Finn
*
I was an impulsive asshole. I was sure Parker thought the same, with him sat at the passenger seat, wordless as Miller drove us to the hotel. He didn't need to say it- my actions were loud enough. Sometimes I let my emotions rule over me, giving room for the consuming feeling to take over while I proceeded to ride the high.
I sunk deep into the back seat and rubbed my temple. I needed a drink badly. There was a feeling thrumming through my veins, making my heart beat faster than I would deem comfortable. Was I nervous, or was this just an aftermath of the impulsiveness? I didn't know. I should really call Elliot and let him know I was in New York, on my way to his wedding ceremony. But then she would know I was on my way, and who knew what would happen after.
Why the fuck am I even here? Why am I doing this to myself?
"We're here, sir." Parker's voice snapped me out of my head. I sat up, noting that the car was parked up front.
"Right," I rasped and ran my hand through my hair. I caught him staring at me through the overhead mirror before he got out of the car and pried my door open. "Thank you," I gave a curt nod and walked in. I zeroed in on a friendly looking receptionist as I moved closer to the front desk.
Her eyebrows shot up with a bright smile. "Hi, how may I help you?"
"Uh... I'm here for a wedding. Elliot Larsen and Natalie Castillo. I don't know what floor it is."
"Yes, go right up to the forty-eight floor, by your right."
I nodded. "Thank you."
Parker and I got into the elevator where I caught my reflection on the shiny surface. The unwavering green eyes of a tired man stared back at me, empty of feeling and light. Everything else was in order- my hair, styled to perfection and my suited outfit tailor made to fit me like a glove. But no money or effort could fix what I wanted hidden the most. I cut my eyes away and threw my head back.
"You don't have to worry, you look great," Parker mused from my side. There was faint humor in his voice, like he could read the thoughts in my head. I turned to him. He had a little smirk on his lips. I scoffed.
"It's a good thing one of us thinks that." I remarked cynically, but deep down, I felt a little relieved he thought so. It was taking all of it in me not to go back down and have my ass on a flight to another continent entirely. I had gone this far already, it would be a shame to chicken out now.
The elevator doors parted open to the forty-eight floor and the sound of music. I followed it, taking note of all the security men making rounds around the perimeter. It was a glimpse of what my life had been before the accident, before everything went south. I peeled my eyes off the sight of them and focused on the entrance of the balcony.
The sun had began to set, and it's warm light shone in like a beacon. I stopped at the entrance, stepping aside as a woman weaved her way past me. Something in my chest ached when I saw Elliot and Natalie dancing hand in hand on the dancefloor, with all the guests seated. My hands ached to reach for my phone and take a video of them in a desperate attempt to capture the happiness and contentment on their faces- feelings I might never come to experience myself.
Natalie's eyes moved from Elliot's and wandered to mine. They went wide as she froze and stopped dancing. Elliot turned around and his surprise robbed me of my will to move. All they did was stand there, and slowly, even the attention of those sat began to zero in on me. Low murmurs erupted. At least the music kept going; it was already awkward enough.
"Oh my God," Natalie breathed, like she couldn't believe I was really here, and made her approach to me. Giving me little time to process our encounter, she pulled me into a hug. I stood, a little stunned by the contact with her hands around me and the corner of the bow on her hair poking the base of my jaw. "Finn."
When she pulled back, her eyes were filled with tears unshed. Fuck. Is she going to cry? Two years was a lot of time, after all. Too much time for friends.
"Natalie," I started. "Please don't cry. I'm already in trouble for coming unannounced, if you ruin your makeup I'm pretty sure your husband is going to kill me for that too."
She let out a sound between annoyance and glee before she hugged me again. I held her in my arms, feeling the eyes of everyone on us still. She must be watching us too. I lifted my head to search the crowd for her but Elliot filled my view when he joined us.
"Finn Elijah Harris. You fucking son of a bitch. I really want to hit you right now, but I'll save it for later."
"Elliot," I held out my hand.
