A/N - I start college again this week, so if I disappear ✌🏾
TW - this chapter contains scenes some may find upsetting
~~~
"So you're coming back early?", I watched as Chase shovelled a mouthful of beautiful looking pasta into his mouth and closed his eyes with a content sigh, now I was hungry.
"April 12th", he replied after finishing his mouthful, "it would've been earlier if I wasn't surrounded by a shit ton of work". I think that was the first time I'd heard Chase swear.
"24 days", I muttered to myself and nodded, "maybe you can come and restore some peace in this house".
"Elaborate", he wolfed back another mouthful and my stomach growled which made him chuckle.
"The twins: Xav's obviously not doing too well, and Xander...he's angry", I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed, "like permanently angry".
"That's new", he muttered, "how's Xav been doing?".
"He tried to go back to school yesterday but it didn't go so well", I sighed, "he's been in his room all day apparently, I only just got back from school with Xander".
"Xander went to school willingly?", he raised his eyebrows, "is the world ending?".
"He went to see Talon", I replied and he chuckled, "oh my god, you can finally meet Ezra".
"And you still want my stamp of approval?", he asked and I nodded, "even though you've already started kissing him?". Who the hell told him that?
"Who even-".
"Xander has a tendency to share information", he shrugged and I groaned- I was never telling Xander anything again, "good on you Izzy, I'm glad you're happy". Now imagine if Caleb had the same reaction as Chase...yeah, I can't see it either.
~~
"Holy fucking shit", Ezra stared at me with wide eyes as I climbed into the passenger seat of his car, bright and early in the morning, "what are you doing darlin'?".
"Wishing you a happy birthday", I deadpanned, leaning forwards and kissing his cheek, "here you go". I put all three gift bags on his lap and he blushed, taking a peek inside one of the bags before scratching his neck and chuckling.
"You didn't have to get me all this darlin'", he muttered, a smile tugging at his lips, "thank you".
"Anytime", I grinned, "we're early, did you wanna open them now?". He chuckled and went for the smallest bag first, pulling out the two individually wrapped gifts.
"Smell?", he read the labels on both of them, "what's that mean?".
"Open them and see", I grinned and he did, smiling at the coffee scented candle and the bottle of cologne.
"Smart", he chuckled, spraying the cologne around him and inhaling, "I'm assuming you want me wearing this daily?".
"It does have a great smell", I bit my lip and he laughed, "okay, next bag". He threw the wrapping paper and now empty bag in the backseat and reached into the next bag; he pulled out the unwrapped bottle of vodka and eyed me knowingly.
"Taste", he put two and two together and I hummed, "you know me so well".
"Course I do", I scoffed.
"And another chain? Did you hack my computer or somethin'?", I did not, in fact, hack his computer - I was just a psychic, "this is sight right?".
"I'll never tell", I teased and he narrowed his eyes at me, "and yep, you're on a roll".
"You really didn't have to do all this darlin'", he reached into the final bag and pulled out a grey throw blanket, "touch?".
"Mhm", I confirmed, smiling as he ran a hand over the fluffy material and grinned.
"If I'm having a bad day I usually wrap up in a blanket and avoid people I guess", he revealed, "I'm starting to think you're a psychic". Me too, to be honest.
"What if I was?", I chuckled and he snorted.
"You wouldn't get rid of me that easily darlin'", he replied, "okay, last one". He pulled out the last wrapped present labelled 'sound' and ripped off the paper.
"Yes!", he cheered and I laughed, "I needed these- and they're noise cancelling too?".
"Perfect to drown out your siblings", I nodded.
"What else could I possibly need?", he teased, "thank you Izzy, I love it all".
"Of course, happy birthday", I pressed my lips to his and he returned the kiss; god he was something else.
~
By the time school finished and Ezra dropped me home, I could tell he wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep; all the attention had been on him today even though he didn't want us to make a fuss.
Cooper baked him a cake and carried it into school, we ate it in the library at lunch and I swear I nearly threw up; Gray sung happy birthday to him in the cafeteria which resulted in pretty much everyone joining in, and Amelia bought him a giant balloon and a badge that had a fat '17' on it.
He called us all crazy an endless amount of times but the smile that stayed on his face for the entire day told us he loved us really.
The house was quiet when I walked inside, there was no sign of Xander's car out front so I didn't know where he was, but everyone else seemed to be home.
"Isabella, is that you?", Zane's deep voice filled the house and I smiled, I'd barely spoken to my eldest brother these past few days. I located him in the library, seated on an armchair in the middle of the room with a book in his hand, since when did Zane read?
"Fancy seeing you in here", I chuckled, dropping into a beanbag opposite him, "what are you reading?".
"The Great Gatsby", he replied and I hummed, "not as interesting as your 'romance and stuff' I presume".
"Are you ever gonna let that go?", I groaned and his lips lifted into a smirk, he didn't answer though, "how was your day?".
"Quiet", he folded the corner of the page and closed it, "and yours? Productive I hope?".
"Yeah, productive", I repeated and he hummed with a raised eyebrow, his eyes on mine, "uh, where's everybody?".
"Prescott is asleep upstairs, has been for about an hour", thank god Scott was getting some sleep, "Caleb is upstairs with Xavier, and Alexander...I haven't seen nor heard from since this morning". If he was out there getting into another fight...
"Do you think he's okay?", I asked, fiddling with my hair, "I'm worried about him, Xav too".
"Elaborate", he waved a hand.
"Uh, Xander got in a fight yesterday, I cleaned him up and stuff but you might wanna check in", I started and he nodded, "and Xav said something to me at Asher's funeral that kinda scared me a little".
"What did he say?", he asked.
"He told me that he just wanted the pain gone, and that he couldn't do it", I played with my fingers, "it could've just been the grief talking y'know, but-".
"I'll check up on Xavier, thank you Isabella", he promised, "in the meantime, what would you like to eat?".
"Are you cooking?", I raised an eyebrow as he stood and stretched.
"I'll cook if that's what you want", he offered and I grinned.
"Can you make pasta?", all I could think about right now was Chase's meal from two days ago, the guy was addicted to pasta, "I don't care what pasta, just anything with pasta".
"You sound like Chase", he commented- see?, "very well, come on". I had him wrapped around my finger...
Xavier
I'd been lucky enough to spend all 17 years of my life only witnessing grief second hand; I'd never been the one actually grieving, you know?
Whether it was watching Caleb grieve for August, Parker grieving for his dad a few years ago, or even Scott for our mum; although he'd kinda kept that to himself.
I never thought I'd be the one experiencing it.
Not for now, anyway.
And definitely not for Asher - it felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my fucking chest and stamped on it; I felt fucking empty, I didn't wanna eat, I didn't want to see anyone- hell I didn't even want to breathe.
"You know I felt the same", how much of that did I just say out loud?, "it felt like I didn't even deserve to fucking live after he left me". As much as I hated to admit it, I was so fucking thankful for Caleb right now; he'd been through almost the same thing at the same age as me and I found it strangely comforting.
"I just- I can't do it", I cursed myself for letting my voice come out sounding so weak, "I don't know you did it, I don't know how I'm supposed to do it- I can't do it Cub".
"Hey", he sat next to me on the bed and cupped my chin, forcing me to look at him, "you're gonna feel like this for a while yeah? It's expected, and it's normal- nobody is expecting you to smile, talk...go back to school; you're grieving Xav, and you need to take time".
"I don't think I can do it", he wiped a tear that rolled down my cheek with his thumb and just stared into my eyes for a moment before exhaling.
"I know you can do it, you know why?", I shook my head, "because I did it. I felt fucking sick waking up every morning knowing August wasn't here anymore, I still do sometimes, but I've made peace with it- with the fact that he made the decision to leave us behind, and I know what happened to Asher was different, but you will make peace with it one day Xav. You'll wake up and you won't have that feeling anymore, hearing his name won't hurt as much as it does right now, and you'll come to terms with it. You have all of us around you, we love you, and I'm telling you now - you will get through it".
I couldn't even see straight after he finished talking, why did this have to happen to me? I could barely breathe as Caleb engulfed me into a hug, I held onto him like he was gonna disappear and leave me too.
He couldn't leave me too.
I didn't want anyone else to leave me too.
"I'm right here, none of us are going anywhere", it's as if he knew exactly what I was thinking, "I got you man".
"I need you guys", I whimpered, "you can't leave me too, please don't leave me too".
"We're not gonna leave you Xav, hey- listen to me", he squeezed me tighter and I hummed, "we've got you, okay? Not going anywhere".
