to twist the top and drink from.
"I don't know. If she is I wish she'd just spit it out. I can't handle the beating around the bush shit." Across the cafeteria, a rowdy bunch laughed, one of the boys throwing something at a friend.
"Random question but has she always been a stay-at-home mom?"
I took a second to ponder. I never bothered to ask any of these questions. Whatever Mrs.Jones or Keaton have said to me I take in small strides while confident they wouldn't be deceitful towards me but that doesn't mean they tell me everything. "As far as I know. And I've only been here for a month now."
"Why is she a stay-at-home mom? Cleo, Jean, and Mavity all go to elementary school right?"
"Yeah, that's true." I intertwined my hands on the table. Jamie is incredibly smart so telling him about last night and the morning before was definitely a good call. He was asking me questions I didn't even know to ask myself, much less the people I'm living with.
"So what's the point of being a stay-at-home mom if there's no one to stay at home for?"
Before I could answer the question, the bell for last block rang, releasing us from lunch and filling up the halls. The last class I have is with Keaton and his best friend, Hunter, in World History which by the way is the coolest shit ever. It's like gossip from the Roman times that we all just keep talking about.
Me and Jamie exchanged goodbyes planning to meet after school at Keaton's house because I'm not sure I'm ready to face more adults than the ones at school and the ones I live with, not to mention his dad is a cop.
As soon as I stepped through the doorway I was already being called by none other than Hunter Dyer. He stood a little taller than Keaton but had a bubbly personality despite his playboy look. I've learned he's nothing but a flirt and has a new chick licking his biceps every three to four business days.
"Tiger! Little man, how ya been?!" Hunter shouted from the back of the class. My eyes peered up through my hair to see Hunter waving, and Keaton peeking up to see me enter.
"Page stop yelling," Keaton demanded, watching as I passed several people staring at me walked silently, keeping my head down.
"He just seems so gloomy man," Hunter sighed, shaking his head before placing his face back on his phone and swinging his arm around the newest catch on his lap.
I looked over to Keaton with a silent nod and smile to show my appreciation. I have no problems with Hunter at Keaton's house while I'm separately in the comfort of our room, but otherwise, Hunter is extremely social and loud, always bringing attention to himself and anyone else he chooses to put under his spotlight.
"Hey, you okay?" Keaton tapped my shoulder from the seat behind me. I still hadn't told him what was bothering me because what was bothering me was his mom and it just felt wrong to say that. Not to mention the new questions Jamie brought to the surface that made me question more than I could handle.
I nodded my head, turning around to face him with a placid smile I've come to master, "Of course I'm okay. Whos the new girl?" I jutted my head to the pretty girl giggling under Hunter's arm, her friend secretively taking pictures from across.
Keaton looked between the two before leaning in, "Would it be bad if I told you I can't remember her name?" He whispered with a smile. I giggled myself at that, sounding like one of the girls.
"Dude how do you get him to talk?" My head snapped at Hunter's gaze on me at the sound of his baritone voice. Keaton looked over at his best friend before looking over at me with a sly smile that sent my heart racing at what stupidity was ready to fall from his mouth. My face began flushing as I felt everyone staring at me, Keatons shit-eating grin spreading across his face.
"He loves me that's how," He whispered for only us to hear, his body still leaning close enough over the table for Hunter to miss it. I choked, slamming my head on the table to cover the heat engulfing all of me as Keaton's throaty laughed filled the classroom, the voices of the kids behind us drowning. I turned around keeping my face covered to direct my attention to the front of the class, holding my hands over my cheeks.
"Cocky asshole," I whispered under my breath as the teacher walked in and class began. The teacher introduced herself for the hundredth time since I've been here as I slowly felt my heart beat a little stronger, and a genuine smile spread a little further.
Once class finished Keaton and I stood next to his ride while Hunter ate some girl's face in the bed of the truck, all of us waiting for Jamie to arrive so we could head home to hang out.
"Mom said she's making pizza is that okay?" I cocked my head up to glance at the boy next to me before scanning the crowd for my friend as he did.
"Definitely."
I felt a sudden shift of the truck against my back, Hunter grunting and his new toy giggling as they hopped out of the trunk. He came up next to us looking bored as he too scanned the crowd. I could hear the girl sigh under his arm as her eyes fluttered shut. I pressed down the urge to roll my eyes and tell her not to get too comfortable since she'd be replaced by next week, figuring it'd be better for her 'lover' to break the news instead.