He stared at it like an extraterrestrial appendage. "Oh, fuck you. Come here," he held my hand and wrapped his arms around me in a firm hug. "What made you change your mind?" He asked in my ear.
"I don't know." I lied.
"Well, whatever it is, thank goodness." His gaze slid to Parker who silently watched our exchange. "Hello Parker, it's nice to see you again. It's been months since our last contact."
Parker nodded as he took Elliot's hand in a shake. "Indeed it has. Congratulations."
While they chatted, I took the opportunity to search the crowd. Most of the guests had returned back to their own company, conversing and sipping on their drinks. The sound of glass drew me to a table. A woman had just knocked a drink down and had waiters stumbling over themselves to clean the mess up. When the dark haired woman rose her head up and met my eyes, I went still and felt everything around me fade away into nothingness.
She'd done something with her hair- it didn't fall down her shoulders in long waves like it used to. It was shorter, barely skimming past her shoulders. She looked a little thinner than she used to be, but breathtaking in the dress she wore, so much that it hurt to look at her. Her eyes widened at our eye contact, the top of her cheeks burning up like I'd never seen them do before and she looked away quickly, like shards of broken glass and wine stained tablecloth were much more preferable to stare at.
A man sat by her side moved close- a little too close- to her and said something that made her smile. I felt heat burn every nerve in my body.
"Let's find you guys a nice place to sit," Natalie said, beckoning over some men in uniform. "If I had known you were coming I'd have had made arrangements."
"Don't worry about me," I said, eyeing an empty spot at her table. Natalie followed my line of sight and gasped.
"Oh my God, Amanda! She didn't know you were coming! And I specifically told her you weren't. No, this is bad."
I whipped my head at Natalie, trying my best to regain my composure that was already out the window the moment I stepped in here and caught sight of her. "You told her what?"
Parker was busy staring at Amanda, his eyebrows pinched into a slight furrow. What the fuck was running through his head right now?
"That you weren't coming," Natalie grinded out through clenched teeth. "You two shouldn't be in the same room like this. It's awful."
"Awful?" I could feel my patience running thin. "I'm going to have a seat, Natalie."
"Not. There."
Elliot sighed in resignation. Unlike Natalie, he didn't bother to put up a fight. "It seems you have forgotten who Finn is. He is a stubborn and arrogant prick who does whatever her wishes."
"Please," Natalie pleaded, hands on my arm.
I thought of honoring her wish on her special day, but when I looked over to her table and saw her in conversation with the other man, her face going red for him, I lost every drop of control in me.
I gave her a quick kiss on her forehead. "I'm really sorry, Natalie."
In determined strides, I made my way over to their table and pulled out the seat that was conveniently situated opposite her. After I sat down, the man she'd been talking to turned to look at me. She didn't.
"Finn Harris. It's been a while," he mused.
I gave him a long look. It took me a little while, but it finally hit me. And now I was even angrier.
Faking a smile was the hardest thing. All I wanted to do was stare at her, but all she did was stare at him while he did me. "Dominic Hayes. Who would have thought. The last time you were at a wedding, you were caught getting it on with the bride. I thought you swore off weddings after that." My smile widened.
Amanda looked suprised. "What?"
Dominic grinned. "Elliot is worth a lot more than personal resolutions, no? I had to make an exception. But I'm amazed, I didn't think his best friend was going to make it."
"I had issues to attend to."
"Issues?" He rose his brow in a patronizing manner. "Come on, we're no strangers, you can be honest with me. Elliot is handling all of your business. What more is there to attend to?"
My hands itched to wrap around his neck like they'd done many times before, but we were interrupted by Elliot's father who got up to make a toast. I completely ignored him, choosing to fix my focus on Amanda instead, who refused to make eye contact with me. That didn't stop me from staring. With the close proximity, I could make out the faint blue of her grey eyes. While she and everybody else listened to Mr Larsen speak, I was going over every detail of her- delicate features and slender shoulders- until something stopped me in my tracks. Looped around her neck was a pendant, one too familiar to forget. I remembered the day I got it for her in Paris and the promise I made her make to keep in on. Had she not taken it off all this while? How could she leave me, cut ties and still manage to wear it around?
