4
I spent the whole day working and the only thing I learned today was miss ko na si Risa.
Joke, syempre marami rin akong natutunan at napulot na aral sa trabaho ko, as I should since handling a whole country isn't easy. But as I'm working, wala eh. Hindi na talaga siya umaalis sa isip ko. At this point, hindi na lang constant sa buhay ko si Risa pero pati sa isip ko na rin.
She consumes all the spaces in my mind.
Nakakapagtrabaho naman ako throughout the day and finish everything needed to be done pero the thought of her never really goes away. I don't mean as a distraction, but it's more of a comforting thought.
It makes me more motivated, more determined, but at the same time it frustrates the hell out of me kasi I can't believe I think about her that much.
While working kanina, sumagi sa isip ko na what if she finds the anonymous gifts and letters creepy? Pa'no kung turn off pala 'yun? So I made up my mind then and there na babawi ako by spending the day with her. If I can lang naman. Syempre, I can na agad.
Natatawa na lang rin ako minsan sa thoughts ko eh. If not work or my kids or Jesse, then it's Risa.
I was cooking dinner tonight. Ayokong nagpapaluto ng ulam sa iba kahit sa Malacanang na kami nakatira ng mga bata kasi hindi ayun 'yung nakasanayan namin. Buti na lang at medyo maaga natapos sa work today kaya nakakapagluto ako.
Once I finished cooking, I thought about Risa again. Kumain na kaya siya? I dialed her office number knowing na staff naman niya ang sasagot.
"Good evening, office of Senator Risa Hontiveros, how may we help you?" A voice on the other line greeted.
"Magandang gabi, nandyan ba si Senator Risa?" I asked.
Nagulat 'yung kausap kong staff kasi narinig kong may nalaglag na gamit. "Good evening po, President Robredo. Yes po, nandito po si Sen. Risa."
"Tatanong ko lang sana if she's had dinner yet? 'Wag palang sabihin na tumawag ako."
"Noted po, Ma'am. Hindi pa po siya kumakain. Hindi po siya sumabay sa amin kanina kasi may inaasikaso pa po."
I looked up to check the time. Late na ha, working pa.
"Sige, magpadala na lang ako dyan ng pagkain. Kayo ba, gusto rin ng pagkain?"
"No na po, Ma'am. Nakakahiya po, kumain na po kami. Salamat po."
"Maraming salamat rin. Paalala ko lang na huwag sabihin kay Risa na tumawag ako ha."
"Will do po, Ma'am."
I thanked the staff again and started to look for a container I can put the food in. After I packed it neatly, I took a purple envelope from the drawer in my room and started to scribble down a letter for Risa. Perfect timing rin pala 'to kasi wala pa akong nabibigay sa kanya for today.
Dear Ana Theresia, I wrote. I cooked something for you tonight, I hope you find it delicious. Syempre masarap 'yan. Luto ko 'yan eh. Kaso what if she's hesitant to eat it kasi nga it came from someone she doesn't know? Hirap naman nito.
Don't worry walang gayuma 'yan haha! Ayan, dinaan ko na lang sa joke. 4 days before your birthday. Take care always :)
Again, I flipped the note and left a burgundy kiss mark there. Napansin na kaya niya 'yung sa unang note? A part of me wanted na oo para may clue na siya pero a part of me says 'wag muna para masulit ko pa 'yung mga natitirang araw.
I put the Tupperware and the envelope in a paper bag and told the driver na we should go to Risa's office.
When we arrived, I called up her office again. "Good evening ulit, nasa labas na ako. Pwedeng makisuyo, paki-kuha 'tong paper bag ng food tapos pakibigay kay Sen. Risa."
"Hello po, President. Sure po, magpadala po ako ng tao dyan."
One of Risa's staff arrived and took the paper bag. I instructed him not to tell Risa na galing 'yun sa akin. Hindi muna ako bumaba kasi biglang tumawag si Aika sa'kin asking about work- related things. A few minutes later, nagpaalam ako sa driver na papasok muna ako sa loob.
Risa's staff welcomed me. Inutusan no'ng receptionist na staff si Kate na i-escort ako inside Risa's main office. Ah, Kate pala ang pangalan nitong batang kabulungan ni Risa when we were in the convention.
"She'll be happy to see you po, President Robredo."
"Paano mo naman nasabi?"
"Super busy po niya tonight eh. Parang ayaw pa po magpahinga. Buti nga po dumating kayo baka sakaling tigilan niya na muna 'yung work ngayong gabi."
"Hay nako, ang stubborn talaga ni Risa."
She agreed and knocked on the door leading to where Risa is. Pwede na 'to tawaging doorway to heaven.
