I'm on my bike and I'm dreading going back to my mom's I can't say home, I haven't even spent a night there. Too worried about drugs and all that stuff, Nate I don't want to drag them along with me, into all this stuff that's just started.
The sun is setting and I arrive in front of the house. Through the window I see my mom and sisters sitting on the couch. I walk to the front door and ring the bell.
-Me: Here we go
The door opens and my mom stands in front of me. I wasn't expecting anything and that's what was happening. Or almost I stand there, motionless before her:
-Mother: You don't have anything to say to me by any chance!
-Me: What are you talking about?
-Mother: Are you kidding me?! It's been two weeks since you left! You came and didn't even spend a night! Your sister calls you and you tell her that everything is fine, that you're managing! After that, Miss Kylee totally disappears. Then you're back, as if nothing had happened!
I glare at Lexie while my mother continues to yell at me.
-Mother: I don't even know you! I don't know who you are!
-Me: Maybe you don't know me because I'm the one who left to take care of dad! If you knew everything that happened, you'd shut your mouth! Not even a phone call! You didn't check up on him, you stayed at home, quiet, while I took care of him, of his business! You didn't care and the worst thing is that even now you don't care! The important thing is that you don't have anything, the girls too! But me on the other hand, in your eyes, I am nothing! You know what? I'm out of here! Honestly, there's no point in staying with you, with someone who's supposed to be your mother but who prefers her little self to her daughter! But you know what, for me you are nothing in fact It's over You can sleep easy tonight, I'm not here anymore The burden is gone
-Mother: Don't talk to me like that! Leave if you want, I don't care, you are nothing to me!
I leave, holding back my tears, my throat tight. So tight that no sound can come out. I remember my meeting before my hospitalization, Rue. Then I decide to go to her house, after all we have a focus: drugs. I go to her house and knock on her door.
She opens it for me:
-Rue: Hi Kylee!
-Me: Hi, how are you?
-Rue: I'm fine! Uh what are you doing here?
-Me: I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out?
-Rue: Yeah that would be great, there's a party at someone's house I can't remember the name. I wasn't planning on going but if you want we can go together and get high
-Me: Uh, yeah, I'd love to. But do you have anything on you?
-Rue: Who do you think I am, of course! But don't tell anyone. I don't want any trouble and only you know.
-Me: What? That you do drugs?
-Rue: Nah that everyone knows or knew I'm supposed to be clean for 3 months but I'm lying.
I put a finger over my mouth.
-Me: Secret kept! No one will know!
She takes me by the hand and we go to the party. But just before we enter, she pulls me by the arm and points to two white lines on the bumper of a car.
-Street: One for me and one for you! And
I see her reach into her pocket and pull out two pills.
-Street: More moly!
I don't hesitate and sniff what was on the bumper. I don't know what it was, what I can say is that it feels good.
-Me: Wow!
-Rue: I know! That's fantastic!
-Me: True!
She snorts too then hands me the pill. I take it and from that moment on everything is perfect. We dance all night long, until we can't walk straight anymore. We drink, sing and a small skid is made. I am near the pool and I push a guy. He loses his balance and falls in the pool but in his fall he takes me with him.
I fall into the water and come up to the surface. I look at the guy in question and we laugh together.
-Me: Sorry!
I keep laughing.
-Hi, I'm Elliot!
-Me: Kylee! Kylee Ho Just Kylee!
He gets out of the pool and helps me out.
-Me: We're soaked!
-Elliot: Don't worry it adds to the party! Are you drunk or something?
-Me: Me? No, just a little bit in the tablecloths!
-Elliot: What are you having?
-Me: Moly with something else, I don't know what it is! But I'll tell you, it's great!
-Elliot: Do you have any more?
-Me: Nah, but I have this if you want.
I hand him a bag.
-Me: Take it but I'm giving it to you to make up for it! It costs the skin of the ass this beauty!
-Elliot: Thanks! Well I have to go! I hope we'll see each other again!
-Me: Hi!
Rue is gone I don't know where so I decide to go into the bathroom to dry my clothes. I open the door and see two people in the process of...
-Me: Sorry!
I slam the door and decide to go upstairs. I see a balcony and go to it thinking I am alone. I walk through the door and see a girl kissing a guy. Everything is normal, but the guy is startled when I walk in.
- Kylee?
I look at him and see Ash.
-Me: Ash! Oh uh I'm sorry I didn't mean to bother you.
I leave as quickly as I came and a tear rolls down my cheek.
-Me: But why am I crying for him really, I don't like him!
