SUCROCORP OFFICE
Dick Roman is pouring drinks, Crowley sits down.
"How do you take it?" Dick Asks
"Alcoholic. Shall we get on with this, then." Crowley Says
"Just extending the hand of hospitality." Dick Says
"To a mutation like me? Tired of swimming in hot garbage, are we?" Crowley Says
"That was a little colorful, huh? Well... didn't mean to" He hands Crowley a glass "offend." Dick Says
"Of course you did. So, if you're suddenly calling, I guess you're up to speed on the Winchesters, which means you intercepted the Prophet. And the Prophet told you that my blood is the key to everything." He drains his drink. "You know what I like about you?" Crowley Says
"Lack of pretension?" Dick Says
"You're smarter than you look." Crowley Says
"Oh, well, now you're just flirting." Dick Says As he gets up to pour more drinks.
"Not easy... to kill me, but doable. Especially for you lot. You kill angels. You can certainly wipe a demon off the board. And yet, here we are, negotiating like proper psychopaths." Crowley Says
"Well, I assume you have a vial of your blood stashed somewhere, and in the event of your death, it goes directly to Sam, Elena and Dean." Dick hands Crowley another drink.
"See? Smart assumption." Crowley Says
"One can't live on looks alone. Here's my offer." Dick Says
"All ears." Crowley Says
"Full immunity for you and your constituency. I'm talking free-range grazing for all demonkind. I'm willing to cordon off, say, Canada. You and your crew can work your little deals, have your way with the locals." Dick Says
"All of Canada?" Crowley Says
"Have it." Dick Says
"Fair. And down here?" Crowley Asks
"America's ours. Your sales team stays out – period. That's not up for negotiation. We need America. They're so fat." Dick Says
"And in exchange?" Crowley Asks
Dick takes a vial out of his jacket pocket. "The blood of one sadly unimpressive demon in New Jersey. All I ask is that you give it to Frick and Frack, tell them it's yours, stand back, and let them come to me." He gives the vial to Crowley
"I can't deny I long to see those two digested once and for all... And Bambi well you guys can give her to me, It gets a little lonely down there in Hell." Crowley Says
"Deal?" Dick Says
"You have a deal. I suppose you want it in writing?" Crowley Says
"I don't kiss on the mouth." Dick Says
"Your loss. I just so happen to have a standard rider... "he takes a scroll out of his jacket "right here." Crowley Says
He unfurls the scroll, which is very long. Dick Roman grows a smile as Crowley holds up a magnifying glass.
"I do so like this part. Don't you?" Crowley Says
__________________________________
CAR
Dean's driving as Sam is in the passenger seat, Corinna and Elena are in the backseat.
"All right. Exit's in 3 miles." Sam Says
"I still say this is a bad idea." Dean Says
"Dean, it was your idea, and it was the best one either of us had." Sam Says
"I said it as a joke." Dean Says
"It was a bad joke – good idea." Corinna Says
"Yeah, only because we got no magic spell, no book – nothing on how to find a freakin' righteous bone." Dean Says
"We can call Castiel again." Elena Says
"Dude, on my car, he showed up naked... covered in bees." Dean Says
"Yeah, I'm not really sorry I missed that." Sam Says
As Dean turns on the radio.
"...The price of stock hit an all-time high following Roman's acquisition of Sucrocorp. I say Roman's a buy."
"Got to disagree with you there. I'm gonna call him a "wait and watch."
"Come on, Lawshe. You're killing me."
"Hear me out. This is a new sector for Roman."
"That's right. He's holed up at Sucrocorp headquarters right now."
"So sit tight. This –"
Dean switches off the radio. "Holed up at Sucrocorp, huh?"
Dean, Sam, Elena and Corinna all look at each other.
Meanwhile The Maid that's being possessed by Bobby is walking along a street. Televisions in a store window are playing a Dick Roman's interview.
Bobby's reflection in the window.
SUCROCORP OFFICE
There is the large devil's trap in the light fixture above Crowley as he is reading from his scroll, Dick Roman sits behind him drinking some whiskey.
"Should the party of the first part..." The close-up of the scroll. It appears to be written in Latin and mentions Sam and Dean Winchester.
