The pictures reeling through my head were paralyzing and it was all I could do to even say my name correctly at the gate when granted access to the private drive.
Looking at the dash, I noticed the time was nearing nine o'clock. Parked out front of the Warner Estate, I sat in my car waiting for my heart rate to slow down.
However, that didn't happen.
Instead, it kept kicking up faster every time I pictured having to face Kyle, having to look into those icy blues that seemed to be all knowing like a crystal ball or something.
He's a mind reader, remember?
I was so desperate for a kryptonite like power to protect my thoughts that I was almost tempted to go out and buy a roll of aluminum foil to shape into a helmet for my head.
Letting out a long breath, I squared up my shoulders and opened the car door, the interior light nearly scaring the crap out of me. Tonight, I didn't have homework and so I decided to leave my book bag in the car.
Closing the car door, I headed toward the front door and rang the doorbell to which I was greeted by a servant who recognized me, letting me in.
"Am I allowed to go to my room?" I asked in a hushed tone behind my hand to the overgrown penguin.
The man smiled and lifted a wing, I mean a hand, gesturing the direction to go.
"Thank you." I started to move toward the stairs but stopped and turned back to him. "Oh." He turned to look at me. "Can you please not let anyone know I'm here yet?" I asked crossing my arms back and forth over one another repeatedly.
His eyes narrowed.
"Yeah," I shook my head. "Guess not. Okay. Thanks," I said waving my hand.
He nodded and headed off to whatever corner he was hiding in.
Somehow, I managed to find my room without the breadcrumbs. However, I did have to rely on landmarks which were very helpful. Reaching the room, I was nearly out of breath when I tiptoed into the bedroom. Closing the door quietly, I turned only to jump back a little after catching sight of Kyle's form lying on my, or rather his sister's bed, the monitor lying on his chest.
His eyes were closed as if he was sleeping and his hands were laced with one another across his abdomen just above the waist of his jeans.
Lying there under the canopy like that, I was drawn toward an overwhelming desire to see if a kiss really would wake him or if the kiss itself would be... different?
My eyes widened as I watched the scene in my head from earlier at the arcade. But instead of Jake kissing me, it was Kyle and for some reason, my heart kicked up an unnatural staccato hard against my chest that actually made me lightheaded. I could feel a flush of heat rising to my cheeks and wondered why this wasn't the feeling I had when Jake kissed me.
"How was your date?"
Kyle's deep voice caused me to jerk unexpectedly causing me to yelp into the room.
"God, do you always scare the crap out of people like that or just me?" I asked as I blinked a half dozen times, my hand going over my chest as if it had some healing powers that would automatically calm it down.
Yeah, that didn't work.
Like an idiot, I made the mistake of glancing over at the lumber jack giant who was rising up from the bed looking like a smoldering prince right off a Disney movie screen. Non-G rated though. Immediately, my palms began to itch and I could feel my fingers flexing.
He stared at me intently causing me to quickly look away before I could get caught up in his hypnotic trance.
Remember. Mind reader. Mind reader.
Eyeing the bathroom entrance, I went to move toward it in hopes of finding a safe haven. But Kyle was off the bed and already trotting toward my path blocking me.
The warmth of his hand cupped around my bicep as his other hand cupped under my chin compelling me to look up at him. Those crystal pools hardened into ice as he scanned my features, his gaze lingering on my lips.
Swallowing hard, I jerked my chin out of his grasp before pushing at his chest and stepping backward causing him to let go. Feeling my eyes moving in rapid fire, I tried looking everywhere but up at him as an immense heat stabbed at my cheeks and permeated throughout my body bringing every cell to near boiling.
At any moment, I expected my body to spontaneously combust.
"Something happened, didn't it?" he asked in a hushed tone that was like a magnet to my vision. My eyes slowly pulled to his and I could see the wonder dancing, the questions swirling before him as he decide which ones to speak out.
My lips parted pulling his gaze to stare at them, his eyes caressing and inspecting as if his fingers were touching them.
Immediately, I rolled back my bottom lip catching it between my teeth.
The corners of his mouth tugged into a knowing smile as the soft lines next to his eyes creased. Like a feather caught in a gentle blowing breeze, his eyes drifted upward from my lips, across my nose and settled to lock with my eyes.
"He kissed you," he said barely a whisper while followed by a soft sigh.
His eyes held mine for what felt like a millennium causing me to shuffle uncomfortably in place. For some reason, I felt like I had done something wrong or that I possibly... cheated on him.
"Eighteen and your first kiss," he stated softly as I watched his neck muscles strain while trying to swallow. "Was it everything you hoped it would be?"
Blinking, I noticed the inside of my eyes stinging as my lips turned downward, my gaze shifting to his chest.
It wasn't anything like I had hoped for.
My jaw clenched tight as I fought back the tears that were threatening to expose me. I could feel my head rocking gently in hopes to ease the pain that was creeping up to steal my breath.
Kyle's hand cupped the side of my cheek. The tenderness in his gesture literally became my undoing. Sniffling, I clamped my jaw tighter to fight off harder the urge to cry.
His other hand came up cupping the other side of my cheek. The pads of his thumbs brushed just below the sensitive skin beneath my eyes as he tilted my head back. My eyelids flickered as dewiness spread across my eyelashes.
My breath caught in my throat at the distress that danced in and out of Kyle's irises. It was like a battle of good and evil raging against one another deep within those crystal pools. Every nerve in my body hummed in hopes that the winner would bring his lips closer to mine.
As my lips parted, I knew the moment his eyes trailed to look at them a winner had emerged and my heart leaped with fear and anticipation all in the same breath.