"Ma'am Risa! Mukhang Jollibee ang gabi mo dahil may bisita ka po." Anong mukhang Jollibee pinagsasabi nito?
I overheard Risa's voice answer her and I couldn't help but smile. I missed her voice.
Kate stepped aside and I see Risa, sitting behind her desk, at nabulunan pa pagkakita sa'kin. It's a good thing rin pala na I took a bottle of water sa palace bago kami umalis at hindi ko pa iniinuman.
"Kalma, Senator. Ako lang 'to." I went inside and handed her the bottle, and leaned in to kiss her cheek. Hindi lang beso, kiss talaga. Kilig hihi.
We were standing there and just staring at each other when Kate said, "Ma'am Leni, mawalang galang na po pero kasama niyo po ba si Bryce?"
I asked kung si Bryce na staff ko ang tinutukoy niya. Wala naman akong ibang Bryce na kilala pero malay ko ba kung sino. When she nodded, I told her na pinauwi ko na si Bryce since late na.
"Ay sayang naman po...sana all kasama ang crush tonight."
Oh ilag ka muna, Leni, baka matamaan ka. Out of the corner of my eye, nakita ko na kinakain na pala ni Risa 'yung niluto ko. I can't help but smile pero subtle lang baka mahalata eh.
I heard the door close. Pinalabas na pala ni Risa si Kate so we're alone now. Umupo na si Risa sa upuan niya kaya I carried the chair on the front of her desk and placed it beside her. "Anong meron kay Bryce?" I asked.
Hindi niya pinansin 'yung tanong ko and instead, tinanong niya kung bakit nilipat ko 'yung upuan.
"Gusto lang kitang katabi." Wala nang preno-preno. Banat na agad.
Tinignan ko siya and nakita kong namumula na 'yung pisngi niya. Umupo na ako, still not tearing my eyes away from her. Ang ganda talaga niya. Kaso biglang umiwas ng tingin kaya I changed the topic, asking about Bryce again.
She explained na may crush daw si Kate kay Bryce and we laughed. How cute is that coincidence? May gusto ako kay Risa tapos 'yung staff naman niya, may gusto sa staff ko. Ang galing lang.
In the middle of our conversation, Risa suddenly asked, "Hala sorry, this is so rude of me. Have you eaten na?"
Tinawanan ko siya kasi she was still chewing while talking kaya mukha siyang chubby bunny.
She stood up and was about to leave the room when I caught her wrist and pulled her close to me. Too close. Nakakapaso kasi sobrang lapit niya sa'kin, our noses almost touching and our bodies mere centimeters away from crashing into each other.
My eyes zeroed in on her plump lips. "Kumain na ako," I whispered. Her tongue darted out her mouth to lick her lips instinctively and my grip on her wrist tightened in an instant. This is too close. Hindi ko kaya 'to.
"B-buti naman kumain ka na," she replied.
I had to scream at myself in my head repeatedly to drift away from the thought of kissing her right then and there. Forcing myself to look away, I released her wrist, cleared my throat and sat back down. "Parehas pa nga tayo ng ulam eh."
Umupo na siya ulit and drank water, then she explained na may nagpadala nga no'ng food sa kanya. Syempre as to not give myself away, I had to pretend to be shocked and curious. I eyed the food on her desk and asked, "May manliligaw ka?"
"Secret admirer lang siguro."
"Hmm, okay. Wala talagang nakalagay kung sino siya?"
"Wala talaga eh, whoever it was left a note pero ayun lang. No names or signatures or anything."
I almost sighed in relief out loud. Hindi pa pala niya nakikita 'yung kiss mark sa likod. My plan is going well for now.
Nag-usap lang kami ni Risa while I was there, reminding me of the time we were in the campaign trail both in 2016 and in 2022. Things really don't change much between us. She'd bring up the topic of her 'secret admirer' and I felt like anytime mabubuking ako kaya I often shot the topic down.
Lesson learned from the other party's campaign strategy back then: Less talk, less mistake. Kaya hindi sila umaattend ng debate eh.
On the ride back to Malacanang, I remembered the heat that radiated off Risa's body when we stood that close to each other. Hindi siya mainit literally. Rather, to me, Risa's like the sun.
Like the sun, she's beautiful as always but also something I'm so scared to go near to in fear that I'm not strong enough to absorb its light. Nakakatakot, hindi dahil baka mapaso ako, pero dahil baka may magawa akong mali that would ruin the masterpiece that she is.
And then there's her lips that looked so, so inviting.
I'm at Risa's mercy now. And it's driving me so much crazier than it's ever done before.