"Who the hell are we waiting for?" Hunter scanned, looking at all of the robust girls and cocky guys running around the parking lot to their cars. Keaton didn't bother to respond, simply rolling his eyes and looking down at me.
"Jamie. We're waiting for Jamie, Hunter." I deadpanned keeping my eyes out on the crowd. Jamie usually ran late when it came to meeting up, this would be the first time however that Hunter would be coming with us too.
"Who the fuck even is that? Does she have a car she can take and just meet us there?" He grumbled, causing his purse to giggle. Keaton chuckled at Hunter's misuse of pronouns but I decided not to correct it.
"No, she doesn't. And she's my friend so she's gonna ride with us. You have a car don't you Hunter? Why don't you take you and your accessories to our house with your means of transportation and we'll see you there." I suggested, Keaton chuckling next to me to lighten the snappy tone of evergrowing impatience towards his best friend.
Hunter sighed again loudly, beginning to walk back to the bed of the truck, "My name is Page." He grumbled out, leaving us alone.
"He's not wrong though," Keaton stated, lightly nudging his elbow against my shoulder. I looked up, my teeth biting into my cheek as I too started becoming impatient with my own friend who was still nowhere to be seen.
Slowly but surely cars filled out the school parking lot, some full of teenagers to the brim while others were taken by their drivers alone without a single passenger. After another 10 minutes of waiting, I started walking back to the school. Jamie is a punctual person, always one step ahead of everyone else in his studies and life. I felt a tug in the back of my head, my hand reaching back to massage it as Keaton called me from behind.
I started jogging, pushing open the double door, and running straight for his last block, the gym. If there is one thing Jamie wasn't good at it was physical Education. He not only hated taking part in the activity but hated how dirty it was, he hated to sweat and the smell of men in the locker room that suffocated him while he tried to exchange clothing. He hated the feeling of being watched and hated showing his body as he stressed to me before how flimsy his physique was.
The gym is located on the other side of the school, a massive tin being the making of P.E. where kids like Jamie were ambushed by bullies. Not to mention some of the boys in his class that he's told me about don't seem like the nicest bunch. My breathing started coming in shallow as I ran, the faint sound of another pair of footsteps not far behind.
I knew I should have done something but what? What could I of all people possibly do to keep Jamie safe from bad people? The moment Mrs.Jones goes to give me a kiss on the cheek or Keaton tries to hug me I feel like a knife is cutting down my windpipe into my abdomen. Touch isn't my strong suit and they don't call kids like Jamie and I pushovers for nothing, touch is inevitable.
"A- Andrew wait!" Keaton's voice bounced through the halls behind me faintly as I took another sharp right, and pushed straight out of two double doors into the gym, the boys' and girls' locker rooms on the other side.
I stopped, taking a second to hear my surroundings, noticing you could hear a pin drop at the echo bouncing through here. I myself haven't had the privilege of taking P.E. yet but I've walked with Jamie here enough times to know where it was.
From the outside, it looked like shit but inside was incredibly spacious and sporty, with baskets hanging from poles against all four corners of the walls used for basketball and weird tubes in the shapes of circles in a large pile on the floor in an assortment of colors. On the other side was a bunched-up net next to a bin full of different types of balls and next to that were stacked rows of cones.
I took a deep breath, putting some air through my lungs as Keaton slammed open the doors behind me and came to a stop next to me.
"What's wrong Andrew, where are you going?" Keaton's eyes searched me up and down, before turning to look around at what I was seeing.
"This is Jamie's last block, I'm gonna go check the locker room." I passed him up, walking towards the door labeled with 'BOYS' next to the handle. I glanced back at Keaton to see him standing on the far side of the gym in front of the double doors, throwing me a small wave. With a deep breath, I pushed the door open, my heart clogging my throat and stopping the air.
It smelt rotten in the hot and heavy atmosphere just as Jamie said. I peaked around looking for his small figure, taking a couple of steps more when I still heard no sound. To my left, a door loosely swung at the mercy of whatever amount of a/c was blowing against it.
I breathed against my heart's desire and walked in further, placing a hand over my chest to peak around the corner. Looking down at the black tufts of hair on the floor leading to a whole mop of hair, my breath hitched at the sight.
"KEATON!"
Someone get help.