Kyle's head ever so slowly dipped as his eyes commanded my gaze to stay locked with his. The brush of his lips was so slight that I thought I had imagined it. His lids flickered as his eyes continued to probe mine for condemnation, as if any second he expected me to push away.
But I didn't want to push away. I wanted to move closer.
His breath hiccupped when I leaned in toward him. For a moment, his eyes widened and I thought he may pull away. But then he dipped again not yet releasing my gaze. The second brushing of his lips was warm and soft. My lids flickered closed as a moan escaped my throat, the unshed tears now streaming from the corners of my eyes to pool at the base of my ears and his fingers.
Kyle closed the gap between our bodies as his arm snaked around my waist pulling me against him. The palm of his hand slid behind my neck before an explosion went off in my nervous system as the fullness of his lips completely embraced mine.
The pressure from his mouth eased up a little only to return as he pulled my lips between his. For a second, I felt the tip of his tongue touch my lower lip causing my knees to buckle.
Somehow, our bodies had drifted over toward the bed, the height of the mattress giving my back support as his heavier frame pressed down against mine. Instinctively, my hands moved to the chorded muscles of his back, my fingers curling the material of his shirt into my fists as I pulled at him eagerly.
There was an awakening happening inside me and I found myself wanting more. I wanted to feel more. I wanted to be like Eve taking the first bite of the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge, finally unlocking the unknown to this.
His mouth slid across mine in a mild tease, the plumpness of his flesh tracing the fullness of my lips before he took my mouth again with a little more urgency. My feet flexed rising me up on my toes forcing the pressure of his kiss to deepen.
Both of his hands moved quickly to cup beneath my jaw again as he squeezed gently forcing me to hold still. Slowly, he pulled back causing my eyes to fly open as a protesting whimper escaped my lips.
The color of his eyes had darkened and the way they searched mine had me taking in a sharp breath. My tongue moved to taste the lingering essence of his mouth still on my lips as I silently begged him to continue. His eyes flickered with an emotion that had my blood racing through my veins. His face rocked gently to the side and back as if arguing with himself. Sweeping his eyes downward, his gaze lingered to watch his thumb swipe across the bottom of my lip, a torturous expression crossing his features as if he was fighting on whether or not to continue.
But I didn't want him to stop.
I moved my chin to rock upward urging his lips to come back. His eyes widened as he snapped his sapphire gaze back to mine. Refusing to give up, I snaked a hand upward over his chest causing his pectoral muscles to harden. The palm of my trembling hand brushed over his neck as my fingertips raked firmly against his scalp pushing his head to dip closer to mine.
His eyes were shooting back and forth so quickly, it looked as if he were panicking while searching for a life preserver... as if he were drowning. His chest expanded and contracted rapidly as he labored to catch a breath. The lids of his eyes quivered in one last fighting attempt to warn me off.
The fingers of my hand curled in answer around his hair and in a blink, his mouth came down hard against mine causing me to moan with victory.
His head dipped and rocked as his lips continued to explore mine with urgency, his tongue gently probing my lips apart until finally, he broke through. His tongue collided with mine causing an explosion to go off in my ears.
Oh God, the taste of him was unlike anything I had ever had before and all of a sudden, I found myself pressing in harder. Delving deeper and deeper into his mouth as I wanted more... as if I had never known the meaning of hunger until taking the first bite of him.
He shifted my head with his hands so that he could get closer. To press further. I matched him move for move and it was like our mouths were dancing to their own rhythm.
A whimper escaped my throat as Kyle's lips suddenly pulled away, his breath pushing hard against my lips in a rapid fired session. My eyelids reluctantly shimmied open and blinked in surprise as his alarm filled eyes bore into mine. His hands were literally shaking as he still cradled my jaw. In fact, his whole body was shaking causing my eyes to go wide.
The muscles of his neck strained as he tried to swallow. His jaw was tense and his eyebrows danced over his hardened eyes as if trying to recover from what was happening.
My fingers uncurled from his hair as my palm moved downward to cup his neck. The pulse that was beating against my palm was only out defeated because of the speed of my own.
Kyle uncupped his hands from beneath my jaw and placed his palms on either side of me on the mattress as he pressed his weight back. The sudden loss of him made my eyebrows furrow in disappointment.
Why couldn't we just stay like this?
My eyes darted to his chest as I witnessed him bringing his breathing under control. Feeling my eyes moving back and forth, I tried to figure out why he stopped in the first place.
Did I do something wrong?
Was I a crappy kisser?
Unexpectedly, Kyle moved causing me to jerk my chin up. Only, he was moving toward the bedroom door.
"Kyl..." I tried to say, but my voice was so hoarse that the sound of his name came out as only a whisper.
Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes again and I could feel the warm liquid trails spilling across my cheeks as I stood there staring at the recently closed door with Kyle no longer in sight.
The sound of him entering his room came across the monitor pulling my attention to where the imprint of his body still lay on the bed. Somehow, I crawled onto the mattress and rolled over the body length divot, my cheek now resting against the pillow as I just stared at the curtain draped on the side of the window. Sniffling occasionally, my mind continued to battle with my heart which was completely at odds with the other.
Jake had always been the one for me. Always. He was the perfect match for me in every way. At least, that was what my mind kept telling me. So, why did Kyle cause my heart to bang hard against my chest in protest? He was wrong for me on every level. Wasn't he? And besides, I wasn't supposed to be his type... whatever his type was.
But the kiss...my fingertips moved to brush my still swollen lips. Tears pooled again and I couldn't stop them from spilling.
My God, the kiss was everything that Jake's should have been.