"Wait maybe I'm missing something then, so they got something goin' on?" August asked, referring to Quan and Nyjel who had just left the room
I backed up from him and walked over to the glass to watch the crowd below us.
"nah, I think Nyjel feelin' him though, the nigga probably couldn't be more obvious," I responded
"isn't Quan straight though?" He questioned as he made his way over beside me.
"as far as I know yea, but he letting Nygel get away with a lot of sus shit so who knows," I shrugged, " I'm not gonna over think it, ain't even gonna question it. If it gets his mind over that abusive bitch then I'm wit' it." I replied back honestly.
"wow that's really cute, quan deserves that. Whether they just end up as friends or something more." Aug smiled.
"no doubt." I nodded, "I gotta get back out theh' and show my face tho' baby." I then told him, looking down at him.
"You can stay in here if you want, I can tell security not to let anyone bother you." I added, wanting to be sure he was completely comfortable.
"It's okay, I should go out there too to see if they need an extra photographer or something." he sighed.
"bet, c'mon," I spoke, reaching out my hand for him to grab.
He returned the gesture, and we went outside to the club area.
Before I could even speak I was immediately pulled away by the Marvin guy from earlier.
I yanked from his grip and spoke, "ay bro you ain't gotta be grabbin' on me like that, if I wasn't high right now you might've got rocked in yo' shit."
His eyes grew wide and his expression soured after my words, "s-sorry sir, I just wanted to get you over to the Dj area as quick as possible, they want you to announce that you have a video coming out for Hood Favorite." He explained
"wait I'm doing what?" I questioned, this was all news to me, they ain't say shit about this at the meeting the other day.
"The board of directors from the label just decided it would be a good idea," He explained nervously, "The single is doing really well and is really gaining traction, making a video is just gonna amplify that."
What he was saying makes sense, but damn, it just came out of nowhere, and nobody asked me shit.
"and you," He started, directing his attention to august. " I spoke to one of the lead photographers here to see if she needed help with anything, unfortunately, she said no."
With that, I instantly felt some sadness come over me. Aug was way too good at this photography shit just for it to not go anywhere.
I looked over to see if Aug looked affected, I'll admit that he was doing a good job at hiding it, well for everyone that wasn't me.
I knew him like the back of my hand, I don't care how good he was hiding it, I knew whatever emotion he was feeling at the moment.
When you're in love, shit like that just happens, Ion know.
Ight enough, I sound like a simp ass nigga.
"but," Marvin spoke up again, "I showed her a picture of you and she still wanted to see you, I'm not sure what for but it still may be a good opportunity."
Aug immediately looked over at me to see what I thought so I spoke, "go for it baby, and at the end of the day, whatever happens, you can't say you ain't try."
He stood still for a couple of seconds, probably trying to sike himself up while also digesting advice.
"Okay, where is she?" He asked.
Marvin paused for a moment and looked around before tapping on one of the nearby security guards.
When he had the man's attention he spoke up, "take this young man to see Ms.Mikaelson, she'll be expecting him."
The security guard nodded and looked over at August, "follow me sir."
After that, the two went walking off in the opposite direction while Marvin began speaking to me again, " Okay Mr.Carter, I don't want to aggravate you but we really need to start heading toward the stage."
"yo, what the fuck am I even supposed to say, yall just got me doing some announcement that I have no clue about."I ranted.
Marvin nodded nervously as if to say he understood my grievances, "I completely understand that sir, but as I explained this is all for your benefit."
I ran my hands down my face and sighed, that familiar pit in my gut returned, accompanied by that usual burning in my chest.
"look, okay, just tell me what I need to say," I spoke, overwhelmed with everything.
"nothing much, just go up on stage, demand attention—which you'll no doubt already have, all eyes have been on you and Nyjel tonight." He informed me.
"Once everyone's listening, just say that because the crowd has been so good tonight, you felt the need to announce the video for hood favorite, which was supposed to be a surprise drop."
"so basically lie." I said flatly.
"we've all done it before." He joked, chuckling nervously.
When I didn't crack a smile he cleared his throat and returned to a serious demeanor, "with all due respect sir, this industry is a all about lying, you're trying to sell them something, you want people to like you, make them feel special." He said honestly.
"You can have 100 fans in one room and it's your job to make each of them feel like they are your favorite." He followed up.
I didn't nod, I definitely heard him, but it still ain't feel right, even if it was right.
"Ight, gimme like a minute to go piss, imma be quick." I told him.
Of course he looked apprehensive, but wouldn't dare argue so he simply nodded.
Like I said I would, I went to the bathroom. I used it, washed my hands, and looked up at myself in the mirror.
"this what you wanted nigga, man up." I mumbled to myself.
Yeah but damn, this is a lil bit different than what I expected.
"all you gotta do is go on stage and announce the video Jay, fuck is the problem," I mumbled again.