In my thoughts: Well, I think
I don't know what's going on so I go to find Rue to ask her to come home.
-Me: Rue?
-Rue: Yes?
-Me: Can we please go inside?
-Rue: If you want, we'll meet in 20 minutes from the front of the house. I have to find someone first.
-Me: Okay see you then!
She leaves while I go to the kitchen to pour myself a drink.
-Are you still alive?
I turn around and see Nate.
-Me: I would have hoped you bled out last time but from what I can see you're healthy.
-Nate: What about you?
-Me: What about me?
-Nate: Why aren't you dead?
-Me: I'm a witch that's why!
He blocks my way so I can't leave.
-Nate: Stop fucking with me!
-Me: Listen! I'm not looking for shit. Leave the past behind and let people get on with their lives.
-Nate: It's not my fault you fuck with people and sell drugs!
-Me: You listen to me! I did not consent, your father is a big pervert! And as for the drugs, we all need to live, we need money. But you don't understand that because you're mom and dad's son. You have everything you want! Well you know there are people who don't have it all and they have to make sacrifices! Get off me!
I push him but he won't let go.
-Me: Let go of me or this will end badly
-Nate: I'm scared!
Someone touches Nate's shoulder and he turns around.
-Ash: Let go of her man!
-Nate: What are you going to do half-ass?
I see Ash clench his fists. Nate turns to me and puts his hand on my thigh, but it's too much. I slap him but he doesn't retaliate. He looks at me then glass everywhere. Ash had taken a bottle and hit him with it. Nate falls on the ground, Ash gets on top of him and starts hitting him.
-Me: Ash stop!
Gia comes.
-Gia: Ashou stop! Look at me! Please stop!
He doesn't listen to her and continues to hit. I have to intervene!
-Me: Ash! Stop and go!
He looks at me and gets up. Leaving Nate on the ground, covered in blood. Two girls run towards Nate, I recognize Cassie and another dark haired girl.
-Cassie: But Kylee! What have you done!
She is in tears as I see Lexie in the distance, staring at me blankly.
I leave and join Rue in front of the house.
-Rue: What's going on?
-Me: I'll explain everything but move! I don't want to stay here another minute!
She nods and we leave. I am not well, I have tears in my eyes. I think about Ash, my mom, my surs, Nate, the drugs I have so much left to deal with.
-Street: Kylee?
-Me: Yes?
-Rue: You never told me how old you are. You never told me anything but your name. Tell me about yourself.
-Me: About me? That's not really great What to say except that my name is Kylee, I'm 15. I can't tell you more
-Street: Why?
-Me: Have you ever been to a drug dealer?
-Rue: No, never yet.
-Me: Then you don't have to know anything. It's not against you, it's for you that I'm not telling you anything. And I hope you don't take it the wrong way.
-Rue: You have your reasons, listen. Just like I have my reasons for taking drugs.
-Me: Don't you want to talk about it?
-Rue: Are you sleeping over?
-Me: Uh, yeah, if you want. I don't know where to go.
-Rue: If you tell me why you don't know where to go. I'll tell you my reasons
-Me: Alright little one, my parents split up for reasons I don't want to mention. I left with my father and my mother to keep my surs with her. One month ago, my father left without leaving any trace. In short, I found myself at my mother's house and the first night I ran away to get drugs. I disappeared for 2 weeks because of an accident, my mother and my guards were not aware of it. I come back and then I get fired. Small summary of today.
-Rue: Your mother is a bitch! For me it's my father. He got sick and I tried medication. I quickly became addicted and then he died. And after that, I fell apart and I overdosed. And that was it. Short summary too.
We have tears in our eyes so we hug. Rue takes me to her house and then she lets me in.
-Rue: Sorry but you have to sleep with me, I don't have a mattress and I think my mom will kill me if she finds you in the living room tomorrow.
-Me: Don't worry, I don't mind. You're not a psychopath!
We laugh then we lie down. Rue sleeps while I turn, from right to left. I get up, walk, will drink in the kitchen. But nothing makes it, a thought haunts me or rather a person: Ashtray. I don't know why, he Ahhhh I'm sad to see him with another girl but I don't like him it's not possible. I don't know
-Me: Tomorrow... I have to go see him !
I lie down again in the bed and turn all the night without managing once to close the he and to sleep. Besides, my stomach hurts terribly. I don't understand, I shouldn't have pain but I do. The pain is there. Then I search in Rue's room and find a mint, of course it is not a mint. I take it, which helps ease the pain but not completely. I don't take more because I know the risks. After all, a drug dealer has to know the risks...