"That's a nice necklace you have there," I said.
Her eyes cut to me and my body became hyper aware. Her eyes, they were looking at me, but barely. She had a mask on, and I couldn't see past what she wanted me to see: a blank projection. Her hand moved up to touch it.
Dominic turned to her. "I agree. It's a perfect match with your skin. Where did you get it?"
Shut the fuck up, motherfucker, I wanted to say to him, but Amanda was making eye contact with me, and heavens forbid I ruined it.
"It was a gift," she stated.
"That is one precious gift. They look like diamonds- are they?" I asked, playing dumb. I could still recall the exact clarity and cut of the gems, just like I could picture the day I got it like it was yesterday. It had been a busy day. I'd taken her to a spa, then got the necklace for her after. We went for a private tour of the Louvre museum later that evening and a boat ride after. When we returned back to the hotel, we fucked so loud the other hotel guests must have had trouble sleeping that night.
"They are," she said, averting her eyes. Was she replaying the memories too?
"Really?" Came Dominic. "That is one expensive gift."
She hummed in reply and rose up her empty glass to a waiter, signaling for more wine. I watched, with mild concern nudging at my insides, as her glass was filled up. It appeared she still harbored old habits, particularly going overboard with alcohol when her limits were being stretched. And those situations hardly ever ended well. I wanted to grab the drink from her and have them bring her a mocktail instead, but it wasn't my place anymore.
Dominic talked to her in low tones, not audible enough for me to eavesdrop on, and she paid all her attention to him, like I wasn't even here. I formed a fist underneath the table. Natalie was making rounds to each table, chatting and laughing with the guests while Elliot was engaged with his mother. I searched for Parker and spotted him three tables away from mine. My eyes met his, and he proceeded to give a little wave in my direction.
"So Harris," Dominic's voice brought me back to our table. "How long do you intend on staying in New York, if it isn't just for the wedding, of course."
I glanced at Amanda whose attention was on the potato salad served just moments ago. I could tell she was listening, waiting to hear what I was going to say. I looked down at my plate with the same dish and spun it around.
"It's for the wedding, all right. I'm leaving tomorrow morning," I said. Maybe it was my imagination, but her eyebrows slightly furrowed. She collected herself quickly though, and shoved a bite into her mouth.
"Shame," his voice was flat.
"Shame indeed," I said, staring at her, waiting for a reaction. Dominic must've noticed my eyes on her all evening, but he made no comment. It made me question what thoughts were running through his head. He was a cunning man, adept at reading in between lines.
Suddenly, she frowned deeply. I forked up a large chunk of salad to take a bite off when she reached out to me.
"Don't eat that!"
Everyone at the table froze in confusion. My hand hovered in mid-air, and I set the fork back down. I don't know what it was, but something in me grabbed on to her command eagerly, like a golden retriever.
"Do we have a problem?" A server asked over her shoulder.
"Is there horse radish in this salad?"
"Horse radish? What's that got to do with anything?" One middle aged lady sat at the table asked. Now that she'd mentioned it, I could perceive the spicy heat of the meal. My fight or flight instinct kicked in and I pushed the plate away from me.
The server nodded. "Yes, there is."
Amanda looked at me, at my sudden reaction and for a moment, her features softened. "He can't eat it. He's terribly allergic to it."
"Oh no," the server reached for the plate and snatched it up. "My apologies. What would you like instead?"
I ignored Dominic's calculating eyes on me and focused on her, stunned by the fact that she remembered my damn allergies, and furious that she had to make things so fucking difficult.
I needed her to show me how irredeemable she was, how despicable and callous one human being could be, because how the fuck was I supposed to hate her when she did things like this? Things that made my heart ache from pain and longing and regret and want?
*
a/n: *sigh* idk bro.
there were a lot of nice comments in the last chapter. they got me hyped to get this part out faster. i actually feel excited :)
also, if you're wondering, reference to Finn's allergies was made in chapter 40 (evade) of Free Falling.
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