(A/n: This chapter has edits from when it was originally published on March 29th 2022)
Trust is a rare thing for most people to have in one another. It is also hard to earn and give to others. This was my case when I met those humans so long ago. It was simple with the turtles due to them being similar to me in the sense of often being judged, but that wasn't enough for me to be open with them. When it came to April and Casey, I found myself turning my walls of stone into steel. Human's have always been judgemental creatures, both to those who weren't human and those who were. They fear what they do not understand and often want something they can't understand to simply disappear.
That was always my experience with humans at the time, they always judged my family because they didn't understand how a demon and a human could love each other and feared what a half-demon was capable of. A large burn, animalistic fangs and claws, along with enhanced senses often have me trouble. My burn becomes uncomfortable in the mornings, I can't count the times my fangs and claws have accidentally cut me, and my enhanced senses lead to... interesting discoveries. We do not ask to born a certain way, nor do we ask to be born. Humans have a tendency to ignore this fact, and proceed to continue their judgment. I realize that not all humans are like this. Tanjiro Kamado, along with his friends, are examples of humans who are willing to listen, understand, and accept the way my family and I am.
During this time, I was more trusting towards the turtles than the humans. Perhaps this was because I outright didn't like humans at the time, or maybe it was because they were so much more docile than the humans I met throughout my life. You would think time would give me some sort clarity in my past. I remember a night where things actually started to progress with me and the group.
It was a cool and peaceful night, and I wasn't hungry so I ended up skipping dinner. It had been three days since I found the farm, although I spent most of those three days sleeping. I sitting on the steps of the front door and leaning on the railing, the wood wasn't as prickly as you would expect. I was still wearing my usual shirt and pants. I remember debating finding a river and washing the clothes myself, perhaps a lake the wash my body as well. That was when April came out the door. "Hey," she greeted as she stood behind me. If you asked the me how I felt about April's persistence in trying to befriend me at the time, I would've told you how annoying I found it. I often pushed away or shrugged off any attempts she made at having an actual conversation, which is what I was doing at that moment. "It sure is a nice night, don't you think?" April asked.
I thought about telling her to leave me alone, to not attempt a conversation with me. "Sure..." I mumbled. I swear I saw her eyes lighten up when she heard me respond, although I didn't understand why at the time. Apparently my response to her was her invitation to sit a step above me.
"Mikey was pretty glum when you didn't come inside for dinner," she said. I didn't really react, although I did feel a bit bothered that the orange clad turtle that was always smiling was glum. "You don't talk much, do you?" April questioned. I merely looked at her, which didn't do much. I returned my gaze back towards the forest, hoping she would take the hint. "You know, it wouldn't hurt to try something other than sleeping all day," she continued.
"Go away." I said. That was probably the firmest I had ever been with her, but I didn't want her to continue to talk to me even though I never responded to her. Perhaps I could've been nicer, but the past has past, right? She seemed surprised that I had actually spoke instead of mumbled, but she seemed more surprised at what I had said.
"What's wrong? I'm just trying to-"
"I don't trust you." I stated as I cut her off. To be honest, April was on the border between admirably persistent and annoyingly pushy back then.
"What?" April questioned. She sounded as though it was the most abnormal thing in the world for me to not trust her. I didn't respond that time, I didn't want to talk to her more than I had to. I wasn't the most talkative with April, nor was I the most responsive to her. There was something about her scent that didn't sit right with me back then. The conversation didn't go any farther than that. April held a hurt expression as she went back into the house, I didn't bother to stay out any longer.
-
I can't remember how late it was, but the moon was beginning to sink when I was woken up by someone nudging me from me slumber. I opened my eyes and saw Donatello looking at me with a disappointed scowl with his arms crossed. I didn't quite know why he looked so upset, but I think I was more annoyed by the fact that he woke me up. "So, care to explain your attitude towards April?" he asked. I truly didn't have an answer for him, seeing as my mind was trying to keep up with what he was saying. After a moment or so, he spoke up again. "What you said to her was out of line, (Y/n)."
That's when it clicked. April had either told the others about what happened on the porch, or he overheard what I had said. "I don't trust her.." I muttered, exhaustion was evident in my voice, but I don't think he cared much.
"That doesn't excuse how you spoke to her." Donatello stated. I found it odd as to how he was defending her when he himself said that I wasn't going to shake hands with every person I met. I didn't understand why he was giving me a lecture. "You should apologize," he said as he walked away. I didn't know what I was supposed to apologize for. After all, when has a human that was my mother or my friends in the Demon Slayer Corps apologized to me?
-
It was afternoon, I wondered how long I was asleep. I also wondered why I would even wake up at such an hour since I wasn't going to do anything but sleep. Instead of instantly shutting my eyes, I looked up at the wooden ceiling, nothing was really coming through my mind. I thought back to the other night, perhaps I was too harsh on April. Perhaps there was a nicer way of putting how I felt. I don't think I'll ever know why she was so persistent that night, but I do know that I was certainly rude towards her. (A/n: Edits have been made beyond this point) "So.. who am I meeting again?" an unfamiliar voice questioned. It sounded tired a hoarse, and that it was also near the barn. I smelled something new, but also familiar. I sat up on the cot and turned my body towards the entrance of the barn as I waited for something to come through.
"(Y/n)! We found them passed out in the barn a few days ago. Now, they're our best pal!" Mikey exclaimed. I was shocked about how he referred to me, seeing as I was never referred to as such before then. "They're a little cautious at first, but they'll warm up to you in no time!" Mikey continued as they entered the barn with a turtle I hadn't seen before.
He didn't have a mask when we first met, which showed me how tired he really looked. There were heavy eyebags, and his face looked rather thin. His eyes were an ocean blue that reminded me of an old friend, it was nice to say the least. He was also leaning on a wooden crutch, showing he was injured. "Morning, (Y/n), this is Leo. Leo, this is (Y/n)." April introduced as they all walked a little closer to me.
I pulled my legs up to my chest and held them close, which made them stop. "Hey, don't worry (N/n), this is just my big bro, Leo!" Mikey said with a wide grin on his face. Leo gave a small wave, and a small, yet kind smile as he looked at me.
"I'd introduce myself properly if I were feeling better, sorry," he apologized. I was surprised, but I could tell he was the more formal person out of the group.
"..It's fine.." I mumbled in a whisper, although it didn't look like he heard me very well. Unlike last night, I couldn't seem to find my voice to speak up for him as he tilted his head.
"They said it's alright." April said as she looked at Leo. "I guess we should've mentioned that they're not exactly a vocal person. They usually respond with sounds or gestures," she further explained. Leo gave a nod as he looked back at me, I simply looked away. It was interesting to see one of the turtles without a mask, it was a rare sight to say the least. Looking back on it, Leo was actually quite handsome without the mask. More questions were asked, and not as many answers were given. They soon left after words, leaving me alone once more.
For once, during that time, I began to feel lonely. Perhaps it was because of how happy they looked when they left. Back then, I was able to talk to Tanjiro and has friends throughout the night before they had to leave again. I grew tired again, and eventually fell asleep.
-
"Raph! Where are you?!"
I jolted awake and nearly fell off the cot upon hearing the loud voice. It was night fall, leading me to believe it was safe to walk out. When I did, the others were looking around frantically.
If I only I woke up sooner that night.
If only things went differently.
I wonder... do they still think about that night too?