This felt really weird. I was all dressed up in sweats and a t-shirt, waiting outside what looked like some kind of fitness studio. Wayne had quickly gone to buy us each a bottle of water while I stayed behind and waited for him. A bunch of pregnant couples passed me to go inside and just as I predicted, we were the only teenagers there. Strangely enough, none of the other people gave me dirty looks or anything. A few minutes later, Wayne came jogging down the hall towards me.
“Here you go.” He said, handing me a bottle of water and wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
“Ready?”
“I think I am.”
“Then let’s go.” He guided me into the room with his hand on my lower back. Everyone was waiting for the instructor o show up. We took a seat next to a couple who had already sat down and was in the middle of an animated conversation. I looked around the room, an uneasiness settling over me again.
“Is this your first baby?”
I turned to the lady next to me who was smiling kindly.
“Um, yeah. It’s our first.” I said, motioning to Wayne next to me.
“How far along are you?” the friendliness in her tone still evident.
“I’m thirty weeks.”
“Hey, me too, but this is my second one. The first one is barely even here and his sister is already on the way.”
“Wow, I’m not ready for the first one, just thinking about another one scares me.”
She laughed. “Oh, the first one is the scariest. You’re clueless and terrified about every little thing. You can’t even warm a bottle without calling your mom.”
“In that case I’m probably fine. For obvious reasons I still live with my parents and they offered to jump in anywhere they can help.”
“Well, lucky you. My poor mother, I probably drove the woman insane, calling her at three in the morning because Luke wouldn’t stop screaming.”
“I guess I am lucky, but you know, I don’t want to just dump everything on my mom and dad. I’ve put them through enough already.”
“How so?”
“Well, being a pregnant teenager isn’t exactly in the handbook on how to be a good daughter.”
“If your mom wants to help, then I’m going to say she’s forgiven you and if she’s forgiven you, then your dad probably has too. So it doesn’t sound like they’re holding it against you.”
“They don’t, but I still feel like I disappointed them. They never expected this of me and it’s not something I can undo.”
“At first you might have disappointed them, but we all make mistakes. It’s part of life. Sure, some mistakes might seem bigger than others, but it shouldn’t keep you from seeing the good things in life. Take my son Luke for example. I was on the verge of getting a promotion at work that would send me and my husband to Australia, but then we found out I was pregnant. Along the way, there were complications and I couldn’t travel, so they gave the promotion to someone who could. I was devastated. I kept thinking about how I missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime, when instead, I should’ve been thinking what an amazing blessing it was to be having a little boy. I knew that promotion slipped through my fingers for a reason and there’s not a day that goes by that I’m not happy I got him instead. In fact, we loved him so much, we decided to have another one.” We laughed together. “I’m Andy by the way.”
“Jamie.” I said, shaking her hand. “And this is my boyfriend Wayne.” I tilted my head towards him.
“Hi.” Wayne said politely.
“Nice to meet you Wayne.” she said, shaking his hand as well. “You’ve found yourself a fine young lady right here.”
He snorted. “I know. She reminds me of that everyday.”
The two of them laughed and I elbowed Wayne in the ribs. We continued to chat for a little while and we found out her husband’s name was Daniel. He seemed like a great guy and from what Andy told us, he sounded like a great dad too. The two of them were really an attractive couple, so I could only imagine how good-looking their kids must be. Other than that, we talked about their babies. They were having a little girl and they were still deciding on a name. It was between Annabelle and Aaliyah, so I put my vote in for Annabelle. We couldn’t talk about ours too much though, since we wanted to keep the gender a surprise. All we could tell them were the names that we liked, which were Nerissa for a girl and Logan for a boy. In our period of conversing, the instructor finally decided to make an appearance and asked us to sit in a circle with the men behind the women.
“Welcome everyone to today’s class. For those of you who haven’t been here before, my name is Talia and I will be your instructor today. Let us begin with a basic breathing exercise. I want the men to all lay their hands on their partner’s shoulder and take deep breaths. Ladies, synchronize your breathing with theirs.”
And so we did. Deep breath in, deep breath out. It was oddly enjoyable breathing with Wayne. It was like we were connected somehow.
“Okay, now gentlemen, I want you to move your hands to your partner’s abdomen and continue the breathing. Don’t press down on her belly, just lay your hands there.”
So once again we followed. Everyone else was following her orders without complaint as well, so it must have been the norm to do this at these classes.
“Breathe deeply, feel on another, feel the energy coursing through your partner’s body!”
Okay, I might not have been a regular here, but that definitely doesn’t sound normal.
“Yes, that’s it! Feel it!” she said, a little too passionately in my opinion. “Become one with your partner!”
“It’s illegal to do that in public.” a guy across the circle said and we all laughed at him.
“Yeah, you can stop now guys. That was only a joke. The real breathing exercises are the same, just without all the weird passionate stuff. So let’s go on.” she said and we continued.