"Okay", I nodded against him, he was right here, "okay". All six of them were my lifeline right now, the only fucking thing keeping me going, it would kill me if something happened to one of them.
~
Xander
I fucking loved fighting.
The adrenaline, the burning, the pain, the excitement- everything about it was this one big high that I never wanted to come down from.
Except now.
Now I fucking hated fighting.
There was no excitement, no thrill- I was fucking pissed. Because the one person who I never fought with, who I thought I'd never fight with, just told me that he 'can't do this anymore'. The fuck does that even mean?
"So what? You're breaking up with me?", I didn't know what to fucking think right now, who the fuck did he think he was?
"I can't do it Xan, you're- it's too much", excuse me?
"I'm too much? Well god, let me just drown myself in holy water and wash away all the shit that's happened to me right? Because I'm too much?", I wasn't doing this shit right now, not when my twin needed me at home, "what the fuck Talon? So that's it, we're done? What was it - the temper, the nightmares, I bet the panic attacks really pushed you over the edge right?".
For a second I actually wanted to take that back, he'd been nothing but a fucking saint with me while we were together, I'd never met someone so patient. Which is why I was so fucking confused right now.
"See what I mean? This!", he never raised his voice, "that right there! I can't do it Xander, I can't- and I get this is a bad time for you because of everything that's happening with Xav-".
"You don't get to speak his fucking name", I snapped, "yeah I'm going through a shit time right now, a real fucking shit time, and you're dumping me for it?".
"I'm dumping you for what it's doing to you- to us", I think hearing him say those first three words really made it sink in for me, "you're constantly angry, you don't even ask how I'm feeling- it's just me bandaging you after a fight or calming you down, I'm not a therapist".
"You're my boyfriend", I'd never heard my voice come out so weak in my life, "you're my boyfriend Talon, we're meant to be there for each other".
"Each other", he nodded, "not one way, it's meant to be reciprocated Xander...I'm sorry". He tried to step towards me but I moved back, my chest tightening and fists clenching- I needed to get out of here before I did something stupid.
"No I'm sorry Talon", I grabbed my jacket, phone and car keys, "that I didn't realise how much of a fucking dick you are".
Harsh?
Maybe.
Fucks to give?
Zero.
I needed a fucking drink.
~
My intention was to go get fucking pissed in a bar and drown my sorrows, but I'm 17, and I ended back at home on instinct. It was nearly ten when I stepped through the front door and slammed it- no way was anyone asleep, this house was full of either insomniacs or coffee addicts.
"Alexander?", I didn't even wanna hear Zane's voice right now, let alone see his fucking face; so when I heard his footsteps quickly approaching I knew this wasn't ending well, "I haven't seen or heard from you in over 12 hours".
"Yeah well, I'm here now", I kicked off my shoes and went to step past him, of course he stopped me, "get out of my fucking way Zane, I'm not in the mood".
"And I'm not in the mood for the attitude", he narrowed his eyes.
"Oh cry me a river", I muttered, "can you move?".
"Tell me what's happened", an order, not a question.
"Talon dumped me, is that enough for you?", I tried to step past again, only to be blocked by his fucking tall body, "fucking move Zane, I mean it".
"Are you okay?", he eyed me like I was some fucking puzzle he was trying to decipher, "if you want to talk-".
"I don't want to talk", I snapped, "I want you to move so I can have a fucking drink".
"You're not drinking", he stated and I laughed.
"Bold of you to assume I'm gonna listen to a word you say", Scott appeared from the kitchen and I groaned, "here we are, the backup".
"You need to calm down Xander", I hated that fucking sentence.
"Fuck off Scott", I spat, trying to move past the pair of them, "get out of my fucking way! My boyfriend just broke up with me, I'm sure that passes as a reason to drown my fucking sorrows".
"Alexander", I was fucking boiling, I needed to get out of here before I hit one of them.
"What? Fucking what Zane?", I scoffed, reaching into my pocket for my car keys, "I'm going out".
Was I just gonna drive in circles around the neighbourhood? Yes. Did they need to know that? Fuck no. Anything was better than standing opposite them and their fucking eye contact.
"If you walk out of that door there will be consequences Alexander", oh shiver me timbers.
"Fuck you", I gave them both the middle finger and stepped back out into the night, fuck them and their consequences.
~~~
A/N - you are all witnessing the downfall of this family 😍 it can only go down from here hehe
Next chapter is HEATED so stay tuned <3