Honestly, I really ain't know what my issue was, like he said, we had all lied before, and I ain't know these people personally, lying shouldn't be an issue.
Actually, though the more I thought about it lying wasn't the issue, it was more of how all this was happening.
I get a call while Im with my family telling me to go to this party, I go, then I'm being told that I and Nyjel are some special guest, then I'm being told to announce a video for my song that nobody even thought to talk to me about.
OG assured me the contract was legit, and even if I did read it myself it ain't like my ass would understand any of it.
I just—man Ion even know, maybe I just gotta change to fit the industry around me.
Maybe the only problem here is me.
"rough night?" I heard someone speak.
I looked up to see an Asian man a couple of inches shorter than me. Whoever he was, he had to be important cause' I was in a separate bathroom from the general public.
"Nah I'm straight, just tired." I lied, gathering myself to exit.
I ain't know this nigga enough to be venting to him.
"that's exactly what I said when I was on the verge of a panic attack last year." He chuckled.
I creased my eyebrows in response which caused him to respond again.
"my bad bro didn't mean to pry, my names' Rin." he spoke.
"wassup," I said simply.
"I heard your song, it's good." He nodded.
" 'preciate it." I responded, with the same lack of enthusiasm I had before.
" you like a singer or sum, no disrespect but I ain't never heard of you but you back here so clearly you somebody." I asked
he laughed and then spoke, "I'm an idol."
Again I creased my eyebrows, nigga called himself an idol like he just the president or some shit.
I guess he could sense my confusion because he spoke up again, "you familiar with Korean pop?" he asked.
"oh, that shit." I mumbled.
"wait damn, my fault." I apologized, realizing how rude that could've came off.
"you're fine, I'm used to it," he waved off, "Most people have this image in their head of what they think the genre is, but I don't take it personally."
"well then if you don't mind me asking, watchu doin' at a party like this." I really won't tryna be ignorant or no shit, but this party was full of Rnb, and Drill artists, he stood out like a sore thumb.
"my label is trying to expand into the American market, they want to use me since they think I can grow in the RnB market," he explained.
"That's wassup." I nodded
" you seem like a real cool dude, and you kinda remind me of how I looked when I first started thats why I approached you," he explained.
"watchu mean?" I asked.
" I mean I know you denied it, but you are clearly stressed man, like it's written all over your face." He chuckled.
I gave him a flat look before shaking my head, "it's all just new to me, it'll go away."
"it will, I can attest to that, but sometimes a little help goes a long way." He shrugged.
In response to the confused look I wore on my face, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pill bottle.
aw hell.
"you pop percs?" I questioned.
"they help me relax, and in this industry relaxing is a luxury."
I watched as he then unscrewed the lid and pour two into his hand. Id seen percs before, I'd been around them, but I always tried to stray away from them just cause I felt like that was a lil too far for even me. I mean lean was already pushing it, but a perc was right next to crack for me.
He held out his hand as if to offer me one but I immediately shook my head, " I'm good, ion do percs." I told him.
"you sure, they take the edge off, and it'll get you through the night at least."
I nodded and watched as he shrug and popped one for himself.
This conversation took a turn for me and just as I was about to head out, my phone vibrated in my pocket.
It was an unknown number, but I realized who it was after reading the message.
Genius wants you on their show to film tomorrow morning, label thinks it's a great Idea. -Marvin.
can I fucking breathe dog what the fuck, I've barely been back home for two days.
"man matter fact lemme hold one of them shits," I spoke aloud, knowing he'd get the gist.
right now, I needed something, anything, all of this was gonna make me blow my damn head off.
Rin then walked over to me and poured the pill into my hand.
"don't overthink it, bro, trust me." he chuckled.
"nigga I just met you." I shot back.
and here I was about to take drugs from the man, this shit doesn't make sense.
Blunts won't working though, despite me smoking multiple tonight, shit still feels suffocating.
"If you think it's laced then I can tell you it's not." He laughed again, "I feel better already."
I shook my head and mumbled, "fuck it," before throwing the pill in my mouth and swallowing.
"good luck with what's got you so stressed out too by the way, I hope it gets better."
"yea." I responded dryly before quickly exiting the bathroom, both embarrassed and ashamed that I just let a stranger see me that vulnerable.
"Ms.Mikaelson." the security guard spoke, to whom I'm guessing was the woman I was supposed to meet here.
She was a very tall black woman, I call already tell, just by her presence and the way she carried herself, she was about her business, and any time wasted was time she wasn't about to give.
She held her head high, back straight, lips puckered into an assertive, confident manner. Her hair was tied neatly into a bun, her lipstick was a vibrate red color, and I swear she had the sharpest cheekbones I'd ever seen someone have.
She was intimidatingly beautiful, that's about the best way I could describe it.