So the class went on normally. She taught us the basics of breathing and how that would make things easier during the birth. She also showed the guys how to hold us and what to do when we needed soothing, so Wayne and I actually had some bonding time. He followed her instructions meticulously, putting his hands on my bump when she said so, or massaging my shoulders when she said otherwise.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he whispered into my ear as he rubbed his thumbs into the back of my neck.
“Very.” I said in almost a moan with my eyes closed.
“Well you owe me. You have to rub my neck too if you want me to do this again.”
“Oh, I’ll rub more than just your neck if you’ll do this again.”
“Did you just mean what I think you meant?’
“Oh yes I did.”
“Well stop saying stuff like that. You heard that guy. It would be illegal for us to start something in public.”
I laughed and we continued. Right now, it was insanely relaxing, but I was guessing that once the labor pains kicked in, some animalistic screaming would ensue. The picture I had in my head wasn’t very pleasant. For the next half hour, Talia showed the women special breathing techniques they can do on their own and then she gave the men a motivational speech of sorts and then prepared them for the event by showing the entire class a video of an actual birth. It was horrifying to say the least. Blood, sweat and agonizing screams didn’t seem like the ‘magic’ description I’d heard of having a baby, but this video did confirm the gnarly vision I had in my head earlier. Finally, two hours and a break after we’d shown up, class was over and the thought that I’d actually learned some useful stuff made me feel like I’d accomplished something. Why couldn’t school feel like that? We said goodbye to our new role models, Andy and Daniel, and made our way home. The reality of it all was scary. Every minute that passed, I was closer to being a mother and by looking at what I’ve learned today, bring that little bundle of joy into the world would be no easy task. It was probably going to be harder for Wayne than it was for me, because he wouldn’t have drugs at his disposal to calm his nerves. Looking at him now, he might just surprise me. Wayne always turned out to be stronger than he looked, like earlier this week when he stood up to those girls in the supermarket for me. This whole situation has just made him stronger. Our relationship may have been rocky and unethical at times, but if there’s one thing that I knew for sure, it was that he loved me and I can’t believe I ever doubted that. I looked at him lovingly as we drove home. This wasn’t the Wayne I knew when I was a kid, this was a better version… this was a man. In such a short time, Wayne had changed so much. His physical appearance was different. He was bigger, more muscular and I’d been around him so much lately that I’d gotten used to the slight appearance of facial hair. There was a seriousness in his eyes that made him seem unapproachable, but other times there was that spark of kindness or that mischievous glint that I loved so much. Sometimes they would they were on fire with passion and then they would fade back into a calmness, a look of contentment.
“I love you.”
My declaration was out of nowhere, but he’d heard the words enough before to not be surprised by them. A small grin slipped onto his face and he glanced at me.
“I love you too.”
“Pull over.”
His grin disappeared. “Is something wrong?”
“No, just pull over.” And he did, turning off the engine and turning to look at me. I took his face in my hands and stared straight into his eyes. “I love you Wayne and I don’t mean this ‘love’ that people declare the first chance they get. I mean the type of love you read about in romance novels, the type of love I’ve seen couples still share after fifty years of marriage. That’s the way I love you.”
He gave me a puzzled look with an eyebrow arched and his mouth slightly ajar. “Are you high?”
“No.” I said, frowning at him.
“Well then, are these the hormones speaking?”
“No, this feels different. I looked at you… and then I felt this way.”
He stared at me for a few more seconds, probably thinking I was off my rocker, but then the crinkle in his brow smoothed away and then he reached out his hand to run his knuckles along my cheek.
“I think I love you that way too.” he said. “I mean, now that I think about it, it’s never been about the physical stuff with us. Just laughing together makes me happy. I’ve always wanted to marry you and even though we had terrible timing, I’ve also always wanted to have a baby with you.”
I smiled and kissed the palm of his hand that was resting against my cheek. His lips met mine in a tender kiss, but it ended just as quickly as it began.
“Now that we know of our undying love for each other…” he started to say with a smile. “Let’s talk about our plan.”
I smiled and agreed.
“For the time being, living arrangements will stay as they are. You’ll stay with your parents and I’ll stay with my dad. How will thing’s work once the baby’s here?”
I thought about it for a second. “You can have him on the weekends.”
His eyes narrowed playfully. “Why can’t I have her every second week?”
“Because I’m selfish and babies need their mothers.”
“Okay, we’ll discuss that one later. When do you plan on getting married?”
“As soon as I find the right guy.”
That seemed to irk him, but he played along. “Will you at least let me know when you find him?”
“Of course I will. I have to introduce him to the competition.”
His smile was back. “Seriously now, when?”
“I don’t know. Somewhere along the lines of going to college.”
“We have to see where we get in first, so we’ll put that off until later as well.”
“Maybe we should discuss this at home.”
“Okay. Home it is.”
He started the car back up and drove away. I didn’t really care where we discussed it. I just wanted to be with him ad I knew that wish would be granted.