"...fail to inform the party of the second part of his intent..." Crowley Say
"Pause right there. Correct me – that should be "party of the second part vis-a-vis party of the first part," 'cause we just amended clause" Crowley mouths the words along with him "314-sub-a. That's right. You should do this professionally." Dick Says
"Splendid. So, "Should the party of the second part..." Crowley Says
CRYPT
"Well, I guess if we can't find a righteous bone in a friggin' nunnery crypt." Dean Says
"All right. Here – listen to this. Sister Mary Benedict, uh, taught the learning-impaired and died at age 23." Sam Says
"Eh, it's a little young. Find someone who's had time to cook." Dean Says
Sam is reading from a large book, Corinna and Elena take their flashlights out as well.
"Okay, well, there was, uh... here – Sister Mary Eunice. Uh, fed the poor, became Mother Superior at age 60." Sam Says
"Sounds political. Power corrupts." Dean Says
"Right. Um... listen to this – Sister Mary Constant, 83 years of quiet, humble nun-like goodness. What do you think?" Sam Says
"Wow. I want to be more righteous just reading this." Elena Says
"Exactly." Sam Says
"All right, well, I lay odds on her. Here we go."He walks over to a plaque bearing the name of Sister Mary Constant. "Well... let's bone this nun." Dean Says
They all look at Him, he waits for a response.
"Seriously." Corinna Says
"Sorry." Dean Says Then smashes the coffin with a mallet.
SUCROCORP OFFICE
"...in which case, the party of the second part forfeits all rights to Canada ad infinitum." I think we're done here." Crowley Says
"Susan!" Dick Says As Susan enters.
"Yes, sir." Susan Says
"Take this from Mr. Crowley, make triplicates, get pens and a notary. We're ready to sign this puppy." Dick Says
RUFUS'S CABIN
Dean tosses a lit match into a bowl, Flames rise and then die down. Dean, Elena, Sam and Corinna looks around.
"Is he trying to make a grand entrance or...?" Elena Says
"I don't know..." Sam Says
"Son of a bitch. He's standing us up." Dean Says
"Well, we summoned him. Doesn't he kind of have to-" Sam Says
"If Crowley wants to screw you, he'll screw you." Dean Says
"Or... he can't come 'cause something went wrong." Corinna Says
"Maybe." Dean Says
There is a knock at the door, Sam takes out his gun.
"Maybe it's good news." Dean Says
Sam looks through a hole in the door, then opens the door to let in Meg.
"You deal with him. I can't anymore." Meg Says
"You might want to be more specific." Elena Says
"I was laying low halfway across the world when emo boy pops up out of nowhere and zaps me right back here." Meg Says
"Why?" Dean Asks
"Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first." Meg Says
Dean walks out the cabin, "Vincent" by Don Maclean plays. He walks over to a vehicle parked in front of the cabin, Castiel is sitting in the driver's seat.
Dean leans in the open passenger window.
"Hey, there." Dean Says As Castiel raises a hand in greeting
He straightens up, closes his eyes, shakes his head and sighs before leaning in the passenger window again.
"So, Cas, what's, uh, what's, uh, what's the word?" Dean Asks
"Well, Dean, I've been thinking. Monkeys are so... clever, and they're sensible in that they leave the skins on the bananas that they eat. Is it really necessary to test cosmetics on them? I mean, how important is lipstick to you, Dean?" Castiel Says
"Not very. You want to come inside and, uh, tell us what's going on?" Dean Says
Castiel and Dean heads back inside the cabin with everyone else.
"Now, you understand I don't participate in aggressive activity." He picks up a bone and sniffs it.
"Mm. Sister Mary Constant. Good choice." Castiel Says
"Why'd you go to Meg, Cas?" Dean Asks
"When I left, I wanted to observe the flowers – and fruit. Flowers come first, obviously. But I heard nothing from them." Castiel Says
"You heard nothing from who?" Sam Asks
"The Garrison." Castiel Says
"What happened to the Garrison?" Elena Asks
"Well, finally, the silence was deafening, so I went to look... to the home of the Prophet. You know, Leviathan can kill angels. There's a reason why Father locked them in Purgatory. They're the Piranha that would eat the whole aquarium. They're gone. The entire Garrison – dead. If there's anyone left at all, they're in hiding." Castiel Says
"Um, I'm sorry. If the angels are dead, where's Kevin?" Dean Asks
"I could steal them from their cages, the monkeys. But where would I put them all?" Castiel Says
"Hey!" He claps his hands. "Focus. Is Kevin alive?" Dean Says
"I don't want to fight." Castiel Says
"No, I'm not –we're worried." Dean Says
"They took him. He's alive. I felt such responsibility, but it's in your hands now." Castiel Says
"Wait. Hold on a freakin' minute." Dean Says
"I feel much better." Castiel Says
"Guys, what's all that?" Meg Asks As she looks at Their's spell paraphernalia.
"We called Crowley." Sam Says
"You what?" Meg Says
"Don't worry. He never showed." Corinna Says
"What do you mean never –" Meg Says
"Do you see him anywhere? He stood us up." Dean Says
"Well, I'm sorry about that, but I'm outie. He could still sh–" Meg Says
"Show up at any time. Hello, boys. Sorry I'm late. This is an embarrassment of riches." Crowley Says
_________________________________
RUFUS'S CABIN
"Stay, won't you. There's really nowhere to run." Crowley Says
Meg runs for the door, but Crowley appears in front of her, blocking her exit.
"Don't even think of smoking out, pussycat. I've got eyes all over the place." Crowley Says
"Leave her be." Castiel Says
"Castiel. When last we spoke, you – well, enslaved me. I'm confused. Why aren't you dead?" Crowley Asks
"I... don't know." Castiel Says
"Well, do you want to be? 'Cause I can help with that." Crowley Says
"All right, enough." Dean Says
"It's enough when I say. I came here to help you. I find out you've been lying to me, harboring an angel, and not just any angel – the one angel I most want to crush between my teeth." Crowley Says
"Oh, so you can crush angels now, huh?" Meg Says
"You bore me. You know that? You have no sense of poetry...Now, what do you have to say for yourself?" Crowley Says
"Well, I'm still, uh, honing my communication strategy. I haven't even been back to Heaven. I-I keep thinking there are no insects up there, but here we have... " Dean exchanges a look with Crowley "Trillions. You know, they're making honey and silk and... miracles, really." Castiel Says
"What are you talking about?" Crowley Asks
"Um, preferring insects to angels, I guess. Here. I can offer a token, if you like." He holds up a plastic bag containing a yellow substance. "It's honey. I-I collected it myself." Castiel Says
Elena rubs her forehead, They all exchange another look confused.
"You're off your rocker. He's off his rocker – is that it? Karma's a bitch, isn't it?" Crowley Says Then helps himself to a glass of whiskey on the table.
"Look, did you come here to, uh, donkey-punch" Crowley sniffs the whiskey and puts the glass back down "Your old grudges or to help us end Dick? Pick a battle." Elena Says
"Well, I'm vexed. I'd like to do both. But where's the fun in clobbering a ball of wet fur? Text me when Sparkles here retrieves his marbles, I suppose. Meanwhile... "He takes a vial of blood out of his jacket pocket "A prezzie." Crowley Says
"Really? Just boxed-up and ready to go" Sam Says
"I'm a model of efficiency." Crowley Says
"Is that right? Then why were you late?" Corinna Askz
"Dick had me in a devil trap. He's not an idiot. He knows what you four are after." Crowley Says
"So what did he offer you?" Sam Asks
"A fair deal. In exchange for giving you the wrong blood. It's demon, but is it mine?..It's my blood. Real deal." Crowley Says
"And why should we trust you?" Dean Says
"Good God, don't. Never trust anyone. A lesson I learned from my last business partner." Crowley looks at Castiel
"All right. Give us the blood." Dean Says
"Certainly. Oh, bonus. Meg, I'm gonna scoop you up, take you home, and roast you till you're jerky."
Castiel starts to move towards him. "But not... yet. Cas can have you for now. Hilariously, it seems he'd be upset at losing you and they need Cas to get Dick. Don't they, Cas?" Crowley Says
"Oh, I – I don't fight anymore." Castiel Says
"Come on. Given the particulars of your enemy, sadly, you're vital." Crowley Says Then tosses the vial of blood to Sam
Meanwhile The Maid is walking down the street carrying a newspaper with an article about Dick Roman. She tries to open the passenger door of a pick-up, Bobby's reflection is in the window. The Maid reaches for a mallet in the back of the pick-up. There is a sizzling noise, She flies backwards with a yell and Bobby emerges.
"Son of a bitch! Pure iron. Damn it." He looks at the Maid "All right. My mistake. Let's go." Bobby Says
"No! You stay away from me. Will you please let me go home?" She Says
Bobby looks at the newspaper on the ground, The headline reads "Dick Roman nominated for Man of Year."
"I need you." Bobby Says
"No." She Says
The Maid turns to run away, but Bobby engulfs her and possesses her again.