"Ah yes," she spoke, walking over to me, "you must be this 'August' that wimp of a man told me about."
oh wow, poor Marvin.
"Yeah, I was just offering help if you all needed it, I've been looking to get more experience in the photography field."I explained.
"I don't." she nodded, speaking as blatantly as possible.
"oh..well I-"
"but I could use it for something else." she cut me off, looking me up and down.
"I know you have experience behind the camera, but have you ever tried stepping in front of it?" she asked.
"I'm not sure I understand ma'am."
"My lord," she sighed," the youth today are all short a few screws I swear."
Did this bitch just call me stupid?
"I mean modeling beloved, have you ever considered modeling?" she asked, her tone one of irritation.
"No not really, I mean it's not like I had the opportunity if I did I doubt I'd be talking to you right now." I shot back, responding faster than I intended so I didn't have time to consider the rudeness of my words.
There was a momentary pause, to which I expected to be turned around, to my surprise though the woman in front of me simply smiled.
"I like you." she chuckled.
The amusement only lasted a few seconds before the cold confidence she wore earlier returned, "very well, stand over there, we're gonna try some practice shots." she told me, pointing over to the space in front of the large camera
Before I knew it the security was removing my camera from around my neck and I was being all but pushed in front of a different one.
"Okay, now I want you to act as if you've just heard the dumbest thing in the world. Look completely dumfounded but at the same time not at all, like you expected to hear this from this person"
"wait can we just slow dow-"
"honey please don't tell me I was wrong about you." she sighed.
'I have zero experience modeling and you're just shouting directions at me as if I'm supposed to know what to do." I complained.
"this is nothing more than a practice shoot August, stop thinking so hard and just listen to what I'm telling you."
I suppressed the urge to continue arguing and settled for simply taking her advice.
"you're dating that new rapper right, what was his name again Jay something?" she asked as I began to try and pose again.
"yeah, Jayce." I confirmed
"okay, well we all know how rappers can be, just pretend he's just said something to you that really tried your patience, but again you're not surprised."
Ok, easy enough right, I mean we all know how much Jayce and I have tried each other, so this shouldn't be that hard I guess.
Finally, I put Ms.Mikaelsons advice to work, Honestly at first of course I felt a little awkward, but after a while it didn't feel that bad. In my opinion there wasn't that much of a difference from being behind the camera than there was being in front of it.
"magnificent darling, it seems I wasn't wrong about you after all." she spoke, snapping away with the camera.
"Then again I'm never wrong." She giggled to herself.
"was that a compliment?" I questioned genuinely.
"Its as close as you'll get to one." She replied quickly, "alright that should be enough."
Finally I could stop posing and my camera was handed back to me.
"come take a look." she told me, waving me over.
I did as she said and stood in awe as I looked at myself.
"Damn.." I mumbled, it actually all looked so professional. It was objectively better than anything I could've done myself.
"yes I am amazing aren't I." She said proudly.
"Nevertheless, I will admit you have a very special aura that I feel will make you a great model, I knew it when I saw your face. I will be in touch." She nodded.
"Wait what, what do you mean?"
"I will...be in....touch." She repeated, as if what she said was self explanatory.
"lady I heard that, I'm saying, you want to keep shooting me, like professionally?" I asked.
"Well yes, but if you don't want to then that's fine with me, I have many other suitors I'm sure would jump at the opportunity." She said matter of factly.
"No I do—it's just, it's abrupt." I said honestly.
"Abrupt is best, that way you don't block blessings thinking too much about it." She said wisely.
"Now run along, I have things to do." She said, doing a waving motion with her hand.
"You need my number right?" I asked.
"I already have it dear." She shook her head.
Before I could ask anymore questions I was being escorted out by security.
"Hollon I just—"
My words were cut off when I heard Jayceons voice over the mic
"Yo," he spoke up, his deep voice grabbing everyone's attention.
There were a few moments of silence as everyone waited for him to speak.
He had shades on now so I couldn't see his eyes, but I could already tell from his body language that something was off.
"is the Nigga gon speak?" I heard from someone in the crowd.
What followed that were whispers and murmurs from everyone about why Jayce had spoke up just to be silent.
"my fault yall, lost my train of thought, but since the crowd tonight has been so fire I wanted to let y'all know I got a video coming real soon for hood favorite."
Damn that was news to me, he hadn't spoken about it at all. I'm sure it's probably something his label was having him do though.
With that the crowd cheered and clapped at the news, plastering a smile on my boyfriends face.
He then looked as if he was about to say something else, but decided against it because he again handed the mic off.
Something was wrong, he was uncomfortable that was obvious for me to see.
He had spoken so much lately about being overwhelmed, or scared that he would be rather.
I was scared for us as much as I was just for him.
𝖍𝐨𝐨𝐝 ✍︎ 𝖋𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞.